Tonight at 11pm ET on MNN, I’ve got 56 minutes of new shit to share with you. That’s a lot! Been working my tushy off to get this right! Please tune in for the world premiere of 2 new kskill jams, “Fetch” and “THE TALK”. Gethard, Malone and I will be in the chat over here: chrisgeth.com/live
No sweat if you miss out, we’ll post the whole thang on YouTube tomorrow.
How One Orthodox Jewish Mom Told Her Kids About Birds & Bees
Worrying doesn’t just run in the women of my family – it does marathons. And after hearing about a child abuse case in a pre-school California in the early 80’s, my mother was terrified of all the horrible ways my sisters and I could be kidnapped, killed, and molested (though not necessarily in that order). So she decided she ought to bring up “bad touching” pronto. But before she could address “bad touching,” she thought it only right to tell us kids – we were five and six at the time – about how good touching worked. So she sat us down on our family room couch one evening, gave us the basics, fielded a couple follow up questions, and without any pomp or circumstance, we had had “the talk.”
This is my contribution to the Tentoo Party of Love and Acceptance and Deep Denial of That One Short Story I Shall Not Mention. I’m also tagging @doctorroseprompts, as this definitely fulfils the fall/autumn prompt.
Featuring the Doctor and Rose babysitting Tony for the weekend, and being disgustingly cute and soft as they do so because this is Tentoo and Rose we’re talking about.
They are barely through the front door that Tony is jumping onto the Doctor, clinging to one of his legs with his head thrown all the way back, looking up at him through many centimetres of height difference.
“Pleaaaase can we do climb up?”
The Doctor doesn’t even hesitate, already halfway done with taking off his peacoat when he says: “Up you go, then!”
He throws his coat on the ground, before taking position, which involves spreading his legs, lowering himself in a half-crouch, his arms bent and extended outward, his every muscles locked to make his body as stiff and sturdy as possible.
Overall, a rather awkward position.
‘Climb Up’ is not a favourite game amongst grownups. It involves a small child challenging himself or herself to ‘climb’ over the adult’s body as if it were a tree. Understandably enough, most people tend to be rather reluctant to engage in it, as it is all kind of uncomfortable and painful, the over-enthusiastic toddler’s elbows, knees and feet regularly poking into sensitive areas and leaving bruises in their wake.
The Doctor loves it – and Tony adores him for it.
“Who knew I would make such a good tree?” he’d once asked Rose, beaming at her, absolutely delighted with having a three-and-a-half-year old hanging upside down from one of his outstretched arms, an angry red mark already flaring on his cheekbone where Tony’s foot had made contact not-so-gently a couple minutes ago.
Tony doesn’t make it as far today, still trying to ascend the Doctor’s leg when a shrill gasp of disapproval rings through the air.
“Where the hell d’you think you are?!”
The Doctor’s smile immediately freezes at the sound of Jackie’s shout, while Tony slowly slides back down, having caught Rose’s eyes and seen the small shake of her head, wordlessly advising him to stop what he was doing to avoid getting caught up in their mother’s wrath.
