#there’s that

LIVE

i rarely reveal personal shit on here. but i kinda wanted to open up a bit….?
ever since i was a kid i wanted to draw comics. i drew comics. i loved comics, but neither me nor my family never had money to actually buy myself any (i will not go into detail to spare u the sob story) So I used to spend hours upon hours at a comic store close by my school and i would look at different comics and sometimes sketch some down, so i could use them as future reference.
fast forwards, to when i got into uni/college/whatever you wanna call it, i was just as obsessed with comics as i always had been, and so i was excited to have more ppl to talk to, and maybe learn from.
i meet a girl who’s an artist and who’s like rly great and stuff. we become friends, and she constantly has her nose buried in my sketchbooks. she literally follows me around, even though, she has a kinda big audience on tumblr and insta and has ppl who buy her art (huge avant garde paintings with like naked women or something.) and well, sometimes we sketch with each other, sometimes we talk about art. I tell her that I really wanna well, call myself an artist, because I don’t think I have any right to call myself that.
and one day, I tell her, that I wanna do comics. And she just, looks at my art, and says. “Oh, well, you can’t be an artist, because comics aren’t art, they’re just doodles.” And that… well, that literally crushed me.
For the next three and a half years I removed comics from my life completely, I wouldn’t draw anything but “serious” art, I copied artists who were as removed from comics as possible, so I could be a “serious” artist, because comics aren’t real art. And I literally forgot how to draw. I forgot my art style. The art I made ever since I was a kid.
Now, that I picked up the pen to draw again, I feel just how much skill I’ve lost. How much of my art is gone. And I’m so angry, that I allowed a stupid, stupid phrase, rid me of so much time. Time, which I could’ve spend polishing my art style and maybe learning something new, but instead, I was just thrown in all directions, not understanding, why none of the art styles I tried out, felt right.
So… I don’t know how to explain just how grateful I am for your wonderful feedback. For your kind words, for your support. I truly want to learn and to create again, and to get back the art and the style, which I used to have, but now, with the newly found knowledge (if you want to, I’ll gladly post some of my old art onto my twitter)
I can’t explain how loved and accepted I feel here, and I hope you know, just how much I love and appreciate each and ever one of you. thank you for all of your wonderful, lovely words. Thank you for your reassurance, that my art is worthy of something. I can’t fathom how I’ve found such wonderful peeps on here, but I did.
Have a wonderful day, my darling. I love you all so much.
your nona