enfp-and-intj:

me-is-an-intj:

Things your INTJ wish you knew

We know we can be jerks, but we desperately want you to know how much we love you.

We actually get our feelings hurt very easily, but we’ll never let you know that.

We want to talk about our emotions, but it is very, very difficult for us. When asked to say what we’re feeling, our minds draw a complete blank, and we just don’t know how to express it, so we generally just end up either refusing to speak about it, or end up muttering a lot of nonsense. It’s like a wall goes up in our mind preventing us from expressing ourselves.

We’re actually incredibly insecure and terrified of the people we love leaving us, despite our generally prideful exterior.

We notice when you’re hurting, even if we don’t say anything.

We notice a lot about people’s emotions, actually. While INFJs definitely hold the trophy when it comes to who reads people better, INTJs aren’t far behind, we’re just a lot more quiet about it. Why say anything if it isn’t important?

We put up our “cold sarcastic charismatic” persona as a protection, and what we really want is someone who cares enough to try and get past it.

Please be patient with us, we’re trying.

{ INTJ }

To add to this,

• We’re humans. So, sometimes we do make the wrong decision of becoming a jerk instead of dealing with the situation rationally. I don’t think there’s any justification to that so we apologize. However, you might think we don’t feel bad (due to our straight face/monotonous voice) but trust me, we do. We beat ourselves up after the incident for probably a week or more. And it hurts when you claim we don’t just because we don’t fall dramatically to your feet begging for forgiveness. We deal with guilt inside, in our internal monologue - that’s where we reflect, improve and change ourselves. We might do extra nice things for you too to make up for it but please don’t claim we don’t ‘feel bad’. 
• Yeah, we wouldn’t really tell you that you’re being hurtful or offensive. It’s almost like saying we’re vulnerable for being affected by what you did or said. We’d most likely be silent about it (but we wouldn’t be passive-aggressive). We’d just be less energetic. As ENFP described me when I’m in this state; I’d become barely audible and would avoid any eye contacts. That’s the sign when INTJ is upset. But with enough interrogation we’d open up. 
• Explaining our emotions to someone feels like writing an essay. It doesn’t take 3 minutes. It takes hours to construct the introduction, body and conclusion. When we finish writing it, we’ll tell you. But when we haven’t, we’d just be stuck on the introduction without any content because obviously we haven’t though about it. 
• We actually remind ourselves that a relationship with someone is a 50/50 risk. We prepare ourselves for chances of failure and the pain. Instead of saying “he won’t leave” I’d say, “he may leave and I’d be upset, but I’ll be okay” - if that makes sense. I’d say that my insecurity is well-planned and backed up in case of an emergency. 
• The reason we’re not saying anything is because our straight face and monotonous voice might just worsen things (because it did for me). 
• Yeah, we can read people easily but will only say it when it’s necessary. 
• We dealt with too many rejections so we added our defenses. 
• Patience is one thing, understanding is another. Seeing you putting effort to get us or deal with us, would probably be the sweetest thing. 

*reblogs my own post for this addition*