this moment. this moment should have ended the argument that we shouldn’t play as abby. this is a moment that i missed the full significance of during my first playthrough because there was just so much happening. on my most recent playthrough it made me cry, like a lot. we see this moment 3 times and i want to talk about them.
the first time we see it, abby has killed joel. she has been having nightmares about the day joel killed her father for a long time (we see her having nightmares when she is in jackson before we know what caused them). in seattle, she dreams about walking into that room and finding him dead, & she bolts awake after a rough sleep. joel is dead, her revenge is complete, she should finally feel better. but she doesn’t.
the second time, abby has been saved by yara and lev, who she has now left alone, injured and vulnerable. we see abby having another nightmare, though this time it shows yara and lev, dead. abby bolts awake again, she shouldn’t feel guilty about leaving yara and lev on their own, but she does.
the last time we see this dream sequence is after abby knows that yara and lev are finally both safe from further harm, yara has survived her amputation and lev is back by her side. abby’s dreams are then peaceful, we see her father smiling at her, proud. abby wakes up naturally, having slept peacefully through the night for the first time in years.
abby’s story isn’t about revenge or hate, it’s about love and hope. she thought that her purpose was to kill joel, and that his death would bring her peace but that’s not what happens. abby doesn’t find peace until she is able to find her true purpose & she begins to heal from her past, not by removing what caused her misery, the only thing achieved by that was more misery on ellie’s part. abby begins to heal by learning to “look for the light” again, she finds this in both yara and lev, but particularly lev, and he keeps her looking forwards. her story is absolutely essential to the theme of this game, no matter how many people refuse to even give her a chance because she killed your favourite character. i don’t care whether you like her or not, her story & the way she learns to deal with her pain hits me hard and so i love her.
