#transfer application

I’m currently sitting in the library’s quiet room, with the intent to study, finding myself working on my transfer application.

I feel really sad, writing this, in this somewhat beautiful library. I feel very disloyal and rude writing my transfer application essay here. I feel bad writing it in general. I should be studying, that’s why I came here, but I can’t focus. All I want to do is write this damn essay.

I don’t really know what about this school I don’t like. I’m not sure why I don’t feel like this is me, why I don’t feel that this is where I’m meant to be. Everyone talks about how their university “is home” and how they just knowthey belong there.  It’s been almost a month since classes started, so maybe that sense of belonging-ness will develop after time. This is one of those things where someone will pipe in and say, “only time will tell.”

Except I don’t want time to tell. I’m extremely impatient and hate the idea of waiting for something that may never come, especially something so intangible as feeling like I belong, like this is meant to be. Who knows, maybe I’ll end up transferring somewhere and feel even more out of place there.

But, for right now, writing this essay is really hard. I want it to sound great, but I know in the back of my mind that there is a very little chance that I will be accepted. With the amount of undergrads already at my dream school and number of transfer applicants and my academic history, I don’t see a whole lot of light at the end of the tunnel. It’s still worth a try.

Fin.