#trauma dump
Wow, what an awesome day.
- Wisdom tooth is coming in. Shit hurts.
- Ordered chili for lunch so I didn’t have to chew anything. It was over 30 minutes late, greasy, and tasted disgusting.
- One of the volunteers keeps taking shit from my station, and took my bag of spare earring backs (which I needed, because I had a bunch without any backs). Had to ransack her area upstairs until I finally found it.
- Some lady that smelled like weed trapped me in awkward conversation for 20 minutes.
- I’ve caught a fucking cold.
Anyone else had a shitty day today or recently?
More like I’ve had a shitty month, tbh. From the end of November to now, I’ve:
- Unconsciously overstepped the boundaries of two now ex-partners.
- Made jokes that were unintentionally misgendering.
- Failed to communicate about financial troubles with my roommates, which has led to tension in the house.
- Had a mental breakdown that was so bad it led to me attempting Self-Yeet AGAIN.
- Failed to properly communicate what’s been going on inside my head, including botched apologies and more mental breakdowns.
- Burned a bridge with my best friend so badly that they have excommunicated me.
- And have been deemed such a danger to myself and those around me that all of my other friends and partners are refusing to speak to me.
- The last part is the worst, because my trauma-induced memory deterioration and poor grasping of body language have left me in a delirious state of forgetting why everyone’s mad, and getting silence when I ask for someone to either 1) explain in layman’s terms, or 2) let me piece together what little I’ve been able to remember.
So…yeah. Winter 2021 has been a near-continuous downward spiral, and I don’t know how much more I can take.
I’m very flattered that you find my blog to be a safe space to talk about your deepest, darkest issues in your life.
However, I don’t always have the mental and emotional capacity to handle your trauma dumps. So I would really, reallyappreciate your understanding to at least check on me first to see if it’s fine to have a serious rant?
I’m only a person who has good days and bad days, and so do you, so let’s try to treat each other with a little more care, yeah?
