The thing that kills me about the WTF crotch grab is that there’s so much intent behind it. Martin didn’t phone that in. He thrusts his hips and he curls his fingers and he really gets a good grip. And as a result, you can really get a sense of heft. For which I am eternally grateful.
Listen I try to be a decent adult grown human, and be respectful to women because they deserve it as fellow humans, but sometimes I reblog a tumblr post because another decent adult grown person just looks like That, and I am reduced to the equivalent of a weird little Goblin, crouching under a broken bit of cement by the highway overpass, clutching a single piece of paper with the word “boobs” written in awkward handwriting and capital letters on a squelchy bit of gray receipt paper, waving that paper at people as they walk past, desperately hoping someone else sees the miracle that I see.
It’s feminist for me to fantasize about a beefy country boy to lift things for me and introduce me to his goats, because it turns me on and is therefore empowering!!! Fuck you!!!!!!!
Are there weird gender role issues here if he has a big appetite and I make a lot of food for him? NO, because I am also PEGGING HIM in this scenario!! I am the FARM DOMME
I’m going back in time to cancel this post because I’ve been told this is categorized as horny on main. Frankly I don’t see how it is horny to want someone in scuffed jeans blush while letting you pet their sheep but I’ve been overruled and I have a career to consider so [REDACTED]
Julia I’m reporting you
Julia I’m just worried about the goats
God okay you don’t understand, the goats initially are somewhat skittish but end up liking me right away, leading the farmboy to go “I’ve never seen them warm up to anyone so quickly before!” And we share a shy but tender glance as the sun sets, until a goat does something silly that makes us both break into laughter. The GOATS are ESSENTIAL in getting him to NUT IN ME
