#tumblr lore

llamallover:

pastabot:

honted:

tilthat:

TIL the first known case of “dying from laughing” involved the greek man called Chrysippus, who, after giving figs to his donkey, cried out “Now give the donkey a drink of pure wine to wash down the figs”, had a fit of laughter afterwards and died.

viareddit.com

pretty funny i guess

had to be there

Translation is always tricky, but I remember this slightly different:

Figs were an imported delicacy at the time, and the donkey just managed to eat them (without being given any on purpose). Seeing a donkey eating several times their own value in figs, the philosopher looked to his servant who might have been standing there either in shock, despair, or both, and said something along the lines of
“Oh don’t just stand there. Get him some (undiluted) wine to wash the figs down with”. With (undiluted) wine also being an expensive drink.

I feel like that context makes it funnier. Basically like standing in front of your burning mansion with a butler, meeting their eyes, and telling them that you still feel a little chilly and ask them if they could put on an extra log or two.

thefloralpeach:

dono-harm-totonystark:

heartoffireandembers:

societyliver:

piedude:

nanopearl:

bandtshirt:

do y’all remember before direct messages tumblr had a dumbass ask limit of 10 per hour and communication was impossible until they introduced dumbass fan mail and we were basically sending telegraphs back in forth trying to communicate those were…dark times

Do y'all remember when they finally gave us direct messages and instead of doing it normally, they gave it to a few people at a time and we had to infect each other with it like a virus

remember when any post with more than like 6 people talking was unreadably smushed except for the last few additions remember when any post of over 500 characters became a link back to op’s blog readmore style remember when video and audio posts had about a 10% chance of working when you click play

As a recent user I love finding out shit like this from older users. What the fuck guys???? Why were you USING IT AT ALL?!??

believe it or not, we liked that more

its worth noting that immediately after these updates that made everything better, we were all angry about it

pinene:

lost-in-pink:

cupcakesmilez:

warmleveret:

as funny as “those are his hooves you bitch” I’m mad that it overshadows that lil wayne really did have socks on in a jacuzzi 

can y'all stop just throwing random words together and expecting us to understand it

you had to be there

this post makes me so angry bc the socks in the jacuzzi was literally overshadowed again. the point of this post is now that someone doesn’t know about the socks not the socks themselves. maybe we aren’t allowed to discuss it

quasi-normalcy:

some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat:

gayshitanddadjokes:

themastertactician:

butchscientist:

gray-warden:

i am indifferent towards your shoelaces

thanks. i obtained them through entirely legal means wholly unrelated to any country’s head of state

protect the children

…do they not know? Do they not understand the ancient texts?

The old ways are not taught to the younger generations, they are left to be forgotten along with the tragedies of the past.

I tried to find the “Ancient Sins” gif from Gravity Falls, but it didn’t turn up. Truly, the Old World is lost.