#ugh superheroes

“I’m very progressive,” Tony protested. “All Stark Industries employees get International Women’s Day off as a paid holiday! I pay Pepper a dollar on the dollar! I bought her a strap-on for our anniversary!”

Bucky winced. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to stick it in megalomania?” he said, addressing Pepper.

Pepper pressed her lips together into a thin line. “Tony,” she said, warning.

Tony was still going. “—went to NYC Pride once, even if they didn’t let me add an Iron Man float! I supported SpaceX! I’ve had brunch with Warren Buffett! I donate to starving Yemeni orphans!”

“After profiting directly off the wars in their home country,” Steve said, under his breath. Bucky snickered.

For Alex @lexiconallie<3