I love my fath– I’m so big what the fuck. So naturally I chab-, challenged his murderer to a . I failed. The six-fingered man left mealive! …but he gave me these.How old were you? Ffive years old. When I was strong enough, I dedicated my life to the study of ᶠʳᵉⁿᶜʰ… Fencing. So the next time we beet, I-I will not fall… fail. I will go up to the six-fingered man and say! . My name is Indigo MontoyyyyyyA….?? You k- you killed my father. Prepare to die, heh.
“There was something awesome about being at a truck stop at like two a.m. putting eyeliner on with big burly truckers everywhere. It was just really dangerous.”
For those who don’t know Tubbo’s server fell victim to the very rare chocobo glitch which if one chocobo is left in water in unloaded chunks it has a chance of glitching and mass cloning itself and kills the server. So here’s a clip for your entertainment (I believe it’s from Sneeg’s twitter but I was sent it so if the credits are wrong please correct me)
Also for the person who asked this is the reason Tubbo was having a breakdown in Ranboo’s stream
you know when you and that e-girl you fancied actually make it and hook up but you live in different cities and shit. yeah that was chill and dating some sort of girl creature is nice but you know when you’ve endured weeks of “would you love me if i was a lamp” and “please mod my stream please mod my stream please mod my stream” and “spit in my mouth” messages and you go to her place for date weekend and the smell just hits you like a wall when you open the door. homegirl got that reek. that no shower november, that cheap vodka and mcdonalds sweat vibe. That thank god you can’t smell me thru twitch kinda beat and you find her huddled in her cave watching whetever chinese cartoon is on the meme this week and before she gets at you with that “daddy i’m not dirty i’m just based and lainpilled” you drag her scrawny lil ass to the shower. she’s passed grimes and moved onto mud and baby you’re a gas station powerwasher. There’s no use resisting, you’re filled with the concerned rage of a diappointed parent. You ain’t daddy, you’re Father dearest. you hose her down properly but there is challenge waiting. the layers of filth, makeup and grease has formed a waterproof cocoon. girl putting the crusty in crustecean and you need a hammer and a chisel to break open the shell to get at the juicy pale white girlmeat inside. She makes a fuss like an angry cat and threaten to refuse wearing the asuka costume for you ever again, but she eventually drops the hissing and succumbs to the soap and water. Colours you ain’t ever seen before swirls around the drain hole and you just know you have to bleach the shit out of that later. Your creature is reborn as she emerges from the dirt and you remember why you love her. She’s beautiful. Cracked open and freed you dry her off with a towel and kiss her forehead. You cook her dinner after airing out her place and she nearly pukes before once again adjusting to solids. You two talk about how you feel as the evening drags on into the long night. Two humans connecting, breaking bread and caring for eachother. Love wins
i really think an early 2000s mall au is it i still can’t believe i made the gigantic brain move to put seonghwa as the only employee of a yankee candle. like the store fits him he’d have every mom, aunt, and grandma giggling and spending $500 minimum on CANDLES
san hottopic and his bestfriend wooyoung zumiez no even funnier is san hottopic and his bestfriend wooyoung aerocombie and fitch or something god san is decked out in jelly jewelry and fishnets and piercings and wooyoung is wearing a sweater vest and boat shoes
jongho and yunho work at build a bear like i said before and yunho is sugar and sweet and kids adore him so much meanwhile jongho is like this is all a money grab and you won’t care about this toy in a year and the aura that comes off of him is sometimes either really frightening to kids or for some weird reason extremely intriguing. hong is the general store manager and both of them drive him insane because yunho on numerous occasion holds up the stuffing line talking to one kid for an hour and jongho just made someone’s grown father cry so like. …
mingi from subway. he’s good at making sandwiches with those big hands. still doesn’t understand that pizza is now a thing at subway like who tf wants to buy a pizza from subway. looks cute in the uniform hat that looks atrocious on everyone else. the doordashers that always show up are in love with him
yeosang does not work at the mall his family owns the mall he is not built for any kind of minimum wage work he once tried to do a shift at the prada and told some snarky mean old lady to hurry up because she didn’t have much time either way and you can imagine how that went over
nsfw content - do not read or interact if you are under 18
cw - non-idol!au, porn without plot, under negotiated kink, shotgunning except it’s with a drink, pegging, prostate massage (kind of), mild feminization, mild degradation, hands-free/ruined orgasms, (mingi has a) breeding kink, dirty talk, petnames (princess, dollface), alcohol, reader and wooyoung live together
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From the moment you’d started crushing on Mingi (read: the moment Hongjoong had introduced him to you), he’d been the centre of an ongoing debate between you and Wooyoung.
Mingi was gorgeous. There was no way to get around that. He had thick thighs and big lips, and his clothes always fit him as though they’d been made specially for him. Sure, he didn’t have a waist like San’s or an ass like Jongho’s, but - in your humble opinion - he was still hot. His appearance suited him and his personality. The only conflict in his appearance was the exact subject of you and Wooyoung’s debate - because Wooyoung was oddly adamant that with a body like his there was no way Mingi could bottom.
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