i forgot the furnace guy was coming today. right. so i answer the door and im in my dino pajamas right out of bed and when hes working on the furnace he fucking. he cuts his finger on the furnace. so i take him into the bathroom to do some first aid bc its looking pretty bad and i forgot about the fucking. shadow the hedgehog nice cock sign on my wall. so im standing there. cringing out of my mind. what an impression. youre maintenancing someones furnace qnd you hurt your finger and this person is very adamant about first aid protocol and you walk into their bathroom and just see this shit. what the fuck
dont do this to me
help
I personally saw this go from 500 to 7000 in a matter of hours
I have a friend who is an HVAC guy and I asked him once while he was fixing our furnace, what the weirdest thing he’d ever seen on the job was and he rattled off a dozen stories, including:
People answering the door naked
People answering the door in full gimp suits, having either been interrupted because they forgot the appointment (funny) or dressed up special for him (bad)
woman with 200+ cats (called animal control, later adopted one of the cats)
house full of rotting food and garbage
House expiriencing Major Structural Failure. “Ma'am we gotta leave the roof’s about to fall in”
people who sit and watch him work without talking (talkers are fine, just don’t get in the way. Silent people are either suspicious or horny)
“people leave dildoes and bongs other paraphenelia out all the time. like not on purpose. Just forgetful like. Mostly I worry about thier hygene.”
That time the client had a heart attack while he was working there
That time a client went into labor while he was there
the guy with a basement dedicated to Alex Trebek/Jepoardy. “Like, it was perfectly clean. And really well done. He had a working board and stands n’ shit. but like. Too many pics of Trebek, you know?”
Client that kept offering him Homemade Blood Sausage. “Not like hannibal, she was a little old lady from France, so it was an, whatsit, ethnic thing? Really nice of her. But also, no.”
So I would like to reassure you that “NICE COCK” Shadow The Hedgehog is not the weirdest thing the guy saw that week, but it might have been the funniest.
JK Rowling said on twitter that she kept the secret that Nagini was an Asian girl turned into a snake against her will for 20 yrs. Tbh I think she’s just full of shit and made it up years after the books concluded so she stays relevant by retconning the lore just like how she stated that wizards would shit themselves instead of using toilets like civilized people and use magic to clean their crap.
attention fellow decepticons, it has come to my attention that you all are PISSING over your com links. I’ve caught both high and low ranking members, even my second in command, pissing over com links so loud, you can hear it in the mic. Please stop this I don’t want to have to start offlining bots. We also DO NOT need to know what color the piss Is, or what energon you drank to get said piss color Is. And no, I will not make a “Piss Link” This Is the last warning to my fellow decepticons, or I will offline you.
If anyone wants to see an extremely cursed edit of the last gif I’m willing to oblige but i warn you it looks like actual, literal shit and might be nauseating to look at
Okay I’m about to show y’all an atrocity but again I’m gonna warn you it literally looks like smearing literal actual shit (also one of the filters made it blurry and that might be headache-inducing)
Sorry I feel like no one is talking about how the dinosaurs look at the stars I nearly cried at that part can you imagine that like obviously we see it in modern animals too but god for us all to be looking at the same starry night for guidance to find a place we could find safety in? A place to call home, even if temporarily?? I’m going to shit.
why the fuck why what’s their health inspection score how does the FDA allow this to what extent do they think salt is self-sanitizing are they perhaps thinking of bleach how do you “wipe down” a wall of salt do you wipe it down between every fucking customer how many licks does it take to get on the Center of Disease Control’s shit list
