Rating Bloodborne Men Based on their Facedata… In Elden Ring
Yep. I followed their sliders exactly (while making slight adjustments like giving them actual eyebrows) as they are on the wiki in the Elden Ring character creator. I didn’t do all of them because that’s time consuming but… Some of these guys weren’t meant to be seen in 4k because they either become weirdly attractive or unsettling as hell.
1. Valtr, Master of the League
He turned into the personification of like look at him. Look at him. He’s so sad. Like you just told him you didn’t wanna join the League. Or you told him you didn’t like his roast beast ribs that he grilled just for you. Who hurt you, Valtr? Who? 5/10 he looks like he could collapse into a pile of wet tissues if you breathed too hard in his direction
2. Simon the Harrowed
He went from looking concerned to a little angry. This is the point in his life where he learned the Healing Church kinda fucking sucks. He is now determined to expose some religious corruption. And he’s still fairly good looking, even better than in Bloodborne I say! I am so proud of my boy 10/10
3. Alfred the Executioner
OMG he looks like a baby. With mutton chops. He’s so round and friend-shaped! I could pinch those cheeks, he’s adorable, but still not my type. This is not the face of a man I’d associate with violent anti-Vileblood racism lmao 8/10
4. Brador, Church Assassin (Young)
Behold, my blorbo in 4K and… He’s… A guy for sure. IDK what to say?? I can’t tell who or what he resembles. I can’t tell if he looks more or less normal. If I passed him on the street I wouldn’t even register him. He looks like he’d drink straight vodka. One of the most dudes ever 6/10
5. Yamamura the Wanderer
There’s no glasses option so I literally cannot recognize this guy as Yamamura. Still super cute but who the fuck is this????? His brother, Sweetpotatomura?? I’d kiss him too 9/10
6. Retired Hunter Djura
Oh wow. Like holy shit. He’s actually hot. He looks incredible in Elden Ring it’s actually unbelievable?? This is a glow up. Damn. Daddy? Sorry. Daddy? Sorry— 11/10
7. Micolash, Host of the Nightmare
Yep. Still horrifying. More bearable to look at, but still extremely unsettling. -3/10
POV you just texted Valtr back about his BBQ and said that you can’t go because you’re busy fucking HQ 4K 1080p Elden Ring Djura so Valtr sends you this
