#vegas aids
So many things to think about these past few months. Haven’t had time to sit down and ponder allowed on the internet in a while. Here’s a list of things that have happened, keep yourself informed. Notice how the most recent things are the longest.
1)Bottle Rock Napa - good friends, good food, good music, great wine, no memories. Perfect!
2)Uncle John’s wedding - woke up sick and remained sick for the entire weekend of festivities, but had a nice time seeing family. Unfortunately, a few things have happened since the time of the wedding and all I can say is that I’m really glad that I could be there.
3) “Survived” my Hospitality and Tourism Management business class - I came, I saw, I pillaged, I raped! The final took me 15 minutes in and out and although I was racing to turn it in first, someone beat me by 2 minutes. Oh well. I’m still waiting to see my overall grade and I’m really hoping I get at least 99% in the class. I took this ridiculous excuse for college level pedagogy extremely seriously. I turned in everything early, I came to class almost every week, I corrected the teacher on his quiz errors with screen shots and book underlinings in multiple emails, (which he has promptly ignored even though I have clear evidence of my correctness and his ineptitude), I even did two separate extra credit papers on the effects of tourism on Vang Vieng, Laos and a hospitality seminar that I attended for work. BOOYAH COMMUNITY COLLEGE.
4)Showtoons: Encore Get’s Animated - After months of practicing and a few moments of pure terror, the show finally came and went. I sang my solo and I did my best, although I clearly remember SOMEBODY making a mistake BOTH NIGHTS and I don’t think it was me. I’ll have to review the video when it comes out to find out wtf happened. Still utterly relieved that it is over. Phew!
4)VAYYYYY GASSSSS - Finally, the climax of the season! VEGAS! OH BOY I’M IN VEGAS AND I’VE BEEN WAITING FOREVER TO GET HERE AND I JUST DROVE 5 HOURS AND I FOR….Got…. what… it’s like… when you live here…. ANNNND, yeah. Clearly it’s no one else’s fault but my own. I was envisioning nights of looking pretty, eating lavish dinners on the strip and aimlessly wandering from bar to bar with all the pretty people. Unfortunately, when your husband lives in vegas off strip and things don’t go amazingly the day that you arrive, you get to stay home and watch vegas strip instead of actually vayy gasss stripping and you get to eat all you can sushi that gives you food poisoning instead of foie gras. After the first few days, things got more entertaining though. My sister in law and I managed to get in to ditch Friday (after waiting in line for 2 hours) to see Ludacris. Then, that night, I indulged in the foie gras (illegal in CA) that i have been salivating about, and then we got bottle service at Vegas’s newest premier nightclub, Light.
It was all super fun until 2am hit. My sis in law and I left our table on the 3rd floor to go get our groove on in front of the DJ. We danced, we sang, we got low, we jumped high, and then we got thirsty for more booze, so we attempted to head back to our friends at the table. A security guard stopped me upon entering the stairwell and told me that no one was allowed upstairs anymore. I gave him a look like “bitch step off, I have a table and we just dropped over a grand at your establishment so you best be letting me back up those damn stairs”. And then I just pushed him aside and started walking towards the stairs, pulling my SIL with me. He then put his hands on me and told me that he didn’t care that I had a table or that my friends were all up there. I got really pissed and tried to push past him, but he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me back down the stairs, bruising my shin. I kicked and wiggled and bolted as fast as I could up the stairs and I realized that Kat was still down there so I just ran (in 5 inch heels thank you) until I found our table and I told them what had happened. I was frantically saying that someone needed to go get Kat, but then I turned around and she was running behind me. She said she had to escape the grasps of this security guard also. I, of course, was extremely angry and I recounted the story to our security guy and he said that it “never ever should have happened”. He then called his boss “Chance” (the main security guy I guess) and Chance came up, ready to listen to some dumb drunk beezy stumble over her words and forget what she was talking about mid sentence. Unfortunately for him, I was excruciatingly coherent. I told him that I was extremely disappointed with the way we were treated and that there is absolutely no reason to use force against a 100 lb girl trying to get back to her friends inside a club full of strange men in Vegas, especially if we are paying that kind of money to have a good time. He apologized the way douche bags apologize (I’m sorry that it came off that he was restraining you…blah blah blah). We left, and I won’t be back.
Then the next day, I was forced out of bed, aching, hungover, bruised and dehydrated. We had tickets to see Dada Life at Wet Republic and even though I was a wreck, they made me go. We got there and of course, there was a line to get in, only this time, the line was outside in the 108 degree desert sun. I swear to you, I almost fainted. They gave us no water for the 30 minutes that we had to stand out there and I wanted to end my life by the time we got inside. When we got to the front of the line, they saw that I was clearly not ok so they generously gave me and my friends 3 itty bitty cold waters for free. Thanks guys. Anyway, once inside, the pool was packed with scantly clad sexy people and scantly clad abominations to the human race. Not entirely sure which one I am, but really hoping for one particular option over the other. I opted out of the alcohol haze for the first 2 hours of the day, but eventually I decided that YOLO!!!!! lets get drunk. Dada Life was amazing and the best part of my trip was dancing right up in front of the DJ booth.
After the pool, we decided that eating food was probably kind of important to our survival, so after some awkward fighting with our friends, we decided to part ways. I went home with my husband and SIL to eat cheap, disgusting, frozen pizza (which my husband later spilled ALL OVER the bed…and himself). Then, after some naps, we rallied and headed back to the strip to make amends with our friend who was pissed that we weren’t down to keep partying earlier. It was an uneventful night, aside from it taking 2 hours to get a cab. The next morning, I woke up sick with the same sore throat from Uncle John’s wedding (Vegas Aids). Needless to say, the rest of my “vacation” was pretty much ruined by feeling shitty. And then I drove 5 hours home. YAy VAyyyy GAsss AIIIDDDSSS! Oh, and then I was highly disappointed by the Game of Thrones finale. Really? I have to wait another year to find out what happens? I hate TV.
