This is a commission from a follower on Instagram. She asked me to draw Din and her OC (and Din’s foundling) at their wedding. I had a lot of fun drawing them, they are so cute ❤️
You can find her fic here (the wedding scene us not posted yet). The fic is “The burden of responsibility”
Some eagle-eyed tumblr people spotted some of the unpublished art I did early on for “Once Upon A Time” in more recent seasons. This one here was done for an abandoned version of the Pilot episode’s cut, way back when.
I am sooooo bad about updating Tumblr. I’m sorry, guys! I posted this last week ^^; Commission done by the wonderful @istehlurvz which perfectly fits the wedding scene.
The next morning, Kestrel woke up alone, fingers ghosting over an empty space next to him in the bed. The sheets were cool to the touch. Dorian hadn’t been in bed for a while. With a disappointed groan, Kestrel turned over in bed to face the balcony. And Cole.
Kestrel jerked back, sitting up. Not only was Cole present, but another man stood beside him.
Kestrel clutched the sheets close to him, very aware of his nudity in front of the stranger. “Can I…help you?” he asked, embarrassed.
“He asked to see you. Given your intimate past with him, I didn’t think you would mind.”
Kestrel looked the visitor over and couldn’t deny the fact that there was something familiar about him. Between his long, dark hair with short shorn sides and gray eyes, he looked like he could be related to Dorian. And then he smiled.
Kestrel froze in horror. “You…it’s you!” He clutched the sheet to him tighter.
Cole frowned. “I thought it would be okay, but you’re not happy.”
“Of course I’m not, Cole! This….creature, he raped me.”
“We were both forced into a task we’d rather not do,” the non-Dorian said.
Swallowing hard, Kestrel forced himself to ignore the demon and continued addressing Cole. “He may be wearing a different face, but I recognize him as the demon he is.”
“He’s no longer a desire demon. Once his captor died, he was released from his shackles and returned to the Fade. There, he was able to regain his true form as a spirit of purpose.”
“Yes, which is why I wanted to see you, Kestrel. To thank you. You freed me with Master’s death. And to apologize. Being pulled from the Fade by force twists us, corrupts us. I was as much enslaved by my need to feed on your and Master’s desires as I was by the summoning itself. I regret the harm I caused you.”
I am sooooo bad about updating Tumblr. I’m sorry, guys! I posted this last week ^^; Commission done by the wonderful @istehlurvz which perfectly fits the wedding scene.
The next morning, Kestrel woke up alone, fingers ghosting over an empty space next to him in the bed. The sheets were cool to the touch. Dorian hadn’t been in bed for a while. With a disappointed groan, Kestrel turned over in bed to face the balcony. And Cole.
Kestrel jerked back, sitting up. Not only was Cole present, but another man stood beside him.
Kestrel clutched the sheets close to him, very aware of his nudity in front of the stranger. “Can I…help you?” he asked, embarrassed.
“He asked to see you. Given your intimate past with him, I didn’t think you would mind.”
Kestrel looked the visitor over and couldn’t deny the fact that there was something familiar about him. Between his long, dark hair with short shorn sides and gray eyes, he looked like he could be related to Dorian. And then he smiled.
Kestrel froze in horror. “You…it’s you!” He clutched the sheet to him tighter.
Cole frowned. “I thought it would be okay, but you’re not happy.”
“Of course I’m not, Cole! This….creature, he raped me.”
“We were both forced into a task we’d rather not do,” the non-Dorian said.
Swallowing hard, Kestrel forced himself to ignore the demon and continued addressing Cole. “He may be wearing a different face, but I recognize him as the demon he is.”
“He’s no longer a desire demon. Once his captor died, he was released from his shackles and returned to the Fade. There, he was able to regain his true form as a spirit of purpose.”
“Yes, which is why I wanted to see you, Kestrel. To thank you. You freed me with Master’s death. And to apologize. Being pulled from the Fade by force twists us, corrupts us. I was as much enslaved by my need to feed on your and Master’s desires as I was by the summoning itself. I regret the harm I caused you.”
Kestrel studied the spirit and judged him truthful, especially with Cole vouching for him. They’d both been slaves in that house, and the demon had never intentionally harmed him. “Alright, spirit. I…accept your apology. I’m sorry you were forced to participate in my torture. But forgiveness is not something I can offer you.”
The spirit smiled sadly. “I understand. Then I will take my leave.”
As he started to dissipate, Kestrel reached out and said, “Wait!”
Gray eyes fixed on him again, the spirit’s head tilting to the side. “Yes?”
“When you said I had no purpose except for Dorian, was that the truth?”
“Some purposes are small and others are large. They’re always changing, but they’re all important.”
“Is that a yes?”
“Making this man, this Dorian happy, would that be such a terrible purpose? You know the truth. Now, you just need to figure out how best to accomplish your purpose.”
“He’s happiest when you’re happy,” Cole said.
The other spirit nodded before popping out of existence.
“But I just want him to be happy, Cole. It doesn’t matter what I want. I’m already lucky enough that he’s accepted me back after…everything. If he wants a big wedding with lots of strangers, who am I to argue?”
“His partner. You’re his partner. You should tell him what you want.”
Kestrel sighed. “You’re right. Can you do me a favor?”
Cole smiled. “Yes.” And then he disappeared.
Kestrel took his time alone to climb out of bed and throw on one of Dorian’s robes and began pacing. What would Dorian say if he spoke his mind? When had he ever been worried about speaking his mind to Dorian, though?
“Amatus?” Dorian said with a tone that indicated that wasn’t the first time he’d spoken. “A little spirit told me you were looking for me.”
“Where were you?” Kestrel asked, unable to keep the accusatory tinge from his words.
Dorian shrugged off the tone and smiled softly. “I was catching up with Cullen, and then Bull joined us at the table for breakfast. I kept an eye out for you but never saw you come down. They’re all eager to see you again, you know.”
But would they be just as eager to be around him after seeing what he’s become? And why was he upset that Dorian was seeing their old friends instead of staying glued to his side? It was an unhealthy expectation.
“Do you know who paid me a visit while you were out?”
Dorian frowned and shook his head.
“The demon who…who…” Kestrel buried his face in his hand. Why was he even telling Dorian this? He knew it would upset him. He knew it would cause him guilt for leaving his side.
He spotted the clenching of Dorian’s fists and the darkening of his expression. The smoldering fireplace, reduced to mostly ashes, flared to life with Dorian’s rage.
Kestrel spoke before Dorian could vent his anger. “I…I’m sorry, ma vhenan. I feel like I’m falling apart and you’re the only one who’s holding me together. Even then, I feel like I don’t deserve you. Just like I don’t deserve their friendship. But I’m too selfish to give you up. Them, on the other hand, I’d rather they keep picturing me as the Inquisitor, as the Herald who wasn’t reduced to a pathetic waste after we parted ways, as the leader who wasn’t enslaved and branded. If they see me now…” Kestrel leaned against his desk, avoiding Dorian’s gaze and instead focusing on the stain glass doors closed against the cold.
“Everything in these past several months has been a whirlwind. I don’t know who I am anymore, only that I want to be with you. I’m clinging to that like a lifeline and was starting to get my footing, but here, at Skyhold, I’ve lost it again. I’m torn between who I was and who I am now. They’re very different people. Is it terrible that I only want our wedding to be us? I don’t want to focus on anyone else. If only you and I stand beneath the Creators during the bonding ceremony, you’ll have no choice but to see the person I am now and to either accept or reject that person. If there are others, you may fall into your usual facade to appease them; follow what they want for you.”
Dorian embraced him then. He wrapped his arms around Kestrel so tightly, there was a minor worry about cutting off his air. “Nothing can change the fact that I am determined to marry you, but I realize that coming here to do that wasn’t the best idea. If you want something small and intimate, I will make it happen, but that doesn’t mean that you should sequester yourself up here and avoid our friends. They’ve missed you, and I can assure you that, as your friends, they won’t judge you for what’s happened. That’s what friends are. Take me for example. I stepped into their midst as a Tevinter magister, a rogue mage from the most hated of countries, and while there was some hesitation at first, they accepted me. People warm to you in a heartbeat still, Kes. These are your friends, nothing has changed that.”
Kestrel buried his face in Dorian’s neck, breathing in his sandalwood scent to calm himself. “I…If you think it’s for the best, I suppose I can meet them again,” he murmured.
“Look, if it’s too much, too fast, let me—”
A tentative knock interrupted them.
“Dorian, did you…?”
Dorian pulled away, holding up his hands. “It’s not me, I swear.”
“You may enter,” Kestrel called out.
“Kestrel…?” asked a smaller voice.
Kestrel immediately recognized it, but there was no way…
Dalish’s head poked up from around the stairs, hesitation quickly shifting to joy as soon as their gazes connected. “Kestrel!” He cried and sprang forward, tackling Kestrel in the next moment.
Kestrel fell to the ground with a joyous laugh, hugging Dalish close. “What are you…?”
“The strangest thing happened,” another familiar voice said, and Taeven cleared the stairs.
“Tae…?” Dorian asked. “I thought you couldn’t take so much time away from running the Minrathous manor and the countryside estate.”
“The plan was to remain behind, but somehow your friend, Solas, heard about our desire to be with you, despite the time constraints, and planned travel arrangements. I’m not exactly sure how he had us travel since we were blindfolded, but it took only a day of travel to reach this place.”
“You saw him?”
“Only briefly. He had an elvhen escort us here, but he wanted to wish you a wonderful wedding. And he said, ‘Despite evidence to the contrary, I want you to be happy, Kestrel. Use what time is left to enjoy one another.’ …He’s not the elvhen god bent on the destruction of Thedas, is he?”
Dorian frowned. “That’s the one.”
“That was Fen’harel? The Fen’harel?”
Kestrel nodded.
“I thought he felt a bit…wolfy,” Taeven said with a silly grin.
Dorian and Kestrel groaned while Dalish giggled.
“Enough of him, although we’ll happily accept his gift of having you two with us,” Kestrel said, hugging Dalish again.
Dalish returned the hug before climbing to his feet, bouncing on the balls. “Can you show me around? I’ve never seen a castle like this before.”
“What a wonderful idea! Kes, you should introduce Dalish to our friends. Since Taeven’s here, I’m going to enlist his help to shift a few plans around. That is, if he doesn’t mind.”
Taeven placed a hand on Dorian’s shoulder and squeezed. “Of course not. I’m all yours.”
“Oooo, yes! I want to meet Bull and Sera and all the people you’ve told me about! Please?” Dalish clasped his hands in front of him and put on his best pout.
Kestrel rolled his eyes at the obvious manipulation, but still grinned. “Twist my arm!” Standing up, he took Dalish’s hand in his. He knew this is exactly what Dorian wanted, to get him out of the room, but facing the Inquisition group didn’t seem as daunting with Dalish by his side.
***
Before Kestrel knew where the other days went, the day was upon them.
As was the custom, Dorian and Kestrel separated for the evening. Kestrel spent the night catching up with Dalish, listening to the tales of his first several weeks at the Circle, too anxious himself to think about sleep. Even when the boy tired and fell asleep with his head in Kestrel’s lap, his mind spun with what was to come. He ran his hand through Dalish’s hair to soothe himself.
At some point deep into the early hours of the morning, Kestrel must’ve fallen asleep for when he woke, Dalish was gone and morning light angled through the east-facing windows. He sat up when he thought he heard Dorian’s joyful laugh down the hallway, but it soon faded.
Taeven had been quite insistent that they remain apart for the night and day leading up to the ceremony, so their reunion was as special as it should be. Still, was he just supposed to wait in the tower room all day?
Growing restless, Kestrel hopped out of bed and started pacing. He had no idea what he was supposed to wear today. Each step raised his anxiety level until he was looking at the bedroom door like it was his only escape route. What if he tried the handle and it was locked like the Pavus Manor? What if his prison had only changed designs?
With a panicked whimper, he ran down the flight of stairs to the door. Just as his fingertips brushed the handle, the door swung open to reveal a happy and then suddenly startled Taeven, not expecting him to be right there.
As soon as his eyes met Kestrel’s, he must’ve seen the panic there for he quickly said, “Aneth ara. It’s okay. Calm, Kes. Breathe.” Although his hands were full of clothes, he quickly slung them over his shoulder to take Kestrel’s shoulders in hand. “What troubles you?”
His mind went to one person. “Is Dorian okay?”
“A bit nervous, as you appear to be, and grumbling about a sleepless night. Something about sharing a room with a snoring bull?” Taeven shook his head like he didn’t understand.
“And Dalish?”
“Your boy is fine, Kestrel. Last I saw, he was following your blonde-haired elf friend around.”
Kestrel winced. Hopefully, he didn’t get into too much trouble with Sera. At least, Dalish had hit it off with everyone the other night, and his presence had the added bonus of redirecting most of the attention away from Kestrel.
“Is there something else that’s worrying you? Your friends certainly seem happy to see you again,” Taeven said as he led Kestrel back up the stairs.
Yes, that was true. And no one had pressed him for details on what he’d been up to over the last few years, yet he had a sneaking suspicion by the pitying glances he sometimes caught, Dorian had told them some of what had happened. Despite that, he’d quickly reform the neglected bonds with Varric, Bull, and the rest of the gang over the last few evenings. Vivienne and Solas were the only two of the old Inquisition companions that were unable to attend. Vivienne had a prior engagement, and Solas, well…
Kestrel realized Taeven was staring at him, likely waiting for a response. He tried to give a voice to the anxiety he was feeling. “I’ve just waited for this day for so long. So long, I’d come to believe it would never happen. Now that it’s here, I’m waiting for something to stop it.”
“Kes, I want you to leave the worrying to me, okay? You’re in a safe place, surrounded by people who love you and who support you. Nothing will go wrong, and even if there is a minor hiccup, we have plenty of hands available to help out. Now, I’m having a bath and food brought up, and you’re to take as long as you’d like to relax. After that, I will return to help you get dressed. I think you’ll like the outfit Dorian had made,” Taeven said, gesturing to the clothes he’d laid out on the bed.
“And Dorian…?”
Taeven smiled. “You’ll see him soon enough. I promise.”
***
The rest of the day passed slowly and quickly. At one point Kestrel dozed in the tub and lost and hour, while after he dressed in the outfit Dorian picked for him, he waited for what felt like ages for Taeven to arrive.
He’d already paced on to the balcony, leaving the door open for the sun-warmed air to freshen his room. There was lots of noise around the Keep, happy noises, but he was too far up to spot any details. If the amount of people running around down below was any indication, Kestrel was concerned his request for a smaller ceremony had been ignored.
He took the crawling time to examine himself in the mirror. Dorian had managed to find him a traditional Dalish robe of leather dyed a beautiful ocean blue. Underneath the robe, an earthy brown set of cloth pants and tunic ensured he wouldn’t overheat, even with woven leather shin guards, a bracer, and a matching belt. Fortunately, there were no shoes to go along with the outfit, leaving Kestrel’s feet blessedly bare.
A golden collar and pendant with the same leaf design from his wedding band sat to the side. The jewelry would have to wait until he had some help, he decided. As if summoned from his thoughts, a soft knock heralded Taeven’s return.
As he cleared the stairs and caught sight of Kestrel, he froze, hand lifted to his lips to hold back a small gasp. “It’s beautiful,” he murmured. “You’re beautiful,” he quickly corrected. Tears collected in his eyes. “Dorian is going to be dumbstruck when he sees you, Kes.”
Kestrel flushed furiously under the praise. “You think so?”
Taeven nodded his head. He glided to Kestrel’s side, picking up the golden collar to secure it around Kestrel’s neck.
“How did he even know what was traditional Dalish garb for a bonding ceremony?”
Taeven grinned. “I may have had a part to play in that. Despite having to pull away from your people for their protection, I know you still honor their customs.”
The collar latched into place, and Kestrel was surprised it didn’t surface unpleasant memories. Still, he thought the decoration was odd and couldn’t hold back a question. “What about the collar? That’s definitely not Dalish.”
“It’s a Tevinter custom. Both parties wear a collar to signify their unwavering loyalty and servitude to one another in marriage.” Taeven draped the necklace around Kestrel’s neck as he spoke.
“And the pendant?” Kestrel asked, holding it up to get a better look. Two snakes entwined around each other, framing a large emerald.
“A wedding present from Dorian. You know how he loves his snake motifs.”
Kestrel smiled.
Taeven stepped back, tears fresh in his eyes again. “Well, my boy, are you ready?”
The setting sun cast a warm glow over the courtyard. Despite the chill always present in the mountains, a jungle of plants flourished under the tender touch of the resident gardener. Flowers of all hues tilted towards the fading light, filling the air with a delicate, familiar fragrance. A breeze rustled the plants and stirred the stillness, releasing a gentle tinkling that Kestrel immediately recognized.
Crystal grace draped the outer stone walls of the gazebo, their pale blue bells enchanted into a harder shell that chimed with each movement. Dorian had once presented him a bouquet similarly enchanted, and Kestrel had fallen in love with the delicate bloom. Leave it to Dorian and his steel-trap mind to never forget a detail like that.
Under the gazebo stood a sight that dwarfed all others in beauty. More wonderful than the friends gathered to witness the ceremony, more magical than the dim sunlight glimmering off the crystal flowers, and more stunning than the fact that Kestrel would be a married man in the next hour. The sight of Dorian waiting for him with a glorious grin on his face stole Kestrel’s breath away, freezing him under the overhang to the main keep.
The typical black and gold hugged Dorian’s form, but his outfit lacked the dramatism he normally wore in Tevinter. A dark robe with golden borders was tied close by a wide cloth belt embellished with embroidered peacock feathers. Golden bracers taped down billowing sleeves around his wrists, and a metal collar that matched Kestrel’s completed the look. In that moment, Kestrel desired nothing more than to sprint Dorian up to their room and slowly peel off each garment to reveal Dorian’s true beauty beneath.
“Kestrel?”
Summoned from his dirty thoughts by Dalish’s soft prompt, Kestrel flushed, shifting his gaze to the boy before him.
Dalish offered a bouquet of unenchanted crystal grace. “Dorian said they were your favorite,” he said. “They don’t like the cold, but with the gardener’s help, I managed to keep them alive for today.”
The sky-colored flowers were still as perky as if they had just been picked. The magenta stamens swayed as Kestrel took them in hand and brought them to his nose. He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes, letting the fragrance take him back to a time before all of his trauma. He gathered his strength from back then, his bearing, his easy laughter, his naivety, and coiled them around him like an invisible shield. He could do this.
Opening his eyes, he smiled at Dalish and said, “Thank you. They’re beautiful.”
The smile he received back pumped more fuel into his strength. On a whim, Kestrel asked, “Mind walking me down the aisle, Dalish?”
“Yes! I mean, no! I mean…I would love to!” Dalish struggled to answer, but his even wider grin spoke volumes. He quickly grabbed Kestrel’s arm, linking them together. “Are you ready?”
Kestrel looked past their friends, down to the gazebo, to the man patiently waiting for him. “Yes,” he said simply.
Chest puffed with pride, Dalish began marching them down the stone path of the courtyard, following its meandering trail.
“It’s about time,” said Sera.
Right after, Bull yelled, “Made us wait forever, Boss!”
“Still, makes for an excellent tale,” said Varric.
Several people snickered in response.
Kestrel grinned, but his eyes were firmly rooted on Dorian growing ever closer.
Dorian tracked him along their path, steady gray gaze holding everything Kestrel needed to see. There was no judgment to be found, only reassurance, acceptance, forgiveness, and love. They could have ended the ceremony right there, and Kestrel would have had all that he needed, all that he longed for in his life.
As soon as Dalish passed him over to Dorian and their hands touched, the ceremony breezed by. It wasn’t important, only the way Dorian looked at him was. Kestrel remembered Divine Victoria leading the ceremony and rambling on his half of their shared vows, but he lost himself in the soothing gray of Dorian’s tearful eyes, in how warm his hands were when they exchanged rings, in the sound of is voice choked with barely restrained emotion. And then his lips were on him, celebrating with joyous tears christening the kiss.
Kestrel threw his arm around Dorian’s shoulders, bouquet still in hand, and kissed Dorian with every ounce of love he had. They were married. Nothing would keep them apart now. Not life, or death.
