Jaskier relaxes back into the pillow, looking at his companion next to him. He admires Marek’s hair against the sheets and the rise and fall of his chest, still fast from their exertions earlier.
Marek’s hair looks almost white in the moonlight, and Jaskier pushes thoughts of Geralt from his head. He really needs to stop thinking about Geralt in conjunction with sex. Never mind the fact that Marek’s calloused hands felt exactly the same way Jaskier’s imagined Geralt’s would feel on his body.
Marek rolls over to face him, catching Jaskier’s eye and jerking him from his thoughts. “Thank you,” he says earnestly.
A small blush starts to heat Jaskier’s face. “What for?”
“I’ve never done that before. It was…nice.”
“Just nice, hmm?”
Marek laughs, and Jaskier likes the way it sounds. Not as good as coaxing out a hard earned chuckle from Geralt, but close. He wonders what Geralt’s occupying himself with this evening, anyway. Geralt had told him as he left their shared room not to get into trouble, and Jaskier would say he’s doing a pretty excellent job of that, if he says so himself. Keeping himself busy, indeed.
Geralt had accepted a rotfiend contract that would keep him occupied for the night. What else was Jaskier supposed to do? It wasn’t Jaskier’s fault that the contract issuer’s son was so handsome, so after Geralt left, Jaskier set himself to wooing Marek.
Jaskier’s attention is jerked back to Marek as he stretches and amends, “Great. Amazing, maybe.”
“That’s more like it.” A smug grin flashes over Jaskier’s face. Another satisfied partner, even if this one didn’t have much to compare it to.
Jaskier eyes Marek contemplatively, considering suggesting another round. If this was his first time, it would only be the gentlemanly thing to do to let him continue to draw from Jaskier’s vast experiences.
The post sex haze flies from Jaskier’s head as he hears a loud voice on the other side of the door. The door knob rattles, and Marek jumps out of bed, searching frantically for his clothes. Jaskier tries not to sigh in dismay, but Marek has a look of terror painted across his face, so apparently he’s not as used to the being angrily chased from bed part as Jaskier is.
Why does this always happen to him?
The feeble lock gives out as a man bursts into the room. “Hey! What are you doing with my son?”
Jaskier internally curses as his mind races, trying to think how to get himself out of the scrape this time. Geralt’s going to give him the even-more-silent treatment for at least two weeks if he loses out on his contract pay because of this.
“It’s not what it looks like?” he tries feebly.
-
another train fic! tune back in tomorrow for the next installment, which will be linked here!
part two | a witcher fic collaboration
part three | a witcher fic collaboration
In times like these, Jaskier cannot help what words will spill out of him. Well, truthfully, it’s almost always difficult to predict what, exactly, he’s going to say. But this time, he truly has no power in what comes out of his mouth.
He hopes it’s creative enough to be memorable, as well as simple enough so the fucking bigoted toadwill understand just how much trouble he’s in. Oh, the ballad that will be written. Jaskier will ensure that it will be even more catchy than the Fishmonger’s Daughter.
“Henceforth! No witchers will deem their time worthy to slay anymonsters around these parts, for they will be well informed about the absolutely ludicrous nature of the feckless half-wit who– Geralt?!”
Pushing Marek’s tomato faced father out of the way is Geralt, looking nonplussed about everything that’s happening. He just marches his little witcher boots all the way up to Jaskier, bends at the knee, and throws Jaskier over his shoulder.
“Whathappenedback there?” Geralt growls. He sets Jaskier on his feet, stabilizing him with a hand to his shoulder when he wobbles on his single-booted foot.
From Jaskier’s state of undress, Geralt can guess what he had been doing before the shouting started, and from the other half-dressed man running around in the alderman’s house, chasing a sobbing woman, Geralt also has an idea as to who Jaskier had been doing it with.
A resigned sort of jealousy settles in Geralt’s stomach.
It would be easy to continue the argument, but with a soft sigh, Jaskier lets it go… for now. He hates being left behind, especially like this. It’s not as if Geralt is about to embark on a dangerous hunt that could end with Jaskier losing his life. No, this is just the witcher cleaning up his mess and it isn’t fair on either of them. Jaskier prides himself on being eloquent, a wordsmith, a charmer to the very highest degree, and yet it is so often Geralt picking up the pieces after he loses his temper.
Not this time, Jaskier vows silently as Geralt leads Roach further off the path to a more suitable camping spot.
He wakes an hour or so after he falls asleep, unsure exactly what roused him. He goes for his sword, sheathed at his side as always, because when a witcher wakes in the night it’s almost always for a good reason. The edge of the forest is silent, the little clearing they’d created hushed and heavy with darkness. The brush rustles faintly with the nocturnal movements of small creatures, going about their nightly routines. A cricket hums off to his left, but falls quiet as Geralt sits up.
You were born of a sacrilegious union. Your green dragon mom never figured the knight she seduced while masquerading as a noblewoman was a silver dragon in disguise. You’d no idea either, born a human orphan. When your dragon blood awoke, so did the dangers which all your heritage entails.
Remember if you’re out at a store and someone says “This is a robbery” you can say “no it’s not” and then the robber will leave because theyre a robber and this is no longer a robbery .
You can not just say this without dropping the whole story
Ok so,
My dads coworker is at the front and this man comes Up and hands him a document.
The coworker took a Look at the document and while he couldn’t read the things written by Hand, because he wasn’t wearing his glases, he did notice the Logo of a different Bank so he’s like:
“Oh, sorry sir you can’t do that here! You have to go to the other Bank for this :)”
The man, visibly confused leaves, but dosen’t take the document with him.
The coworker, now just as confused as the Guy actually Takes Out his glases and reads the hand written part:
This is a robbery
Can you imagine trying to rob a god damn bank and the teller just cheerfully tells you to go rob the competition instead
I worked as a bank teller for several years and a few things you should know, bank robberies happen far more frequently than you might think and they come in waves. When a bank gets robbed a notification with photos goes to all banks in the area to be on the lookout. And there are two kinds of robbery, the pass the note and the takeover (what you see in movies).
So our branch had had a big takeover robbery as well as a note one. We also had a teller that had transferred to our branch after having been through a robbery. She was sweet as apple pie, hair up to the ceiling, southern lady who had just been through multiple robberies.
A guy comes in and hands her a folded note. Her immediate thought was “this guy needs to learn you don’t hand bank tellers notes. I am just not going to read that.” So how the conversation goes:
Her: how can I help you today?
Him: I’m here to get money
Her: great *hands him a withdrawal slip*
Him: all the information is on the paper
Her: to process the transaction I need you to put it on my piece of paper
SO HE FILLS OUT A WITHDRAWAL SLIP. Meanwhile another coworker is looking at her latest robbery notification email thinking the guy at the window looks a lot like him but the teller is calm and seems to be following standard transaction.
Back at the window the teller notices his name on the withdrawal slip doesn’t match the name on the account so she asks for his ID. He once again tells her all the relevant info is on the folded note but also gives her his ID and says it is his dad’s account. She tells him he will need a check from his dad to get cash. He grabs the note and leaves.
ONE HOUR LATER
Two new robbery notifications hit our emails, both branches within a mile. It is our guy. Teller goes over to the manager and sheepishly informs them he was here and the time. Security department is notified as are local police and the FBI. The FBI comes over believing that these poor tellers had been robbed for the 3rd time in a month and take her statement. She is completely embarrassed telling them how everything went down and he kept signaling to the note and telling her to read it but she was just done.
To which this FBI agent of 40 years who has been to the scene of many bank robberies (several at this branch in recent weeks) says: Ok. Let me see if I got this right, he came in fully intending to rob you. He gave you the note and you just…refused to read it? So he left and went to the bank literally across the street, handed them the exact same note, and they just handed him five grand? Do I have that correct?”
Her: I am so embarrassed
FBI: this is best thing I have ever heard. He even handed you his ID! Holy-
Her: I feel so dumb!
FBI: don’t! This is the best thing I have ever heard. This is going to be in training courses. (He sat there giddy for at least 5 more minutes)
