Imagine if you will a complete inversion of a boorish American on St. Patrick’s Day. Imagine an Irishman who aggressively celebrates the Fourth of July with unabashed gusto, who desperately tries to claim the significance of some alleged 1/32 American heritage, who wears a shirt with an eagle turning into an American flag and who drinks a specialty red, white, and blue novelty beverage until he collapses in a pool of tricolor vomit. Imagine some guy so invested in a superficial, touristy version of Americaness that he will nervously call the side with his $20 “authentic” hamburger “freedom fries” out of fear of offending. Imagine a guy who upon meeting any American will try to strike up a friendly conversation by asking them what their favorite gun is and talking about how personally inspiring he finds Abraham Lincoln.
You must understand, as you prepare to read the May 24th entry of this novel, that this Irishman is Bram Stoker.
Tumblr gifmakers are better than $1mil worth of marketing. I’ll see endless ads for a show and be like meh but I’ll see one good gifset and suddenly I’m on s2 ep10 finding blorbo from my gifs
i cannot emphasize enough how important it is to have gossipy bitchy littl pirvate group chats or discord servers with like 4 people in them whose stated purpose is posting “new kind of guy” or “this reddit post is so fuckin dumb” or “i got into a fight on twitter today look at this idiot’s reply” so your homies can still see it and laugh and back you up but more importantly, so you are not tempted to post these kind of things on main
guys, we’re not talking enough about wine mom harry styles. he’s got his beaded wineglass charms for when he breaks out the nice stemware, but his stemless glass with “wine o'clock” painted on it will do for everyday. feels fancy when he pairs a bottle of chianti with frozen lasagna. always buys a case at the tasting room so he gets the 10 percent discount. has a to-go mug that says “mommy juice” to take to soccer games. rubs his napkin over his teeth so he won’t get red wine stains. the apron he wears when he’s browning chicken breasts in the instapot says “roses are fine but mama needs wine.”
the most chaotic experience of watching television is seeing the andi mack finale for the first time and thinking they are gonna sing the theme song but then freaking thelonious jagger just starts playing BORN THIS WAY on the piano
High schoolers: ugh that person is weird because they have some minor superficial differences from the rest of us what a freak
College students: I saw a dude with green hair riding a unicycle around campus I would literally kill to be that cool
For one semester in undergrad I sometimes saw a woman in a yellow hijab riding around on her skateboard while wearing a pikachu onesie and I pray every day that she is living her best life.
What if we had a scene where Kirk just got out of the shower and he’s in his cabin when Spock walks in and he tries to talk to him ❤️but he gets too flustered and the whole time Kirk is smirking at him tits out and homoerotically small towel around neck
-Graduated in the top 4% of his year -was bullied by jocks -Is a history nerd -was so much of a teacher’s pet that he cheated on an exam and was commended for it -Was referred to as “a stack of books with legs”
Jean-Luc Picard:
-Spent all his free time drinking in pubs and playing billiards -broke more hearts than he can remember -started a bar fight that ended up in him being stabbed in the heart -likes to explore dangerous ruins of ancient civilizations for fun -wouldn’t even have become a starship captain if he wasn’t this much of a hothead
And yet people still manage to get it backwards???
I think it’s a problem of First Officer, really.
Jim Kirk seems like a wild man because he’s standing next to calm, logical Spock.*
Meanwhile, Picard seems stately and dignified because he’s standing next to Will “Any alien physiology is bangable if you just put some thought into it” Riker*.
* Of course THEN, we get to the next layer, which is that Spock is the dude who told the Vulcan Science Academy to fuck itself, while Riker plays the trombone.
The Federation is a confusing place.
It’s definitely also a casting thing, to be fair. Shatner got a SCRIPT that said “play a giant gay nerd” but he played him like a jock fuckboy, and Stewart’s script said “play a jock fuckboy” and he played him like a giant gay nerd. Both of these were inspired decisions and I love them for making them.
It’s age, too. We see Picard after he’s grown out of his nonsense. In the first episode, he has a talk with Riker like, “Hey, just so you know? I hired you because you got written up for calling out your last captain when he was being a dumbass. I consider calling me out when I’m being a dumbass to be an important part of your job.”
Meanwhile, Kirk is young and apparently hot (if you’re into that sort of thing) and all the alien ladies, through no fault of his own, want to bang him 100% of the time–this isn’t a thing he does on purpose and indeed is something he’s often horrified and baffled by.
I personally like that every Starfleet Officer ever seen has ‘Shenanigans’ as one layer of their personality, all that varies is how far down it is and what prompts it.
while looking up 1950s slang, i found the phrase “come on snake, let’s rattle,” which has 2 meanings: asking someone to dance, and challenging someone to a fight
and. hhhooooooooo boy does that fact have some Potential
Invite your crush to the dance floor, but instead they just fuckin deck you
Oh come on, this is Tumblr. We all know that what happens is you challenge your enemy to a fight but they start making out with you, and then you find you’re strangely into it
what I absorbed out of my readthrough of the Silm can be counted in a sentence, really
“In the beginning, Feanor swore an Oath to retrieve the Silmarils. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.”
