Contents:PTSD, past noncon, past noncon of a minor, flashback, past use of gendered slurs, past BDSM relationship (not including whumpee), fluff, trauma recovery, fucky thoughts about family, chronic pain, brief epistolary storytelling, Tori/Vera, Edrissa/Sam, thoughts about death
~
When Edrissa woke, there was someone else in the bed with her. The blankets were warm, and the bed was soft, and she could feel Sir’s slow, even breaths on the back of her neck. She suppressed a shudder and clenched her teeth. She could feel the scream building in her chest, the tears burning in her eyes – but if she kept silent, if she slid out of bed quietly and snuck in her bare feet to the door, she might be able to open it, slide through, and find someplace to keep busy for the rest of the day. She wouldn’t be hiding, she was always beaten for hiding, but if she could just find a way to avoid the clutching hands and silky, saccharine smile of her owner…
Sometimes I think about a young Isaac who threw himself on the mercy of Gray and their team when they first met. I think about how lucky it is that the team was kind and eventually became Isaac’s family.
Because it could have been so much worse. If the team was willing to abuse him, Isaac would have withstood it. He would have withstood isolation, beatings, punishment, as long as he was thrown a little scrap of love from time to time
But perhaps even worse, he would have been willing to become a monster for them. He failed his last team because he could not kill. That was never going to stop him again. He would have killed anyone he was aimed at, and he would have done it without mercy. Rumors would spread of a ghost in the shadows, one who slaughtered syndicate and civilian alike, anyone who the team saw as a threat or an annoyance. Isaac would have hated himself, would have punished himself, but he would have done it.
Perhaps eventually he would have escaped.
I’m so, so grateful Gray and the others turned out to be good
god the thought of Isaac killing for scraps of affection
Oh my god Isaac would be so grateful if they were kind to him after this tall, strong man shaking and whimpering but holding still, and Sam holding him after and praising him oh no
