#why u reject me

I absolutely despise this sort of reaction.  When someone rejects you, they’ve rejected you.  Trying to change their minds, especially with a stranger in an online interaction like this, is just obnoxious.  

I don’t think I’ve ever had a good interaction with someone when they’ve asked me to explain further why I’m not interested.  What they want is a chance to try to talk me out of my decision, or convince me my reasons aren’t good enough.  I was willing to give him some examples, until he did the whole “Oh, you didn’t really reject me. I can totally change your mind, even though you’ve been very clear.”  Also, calling me “dear?”  I hate when strangers call me by pet names like that, especially people on dating sites.  I’m not your fucking “baby” or “dear” or “doll” or anything.  It’s creepy to call me those things.

And that last message?  Making it seem like I’m being unreasonable by not giving him all my reasons for rejecting him, after basically admitting he was trying to “negotiate” with me to get me to change my mind?  Definitely seems like he was trying to manipulate me into a response.

It’s reactions to rejection like this that cause women not to respond to people when they aren’t interested. It’s not worth the argument.  And this wasn’t even the most unpleasant of reactions I’ve gotten to a polite and kind rejection.

For the record, some of the questions I was talking about were big red flags, even for friendship, like thinking women are obligated to shave their legs, not accepting my answer of “Yes, and I enjoyed myself.” to the question about having had a same-sex sexual experience, and saying he wouldn’t ever change a diaper.