#wiliam dodds

Pairing: Rafael Barba x Reader

Summary: Barba realizes maybe getting under someone isn’t the way to get over someone else.

TAG LIST: https://onelovesr.tumblr.com/

Everyone says heartache takes months, even years to get over, sometimes never. Some say to get over someone you have to get under someone else.

It had been two months since you and Rafael had called it quits, it was gut wrenching to throw away almost three years of a relationship, but it had to be done. Deep down, you knew when you both took your anger out on each other, spent more time wrapped up in a blanket than in each others arms, the quiet breakfast together and the blank stares at the office weren’t personal. When you and Raf broke up, you both admitted what had went wrong and that maybe it was best to lay things to rest for a bit, maybe a few days or weeks or maybe forever.

You knew it was forever when a young, blonde, short skirt and high heels popped into SVU with Rafael. Of course everyman in the unit was drooling over this girl.

“And who is this Barba?” He smirked, and introduced her as Lillian Gomez, his new assistant of course he had to check to make sure you were paying attention to the scene. You just looked straight ahead at your computer, trying your best to focus on the work you had. Something in you just wanted to rip Barba apart, how could he? Three years and now he comes in drooling over his assistant for you to see? How cold is that?

Weeks had passed, you were slowly dying on the inside. Why did his assistant have to be everywhere? You sat in the courtroom ready to get this hearing over with and praying that this perp would be behind bars. Carisi made his way over to you.

“Hey! How are ya?” You looked at him, arms crossed and rolled your eyes.

“Sonny, I’m ready to flip my fuckin’ lid! Why does he have to bring here everywhere? I mean everywhere! I’m surprised when I go to the restroom she’s not fuckin standing there behind me!” You whispered, Sonny laughed.

“I know your hurt,” He put his arm around you, “Have you talked to him? At all?”

“Nope. He hasn’t talked to me.” Sonny rolled his eyes.

“Look you can’t be that way, what are ya in highschool?” You scoffed.

“No! Why would I beg him to talk to me?” Sonny rolled his eyes, once again. You looked up to see a harsh, cold stare from Barba. Once he noticed you he turned to take his seat.

“Did you see that? He just cut through me using his eyes.” Sonny laughed and grabbed your hand.

“Look, you can do one of two things. One, tell Barba how you feel! You guys broke up cause what? Work, stress all that good stuff? Okay, talk to each other like adults. Two, keep watching him with that random lady and probably a lot more random ladies and suffer.” He paused, looking like he was trying to think of something to add. “Oh! You do have a third option, get under someone!” You slapped him lightly, you chuckled but quickly became serious when the judge stepped in. 

The trial finally ended at 6:42PM. Guilty on all charges, 25 to life, no chance of parole. This was a tough case for SVU, and Barba. Fin of course had the idea of going out for drinks at the local bar. You sighed, getting ready to walk away but you were stopped by Sonny.

“Where are you going?” 

“Home.” You smiled, getting ready to turn again.

“No, you are going to come to this bar. You were a big part of why this sick bastard got convicted.” You smiled and blushed.

“Well, you do have a point. I’ll go on one condition. Don’t let me do anything stupid. Like don’t let me get drunk.” Sonny threw a thumbs up.

“I’m your guy! I got your back and you know it!” 

Well, after six shots Sonny should watch no one. He half way lived up to his promise, but you were on your third drink so who knows? You may catch up with him in a bit. You sighed deeply, checking the time on your cell phone, no texts, no calls, go figure. Rollins came over to you as you slowly stirred your drink, occasionally looking up to see Barba and Lillian. Rollins scooted close to you.

“You know, I can baby sit Carisi if you want to bounce.” You turned your head quickly.

“How do y-” She smiled, taking a sip of beer and then cut you off.

“I had to do the same thing you are once, Nick Amaro. I had to watch him drool over his ex wife, wife, baby mama whatever you wanna call her. Sucked the life out of me, it was a real low blow, especially when he knew how I felt. I can understand you not wanting to see that.” You looked back to Barba, his hand on Lillians leg. Amanda was right, you couldn’t take that. You thanked her and paid for your drinks. You darted out of the bar, past Barba and Lillian, slamming the door shut. You sat down on the hard sidewalk and decided you needed a cigarette. You lit up and leaned your head back onto the brick wall. No sooner than you did this, you heard the bar door open. You couldn’t bring yourself to look, you didn’t want eye contact with anyone from work now. 

“Really? When did you start smoking again?” You heard Rafael say. You turned your head, blowing the smoke near him.

“When did you start to give a fuck? Mhm. Finally get your hands and mouth free for a minute instead of all over that woman!” You shouted, pissed off, hurt, all of it would be out tonight. You threw the butt on the ground and stomped on it to make sure it was out.

“You know what? I don’t give a shit. Go, go be with her! I can’t even think about another man, but you’re out here able to stick your tongue down the first girls throat! Did you really care? Did you really hurt when we broke up, or was that some kind of act?” Barba walked closer to you, grabbing your hands and holding them tightly.

“I can’t listen to her talk without hearing your voice.” He whispered. You felt less tense.

“What?” You asked, hot tears flowing down your cheeks from anger.

“I can’t listen to her without hearing your voice. You’re all I think about, even when I’m with her, I think of you. I want you, I was happy with you. Right now I’m just here. With you I was living.” He grabbed you and embraced you tightly.

“I love you (Y/F/N). I want you back, I want us.” You smiled into his shoulder, trying not to cry on his suit.

“I love you Raf.” He kissed you softly on the lips.

“So, you’re my girlfriend again?” 

“Not that easy, you have to take me to my favorite restaurant, then we’ll talk.” He smirked, grabbing your hand tightly.

“Well what are we waiting for?”