#will probably do a blog post on this later

This week is a weird one. A big one? Maybe.

I have a real bad habit of falling for people who aren’t good for me. I enthusiastically put energy into people I care about, but I haven’t been very good at discerning who is worthy of my heart. So, I often find myself hurt and confused… struggling to remember that I’m worthy of love.

But, I keep trying. I’m never going to find my person unless I’m willing to continue to open my heart to the possibilities - and the risk.

I’ve talked a bit about the new man I’m seeing, but I’ve been intentionally vague and brief. I’ve given him a lot of power to hurt me, and I’m scared. But that’s vulnerability, isn’t it?

If I find myself heartbroken, I don’t want to have to admit to the world that I fucked up again. But, I’ve always been brutally honest about my love life on this blog. I’ve written about the amazing ups, the insane downs, the ghostings, the excitement, and the sex. So much sex. Through it all, I’m grateful that I had this space for reflection.

So, here’s the latest update from my heart.

I met the new man via tumblr. (I don’t listen to my own advice.) We are finally meeting, in person, this weekend. My anxiety is off the charts. I am terrified. Please be patient with me as we move through the week. I will be moody, stressed, and a mess.

But I’m hopeful. So hopeful.