Rooster eases himself out of bed as quietly as possible. It is still pitch-black outside, so he does his best to navigate through the dimly lit room without running into anything. Once he makes it to the bathroom door, he slips inside and flips on the light.
He starts stripping down and is just about to step into the shower when his phone buzzes. Glancing at it, he curses under his breath. Another schedule change means there’s no time for a shower before he has to leave. So, he quickly pulls on his uniform and runs his comb through his sleep-tousled hair.
As he stares into the mirror, the man gazing back at him seems so much calmer and more composed than he feels inside. It is an ability he has mastered after years of practice. Because he knows he can’t walk out of this room with the terror and anxiety he is feeling about this mission etched on his face. He would never do that to you.
As he opens the door, he catches sight of the bed as it is bathed in the glow from the bathroom light. You are laying on your stomach, hair splayed across your pillow and over part of your face. One arm is stretched out onto his side of the bed, fingers clutching at the sheets as even in sleep you are searching for him.
Walking over to your side of the bed, he leans over and places a gentle kiss on your temple causing you to stir softly. Without opening your eyes, you mumble, “Mmm. What time is it?”
Rooster brushes the hair off your face as he whispers, “It’s only 4:30. Go back to sleep, baby.”
You nod slightly and roll onto your back. The movement causes your thin nightshirt to ride up, revealing the slight bump of your stomach. At only three months along, most people would probably not notice the slight swell in your midsection, but to Rooster, who knows your body inside and out, it stands out immediately. He knows that it is his child in there, a child that if things went wrong on the mission, he would never get to meet.
Rooster eases himself out of bed as quietly as possible. It is still pitch-black outside, so he does his best to navigate through the dimly lit room without running into anything. Once he makes it to the bathroom door, he slips inside and flips on the light.
He starts stripping down and is just about to step into the shower when his phone buzzes. Glancing at it, he curses under his breath. Another schedule change means there’s no time for a shower before he has to leave. So, he quickly pulls on his uniform and runs his comb through his sleep-tousled hair.
As he stares into the mirror, the man gazing back at him seems so much calmer and more composed than he feels inside. It is an ability he has mastered after years of practice. Because he knows he can’t walk out of this room with the terror and anxiety he is feeling about this mission etched on his face. He would never do that to you.
As he opens the door, he catches sight of the bed as it is bathed in the glow from the bathroom light. You are laying on your stomach, hair splayed across your pillow and over part of your face. One arm is stretched out onto his side of the bed, fingers clutching at the sheets as even in sleep you are searching for him.
Walking over to your side of the bed, he leans over and places a gentle kiss on your temple causing you to stir softly. Without opening your eyes, you mumble, “Mmm. What time is it?”
Rooster brushes the hair off your face as he whispers, “It’s only 4:30. Go back to sleep, baby.”
You nod slightly and roll onto your back. The movement causes your thin nightshirt to ride up, revealing the slight bump of your stomach. At only three months along, most people would probably not notice the slight swell in your midsection, but to Rooster, who knows your body inside and out, it stands out immediately. He knows that it is his child in there, a child that if things went wrong on the mission, he would never get to meet.
He had always been unsure about having kids. Knowing the dangers associated with his job, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to risk leaving a kid without a father like he was. Yet, the moment you had called and told him, all the doubts, all the fears instantly melted away and he was left wondering how he could have ever imagined his life without a child of his own. One that he created with you.
The two of you had been high school sweethearts, married right after graduation, and you had been with him through every major moment in his life and there was no one else he could picture having by his side for this one. However, this mission he was leaving for is more dangerous than anything he had ever flown before. And there was a good chance he wouldn’t be making it back.
Rooster thinks about his confrontation with Maverick just after Phoenix and Bob’s accident. He had thrown it in the older man’s face that Maverick didn’t have a wife or child to mourn him if something happened to him. And as much as he was referring to his dad’s death at that moment, in his head, he also meant it as what would happen to you and the baby if he didn’t come back from this mission. At least he still has photos and vague, fuzzy memories of time with his dad. But if Rooster was killed tomorrow, his child wouldn’t even have that.
That realization brings Rooster to his knees beside the bed. The idea that his child would never get to hear his voice, see his smile, feel his love….. Somehow this possibility had never crossed his mind until now. Slowly, he climbs onto the bed and rests one hand on your stomach, spreading his large fingers across your bare skin. He rests it there for a minute, silently trying to express all the things he wanted his child to know, especially how much he loved him or her.
Bending down, he lightly brushes his lips across the tender skin of your stomach, causing you to giggle softly. Lazily, you push at his head as you playfully whine, “Bradley, stop! Your mustache is tickling me and I’m trying to sleep.”
“Sorry about that. Is this better?” He slides up your body until he is able to press his lips against yours.
You hum softly against his mouth. “Yes, much better.”
He deepens the kiss, knowing he doesn’t have time but also knowing that just like his child, he needs you to know how much he loves you.
After a moment, you grab his arm and try to drag him further into the bed, but he reluctantly resists as he pries himself from your grasp and sits up. Seeing how his loving expression has slipped into something more somber, you sit up, suddenly awake. “What’s wrong?”
Rooster sighed. “Phoenix just texted me. They moved up our check-in time. She’s on her way right now to pick me up.”
The sorrow on your face shatters Rooster’s heart. “But… we were supposed to have the whole morning! I got those cinnamon rolls you like from the bakery for your farewell breakfast!”
He cups your face as you lean into his touch. “I know. I’m sorry, baby. But I have to go. Phoenix will be here any minute to pick me up.”
He runs his other hand gently across your stomach and you sigh. “You didn’t tell them, did you? Any of them, not even Phoenix.”
Rooster shakes his head. “If I did, they’d have found some excuse to not let me go.”
“And that’s such a bad thing?” you ask with a doleful scoff.
“Baby, you know I have to do this. It’s my job and I’m one of the only people who can do it.”
You tilt your head so it leans further into his caress. “I know. That’s why I’m not asking you not to go. I’m just asking you to come back.” You place one hand softly on your stomach. “I can’t do this alone. We need you.”
Rooster chuckles. “No, you don’t. Not really. You’re going to be an amazing mother, with or without me.”
“Oh, I know I’m going to be amazing. Don’t worry about that,” you tease before becoming more serious once again. “But don’t make me prove I can do this alone. That wasn’t a challenge. I need us to do this together.”
“I’m going to try my absolute best……. but I want you to keep this.” Rooster slips off his wedding ring and holds it out to you.
You stare at it in horror, tears springing to your eyes. “No, Bradley, no. I know what that means and I’m not taking that.”
He moves his hand closer to you, urging you to take it. “If something goes wrong, they may not be able to get it back to you and I want you to have it. Please.”
You began to shake your head forcefully. “Don’t ask me to keep that. You’ve never asked me to keep it before. You’re going to come home, and you’ll be wearing it when you do.”
“Baby, it was my dad’s, and if something goes wrong….. I want our kid to have it. I want you to be able to give it to them one day.”
Your lip begins to tremble as you stare at the ring. Then slowly, you reach out and take it from him. “Don’t you dare make me do that, Bradley Bradshaw. Don’t you dare…. This is going back on your finger in a few days, then it’s never coming off again. Do you hear me?”
He nods before gathering you into his arms. You cling tightly to him and bury your face into his chest as he leans over and rests his head on top of yours. The two of you remain silently wrapped in each other’s embrace, both trying not to think about the meaning behind what just happened.
Suddenly, Rooster’s phone buzzes. Glancing at it, he sighs. “Phoenix is here. I have to go.”
He places a long, lingering kiss on the top of your head before carefully extracting himself from your grasp. As he stands, he runs his hand softly over your stomach one final time. Then he walks over to the bedroom door. But just as his hand wraps around the door handle, he hears you whisper from the bed. “I could call Maverick you know. The second I tell him the truth, about the baby, he would ground you.”
Rooster sighs as he rests his head on the doorframe. “I know. But I also know you love me too much to do that. You understand what this mission means to me.”
“Apparently more than we mean to you.”
Rooster whirled around, his face shifting quickly between a dozen different emotions. “You know that isn’t true!”
You nod softly with your head down, but Rooster can still see the tears beginning to stream down your face. “You’re right. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. I just….”
Another buzz of Rooster’s phone cuts you off. He quickly mutes it. “Sorry. Go on.”
But you shake your head as you purse your lips. “No, you need to go. You can’t keep them waiting.”
“Baby…”
He takes a step closer to you, but you hold up your hands, halting him. “Go, Rooster. You have a job to do, so do it and come home. Come home to us.”
Rooster. If you have resorted to calling him that, then there is nothing left to say. He nods and turns back to the door. As he opens it, he pauses for just a moment. Without turning around, he says, “I love you.”
There is a three-second pause that seems to stretch on for an eternity before you whisper, “I love you, too.”
And with that, Rooster walks out the door. As soon as it is closed, he hears you collapse onto the bed sobbing. But he can’t look back. If he does, he knows he will never leave. So instead, he places one foot in front of the other as he heads off into the unknown, hoping that one day soon, he will be walking back down into that room and into your arms once more.
