#yamachine

Cr: Weibo:  @Ranccho &  @HSJUMPFanClub

Cr: Weibo:  shizukajun侑李王子一生追隨

“From the Beginning” Yamachii Fiction Collection

[3] Touching the Sea and Sky: From the Beginning Series

Sparkling Stars Touch the Sea and Sky

Title:[3.2]I Love You
Pairing/Relationship:Yamada Ryosuke x Chinen Yuri
Chapter Rating:G
Collection Rating: NC-17
Warnings:Chapter:None  Collection:  M/M, NSFW, Explicit Language, Erotica, Public Sex  
Genre: Romantic fluffy stupid boys in love, M/M  
Type:Collection

[3.2] I Love You (August 2019, The boys spend a lazy Sunday afternoon browsing Youtube together) JulietAlayne.pink|Tumblr|Wattpad|AO3

PLEASE NOTE:

This is a Yamachii Romance/Home Life and features the boys in a romantic/intimate relationship with one another.

“From the Beginning” MASTERPOST!

♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ 

Yuri couldn’t help but smile, glancing down at Ryosuke’s fingers fiddling with the edge of the blanket, his head resting over his heart as they lazed about on a Sunday morning. They had a few things to do later that day, but in this moment, they were able to just relax–chosing to stay in bed as long as possible while surfing Youtube videos.

He couldn’t help but feel warm inside–if someone had told him years ago that he’d be married to his best friend in the whole world, living their own style of a ‘perfect’ life–then he would have told them it was impossible…those things might happen, but there was no way it could happen to him.

At least, he’d thought that–and now here he was, Ryosuke’s head moving ever so slightly to the beat of his own heart, and he couldn’t help it, dropping the controller and wrapping his arms around him to squeeze him tightly.

Ryosuke hummed, pushing against his arms to look up at him, “What was that for?”

Yuri couldn’t really put into words all of the feelings running through his mind, just shrugging, “I just love you.”

Ryosuke lifted up a bit further to press a soft, tender kiss to Yuri’s lips, smiling, “I love you too.”

He shuffled to lay back down, his fingers going back to the edge of the blanket while Yuri grabbed the remote to change the video, pausing for a second at one of the suggested videos on the side of it, knowing full well Ryosuke was going to pitch a fit, but it was in reality all his fault.

He did tell me to control the videos.

Without even a hint of remorse he pushed the play button, and at first, it was pretty clear Ryosuke wasn’t paying a bit of attention but he could tell the moment he realized what was playing, his body stiffening, his fingertips crushing the blanket in his hand, emitting a low growl that sounded suspiciously like “Yuri!”

As the series of “I love you” moments from various concerts through the year played on the tv, Ryosuke jerked upright, trying to grab the remote from Yuri who managed to keep it away from him, squealing, “It’s almost over! It’s almost over!”

Ryosuke huffed, throwing himself down on the other side of the bed as the “I love you” echoed in the background, covering his eyes with his arm to hide from the offending words and performances.

When it finally ended, after what he was fairly certain was at least four years minimum, he flung his arm down to look over at Yuri, “You know how much I hate that–I regret ever making the suggestion–I never thought it would become a 'thing’ at all.”

Yuri laughed softly, “Only you would think that you saying 'I love you’ to a bunch of fans wouldn’t become a 'thing’–you’re so naive.”

“Whatever,” Ryosuke shook his head, rolling over onto his side to look at Yuri, his expression softening, “Do you know why I suggested it?”

“Huh?” Yuri scooched down so his eyes were even with Ryosuke’s, lying on his side to face him as well, “What do you mean?”

“I mean when I suggested to say 'I love you’–do you know how come?”

Yuri blinked, confused, “Ah, you thought it would be cool?”

Ryosuke shook his head, laughing softly, “C'mon, you know me better than to imagine I actually had a burning desire to declare my undying love to the world…”

“That’s…true,” Yuri drew the words out, his mind whirling, “If not that then…”

“It felt like I was saying it to you–like…I know it wasn’t…but…” Ryosuke’s cheeks flamed red, as the memories of the myriad of times he’d said those words rushed through his mind.

Yuri watched him, his eyes wide as he considered the implications of this revelation, “Wait…that was like…I dunno, 2010 or something wasn’t it? That can’t be right!”

Ryosuke couldn’t understand how despite these many years together that Yuri just still couldn’t seem to understand the reality, reaching out to brush his fingertips across his cheek before pulling on his shoulder to make him come closer, “Yuri, I knew the minute I met you–I fell in love with you the second you walked into that room.”

Yuri smiled, shuffling further forward to allow himself to be wrapped in Ryosuke’s arms, his face pressed against his chest, “So, all of those 'I love you’s are…”

“Yours,” Ryosuke whispered, pressing a soft kiss to Yuri’s forehead.

“All mine,” Yuri mused, “That’s a lot of love.”

Ryosuke laughed softly, “I have a lot of love for you.”

“I won’t ever be able to hear you say those words the same way now,” Yuri admitted.

“What do you mean?” Ryosuke drew back to look down at Yuri.

Yuri tilted his head, his eyes soft, “I mean, I just always thought it was fan service, you know, and secretly, as your number one fan, I always liked to pretend that you were saying it to me too. Now, you say it was always mine…so…now it will be striking me straight in the heart anytime I hear it.”

“Good,” Ryosuke couldn’t help but smile, “It always belonged to you, now you can keep it forever.”

Ryosuke reached over to grab the remote off of Yuri’s pillow where he’d abandoned it, “Now, it’s my turn to find something that I can embarrass you with…”

“You won’t find anything, I have never done anything I am ashamed of,” Yuri whispered, shuffling around to press back up against Ryosuke to see the television as well.

“Oh really? That sounds like a challenge to me,” Ryosuke began to think carefully about what he could search for that would be embarrassing for Yuri…drawing a blank, “Why are you like this?”

“Because I’m me,” Yuri said proudly, “And you love me just the way I am.”

He reached back and snatched the remote out of Ryosuke’s hand before he could stop him, pressing the play button to make the 'I love you" compilation play again, shushing Ryosuke when he started to protest, “I’m allowed to enjoy this on an entirely different level now, shut up.”

Ryosuke shook his head, realizing he’d just created a monster…and then reached to drag him even closer, pressing a kiss against his head as he smiled, knowing in his heart that Yuri was absolutely right–he wouldn’t have him any other way.

__

The next day, they were filming the Parade ga Hajimaru PV–they’d arrived together, with Ryosuke hanging out with Yuri as they did his hair and makup since he was the first up to be filmed that morning. Yuri was a little surprised by Ryosuke staying–he would usually go off and find a corner to inconspicuously fall asleep in.

Which would inevitably end up on a video thanks to Yutti but still.

When he was nearly done, Ryosuke cleared his throat, pointing to the door to let Yuri know he was going to go on ahead. Yuri did the slight head nod–they were pretty proud of how sly they were…which was a little stupid because no one would think that they were up to anything at all if Ryosuke had just said “I’m gonna go wait in the studio”…but still, inside secrets were a part of their lives, and it paid for them to be always on alert and cautious so they never would slip up when it would really matter. This was certainly going to become something that mattered far more than just merely protecting poeple from finding out about them…no, it was best to handle things in very specific, clear cut ways…

Work was work.

Home was home.

And apart from when one or both of them were wearing white pants in general they were both able to keep those two seperate.

Well…barely…well, they tried–that has to count for something? It was in some ways becoming more and more difficult to keep things neatly divided, and they both knew in the next year the lines were even more likely to become blurred and unclear. It didn’t matter, they both wanted what they wanted together and that was all that mattered–they were blessed enough to be surrounded by people who not only supported them, but helped them conceal and misdirect people away from their relationship.

Yuri was in a wonderful mood, feeling happy and full of joy at all of the beautiful expectations that lay before them, he thanked the makeup artist and the stylist and headed toward the studio.

As soon as Yuri entered the space he saw Ryosuke talking to the people at the sound board, confused, because this wasn’t one of Ryosuke’s projects, he wasn’t really involved in the back end production so he was a little confused by him still not sleeping.

When he was told where to stand and the director instructed him, saying this was really a very short bit–that they were only going to play a tiny random clip just to get him in the zone–and that he didn’t even need to sing along or anything. The goal was to convey feelings–through his expressions and gestures–not to sing the song but to project those feelings to the camera and thus the fans.

Yuri understood, nodding, unpreprared for when the so called “random” clip began to play–knowing full well this was what Ryosuke had been doing at the sound board.

He couldn’t really be sure what feelings he conveyed…whether it revealed how much he loved that dumb boy or how flattered he was by his continual profound declarations throughout their years of surviving their mutual unrequited love. He wondered if the people there could see how much it effected him, how much his hear swelled, to know how loved he was, how cherished he was–how it felt to be loved by the one person in the world you only ever loved…to have that forever? Could they know?

He was careful to avoid looking toward the staff, knowing that there was a good chance that Ryosuke would be standing with them and in that case, it would be all too possible that perhaps his feelings would be entirely too clear, too apparent. Otherwise, he was sure that Ryosuke was glued to one of the video consoles to watch his reaction–either way…he hoped in his heart that what he felt was conveyed to him, because he figured if Ryosuke had spent the last nine years publicly declaring his love for him–then it would be okay if there was a bit of a reflection of that love that could be discovered in this one moment of time in return.

Cellphone Link

“From the Beginning” Yamachii Fiction Collection

[2] Facing the Sea and Sky: From the Beginning Series

Facing the Sea and Sky as the World Melts

Title:[2.3]The Proposal 2.0
Pairing/Relationship:Yamada Ryosuke x Chinen Yuri
Chapter Rating:PG
Collection Rating: NC-17
Warnings:Chapter: None  Collection:  NSFW, Explicit Language, Erotica, Public Sex  
Genre: Romantic fluffy stupid boys in love, M/M, discovering forever, the Yamadas 
Type:Collection

PLEASE NOTE:

This is a Yamachii Romance/Home Life and features the boys in a romantic/intimate relationship with one another.

“From the Beginning” MASTERPOST!

♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤

Music Inspo:

Rewrite the Stars–The Greatest Showman

From Now On–The Greatest Showman

They had the day off together finally after weeks of a chaotic schedule that seemed to have them working long hours and barely seeing each other apart from the moments they fell into bed in pure exhaustion, only to wake up and repeat the process again. So, they’d both decided they would stay in their pajamas, order delivery food, and watch movies all day.  

Ryosuke was slumped down on the couch with his legs stretched out to the stool in front of him, while Yuri was bundled up in a soft blanket, curled on his side, with his head laying on a pillow in Ryosuke’s lap where he was contentedly watching the current film while Ryosuke played with his hair. Every once in a while, when Ryosuke’s hand would still, he’d wiggle a tiny bit to jar him and inevitably his hand would start moving again, and all Yuri could think was how completely spoiled he was by Ryosuke.  

They’d decided to make the day one filled with musicals, so they’d drug out their whole collection and were currently watching “The Greatest Showman”—one of their favorites of all time, having watched it so many times at this point they had nearly every single word of it memorized.  

Ryosuke knew what was coming, having a hard time not laughing in advance, as the song “The Other Side” was approaching, and when Zac Efron stood up, the low noise was issued from Yuri as expected, Ryosuke lifted his hand to cover his mouth to hide his smile. 

“I mean damn,” Yuri murmured, glancing up at Ryosuke who was doing his best to pretend to be consumed by the movie, “That boy is fine.” 

“I’m right here,” Ryosuke complained, shoving his shoulder. 

“I mean seriously, look him in that suit…like…those pants,” he made another feral noise causing Ryosuke to shove him straight off the couch without any preamble. 

Yuri squealed, giggling his head off as he crawled back up on the couch, “Oh c’mon, you know I only have eyes for you.” 

Ryosuke pretended to be offended, enjoying the way Yuri’s voice played against the shell of his ear, his mouth kissing the skin of his neck tenderly, “There’s no one but you for me.” 

“Whatever,” Ryosuke smiled when Yuri knew the ‘fight’ was over, shuffling himself back into his original position laying his head back on the pillow in Ryosuke’s lap. 

“He is pretty hot,” Ryosuke said, laughing when Yuri’s fist came up to hit him in the side of the head, squealing, “I’m just saying.” 

“Shut up,” Yuri snapped, hiding his grin behind his amused fury, “The song’s over, we missed the whole thing!” 

“Want me to rewind it so you can watch your boyfriend again?” Ryosuke offered playfully. 

“Nah, if I wanna see a hot guy with a fine ass I’ll just make you walk around the house for me,” Yuri grinned knowing that Ryosuke never knew what to say from those kinds of remarks, just letting him sit there all shocked while he returned his attention to the movie fully.  

They reached the part where Phillip and Anne are going to the theatre, and they run into his parents as they’re entering the lobby, Yuri snuggling closer to Ryosuke as he sighed, “This is so sad…” 

Ryosuke glanced down at him, blinking, trying to make sense of the words, his eyes moving from him to the screen and back again, tilting his head when Yuri spoke again, “It’s like…you know…they love each other but they can’t be together because the world keeps them apart with their hatred.” 

The world keeps them apart with their hatred. 

Reality suddenly intruded on their lazy day together, and Ryosuke felt his feelings drop like a boulder into his tummy, trying to feign a smile when Yuri rolled over onto his back, looking up at him expectantly because he absolutely loved when Ryosuke would sing along to this song—something he always did now that he knew Yuri’s affinity for it.  

Swallowing roughly, Ryosuke tentatively sang the first words, his eyes connected to Yuri’s, “You know I want you—it’s not a secret I try to hide…I know you want me, so, don’t keep saying our hands are tied…” 

Yuri’s hand reached up to run his fingers through Ryosuke’s hair, a smile tugging at his lips as Ryosuke continued to sing, “You claim it’s not in the cards–fate is pulling you miles away and out of reach from me…But you’re here in my heart so who can stop me if I decide that you’re my destiny?” 

Ryosuke’s voice cracked on the last few words, feeling his throat thickening as the stinging burn of tears prickled his eyes but he shook his head, trying to get rid of them the words a whisper, “What if we rewrite the stars, say you were made to be mine—nothing could keep us apart, you’d be the one I was meant to find. It’s up to you and it’s up to me—no one can say what we get to be…” 

Ryosuke took a shuddering breath, his hand brushing against Yuri’s cheek, “So why don’t we rewrite the stars…maybe the world could be ours tonight.” 

He didn’t mean for the tears to fall, he didn’t mean to change anything, but Yuri just shushed him when he started to open his mouth, running his fingers across his jaw to swipe the tears away, his voice soft as he sang the lyrics in return, his brows drawn down, and Ryosuke’s heart clenched, because for a moment there was something so raw and vulnerable in Yuri’s eyes when they lifted to look at him, “You think it’s easy, you think I don’t want to run to you? But there are mountains and there are doors that we can’t walk through…I know you are wondering why because we are able to be just you and me within these walls, but when we go outside, you’re gonna wake up and see that it was hopeless after all.” 

Ryosuke thread his fingers through Yuri’s holding his hand against his chest as he broke eye contact, as if the moment was too loaded with emotions to address it, rolling over onto his side to face the tv again, dragging Ryosuke’s hand under his arm to hold it against his own chest. Ryosuke could feel his heart pounding wildly against his hand, and he knew Yuri felt it too, the weight, the sheer magnitude of their lives together, the thing they try to pretend isn’t there–the thing they are able to keep away when they’re within the safe walls of their own home…their voices soft as they sang the next part of the song together.  

No one can rewrite the stars
How can you say you’ll be mine
Everything keeps us apart
And I’m not the one you were meant to find
It’s not up to you
It’s not up to me
When everyone tells us what we can be
How can we rewrite the stars
Say that the world can be ours
Tonight

Hmm… 

Ryosuke’s mind swirled with their own situation, the way they are held back from being who they want to be because of the world around them…in reality, how are they any different than the two characters on the screen? 

He leaned forward, over Yuri who turned his head to look up to him, freeing his hand to cup his cheek as he sang, “All I want is to fly with you…” 

Yuri joined him, his fingers threading into the hair at the nape of his neck, “All I want is to fall with you…So, just give me all of you–” 

Yuri shook his head, “It feels impossible.” 

“It’s not impossible,” Ryosuke reassured him. 

“Is it impossible?” Yuri asked softly, “Say that it’s possible…” 

Their voices flowing in perfected harmony from years of singing together, their eyes locked together,  

How do we rewrite the stars say you were made to be mine
Nothing can keep us apart
Cause you are the one I was meant to find
It’s up to you
And it’s up to me
No one can say what we get to be
Why don’t we rewrite the stars

Ryosuke’s body lurched forward, curling around Yuri’s protesting head as his hand shot out to grab the remote, scrambling to pause the movie, then turning to look at Yuri, who had lifted up onto his elbows, his face nearly crashing into Ryosuke’s when he turned back around, causing them both to laugh.  

Ryosuke shifted into the floor, his smile soft as he reached up to cradle Yuri’s head in his hands, Yuri’s mouth opened to say something about how confused he was but before he could, Ryosuke had closed the tiny distance between them to press a tender, chaste kiss to his lips silencing him.  

Ryosuke’s eyes were wide with sincerity, his expression soft and warm as he pulled back just far enough to say the words, “Marry me.” 

Yuri’s eyes twinkled in amusement, unsure of what Ryosuke was on about, “Funny thing, but I thought I already agreed to that?” Yuri lifted his hand up and waved it beside their heads, “I have a ring and everything to prove it.” 

Ryosuke’s body was trembling under the weight of the thoughts rushing through his mind, “Yeah, yeah, sure, but I mean, let’s do it!” 

“Do…what?” Yuri pressed on Ryosuke’s chest, trying to get him to move back a little bit so he could get a better look at him, get a better read on what he was actually saying. 

Ryosuke shuffled backward quickly, standing up, like the energy he was feeling was too powerful to sit still, his voice frantic, his hands gesturing outward like he needed Yuri to understand this and how important it was, “Let’s get married…” 

“Uh, that would be great but there’s that nagging little issue of the fact that our own country would never let us,” Yuri waved him off, confused to why Ryosuke seemed to be talking so passionately about something that was completely impossible—no matter what some romantic song might say.  

“But—Ree…we could! We can, don’t you understand?” Ryosuke implored him to somehow grasp the reality. 

Yuri sighed, rolling his eyes, pretty much dismissing him entirely as he laid back down, propping himself up on the discarded pillow against the arm of the couch, “Right, okay…right now?” 

“Well, I mean,” Ryosuke paced across the living room and back, his mind whirling, “…as soon as we can, we could do it.” 

“Ryosuke…”  

“Hmmm…” Ryosuke stopped at the tone Yuri had said his name, waiting expectantly. 

“What are you doing,” Yuri tried to keep the hurt from his voice but he knew perfectly well he was doing a terrible job, shaking his head, “Why…why do you do this?” 

“What? Do what? I just…” Ryosuke was trying to get the right words to come out but there were so many words he needed to say, “I think we should do it!” 

“Do what?” 

“Get married!” Ryosuke was exasperated, throwing his hands up into the air, “We should get married!” 

Yuri sat up, elbows on his knees as he rest his head in his hands, staring at the floor as he pulled on the ends of his hair, “Why do you keep bringing this up?” 

Ryosuke stopped moving, at first bristling at the idea that he brought this up very often, in fact, he wanted to defend himself against this notion because they’d talk about it every single day if not for his amazing self-control. He stepped closer to Yuri, not understanding his posture or tone, “What do you mean?” 

“I mean…you bring it up and I don’t understand why, it’s like…” Yuri looked up at him then and Ryosuke’s stomach dropped when he saw the pain reflected in his eyes, “It’s like you have a personal mission of torture yourself, and me…or something.” 

“Wha–” 

Yuri snapped, his tone sharp and angry, pushing Ryosuke’s hand away when he reached out to touch him, “Stop! It hurts me, do you hear me? It makes me hurt…I know it hurts you too! So, just you stop it!” 

“Ree, what are you talking about?” Ryosuke’s voice was barely a whisper as he drew his hand back, shocked at Yuri not letting him console him, something completely unlike his normal reaction, making him worried, unsure of what was happening but knowing he didn’t like it. 

Yuri sighed, a tear making a slow path down his cheek as he stared at Ryosuke, “I mean, I know you know this—but Ryosuke, you know as well as I do that we can’t get married! We absolutely CAN NOT get married,” he shook his head, his hand shooting up to scrub violently at the tears that he hated with every fiber of his soul, “So, please, tell me why you keep acting like we can–I mean, I thought you would get the idea out of your system and eventually accept the facts, but…you do know we can’t get married, right?” 

“Yuri!” Ryosuke slid onto the couch, pushing Yuri’s body into the cushions, his hands grabbing Yuri’s face so he couldn’t look away, “Of course we can! What are you talking about?!” 

Yuri tried to shake his head, but it was impossible, “I’m sorry, but one of us has to be the realist here and it’s usually you so this is a strange turn of events for me, but honestly,” he laughed but there was no humor in it, another tear falling from his eyes, “Our reality is that it’s not legal for us to get married in Japan.” 

“So!” Ryosuke’s voice was so loud it made Yuri jump in surprise, squirming when Ryosuke dragged him into his arms in a hug, whispering, “Sorry, I’m so sorry,” pressing a kiss to his cheek before speaking, “But…Ree, honestly, who cares what Japan says?” 

Yuri tried to understand the words he was saying but he might as well have been speaking alien, his eyes wide when Ryosuke released him, intently focused on him, “Yuri, there is a huge world outside of these walls, beyond these borders, there is a world with unlimited possibilities.” 

Ryosuke studied Yuri, trying to sense whether he was understanding what he was trying to tell him, but then he tilted his head, “Wait…wha…what in the world did you think we were doing? That I was doing with that ring?” 

Yuri shrugged, his voice growing weaker the more he talked from the darkening of Ryosuke’s expression, “Saying you would marry me if you could, but since you can’t…It was just a really beautiful gesture…” 

Ryosuke frowned, his hands dropping, eyes bouncing from the ring on his finger to Yuri, holding his hand up, “And this ring? From you?” 

Yuri felt ashamed but he was confused as to the why of it, he didn’t like this conversation, didn’t like not understanding what was happening and why it felt like he was doing something wrong, he didn’t really want to answer him, not at all, because there was hurt around the edge of Ryosuke’s expression and he didn’t want to make him hurt more than he already somehow was, his voice clipped, “Ryosuke, I mean, that’s the same thing, I want to marry you, you know that…I know you know that…”  

His voice faded off, his hand rubbing his chest where it hurt, looking back up at Ryosuke, frustrated with the pain he was feeling, with the way Ryosuke’s expression was making him feel, “You KNOW damn well I want to marry you, I do, but we can’t…it’s illegal and besides that what with the agency and society and all that crazy stuffs I mean, we can’t get married, it’s not possible.” 

Ryosuke clenched his eyes closed, trying to gather his thoughts, his voice firm, “Yuri, my intention has always been to actually marry you.” 

Yuri blinked innocently, unsure of what Ryosuke was trying to get him to understand, “Listen to me, Ree, like, honestly, I don’t give a fuck about the agency or society or hell, apparently, laws–I want you to be my husband in any way we can, whatever form it takes, it will be real–I mean, honestly, I don’t understand what you thought I was doing here…” 

Yuri tilted his head, trying to process what he was saying, “But…” 

Ryosuke laughed, because Yuri’s expression was so soft, so small, so sincere he wanted to just hug him close and never ever let him go, he shuffled forward until his nose was touching Yuri’s, his voice soft and tender as he spoke, “Chiisana, I’ve researched, and we might not be able to be married in Japan but we can go to so many other countries who will marry us, sure, the marriage won’t be recognized by Japan, yet,” he paused, making sure Yuri understood his emphasis, “Yet,” he waited for Yuri to nod in understanding before he continued, “But…for me…Ree, for me, at least, it would be real.” 

A twinkle of hope flickered behind Yuri’s eyes and when Ryosuke spoke the next words it was like a world of possibilities opened up within his once limited world view, “Chinen Yuri, it would be real for me. You would be my husband and I would be yours.” 

Yuri couldn’t get words to form, couldn’t make his thoughts get into the proper order for a coherent thought, watching as Ryosuke’s expression morphed through several emotions before he frowned, swallowing roughly, his eyes moving away from Yuri’s face to look at the button on his shirt, his voice weak when he whispered, “Ree, wouldn’t it be real for you?” 

Yuri felt like the world was closing in on them, and he needed Ryosuke to know, without any doubt, if in the next moment all of time and space came to an end, he desperately needed him to know the truth, his fingertips tracing the edge of his jaw before cupping his cheeks, forcing his face up to look at him clearly, his voice soft, “You stupid boy, of course it would be real for me.” 

He watched as Ryosuke’s shoulders released the tension he’d been holding there, almost visibly falling away from him as Yuri’s eyebrows drew down, confused, “…but…could we…are you saying we could really do that?” 

“That’s what I’m saying,” Ryosuke laughed, kissing him quickly, then continuing, “Yeah, we can go to France, or somewhere else in Europe, there’s a few places there, or like we can go to Hawaii, any of these places, there’s a lot of them! They’d let us get married and it would be real.” 

Yuri looked at him in wonder, “It would be real? Like genuinely real?” 

“Yes, it would be completely real.” 

It would be real. 

Yuri’s eyes flew wide open, his voice high and fast, his whole body bouncing up and down in excitement, causing Ryosuke’s body to jostle on the couch beside him, “I want that…I want that, Ryosuke! I want that!” 

Ryosuke grabbed him into a hug, Yuri’s arms clenching tightly around him, smiling broadly when Ryosuke affirmed, laughing, “Okay, then we’ll do that!” 

Ryosuke grabbed both of Yuri’s hands, realizing at some point he must have hit the remote causing the movie to have been playing behind him, and when he heard the song playing, he couldn’t stop himself—dragging Yuri up off the couch. 

“Ryosuke!” Yuri squealed as he was yanked to his feet and pulled to the side of the room where Ryosuke began dancing with him, putting some of his fancy dance lessons to good use—the very same private lessons Ryosuke had forced them to attend together, because he refused to have any other partner. 

When Ryosuke swung him outward, Yuri found himself rendered breathless, his eyes bright with excitement as the words played in the air around them.  

From now on 
These eyes will not be blinded by the lights 
From now on 
What’s waited ’til tomorrow starts tonight 
Tonight 
Let this promise in me start 
Like an anthem in my heart 
From now on 
From now on 

“Wait,” Yuri pushed against Ryosuke as he spun him back into his chest, the air pushed out of his lungs sharply at how strong Ryosuke’s arms were on him as he held him, but Ryosuke wouldn’t let him go, giving up, he asked the question with his face buried in his chest, “What are we waiting for?” 

Ryosuke drew back, and then spun him to the side and outward again, his eyebrows drawn down in confusion, “What do you mean?” 

Yuri managed to not fall when Ryosuke took up a new step, sweeping him around the room, “I mean if we can get married why aren’t we already!? I want to marry you; don’t you want to marry me?” 

“God,” Ryosuke shook his head, twirling them again, “You know there’s nothing I want more than to marry you.” 

For years and years 
I chased their cheers 
The crazy speed of always needing more 
But when I stop 
And see you here 
I remember who all this was for 

“Then marry me! Let’s get married!!!” Yuri’s enthusiasm was barreling out of control, seemingly growing at the music surrounding them sped up and grew into the crescendo, and Ryosuke figured he needed to make sure they ended up on the same page.  

Or at least the same chapter. 

Because at this point, he wasn’t entirely sure they were even in the same book. 

“Okay, okay,” Ryosuke stopped dancing, releasing Yuri he held his hands up, moving them in a way that usually calmed down wild animals or children, his voice soothing, “But, Ree, we have to plan…we can’t just…I mean…” 

“You just said we could! Let’s go!” Yuri demanded, causing Ryosuke to laugh when his foot lifted and slammed to the floor in his demand, his head tilting to the side, eyes narrowing as he weighed whether or not Ryosuke was actually trying to change what he’d just said. 

“We can! I mean but we can’t just take off to go overseas we have to pla–” 

“How long?” Yuri snapped, leaning closer to Ryosuke’s face to make sure he could see his eyes clearly. 

“Wha–” 

“HOW LONG do you need to plan a real wedding?” Yuri’s body was moving to the rhythm of the song, bouncing in place and Ryosuke wondered how different this moment might be without that song playing in the background. 

At least it might be a little more sane.  

Ryosuke hadn’t missed the way Yuri had worded that, unsurprised that Yuri had no intentions of being involved in planning anything, yet, he honestly had no idea, a million lists running through his mind of all of the different things that would have to take place, reluctantly admitting, “Umm…a few…month–” 

These eyes will not be blinded by the lights!
From now on!
What’s waited ’til tomorrow starts tonight!
It starts tonight!

“WEEKS.”  

The word hung in the air, as if he were a queen telling the court guards to take off a prisoner’s head, Yuri pulled his head back, daring Ryosuke to argue, “Make it weeks.” 

Ryosuke stared at him for a moment, dumbfounded, then paced quickly across the space, his mind whirling, “Umm…I…I dunno how long it would…there’s so many factors, there’s a lot we have to consider, and we would have to go to th–” 

He nearly ran over top of Yuri who had moved closer to him while his back was turned and blocked his path, his hands shooting out to grab his upper arms to keep from knocking him down. Yuri reached up to take Ryosuke’s hands, “You can do it,” Yuri’s voice was soft, the authoritative tone completely absent as he grabbed Ryosuke’s hands to lead him to the couch, making him sit down, as he climbed up onto his lap, straddling him. 

He rest his hands on Ryosuke’s shoulders before he leaned forward to press his cheek against his own, his voice soft in his ear, “Tell me–for an incredibly talented internationally acclaimed actor and idol…” 

Yuri pressed a soft kiss to Ryosuke’s cheek before he continued, “An idol who has what I honestly think must be an obscene amount of money that he keeps tucked away safely because he doesn’t ever spend it on much of anything and who wants to marry the guy he loves…” 

Yuri drew back, his eyes twinkling as he ran his fingers through Ryosuke’s hair, tugging on the ends of it, making him wiggle with chills before he drew them forward to hold his face, leaning infinitely closer, “For that guy, for that guy who knows so many people, has connections across all avenues of various industries, and knows how to properly pull strings because even though he lives in complete denial through his day to day life of this fact…” 

He leaned forward, gently kissing him, his lips nipping softly at Ryosuke’s before he opened his eyes, his voice like a praise and a demand, a bribe and an oath all in one, “For that guy who wields unbelievable star power with his name alone…for that guy…” he tilted his head, pressing another series of soft tender kisses against Ryosuke’s lips, drawing back enough to speak, his lips still fluttering against Ryosuke’s as he spoke the words, “For that guy how long would it take him to plan our wedding?” 

“A…a few weeks probably…” Ryosuke mumbled, confused by the spell he felt he was under, the influence of Yuri’s charm a powerful force. 

“A few weeks then?” Yuri spoke and his voice was back to normal, leaning past Ryosuke to get his cellphone from the table, tapping the screen as his brows drew down, completely ignoring when Ryosuke’s hands moved up his legs to rest on his hips, his fingertips digging into them in frustration. 

“Valentine’s day…it’s 23 days from now, and an international holiday so it would be an awesome anniversary date,” Yuri announced, moving the phone a bit so he could see Ryosuke’s face, “That work?” 

“But Ree I don’t kn–” 

“I know you can do it!” 

“I can?” 

“I know you can.” 

“I dunn–” Ryosuke’s words were cut off, his eyes narrowing as he watched Yuri’s face transform, the gorgeous, powerful, sexy man who was there moments before turning into a tiny puppy right before his eyes, causing Ryosuke to groan, swiping his hand down his face in frustration, hissing violently, “Damn it, Ree.” 

“For me?” Yuri blinked his eyes softly, fluttering his lashes as his bottom lip slowly drew into the perfected pout, “For me, your precious Chiisana, you could, couldn’t you?” 

Ryosuke sighed, knowing resistance was utterly futile, “I would do anything for you, you know that…” 

Yuri smiled so brightly that Ryosuke wondered how he wasn’t blinded by it, his entire form radiating with pure light and happiness, and he knew he’d do anything for him, no matter what it was, no matter how impossible, grinning when Yuri shifted backwards, sliding off his legs into the floor on his knees, his voice soft when he spoke again, looking at him with the softest expression, “Then…marry me.” 

Ryosuke leaned forward, running his hands across Yuri’s shoulders before one of his hands cupped the back of his head, drawing him forward to press his lips against Yuri’s in a searing kiss, taking his time to try to express how he was feeling, and then when Yuri was completely breathless, a puddle of messy feelings there on the floor, he drew back, the words soft against his skin, “You marry me?” 

“Yes.” 

♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤

“From the Beginning” Yamachii Fiction Collection

[2] Facing the Sea and Sky: From the Beginning Series

Facing the Sea and Sky as the World Melts

Title:[2.2]Me & You
Pairing/Relationship:Yamada Ryosuke x Chinen Yuri
Chapter Rating:PG
Collection Rating: NC-17
Warnings:Chapter: None  Collection:  NSFW, Explicit Language, Erotica, Public Sex  
Genre: Romantic fluffy stupid boys in love, M/M, angst, moody boys  
Type:Collection

PLEASE NOTE:

This is a Yamachii Romance/Home Life and features the boys in a romantic/intimate relationship with one another.

“From the Beginning” MASTERPOST!

♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤

The past few days had been utterly exhausting and all Ryosuke could think about was the fact that everything with Yuri was still really off. In all fairness, they were both exhausted, not the normal type of ‘I’m a little tired’, no, this was different…they were both stressed—what with all of their responsibilities from the last few months—they were all stretched pretty thin.

Add on top of that normal work related stress the fact that there was something weird going on between them—neither of them feeling ‘quite right’ with one another causing everything in their lives to feel a little more raw, a bit more dramatic, and almost like the lens has been thrown out of focus but you don’t realize it right away because it’s just a bit wrong on the edge where you’d not be able to notice right away.

It was New Years Eve and as usual Jump was scheduled to perform for the countdown—something the usually look forward to—but the truth was, the mood that the two of them had been in seemed to be somehow contagious and most of the Jump members were not quite…right.

Ryosuke glanced over to the side, a little way down the stage and could see Yuri looking out over the audience, his hips swaying  a tiny bit to the music the other group was performing out at the middle stage. He looked absolutely adorable in his suit tonight and Ryosuke had given him the biggest smooch ever before the were called to the stage earlier, promising him that after tonight everything was going to be okay, to just go out here and do his best.

Yuri’s just really exhausted…we didn’t really have any time between the end of the tour and rehearsals for the dome performances, and then it was straight into rehearsals for today, which has been insane.

But he’s so…mad at me all the time, it’s like I can’t do anything right these days.

Plus…he’s most definitely still keeping things from me…he never does that.

Christmas is over, so even the slight chance it had something to do with a gift is long gone now.

But no..just…stop this!

I’m reading way too much into it again, everything fine, he’s stressed, we all are, it’s fine…stop being stupid.

Unless it’s not fine…why would he have struggles and issues he didn’t think he could share with me?

Why would he confide in other people and not in me?

We’re closer than this…I know we are…I just…I don’t understand.

He took a deep breath, clenching his eyes shut as he tried to center himself again, after all he was working, and he couldn’t afford to get caught up inside his own mind like this.

It’s fine, now, get your head in the game!

This is work.

Right. Work. Now.

He glanced to the side again, hoping that seeing Yuri would help him get back to being focused—maybe a gesture, something to say he might be thinking of him as well. He had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop from swearing when he discovered instead of Yuri even remotely thinking of him, he was standing still, speaking softly to Daiki, which was really grating on his last nerve because frankly–Daiki was one of Ryosuke’s dearest friends, but the truth was, Yuri didn’t really speak to him when they weren’t together. It wasn’t because there were any issues or anything there—nothing controversial or anything–it was mostly because Daiki made it impossible to fade into the background. Anyone who knew Yuri knew that his favorite spot to be when he wasn’t firmly in the spotlight in his idol form was perfectly hidden in the shadows.

No, he wouldn’t normally have much to do with Daiki, because he was exuberant, excitable, and always talking far too loudly to be in the shadows—rather his child-like enthusiasm for…well, pretty much everything meant that Yuri only hung out with him when there were other people to buffer between them. But for a while now, Yuri had been really attached to Daiki, spending a lot of time talking to him, working on projects and things, and Daiki had done a whole lot of filling in for things that Ryosuke would normally take care of like driving Yuri places and things of that nature due to Ryosuke’s incredibly busy schedule.

He didn’t mind their friendship, in fact, under normal circumstances, he’d highly encourage it—it wasn’t good for Yuri to be so dependent on him and getting him to open up to others was really important. Yuri needed people he could trust, and those who would understand him the way Daiki seemed to. No, it wasn’t something based in jealousy or worry, it just seemingly added to the mystery of the distance between them is all—just another unmatching piece of the puzzle that his life seemed to be these days—because their friendship seemed to blossom almost simultaneously with the overall strange behavior and lies began.

Ryosuke had gotten lost in his thoughts, staring over at the other two boys when, Yuri’s eyes drifted over Daiki’s shoulder, latching onto his own.

Ryosuke tilted his head when Yuri’s eyes widened slightly, and then frowned when Yuri’s eyes flashed quickly back to Daiki and he shifted, it was a small amount of movement, but it cut off Ryosuke’s view of him completely. Ryosuke stared at the back of Daiki’s head for a moment, his stomach falling out again as it had been doing regularly for several days now.

Doubts, as they are wont to do had been filling his mind for the last week.

Something’s wrong.

Really wrong.

Maybe he’s tired of me?

No, my goodness, don’t be stupid, he loves you!

I love him! Oh, God, how much I love him!

Maybe he’s just…maybe he is looking around and wondering what we’re doing, where we’re going?

Maybe he’s bored with me?

Maybe he thinks I don’t want to be with him forever?

Maybe he thinks I’m tired of him?

Maybe I’m taking too long to make this declaration to him?

Maybe I’m moving too fast and he’s scared of it?

How can I do this right?

How can I know the perfect time?

Maybe he just doesn’t feel that way about me anymore?

People change?

Don’t they?

Sometimes they grow apart?

But no…not us, we’re not like that…we’re not, I know we aren’t.

I mean…before…I was really stupid about that?

I mean he was really hurt by me not being forward with my feelings about things—right?

He actually thought I didn’t care about him and want to be with him…could…could that be what’s happened?

Could I have waited TOO long now?

SHUT UP.

Oh my gosh, just shut up, everything is fine, stop being stupid.

My own mind is my worst enemy.

He loves me, I love him.

Everything is good.

Even if he’s been worried about where our relationship is going, I’m gonna fix that tonight—I will make sure he understands, and everything will be okay!

Then I’m gonna make him tell me what is going on.

We have a week off work after today—I want everything to be perfect.

All of this nonsense is just a product of your nervousness and nothing more…stop being an idiot!

Besides, in a few hours, everything is going to be clear—at least as clear as I can make it.

His hand drifted across the edge of his coat, the fabric inlaid with some kind of metallic gold thread that was scratchy on his fingertips, grazing across his waist to dip his hand into his pocket, his fingers checking for the millionth time to ensure that the ring was still there. He slid the metal through his fingers as he felt the smooth surface, then smiled when he felt the tell-tale rise of the stone.

Still safe.

He’d spent over a month designing it, then worked with one of the staff who had a family member who was a jewelry artisan, Nakamura-san, who had crafted the ring perfectly. Ryosuke designed it to use genuine authentic crushed meteorite to create the inner band—the part Yuri would likely wear the most–something that he knew Yuri was absolutely going to lose his mind over, of course, which presented as a basic black band that wouldn’t draw much attention to the ring.

To make the design more compelling, he’d also designed a fancy inset to hold the band, something Yuri could wear when he wanted, that would make the ring a little more decorative. It held a one of a kind topaz gem stone that he’d handpicked himself.

‘Topaz is a true expression of fire energy–representing love and passion’ is what Nakamura-san had told Ryosuke when he’d been trying to decide on what gemstone to put as the main focus of the ring. As soon as he described it, he knew that it was the perfect one—Yuri was the epitome of a fiery personality—and surely the fact it was aligned with love and passion, something he and Yuri certainly had abounding in their relationship—well, he’d doubted if he could have found a better match for them.

The entire set was made in platinum, a color he knew looked good with Yuri’s skin, and all in all, despite being absolutely beautiful, it was understated enough he felt like most people would never guess what it was.

He couldn’t wait to see what Yuri thought of it!

The last two months had been filled with so many ideas, just honestly, he’d thought of a million ways to propose, some of them simple, others quite elaborate, after all, Ryosuke felt absolutely certain that Yuri deserved every single bit of whatever he could come up with for putting up with him.

Then, this morning, even with the worries and concerns about the text messages and the New Year’s concert that evening, when they were eating breakfast and Yuri was standing there with his hip against the counter, one arm crossed across his tummy as the other one leaned on it for support, nibbling on his sweet roll, all Ryosuke could think was that this was where he belonged—right there beside him—looking so adorable, so precious…so utterly right. Yuri needed to be there, right there with him, every morning for as long as they lived. His heart had soared, and he couldn’t help to think…this would mark the end of one year and the start of a new one–and suddenly, he felt a surety in his very soul that he should not let one more day pass before asking Yuri.

Not one more day.

So, despite the million ways he could do this that would reflect how much thought and care and wonder he wanted to express—he decided it didn’t matter—he just HAD to have that ring on Yuri’s finger. He knew that it was impractical—that they couldn’t really “officially” get married, but…well, even if they never figured out a better way, then… at least, they would have this…that’s all.

He turned to the audience who were still cheering for other groups at the moment, allowing them to think his smile was surely about their presence and it was, of course, in its own way, yet, at this moment all he could think about was one hour from now. Once the New Year was heralded in, they would all be disbursed to change, and in that chaos, he intended to drag Yuri away and as soon as possible after midnight, he’d ask.

Ask.

He felt his knees tremble, and all he could think was what if…what if this isn’t what he wants?

He glanced back over to find Yuri standing still looking at him. He tilted his head, blinking rapidly, and wished for a moment they could speak, that he could ask him to please tell him what was happening, what was wrong—why he couldn’t share whatever burden he was carrying with him. In truth, despite being so aggravated with Yuri over it—Ryosuke couldn’t help but feel somehow responsible—like there was something he had done, something he’d perhaps said, that made Yuri feel like he had to keep secrets from him.

Everything is good, Yuri’s going through something, obviously, and my goal is to support him and love him through it no matter what…and whatever it is, no matter what, we’ll deal with that together.

Like we deal with everything else.

Just this morning he’d awoken from a terrible nightmare where everything was dark and he could hear Yuri’s voice calling out to him, but no matter how hard or fast he ran, he couldn’t reach him–and he’d been inconsolable, his breath ragged as he tried to shake off the dream, and he’d jumped when Yuri’s hand had touched his wrist. He’d sat up and his arm had wrapped around him, pulling him closer.

“Another dream?” Yuri had asked, his voice still soft with sleep.

“Y-yes,” Ryosuke scrubbed at his eyes, willing away the visions of emptiness that were flashing through his mind’s eye.

“Why are you having so many nightmares lately, Ryo?”

“I-I don’t know…” He wanted to say ’because you’re not acting normal with me anymore, and I feel like while I’m preparing to spend the rest of my life with you, everything I do seems to push you further away’, but instead, he just turned his head and smiled at Yuri, “Everything’s fine, I’m just stressed.”

Yuri’s expression made it clear that he clearly didn’t believe him, his eyes narrowing slightly, and then he shrugged, falling back onto his pillow and huffing, “Whatever you say…”

Despite seeming upset, when Ryosuke had laid back down, facing the opposite of Yuri he had to smile when he felt Yuri’s hand, soft on his back as he slowly rubbed it to sooth him back to sleep.

When he finally woke up again, Ryosuke knew…felt with absolution in his heart, he had to stop putting off the one thing he wanted the most in the whole world, and once he’d made up his mind–he could feel the slow countdown to the moment he’d ask Yuri to be with him forever.

Yuri was staring at Ryosuke, the way he was looking out at the crowd, the smile on his face, beautiful–yet, he’d not seen it personally for many weeks. It seemed to him that something had changed, sometime in the last month or so…and to him, at least, it felt like he was hiding something.

I know he’s hiding something.

It’s not like I’m not hiding something.

It could be nothing.

Or it could be anything.

Everything.

Could be he is reacting to knowing I’m not telling him the truth.

Ryosuke is stupidly intuitive toward me…maybe he realized I was lying…maybe…he is mad at me.

Nah, I’ve been super stealthy, he couldn’t possibly be onto me!

Could he be reconsidering us? Our future?

Is he…gonna say no to me?

Did I misjudge everything?

Stop that!

He’s hiding something but that doesn’t mean it has anything to do with us.

It doesn’t mean it has anything to do with us.

With me.

Yuri had not changed his standards, despite wanting to pry, or snoop, he didn’t dig into Ryosuke’s privacy, or check his phone because what in the world would that mean? He trusted Ryosuke, their entire relationship was built on utter and complete trust, and faith in one another. Yet, he’d wanted to—which was frustrating to him on a level he hadn’t expected. If he could have done it without debilitating guilt, he would have. He tried to talk to him, but part of him was so afraid of what he might find out he didn’t really try–he just felt certain that he was hiding something, and that alone had been driving him to the brink of insanity.

Something is wrong, I wish I could understand what it was.

Ryosuke smiled at Yuri, but it was met with a pensive stare and then they were in motion, the last song beginning and they both snapped into their professional mode, setting aside their relationship worries for a time when they were not working.

As the gathered masses celebrated the New Year, the members of the many groups were in chaos as they moved through the maze of hallways to their dressing rooms, and somehow in the confusion Ryosuke had lost sight of Yuri.

He moved quickly, apologizing when he ran into another Johnny, his eyes frantically searching through the crowd, calling out loudly, “Yuri!”

He knew there was little hope of spotting him, short as he was among the people, grabbing Hikaru as he went by him, “Have you seen Yuri?”

Hikaru shook his head, “No, sorry!”

Ryosuke released his arm, nodding, and then turning around to walk back the way he’d come, wondering if perhaps he’d been held up on stage for something, then he heard it, his name called out.

He turned around, his eyes scanning the crowd and saw him, his hand waving above the others, his voice frantic, “Ryosuke!”

He did his best to not shove the other Johnny’s out of the way to get to Yuri, who seemed completely unnerved when he finally reached him, his eyes wide, his hands shaking, and Ryosuke was done with this nonsense, determined to get to the bottom of what was going on–and ideally, to get that ring on Yuri’s finger.

Ryosuke grabbed his hand, not stopping as he rushed forward, dragging him down the hallway toward their dressing room.

“Ryo,” Yuri cried out, “Wait, I w—want to talk to you!”

“We’re going to talk,” Ryosuke called back, glad when they cleared the last of the people, his hand opening the dressing room door, and then he was suddenly jerked backward, Yuri having stopped firmly in place.

Ryosuke twisted around to look at him, Yuri’s eyes narrowing, “I said I want to talk to you!”

“Damn it, Ree,” Ryosuke snapped, taking a deep breath to calm down, his nerves dancing on edge, his voice still coming out too shrill, too cross, “That’s what we’re gonna do!”

“Don’t you dare use that tone with me after the way you’ve been acting Yamada Ryosuke!” Yuri seethed, his finger coming up and poking Ryosuke sharply in the chest.

Ryosuke’s free hand moved up to rub the spot where he’d poked him, his eyes narrowing at him using his full name like that because he never did that, not ever, and it served as just another example of how weird things had become between them. Frustration flared up at how things were suddenly spinning out of control, when all he wanted to do was tell Yuri how much he loved him, the words flying out of his mouth without his permission, his voice low, “What the hell are you talking about? ME!? The way I have been acting? Really?”

Yuri frowned at the attitude he’d used, trying to jerk his hand free, “Yes! Look at how you’re acting right now!”

The words were a hiss, both of them fully aware of how many ears there were in these hallways but unable to stop themselves once they’d gotten started. Ryosuke stepped into Yuri, his face so close he could feel his breath on his face, “Chinen, I swear to all that is good and holy—will you just listen to me! Just come with me and I’ll explain everything.”

“Chinen!” Yuri’s voice was scathing, scoffing at the formality of the name, knowing Ryosuke reserved it for when he was really trying to get under his skin, “No! You’ll explain now!”

“That’s enough!” Daiki’s voice was loud, causing them to both jump, startled, this unprecedented outburst shocking them both into silence.

Daiki shook his head, pushing the two of them into the group’s empty dressing room before they could make a bigger scene than they already had, giving them both a good shove in his frustration, hissing, “You two need to stop this! Right now!”

The boys stared at Daiki with wide eyes, as he hissed, “You’re both being damn idiots, and if you don’t get this over with right this minute I swear to Go—”

Ryosuke dropped Yuri’s hand, darting forward to shove a protesting Daiki out of the room in a flurry of batting limbs and shuffling feet, his eyes wide, his mouth open in shock when the door slammed in front of him, leaving him standing out in the hall alone. He tilted his head when he heard the lock engage, and then smiled, leaning forward to press his ear against the door.

Ryosuke turned to face Yuri after locking the door, leaning his back on the door for support for a moment, feeling the swelling nervousness, the pit of his stomach rolling as he felt like the ground was shifting under him, taking a deep breath, the terrifying reality that he was about to change their lives forever—without fully knowing where Yuri stood right now.

He’s worth any risk.

He took a deep breath, blinking to stop the tears that were threatening to flow, “I’m begging you, Ree, please, I want to talk to you, I do, that was always the plan.”

Yuri studied Ryosuke’s face, his heart beating wildly in his chest because this was him, this was his Ryosuke.

The Ryosuke he knows and loves.

My Ryosuke.

“O-okay,” Yuri nodded, suddenly wanting to reach out and console Ryosuke, to calm him down, “Okay.”

Ryosuke nodded sharply, stepping forward to close the distance between them, ignoring all the rowdy noises from the post-midnight celebrations happening among the groups and staff throughout the building, beyond the door separating them.

He swallowed roughly because there was no doubt, certainly, this was nothing like the opulent, lovely space he would have dreamed of doing this, yet, he had decided–he would not go another hour without having Yuri’s promise.

He took a deep breath, steeling his nerves, trying to calm down, to stop shaking, his heart thundering in his chest, “Yuri, I..”

“Ryo, I…”

They both burst into nervous laughter, shaking their heads, Ryosuke reaching forward, just needing to feel the connection to Yuri as he linked his pinkie finger with his own, “Go ahead.”

“No,” Yuri sighed softly, his eyes not having left Ryosuke’s since they’d entered the room, “I–I want to know what is happening, you…please, Ryo-chan…”

Please just love me.

Please still be my Ryosuke.

Please…I need you.

Please…I love you.

Please…I can’t survive without you.

“…Please, tell me what is going on…”

“I…I’m sorry, Ree…” Ryosuke tried to calm his nerves, not liking the way his voice was shaking…his hand reached into his pocket, running against the smooth edge of the ring, feeling a sense of peace falling over him, “I..If I was acting anything other than…me…I’m sorry, it’s just that I was…I had planned…to tell you…”

“Oh my God,” Yuri pulled his finger from Ryosuke’s, shrinking backward, because his tone, it sounded so formal, so final, the words a whimper, “This is it, there really is something going on isn’t there…”

“Wh–what?”

“Are you….what is it? What are you…hiding from me? I’ve been so…scared….” Yuri’s words were a jumbled mess, but Ryosuke didn’t have any trouble piecing together the meaning given the fact that it mirrored his own insecurities so much.

“Wh–what!?” Ryosuke didn’t mean to say the word so loudly, practically screeching it like a scream, immediately regretful when Yuri flinched from the pitch and tone causing Ryosuke to shuffle forward, his hands moving to rest on Yuri’s shoulders, leaning his head down to look him straight in the eyes, “I didn’t mean to make you worry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Ree…it’s nothing bad, I promise!”

Ryosuke couldn’t help but laugh, shaking his head, and then sobering, his voice soft when he spoke again, “Besides, it’s not me, it’s not me who’s been so strange, after all, it’s you! You’ve been acting weird for a while now, you know?”

Post link

“From the Beginning” Yamachii Fiction Collection

[2] Facing the Sea and Sky: From the Beginning Series

Facing the Sea and Sky as the World Melts

Title:[2.1] Absolutely Perfect
Pairing/Relationship:Yamada Ryosuke x Chinen Yuri
Chapter Rating:PG
Collection Rating: NC-17
Warnings:Chapter:None  Collection:  NSFW, Explicit Language, Erotica, Public Sex  
Genre: Romantic fluffy stupid boys in love, M/M, angst, moody boys  
Type:Collection

PLEASE NOTE:

This is a Yamachii Romance/Home Life and features the boys in a romantic/intimate relationship with one another.

“From the Beginning” MASTERPOST!

♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤

They had been practicing the new dance for hours, finally finished for the day the members were standing together drinking their water, and discussing some of the more challenging aspects and if they needed to make any changes to it to ensure they could breathe enough to still sing. Ryosuke jumped when the phone in his pocket began buzzing.

His eyes widened when he looked down at the phone screen, then immediately glanced up to find Yuri staring at him, his head tilting at whatever unexpected expression Ryosuke was displaying. He cleared his throat, “Excuse me.”

Shuffling as far away from the group as he could without going into the hallway, he answered the phone, “Hello, Nakamura-san.”

The man on the other end spoke immediately, “Yamada-san, everything is finished up, and I wanted to be sure that you’d received the images I emailed you?”

Ryosuke shifted to the side, moving the phone to the other ear in paranoia that somehow one of the other members would overhear the conversation, his eyes landing on Yuri’s narrowed ones, “Ah, yes, I actually did receive them, thank you.”

“I see,” Nakamura continued, “If you have any questions about them?”

“No,” Ryosuke’s mind flashed with the images that he’d seen earlier, his heart thundering in his chest as he turned away from Yuri’s inquisitive eyes, paranoid he might be able to read his mind, lowering his voice, “It looks absolutely perfect.”

“I am so glad to hear that!” Ryosuke could hear the smile in the man’s voice, he’d come highly recommended as a master craftsman, “So long as there’s no other changes you’d like I will requisition a courier to deliver the ring safely to you.”

“Of course,” Ryosuke’s tummy flipped just thinking about holding the ring in his hand, having it in his possession finally, “It’s exactly what I wanted, thank you so much.”

“Wonderful, that’s wonderful,” the man spoke excitedly, “I would like to send it by courier tomorrow—am I still sending it to the address you provided me?”

“Yes, that would be great,” Ryosuke nodded even though the man couldn’t see him, glad he’d made the delivery arrangements in advance so he wouldn’t have to speak about it now—having given the shop his parents address as his Mom would be home to accept the delivery whereas he might not be.

It also ensures Yuri doesn’t see it either.

“Thank you again for all of your help,” Ryosuke was beaming when he hung up the phone, turning to discover the other members still in a quiet discussion about changing one of their dance moves, freezing when his eyes landed on Yuri’s.

“Who was that?” Yuri’s voice was cold, his eyes unwavering as the rest of the member’s conversations faded off until they were all looking expectantly at Ryosuke.

It was a simple question, of course it was, and ideally, Ryosuke would have been prepared for it—but he certainly wasn’t, his mind whirling trying to come up with something, anything to say, swallowing roughly, “Th—that was…ah…”

“A gamer friend I know,” Yuto blurted out, his eyes meeting Ryosuke’s wide ones when he realized they must have heard his side of the conversation, at least some of it, “I asked him to send Yama-chan some of the gear he’d been drooling over, and he did that today.”

Ryosuke thought he should probably stop this before it got too out of hand, surprised at how smoothly Yuto was lying—not sure if he was impressed or concerned, but either way the decision was removed from his choice when Keito spoke up, “Yeah, he’s a great guy.”

Ryosuke looked from the two blatant liars to Yuri to find his eyes fixated on him, still narrowed, and Ryosuke had to concentrate to keep himself from shrinking away from him, attempting to put forward a confident air, nodding once, which produced a grunt from Yuri in response.

“Anyway,” Kota spoke so abruptly it made both of them jump, “If we can get this finished up so we can go home?”

“Yeah, of course,” Ryosuke nodded, uncomfortable with the way Yuri was staring at him, shifting nervously from foot to foot until Yuri shook his head and turned away to walk to the chairs across the room to take a long drink from his water bottle.

“You owe me,” Yuto whispered in Ryosuke’s ear causing him to twist to the side and shove him for scaring him so badly.

“I didn’t ask you to interfere,” Ryosuke hissed, his eyes flittering between Yuto and Keito both who were standing between him and Yuri at this point.

“I saved your ass,” Yuto stated as a matter of fact, “You could at least be thankful.”

“Sure,” Ryosuke shook his head, his hands resting on his hips in frustration, considering that there was a pretty high possibility he’d just made things worse instead of better, “Whatever—thank you.”

“You can also tell me what the hell I am covering for here,” Yuto leaned forward, his eyes burning into Ryosuke, “It’s not like I do this all the time or something, you know?”

Ryosuke nodded, his cheeks red with frustration, “Yeah, I’ll tell you, just…not here, not now, okay.”

Yuto saw whatever he needed to see to be assured he would be given an explanation, shifting to throw his arm around Ryosuke’s shoulder as they walked toward the row of chairs where Yuri was waiting, his voice low, “It better be good.”

Ryosuke laughed, shaking his head, shoving his elbow in Yuto’s side causing him to squeal, “It is, I promise.”

Ryosuke couldn’t have possibly been slumped down any further in the chair without spilling out into the floor, his eyes half closed as he watched Yuri flitting around the dressing room. He figured there was a fairly good chance he’d think he was asleep, which was fine, he wasn’t in a very good mood to start with, and now as he sat in anticipation of the next ten minutes, he couldn’t help but wish he was really asleep.

He could feel Daiki’s eyes on him from where he was sitting beside him and he resisted the urge to reach over and slap him to get him to stop staring, but that would be a dead giveaway that he wasn’t asleep.

Yuri had gathered up all of his stuff, cramming them into that bag that he’d bought him a few weeks ago that he’d lingered a little too long looking at. Then he shuffled over to stand between Ryosuke’s feet.

He slowly bent down until he could see Ryosuke’s eyes, tilting his head so cutely, his eyes sparkling in a way that made Ryosuke’s heart flutter like when they’d been pretending to not have feelings for each other but then his tummy fell out in fear of what was going to happen next.

“Hey you,” Yuri smiled, shuffling forward to push Ryosuke’s legs out of the way until he was standing close enough to him that Ryosuke’s view was limited to looking at the edge of his shirt hanging down over his jeans.

Ryosuke wanted to pretend to be asleep, even now, because he didn’t really want to pretend–but Yuri wasn’t about to have it, his leg shooting out to shove him impatiently, “Hey!”

Ryosuke looked up at him, his eyes were a little less glossy now, irritated at not getting the attention he was looking for, causing Ryosuke to sigh, “Yeah?”

“I have to go to my tumbling class today,” Yuri glanced over at Daiki, who was burning a hole through Ryosuke from his glaring at this point, “Dai-chan is taking me, but I’ll be home like…around 7:00?”

Ryosuke just stared at him, not breaking eye contact because hell to the no, he wasn’t about to make this easy for Yuri, if he was going to point blank lie–then he’d have to do it point blank looking right into his eyes.

Ryosuke shrugged, sinking impossibly further into the chair as he feigned disinterest, “‘kay”

Yuri stood there, still as a statue as he tried to make sense of Ryosuke’s attitude, looking to Daiki for a better understanding, but all he did was shrug, his eyebrows raising as he shook his head to indicate he had no idea what was happening.

“Okay…umm…” Yuri’s voice was soft, small and Ryosuke’s heart ached, and like any other time, he just couldn’t see this through, his hand snapping out to grab Yuri’s causing him to jump from being startled by the sudden movement.

“Be safe,” Ryosuke glanced up at him, his teeth clenching at the hurt reflected in Yuri’s eyes, and he wanted to just drag him into the room next door and force the truth out of him, but he just couldn’t do it, he wasn’t strong enough to hear whatever it might be. A part of him never wanted to know or understand whatever it could possibly be–his breath caught in his throat when Yuri leaned over to press a soft kiss against his cheek, not even looking around the room to assure they were alone, his lips tickling his skin as his warm breath brushed his ear, “I love you.”

Ryosuke wanted to grab him, shake him, and just scream, “WHY THEN!?”

He didn’t, he just gripped his hand tighter, waiting until he went to stand back up and pulled him closer to press a tender kiss against his lips because he didn’t care who was there either, frankly, and he wasn’t in the mood to care either, breathless as he tried to control himself, whispering, “I love you, too.”

Yuri stared at him, blinking rapidly before he took a deep breath, pulling his hand free as he gestured to Daiki, “I’m gonna be late.”

“Right,” Daiki scrambled up, his eyes wide as he watched Yuri walk quickly out of the room without looking back, glancing at Ryosuke questioningly before he shook his head and rushed out of the room after Yuri.

Ryosuke made a deep guttural sound, a feral noise that was something between a growl and an internalized scream, then jumped out of his skin when Yuto threw himself down in the chair next to him, his voice entirely too loud for the mood of the room, “What’s your malfunction?”

Ryosuke jerked his head to the side, biting his tongue because Yuto didn’t deserve the backlash of his emotional overflow, his fingers clenching into fists as he growled again.

Yuto studied him for a moment, his voice low, “Damn, Yama-chan what is wrong with you?”

Ryosuke took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to control his emotions, angry at himself when he felt a warm tear pool and then spill down his cheek, “He doesn’t have a tumbling class today–I saw a message he sent to his teacher this morning canceling.”

“Wh..what? He…” Yuto looked toward the door where Yuri and Daiki had left, like the answer was somewhere in those twenty paces that would make sense of it–but finding none, he glanced cautiously back over at Ryosuke because all he could think was that he was definitely going to explode in a fit of pure rage.

He frowned when he discovered not the Ryosuke he was anticipating, but instead a broken, pitiful boy who was terrified of what had just happened and what it might mean. He reached his arm out to hug Ryosuke awkwardly from the side, “I’m sure there’s a logical explanation…you shouldn’t jump to conclusions.”

Ryosuke frowned, scrubbing at his eyes in frustration as he jerked his shoulder to throw off Yuto’s arm, “It’s fine, I’m not, it’s nothing, I’m sure you’re right.”

“Yeah,” Yuto responded weakly as he watched Ryosuke grab up his jacket and bag and walk briskly out of the room without another word.

Yuto chewed at his lip, feeling utterly alone and wondering where Keito was at that moment–needing to talk this through with him. Shaking his head, he frowned, because he couldn’t help but be concerned about the words that kept flashing through his mind, dripping on his tongue asking to be spoken…

What if I’m wrong?

Daiki rushed down the hallway to catch up with Yuri who was quite literally stomping his way to the building’s exit. He fell into step beside him, glancing over cautiously to discover his brows were drawn down, his lips pursed in a sour expression, a low noise coming from him as a warning for Daiki to keep his mouth shut.

When they reached the door, they waved at the guard and then Daiki pushed forward, holding it open for Yuri who rushed past him toward his car. Yuri slammed the car door far harder than necessary, and Daiki resisted the urge to tell him he needed to calm down, but honestly, he’d never seen either of them act like this before, so he felt quite out of his element himself.

They’d driven exactly seven minutes before Yuri exploded in the seat next to him, causing Daiki to jump, swerving a little in response before he jerked his head over to see Yuri’s hands flying in the air around him as he went off.

“How dare him! I mean honestly! HOW DARE HIM! I literally am doing this for HIM–and he has the audacity to sit there and be all…all…what is that?! What is his issue!? What in the world is wrong with him anyway!? When I am going through all of this trouble, I mean I AM TALKING TO PEOPLE and having MEETINGS and doing all of this because I want to do something special for him and he has the nerve to be all ”'kay" to me. I’m gonna kick his ass.“

Daiki couldn’t help but laugh, because he was pretty sure that Yuri could kick Ryosuke’s ass without even trying because Ryosuke was nothing if not whipped when it came to Yuri–though, he couldn’t be sure of that at the moment given whatever was going on right now with him.

“He’s been acting like a crazy person, I can tell he’s not telling me something, but he just keeps smiling and distracting me, and I am so done with his stupid nonsense! He gets mad at me when all I’m doing is making something pretty for him! When he’s the one that is acting like a super-secret spy or something!”

He issued a loud, long growl, his fists hitting his knees, “I AM SO MAD!”

And confused…but mostly mad.

Daiki had remained silent, glancing over to look at Yuri, taking a deep breath, planning to talk Yuri down, but he was already off on another fit of yelling…Daiki decided to just drive, waiting for him to get it out of his system.

"He doesn’t deserve me! I’m gonna tell the shop to just forget it, to just not finish it, because why in the world would I go through all this trouble for someone who was going to be so stupid? I wouldn’t…I shouldn’t! Should I!?”

Daiki glanced over, realizing that Yuri had paused, his eye brows lifted, his expression expectant, and Daiki swallowed roughly, “You’re–You are asking me?”

“YES! Who else would I be asking!?” Yuri bellowed, and Daiki thought the windows shook from his rage.

“Well,” Daiki kept his eyes on the road, preparing to turn into the shopping center, “I think there must be a reasonable explanation for Yama-chan’s behavior and you should probably talk to him about it.”

“You know I can’t do that,” Yuri snapped instantly.

Daiki pulled the car into the parking spot and once he had the engine turned off he turned in his seat to look at Yuri, “And why is that again?”

Yuri crossed his arms, his brows drawn down as he frowned, “He’d figure it out! You know I won’t be able to not tell him.”

“I know you want to do this like this…but Chii-chan…maybe you should think about changi–”

“NO!” Yuri interrupted him, “Absolutely not! I have already decided this is what I am going to do, and I am going to do it this way!”

Daiki sort of wished he wasn’t in on this plan, like in any way at all, shaking his head as he opened the car door, waiting at the front bumper for Yuri to join him, then walking beside him as they approached the store.

“It’s not my fault Yamada wants to act like a spoiled rotten brat!” Yuri pushed forward, swinging the shop door open and entering the shop.

Daiki’s step faltered at Yuri calling Ryosuke 'Yamada’–he couldn’t think of a time in the last few years he’d done that–his eyes wide as he stepped into the shop and let the door close behind him.

Yuri was already at the counter talking to the man waiting there, and all Daiki could do was worry his lip in uncertainty that this plan of Yuri’s was maybe not the best in the world but, thankfully, it was nearly finished.

I just hope it is finished before they are…

Ryosuke figured there was only one way he was going to be able to rest that night–releasing all of the negative energy he had allowed to build up all afternoon in anticipation of Yuri’s supposed tumbling class. He’d normally suggest Yuri help him, so to speak, but given his current feelings he decided that was absolutely not going to happen—so, instead he hit the gym on his way home.

Even so, he realized fairly quickly that he could spend the whole night there sweating his ass off lifting weights and he wouldn’t feel any better. He knew he needed to figure out things and get to the bottom of what was going on but he just didn’t know how to approach it—where to even start.

He eventually gave up, taking a quick shower and then headed home, pushing the button on the console to call his Mom.

“Hello dear,” she answered happily, just the sound of her voice making Ryosuke instantly feel better, smiling when she spoke again, “What are you up to?”

“I’m driving home from the gym,” Ryosuke responded, slowing down for a red light.

“It’s awfully late for that isn’t it?”

Ryosuke glanced at the clock, surprised to discover it was nearly 7, and he was usually finished at the gym by 5 at the latest, “Ah, yeah, I guess I went a bit over—I was just needing to blow off some steam.”

“Uh-oh,” he could practically see the frown on her face, “Sounds like there’s a story here.”

“It’s really nothing,” Ryosuke shook his head despite her not being able to see him, moving forward with the traffic.

“Ryosuke.”

He sighed dramatically, making sure she’d hear it, not really willing to drag the conversation out, “It’s Yuri.”

“What happened!? Is he okay? What happened to him!? Do I need to co—”

“Mom! Mom! No! Oh my gosh, Yuri is fine, it’s nothing like that—he’s perfectly fine, nothing happened to him,” he laughed softly at what a mom she was even to Yuri.

“Oh, thank God, you scared me!”

“Sorry, I didn’t realize how it would sound,” Ryosuke took a deep breath, “It’s just, it’s nothing like that.”

“Then what’s it like?”

He wanted to keep quiet and act like everything was okay, but he really needed someone to tell him what to do, “Yuri is keeping something from me.”

“I see…” his Mom laughed softly, “Couldn’t it be something to do with Christmas?”

“No,” Ryosuke hated to say that, he wished it were that simple, “Yuri sucks at Christmas secrets, and there’s no way it’s something like that, he would have slipped up and said something to me.”

He sighed, and then he sat up straight as he was turning onto the road where their apartment was, “Wait, but…do you know something?”  

Feeling hopeful his voice was high, “Did he call you? Are you helping him?”

“No,” her voice was reluctant, “He hasn’t spoken to me about anything, I’m sorry honey.”

“It’s fine,” Ryosuke felt the sting of the lie on his tongue even as he said it, “I’m sure there’s a good reason…right?”

“Ryosuke,” her voice was firm, “Don’t be silly, of course there is a good reason—and I know you want me to tell you what to do, but you already know it—if you’re this upset and bothered you need to talk to him.”

“I don’t know what to say, how to approach it, ya know?”

“I understand,” and he knew she did, but his heart ached when she spoke again, “But you just said a few weeks ago that no one meant more to you than he did—and that you were going to make sure he knew for the rest of his life who he was to you—remember?”

“Yeah,” Ryosuke frowned, the conversation with his parents causing his heart to ache, “I remember.”

“Has he ever given you a single reason to doubt him?”

“No.”

“To be suspicious of him?”

“No…”

“Then you should trust him,” she was nodding, he just knew it, “He deserves your trust until he is able to talk about whatever it is that he’s keeping from you—and then he will deserve your compassion for whatever it is.”

“What could it be?” Ryosuke just needed to know, he wished he could understand.

“I couldn’t begin to imagine, but I know Yuri and he loves you—and that boy isn’t going to do anything that is going to harm you, so you need to simmer down and let him do what he needs to do and trust that he’ll confide in you when he’s ready.”

“When he’s ready?”

“Yes,” she affirmed, “You can’t push him if he’s not ready to talk about whatever he’s going through.”

“You think he’s going through something?!” Ryosuke had pulled into the parking garaged, setting the car in park, hands tight on the steering wheel, “He’s going through something that he can’t talk to me about!?”

“It would seem so, don’t you think?” her voice was soft, just the way it was when he was a child and she needed to help him with whatever crisis he was facing at the time, “Sometimes these things happen this way, but Ryosuke it is nothing to do with us and the power of our relationship or love for one another—there’s been many times I have had to keep something from your father until I was ready to share it.”

“Really?” that felt hopeful and Ryosuke rubbed his chest lightly as his heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest.

“Really,” she took a deep breath, “Trust Yuri, he’s always got you in his mind, and in his heart, he’s not going to do anything to hurt you—just love him and wait until he’s ready to share, okay?”

“Yeah, alright,” he wished he could sound more confident, “I’ll do my best, thanks Mom.”

“You’re welcome, stop worrying, and if you need me you know I’m here!”

“I know, I love you Mom,” he smiled at her voice when she responded, “I love you, too.”

They got off the phone and as Ryosuke made his way to the elevator, he felt a little bit lighter—because maybe it was just something that he needed to wait for Yuri to share, maybe he was just going through something and he needed time to process it or something.

Still…doesn’t that mean there’s actually something he thinks he couldn’t talk to me about?

Whatever hope he had seemed to instantly disappear like the air in a popped balloon, his heart heavy as he walked into the dark apartment, shuffling off his shoes and heading to the bedroom, wondering where Yuri was right now.