#yet another psa

I’m sorry for my extremely extended absence.

Yet another update under the cut. TLDR; I’m fine, nothing’s wrong, but the absence is going to continue for quite a while.

So one thing that this quarantine thing has done (yes it is still going on) is completely change my life goals and priorities. I don’t say that lightly - I mean that in a very literal sense. I’ve had a lot of time to take a very intense and scrutinizing look at what I am doing and where I want to be in life, and how much time I might have left to actually do anything with it. I put a lot of thought into where I am right now, what I cando, and what I want to do and where I want to end up. And it turns out that sometimes your idea of what life might be like ends up taking a complete 180 turn when you have the time and energy to focus on studying your headspace and ambitions.

Usually that involves career goals, but for someone like me who has never been to college and can’t afford it anyway, career is never something I’ve really cared a whole lot about. What I care about are projects.

So I’ve discovered a surprisingly intense passion for a new project that I never would have thought possible if it hadn’t been for being in quarantine, and I’m going all in. I’ve been taking a hefty chunk of the money I’ve been saving, and investing it into the equipment and resources I’ll need to make this project a reality, and I’ve been spending almost every waking moment doing research and taking notes and practicing/developing the skillset I’m going to need to hone in order to make it work.

Downside, my drawing and writing have become a very distant priority, and will remain so in the foreseeable future. I have no idea what that will mean for commissions, but as of now I haven’t actively contacted any of y’all who were interested so at least there’s no commitments I’ve had to cancel. I’ll probably open them up this year (at some point), but I’m making no projections or estimates at this point in time.

This project isn’t something that I think will recover the investment that I’m putting into it, and it might end up completely crashing and burning, but I have to try. It won’t ever happen if I don’t try, and in order to try I need to put a lot of time, thought, effort, and money into it before it can even get off the ground.

I don’t want to say what it is just yet. I’ve mentioned a few odds and ends to a couple people, but I think I’ve kind of glossed over and dodged a lot of specifics because it “sounds stupid”, so I apologize if it seems like I’ve never really given anyone a real rundown of anything I’m planning. I’ll update things on here again once I feel confident to do so, but don’t expect very many progress reports in the meantime. Right now I’m building the space I’ll need for this thing in my RV and waiting on the deliveries of the gear I’ve ordered.

I’m excited and terrified y’all. Despite all of the adventures I’ve had in life, when it comes to money and investments I’ve always played my cards extremely frugally and conservatively for fear of losing what I’ve worked so hard to get. I’ve never put myself out there and risked a whole hell of a lot for dubious returns before. This might be the biggest mistake of my life, particularly since this really amounts to nothing more than adding a very expensive hobby to my list of things I do. But again, I have to try.