#you do not get a cut on this post

for some reason I become outgoing when I travel idk. my dad’s the same way. I think it’s just nice to meet people you’re never going to see again. hear new stories. part ways. less pressure.

some interactions

• American couple next to me in a cafe trying to figure out how to tip–you literally can’t in some restaurants here and I said something like “yep, being from the US makes you allergic to not tipping” and we chatted. it’s just. true though? you can know all day that they make a living wage, they can make it impossible to tip in their system and you’re like “but…I have to.”
• we said something like this to the servers in Greece and explained why and they were so astonished by how fucked up America is. we’re like “WE KNOW. WE KNOW.”
• kid in the restaurant had a “lockdown leavers 2021″ hoodie and I was at first like “uhhhh” so I googled it and it (I didn’t want to judge if it was something nice) and turns out it means he graduated in 2021! so I congratulated him and got the biggest smile. I’ve never congratulated someone for graduating and I always thought it must be weird to be told that but I feel like it’s justified in right now.
• ate in the park and when I was done I sucked just a little bit on the lime that came with my fruit to get some of the bread taste out of my mouth (ineffective) (sour things are nothing to me, though I prefer lemon) and I looked up and a dude definitely watched me do it. I hope I was his unhinged person of the day. because that whole day was a series of absolutely bonkers humans for me.
• in the aquarium I once again had the answers for everyone wondering what that fish was. I got really excited upon seeing a boxfish and thank GOD I had a joke ready for “it gets stressed and blows up like a pufferfish and releases poison” because it is apparently wild when you tell people they’re one of your favs and follow it up with that. (note: “if I got stressed and did that…” lands here.)
• aquarium is near Big Ben/parliament which means I got to see it which means I crossed Tourist Bridge (real name? no) and there were people doing that cup & ball game where there are 3 cups and you have to find the ball??? I couldn’t believe that still happens and one guy walking past goes “they still do that in 2022??? what is this 1900??” me: RIGHT??? because. what.
• guy near houses of parliament had a little stand proclaiming that you should resist wearing a face covering on public transit. I have only been wearing my mask indoors (I am one of 3 people in the city doing this) but I saw this and immediately put on my mask. he did not try to give me a leaflet.

some more observations

• update on the walking situation: confirmed that there is no god here. I’ve also now seen the rules change (signs saying “keep left” or “keep right” in various walkway hallways) within stations. I’m trying not to let it make me crazy. it’s almost working.
• (GUYS PICK A SIDE IT MAKES THINGS EASIER JESUS CHRIST) (I’m a New Yorker I know about foot traffic!!! please!!)
• it’s one thing to know logically that British authors based their stories off of things in their real lives and the fact that the whole country sounds and looks like a storybook is a function of that, not the fact that it’s a fake place with fake place names. it’s quite another to be casually minding your business and see a kid on his way to fucking Hogwarts.
• (look, I know. I know. but bad people can write books that have a impact greater than themselves and no I’m not giving her any more money but it doesn’t change the fact that her book taught me that love is the greatest force in the world and also to eat the rich and I won’t apologize for that or pretend that otherwise just because she didn’t understand her own fucking work or because the internet is incapable of anything but black and white thinking)
• this is the only city I’ve ever been to that has a sense of humor about itself. some of the phrasing on signs is just…funny. American signs are never funny. once during the pandemic the park near my apartment did a series of joke signs all over it and we could not figure out whether it was a prank or real (it was real, I’m still shook about it)
• several official examples but my favorite that made me stop dead in the zoo of protestors/tourists/cops was the big banner from the people protesting the Tory government that included the line “Metropolitan please STOP STEALING OUR BANNERS”
• also hilarious: big group of protestors holding signs protesting Boris Johnson, I guess they’d been there a long time b/c they were kind of just casually chatting. British girl behind me says to her friend “imagine having time to stand around holding placards” … the US would never
• we take ourselves so god damn seriously and they just don’t. not even the people with the “SELF-SERVING LIARS ARE DESTROYING OUR NATION (PLEASE STOP STEALING OUR BANNERS)” banners. not the people walking past them. not fucking anyone.
• when there were regular ISIS protests going on outside the jails in NY I was like “right on, comrade” I would’ve glared daggers at and anyone deriding them. they weren’t chatting casually and no one walking past was roasting them. and the Johnson shit is just as serious!! this country is out of its mind!!! or maybe we are!!
• I know the issues with the cops here but. I got stuck behind a couple and you know every time that happens in the US I automatically look for their guns? and my whole body is tense the entire time they’re in my vicinity. it is. a feeling to do that and see only handcuffs and a baton. and I know, I truly know, the damage they’ve still done, and my skin was crawling when a lady asked them for a picture, but my god.
• public gardens originally for royalty now open to the public are always going to set my teeth on edge. they’re beautiful. the ones that used to be people’s private grounds for their own private bullshit are. listen. eat the fuckingrich.
• in Central London the trains come every 2 minutes?!??!?!?!
• if you run to catch the train in NY I am right behind you limping like a motherfucker on my swollen ass ankle. I’m never running to catch shit here.