Subtle hospital glam. Ambulatory medical tests require you to ‘go about your ‘normal&rsq

Subtle hospital glam. Ambulatory medical tests require you to ‘go about your ‘normal’ activities’ while undergoing the testing. This was my latest 24hr holter monitoring (ambulatory ECG). It happened to fall on my 10 year anniversary with my love.

This was taken as I was getting ready to go out for our date. Seeing these photos a week later, I look sad; even though that wasn’t my intention. On reflection I think I was sadder than my steel-braced consciousness was allowing me to perceive. A night or two later I had my very first enormous, sobbing, spluttering cry since the arterial dissection/stroke in 2013.

When I took these photos I intended to share them as a ‘looking glam and awesome, despite this ugly medical inconvenience’. I wanted to look peaceful. Divorced from that moment, instead, I look somber; almost funerary given my clothing.

Grieving is fucking hard. It’s even harder when it’s for yourself.