My elementary school had a pool which meant we had swim class regularly. I LOVED to swim and felt po

My elementary school had a pool which meant we had swim class regularly. I LOVED to swim and felt powerful in the water. But to reach that enjoyment first required me to brave the anxiety of walking out to the pool in my swimsuit in front of my peers to the bleachers where we would wait for class to start. I would hurry out, arms folded trailing behind somebody hoping I could hide behind them. I was a chubby kid and felt incredibly insecure and exposed in my suit. I couldn’t wait until we could jump in, where my body would dissolve and all you would visibly see of me was my head popping out above water. ⁣
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Summer was no different. I loved swimming and going to the beach. It was and still is one of my favorite things to do. But that meant my body being exposed for all of its, for what I saw as, unloveable imperfections. I was often one of the first in the water, and it wasn’t solely because I loved to swim.⁣
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I’ve gone through so much transformation since then that now I feel at home in a bikini. The idea of somebody judging me in one has no power over me. As I’ve developed the understanding of being worthy of love as I look now, it has muted the volume of insecurity inside of me. Everybody perceives beauty differently. I am allowed to exist and be seen and heard in this body as much as any other kind of body. I grant this freedom to you. It’s not our bodies stopping us from feeling lovable, it’s the mindset.⁣
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