0-V : sing your heart out — second skill         june fourteen. seoul art

0-V : sing your heart out — second skill

        june fourteen. seoul arts high school. wordcount: 852
               ( acapella ) lights by ellie goulding : 0:00 - 0:55 !

jungeun’s exhausted at this point. she tries not to display it but she’s ready to nap. no—she’s ready to hibernate. this day was really a test of her stamina and patience,the latter being run thin by certain people. ( one specifically named woojin. ) 

she almost screams grace when she hears the announcement for their allotted twenty minute break. aside from a short bathroom and refreshment break, jungeun decides to keep her focus on the audition. to her belief, any time spent that wasn’t towards getting a few minutes of practice was time wasted. so she decided to use it to practice for her second skill.  

until a few months ago, singing was more like a hobby. 

first and foremost, she was a dancer. in a group, she never thought of being assigned anything but main dancer. yet, the idol world is always changing and she has to change alongside it. she admits that she isn’t the best singer. yet she buffers the damage to her ego by thinking she’s not bad at all.apply practice where needed, that’s all. 

she finds herself a small corner that doesn’t have much people. she has learned that the second skill presentation was purely improv.so, she couldn’t stray too much from what she was good at. most importantly, she couldn’t stray from what she was comfortable at. 

she was not mariah. she was not whitney. she was not beyonce. 

she wasn’t even selena gomez. 

to put light on the shade, jungeun decided to sing lightsby ellie goulding. there wasn’t any vocal acrobatics jungeun would have to put her vocal cords in. but it also wasn’t boring.most importantly, it was a song jungeun could relate to. 

she thanks her time lived in america for strengthening her skill in the english language and subsequently, strengthening her understanding of the song. she found herself relating to parts of the song, the lyrics captioning certain parts of her personal journey. she remembers the darkness she felt last year, feeling trapped and unable to pursue her dreams. 

but that was in the past. completely in the past. she hammered that thought in her head throughout the day. she was here now, at the fifth mga’s, ready to pursue her dreams. 

she was happy that her first audition was for her strongest skill. in all honesty, she’s exerted most of her energy and effort towards her dance performance. she doesn’t regret it, knowing that she put her all into the skill she’s most passionate in.    

still, it doesn’t hurt to try. the twenty minutes pass in the blink of an eye ( and she isn’t so sure she was able to practice singing much ). 

the process repeats. stand by practice room, watch people practice, get called, walk in confidently. 

the staff in front of her are now familiar faces, but this is possibly ( yet not hopefully ) her final performance. she bows in front of them, “hello again, i’m kim jungeun and i’ll be singing ‘lights’ by ellie goulding today.” 

she starts to sing the song, taking her time to savor the song. she tries not to sing too fast out of nervousness and she tries not to sing too slow, making a snoozefest out of herself.

i had a way then 
losing it all on my own
i had a heart then
but the queen has been overthrown

her singing voice is light and airy as it always is. ( maybe even nasally at times, if you find her annoying. ) she closes her eyes, trying to feel the music that isn’t in the room. 

and i’m not sleeping now
the dark is too hard to beat
and i’m not keeping up
the strength i need to push me

she’s thankful that the song doesn’t require high notes, vibrato, or anything too advanced for her. it requires sounding good at least, so she tries to annunciate the words to her best ability. she doesn’t mumble, afraid of turning into an indie girl meme on american twitter.  

you show the lights that stop me turn to stone
you shine it when i’m alone
and so i tell myself that i’ll be strong
and dreaming when they’re gone
cause they’re calling, calling, calling me home
calling, calling, calling home
you show the lights that stop me turn to stone
you shine it when i’m alone
oh

she continues to sing, eyes fluttering open as she nears the end of the chorus and her performance. she ends the last line with an added oh, a word that wasn’t in the original. she bows to the judges once more, thanking them. 

“thank you.” jungeun says. 

“thanks,” one of the staff members say, obvious wear in their voices. she remembers she wasn’t the only one that was absolutely exhausted. she hopes that her performance, her overall performance, was enjoyable enough for her to move on to the next round. but it was out of her hands now and into the universe’s. she did what she could, she tried her best.  “you may return your nametag and leave. good luck.”