2/1/2019I remember all the little things that made me fall in love with you over and over every week

2/1/2019

I remember all the little things that made me fall in love with you over and over every week.  I would watch you when you weren’t looking to see the way your nose moved when you spoke.   The days we would lay in bed and I would rest my head on you.  The way your touch made me feel alive and calm and at peace.  I remember the way your skin felt when I touched your cheek.  They way your hair felt when I ran my fingers through it.  The softness of your lips when they met mine.  They way your eyes sparkled in the sunlight.  I can’t stop thinking of all the things that I love about you because I’ve had 29 years to learn them all.  I wanted another 29 years, but you fell out love with me.  My heart has never felt the same.  I try to move on and friends tell me it will get better.  That everything happens for a reason.  That something better will find me, but all I can see is how none of it compares to what we had.  My heart no longer wants love.  It no longer wants to feel.  I no longer want to exist without your love because all I feel is emptiness and despair.  I long for the sensation of your touch, your look, your smile, your kiss, your love.  Without you, without us, without our love, I feel the cold hard steel of my fate pressed against my head waiting for the courage to end the pain and emptiness.  When does it get better?