The Sacrifice part 2

This is the second part of a three part mini-series. Part one is here and my masterlist is here. I hope you enjoy it, let me know if you want to be tagged in the final part! DOOWEEEOOOO!

Eventually, as she always does, River left. The Doctor stared at the space she once occupied. Something felt off… he felt off. He was alone in a way that he had not been since he met Rose all those years ago. Even the idea of reuniting with Amy and Rory did not ease his sense of heartache. There was something missing, something important. Something so important that it was written on his hearts, even if it was out of reach of his mind. He tried to shake the feeling, to bury it and move on, but he couldn’t, not with this. 

Telling himself that it must’ve been some weird after effect of being drugged, he decided to ignore it and focus instead on Amy and Rory who he needed to pick up from Amsterduke. He maneuvered the controls and held on as the TARDIS took off. Finding the couple was easy as he merely had to ask where the humans were. They were both very glad to see him, as they had gotten into a bit of a pickle themselves. Once it was all said and done and everyone had made it back to the TARDIS, they all had a good laugh about it. 

Though even as they were joking around, Amy could see the loss in her friend’s eyes. She wondered what had happened in the short time that they were separated, but decided that it was better that she didn’t ask.

The next morning, the Doctor was getting ready to wake everyone up for the upcoming adventure and doing some light ready as he journeyed through the halls as he had done countless times before. Head still in the book, he reached out for a doorknob that wasn’t there. He looked up to see that he stood before a blank wall. While the TARDIS did like to move things around on occasion, this was peculiar. The Doctor racked his brain but couldn’t remember anything ever being in that spot. Yet, he felt so drawn to it. There *was* something there, there had to be.

“Doctor?” Amy asked puzzled by his attention to the wall.

“Hmm? Yes. Sorry, just had a thought.”

‘That’s always dangerous. Should I start running or hide?’ she joked. 

“Hey!” he feigned offense.

“What? I didn’t say anything,” Amy asked looking slightly concerned.

“Of course not, where were we?” he asked, an unsettling feeling taking over again.

“Are you alright?” 

“Amy, sweet married Amy, in all our time together I thought by now you would have learned better than to ask such a silly question. I’m fine. No, I’m better than fine I’m great! Now go grab Rory and get ready to see Venice.”

Over the next two months, there were many moments like the one above. The Doctor would find himself with certain objects, places, or phrases and feel like there was something off. It was like they should mean something to him other than what they did. Sometimes he’d catch himself having two-way conversation, but whose words came to mind he couldn’t tell. All he knew is that the didn’t belong to him. It always came in short waves, and it was getting harder and harder to ignore. He’d spend his nights wandering through the TARDIS to see if anything would trigger something. He was grasping at straws, but had no choice. He felt incomplete, like whatever it was that he had forgotten or lost was the last piece of a puzzle that he hadn’t even truly been aware that he’d been solving. The problem was that he wasn’t able to see the whole picture without that piece, and he couldn’t find that piece without seeing the whole picture.

Amy and Rory noticed his change of demeanor regardless of how he tried to hide it. They were starting to get worried about him and tried to keep his mind busy. They purposefully avoided bringing it up, not wanting to upset him. That was until one day his distractedness had almost gotten him killed. It was on that day that once they were safely back in the TARDIS that Amy forced him to sit down.

“Okay, talk,” she ordered.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been hiding something from us, and it’s about time you clued us in,” she replied.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the Doctor lied. 

“Yes, you do. It’s been happening for a while now. It’s like no matter where we are or what we are doing that part of your mind is somewhere else. And we’ve tried to give you your space, but obviously, that hasn’t helped, so spill it.”

“I’m fine, you are reading too much into things Amy.”

“No you’re not, and it almost got you killed today, so we aren’t leaving here until you talk about it.”

“Rory, tell Amy that I’m fine,” the Doctor sought help.

“Honestly, Doctor I agree with her. Something’s off and it’s obviously something important if it’s affecting you this much,” Rory agreed.

The Doctor felt like a child who’d gotten caught sneaking a cookie out of the cookie jar. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell them, but what was he supposed to say? He didn’t know what was wrong, not really. If he did, he would have been able to do something about it by now. But there was something missing, or rather someone. And they were important, incredibly important. 

“Doctor?” Amy said voice changing from accusatory to concerned as she noticed a stray tear escaping his eye.

“It’s okay, whatever it is we’ll help you through it,” Rory added.

“That’s the problem,” he whispered.

“What is?” Amy pried. 

“You can’t help me, I can’t even help me.”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“Something happened while you guys were in Amsterduke. I have no clue what it was, but I lost something-someone there. And no matter where I look or how hard I try to remember, it’s just missing. Someone’s missing, someone important, someone I think I loved. But there is no indication that they ever existed except in small traces of familiarity,” he paused for a moment before adding, “It’s like there are all of these memories just under the surface and without the I am but a shell of the person I should be.”

The Doctor was now close to tears. His heart hurt and talking about it didn’t make it better. Amy and Rory probably thought he was crazy. If he didn’t know any better, he’d probably think he was crazy. Maybe he was crazy. 

“Okay, so tell us everything that you remember about that day,” Amy started. 

“That’s just it, I remember dropping you lovebirds off at Amsterduke. Then I remember coming to only to see River. I had no idea where I was, only that I was in pain. She brought me back to the TARDIS and the two of us did our usual banter, she left, I picked you up, we went to Venice,” the Doctor explained.

“And what about these memories? What has been triggering them?” Rory asked.

“Different things, sometimes its phrases, like pieces of a conversation I’ve already had. Or it’s reaching for something or looking somewhere where there is nothing, but that I feel something should be. It’s hard to explain.”

“Maybe this mystery person was erased like Rory was? I couldn’t remember him, but nothing he did changed. The timeline just adjusted. Maybe we can’t remember because we are humans, but they aren’t completely erased from you because you are a timelord?” Amy suggested.

“Amy, the crack in your wall was an anomaly something like that was a one time thing. This is different.”

“Maybe so, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a different anomaly. Come on Doctor, even with all of the places and things that you have seen or heard of, surely it is possible that this is something similar,” Rory added.

“Even if you’re right, that doesn’t help. I don’t know where the anomaly was, when the anomaly was. And Amy was barely able to bring Rory back, so….” the Doctor’s face fell as he realized how hopeless the situation was.

“So it looks like we need to find River,” Rory interrupted.

“She’s the only one who can fill in the blanks of what happened that day. Maybe we can go back to that planet and find something or someone who knows something. We can’t give up on this without at least trying. You owe yourself that much,” she reasoned.

The Doctor sat there for a moment thinking everything over. Maybe, just maybe this could work. He had come out against worse odds in the past. It was at least worth a shot. He jumped up and spun around smile reappearing on his face as he readjusted his bowtie, “Off to see Professor River Song!”

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The Sacrifice - part III

Okay guys here is the finale. I honestly still don’t know how I feel about it and might release an alternative ending at some point. Regardless, I hope you enjoy it. You can find the first two parts and the rest of my writing here: Masterlist

“It took you long enough,” River said without even turning to see who had entered.

“River, we-I-,” the Doctor stammered.

“We need you to tell us what really happened while we were on AmsterDuke,” Amy spoke up firmly.

“Do you want me to keep it PG-13?” River tried to joke, but her heart clearly wasn’t in it.

The Doctor and River usually had a very entertaining dynamic going on. It was like they were playing a flirtatious game of intellectual cat and mouse. Each one pushing the other’s buttons in the best possible way. But today was different. Already, there was a weight on the conversation and the fact that River had yet to face them was telling in itself.

“Please River, whatever happened that day, no matter how bad it was I need to know,” the Doctor decided. The softness of his voice was heartbreaking.

“I can’t tell you what you want to know, you know how the rules work. If I interfere, the timeline will be set in stone. Then there is nothing you’ll ever be able to do to bring back- to fix things,” River explained.

“What can you tell me? What planet I was on? Why was I there? Who was I with? I can hardly remember anything about that day and the TARDIS has no records of anything. You are the only one who knows anything,” the Doctor said irritatedly.

River then turned and looked him in the eyes, and he saw that she had been crying. He could not remember another time that he saw her look so broken. He felt bad for his harsh words, he knew that the role she played in this was not one easily carried. “I lost someone, I think you did too. But I can’t even attempt to bring her back until I know more. So please, if there is anything that you can tell me to help not only me, but her too, I’m begging you River,” the Doctor softly pleaded.

“You dropped off Amy and Rory at AmsterDuke and went to Brisinger to waste time. It was going to be a big day for you, as you decided to do something that you had been putting off for far too long. You were distracted and were captured. Time there was rupturing, the whole system was on the brink of collapse. They needed you to fix the rupture and were prepared to make you autonomous so you wouldn’t fight the process. You would have practically been dead. She could never let that happen so she made a deal and took your place,” River explained carefully.

“When she fixed the rupture, her existence was rewritten. That’s why I can’t remember her. But how come you do? How did you know to come get me?”

“I received a phone call asking me to come and make sure that you would make it back to the TARDIS, to make sure that you would be okay. She made sure to leave me your sonic screwdriver so I would be able to find you and get you out of there.”

“But that still doesn’t explain why you are the only one who remembers her,” Amy decided.

“My past is your future. Our timelines don’t always line up.”

“But if your past is our future that means that we save her, because otherwise you wouldn’t know her.” Rory reasoned.

“Time can be rewritten,” the Doctor replied, clearly deep in thought. He had the feeling that the key to everything he needed to know was on the edge of his brain. She was imprinted on him, it was just a matter of finding the right memory to unlock everything else. “River, is there anything else that you can give us, anything at all?”

“Anything I say risks you never being able to see her again, you know that.”

“I know,” the Doctor agreed, clearly frustrated as he wracked his brain for anything that could be helpful.

River checked her watch, “Well, you’ve better be going. Kaltishdoctria is waiting for you. And besides that, you are about to be getting an important phone call,” River said and her entire face shifted as if something had signaled to her that everything was about to work out.

“Kaltishdoctria? We are not going anywhere until we figure this out!” Amy replied.

Then the Doctor caught on, River had told him exactly what he had needed to know. “Come along Ponds, we have places to be and people to save!” he said excitedly all but pushing the confused married couple towards the TARDIS.

As if almost exactly on cue, the TARDIS phone rang as they entered. The Doctor raced to the line.

“River told me that you would be calling…..yes….of course….well I’m sorry that I temporarily forgot someone who was completely erased from existence….hey now, that’s completely uncalled for….I am not!….I do….I will….Thank you or should I say thank me?” he laughed before hanging up, mood the brightest it had been since that dreadful day.

“Doctor what was that? Who were you talking to?” Amy asked.

“I was talking to myself. Well the me of the past who River sent back to figure out exactly what happened that day.”

“But if that was the you of the past, why didn’t you remember before now?” Rory asked.

“Because I hadn’t gone back until just now. I can’t remember things that I haven’t done yet, now can I Rory?” the Doctor beamed.

“Okay so what exactly do you know now Doctor?” Amy asked, knowing better than even trying to understand all of the timey wimey stuff that the Doctor had just said.

“I know who, where, and when Y/n is and more importantly, I know how to save her. So hold on to something, we are off to Kaltishdoctria!”

As the Doctor said your name, Amy’s and Rory’s memories of you came flooding back. And then the Tardis’ screen translated Kaltishdoctria for them, ‘Lover of the Doctor’. Things were falling into place and within no time, they landed on the planet. Before they exited the TARDIS though, the Doctor disappeared to find something, a yellow glowing orb that he stuck in his pocket.

“You two stay here, I don’t feel like babysitting today,” he joked, straightening up his bowtie excitedly. He was about to exit the TARDIS when he ducked in the back one more time, this time reappearing with his favorite red fez which Amy could have sworn had been destroyed.

“Special occasion calls for special attire,” the doctor explained briefly before exiting the TARDIS. As he walked around the city, he was getting flashbacks from that day which were filling in the remaining blanks he had. His hearts were swelling with every thought of you. What little anger he felt at you for doing this for him, was easily overtaken by his concern for you, and both of those things would easily melt away when he had you back in his arms.

The Doctor was so distracted by thoughts of you that he didn’t really register that something was off. He used his psychic paper to get in to see the leader.

“Ahh, Doctor you have returned. I suspect that you’ve heard the news,” he said gravely.

“I have come for Y/n, but don’t worry I have brought you an orb of Vertex energy that could last a millennia,” he said, pulling the glowing ball out of his pocket.

“You would do that for us, even after everything we have taken from you?” the leader asked almost as if he was afraid to get his hopes up.

“You were scared and trying to prevent the death of your people. The way you went about it was wrong, but the intention was noble. Bygones are bygones. Please just take me to her.”

“You should know that her condition is not our fault. She refused to be automatized. We told her that it would burn her out, but she wouldn’t listen. She wanted to remember, she couldn’t stand the thought of losing you,” the leader explained.

The Doctor stopped in his tracks, “What is wrong with her condition?” Even as the words left his mouth he got that dangerous glint in his eyes. The one that reminded everyone that he had seen and done unspeakable things in his life and was not to be messed with.

“I’m so sorry, we thought it was the only way. We honored her wishes. There was nothing else we could do,” the leader fumbled.

“I am being extremely calm, all things considered. And I will remind you that you are speaking about someone that I love. So I will ask you one more time and only one more time what is wrong with her condition.”

The leader looked like he was trying to find the words to explain but then decided against it. He took a few more steps forward to the control room and gestured for the Doctor to follow. He then ordered that the guards unlock the capsule which said ‘15% - 4 days left’.

It is then that he realized what was happening. “How long has she been here?”

“Centuries for us, but time works differently in the stabilizer.”

Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw when they finally got everything open. You were unconscious, pale, and hardly breathing.

“I have to get her to the TARDIS,” the Doctor decided, voice tight with emotion, especially after noticing his favorite bowtie held in your hands.

“Her body will fail if you remove her. Those four days will be reduced to hours at the most, and our planet will die before everyone has a chance to evacuate,” one of the scientists argued.

“No,” the doctor said in disbelief. His mind was racing. You were not going to die. He was not going to allow it. Not after everything that you had been through, everything that you had sacrificed for him. He had already lost you once and he doubted his hearts would survive losing you again. Not before he got to tell you that he- well that could wait. He was going to think of something. He would save you, save the planet, save the day. He was the doctor, that was what he did. “No,” he repeated again, but this time it was more of a command. ‘No’ you were not allowed to die, ‘No’ the planet would not fall, not today.

The doctor spun, running all of the calculations in his head. This plan was risky, but all of his best ones usually are. It would work, it would have to. “Okay, take this and plug it into the pod. I’ll take Y/n and we’ll be on our way.”

No one dared question him, they did exactly as he said. He leaned in to pick you up and carry you bridal style to the TARDIS. “It’s okay Y/n I’m here, and I’m going to get you fixed up, and then we’ll pick up right where we left off. Y/n and the Doctor, Amy and Rory, all of space and time, every last star in the universe. You just have to hold on for a few more minutes. Just stay with me. Please.” He hoped that somehow, you could feel his presence, that you found some reassurance or sense of safety in his arms.

When he got to the TARDIS, he rushed past the medbay, past the room of yours that had reappeared, and to his own room. He laid you in his bed and looked at you with a pain in his chest that he had not felt in some time. There was no doubt in his mind or hearts that what he was about to do was the right choice.

He laid beside you and pulled you into his arms. We closed his eyes and willed his regeneration energy to heal you. He was willing to give up his twelfth and final regeneration to have you by his side for the rest of this one. He didn’t want to be the doctor without you. Not again. You had made a choice to save him, and this was his choice to save you.

He opened his eyes, only to see that nothing was happening. He tried again, but nothing happened. “No,no,no,no. This isn’t happening. This is my choice! I am going to save her!” he shouted at the universe. He willed his regeneration energy again, but it was to no avail. He scanned you with his sonic screwdriver, your body was failing, you were dying. Tears threatened to escape his eyes. This wasn’t fair. He wasn’t supposed to lose you again. He struggled to force himself away from you and to get Rory. If he couldn’t save you with Timelord science, he would have to trust Rory to save you with Human medicine.

As soon as the Doctor stepped out of the room, the door slammed shut behind him. He turned around and tried to open the door, but it wouldn’t budge. “Open this door right this instance!” he shouted at the TARDIS. She hummed ferociously in response. He pulled out his sonic and tried to force the door open. He was absolutely appalled. Before he could consider his next move, there was a loud scream from inside his room. Your scream.

“Y/n!” the Doctor yelled, trying to get the door open even more frantically.

As if on cue, the lights and power went out in the TARDIS. The next thing he knew, the TARDIS was falling through space. He should have went to the control room to try and fix things, or maybe to check that Amy and Rory, but he couldn’t leave you.

His mind was racing with what could be happening behind the door. He needed to find a way to get it open. Maybe if he- His thoughts were cut short when a familiar yellow glow began to shine from under his door. A twinge of hope sparked in his chest.

“No way. It’s never been done. Not once in the history of Galifrey,” The Doctor muttered under his breath, sinking to his knees.

The Doctor prayed to everything that he was right about what was going on beyond that door. He was about to find out as everything in the TARDIS restarted and he heard the lock unclick. He nervously fumbled with the door knob before letting himself in the room. You were in the bed where he left you, but you no longer looked like you were on the brink of death. Instead, you looked healthier, almost glowing.

He wondered how long it would take you to wake up, but even as he had the thought, you started to shift. “You had me worried you know,” the Doctor said as he went to your side. Your eyes fluttered at his words. Upon realizing who uttered them, you tried to force yourself up. “Take it easy. How are you feeling? Hungry? Thirsty?” he asked as he scanned you with his sonic screwdriver just to confirm his suspicions.

“Where am I? What happened?”

The Doctor frowned, “You’re safe, in the TARDIS. What is the last thing you remember?”

“We dropped Amy and Rory off for their honeymoon. We were trying to decide where to go next, and then it all goes blank,” you explain furrowing your eyebrows at whatever you were missing.

“Well, I took you to a planet and you decided to save my life, getting a little banged up in the process. But it’s okay now, you’re safe, and we’re together, which is what is important,” he said, pulling you into his arms.

You were going to push the issue, but you felt his hot tears on your shoulder and decided that it could wait. The Doctor’s whole world had almost fallen apart and for the first time he was allowing himself to feel all of it. “I love you, you know that?” he whispered. He had waited too long to tell you those three simple yet complicated words, and he could not wait another second.

“I love you too,” he replied, concerned with his current state. You had never seen him so completely vulnerable before. You were going to say something else, but Amy’s voice was heard shouting from the hall.

“Doctor? What the hell just happened? Is everything okay?”

The doctor pulled away from you, wiping his eyes and smiling widely. He was about to stand up when Amy and Rory barged in.

“What is it the two of you always say? ‘Bedroom - we have a rule’ and then you have the audacity - the audacity to not even knock?” The Doctor tried to chastise before the smile took over his face.

Amy rolled her eyes and walked past him to pull you into a hug, Rory close behind. The Doctor joined in soaking in everything.

In the coming days, you would catch the doctor staring at you when he didn’t think you could see him. His glancing came with a mix of admiration and guilt. When you asked Amy about it, she simply said that almost losing you shook him up hard.

The four of you quickly fell back into your rhythm of going on adventures and saving the day. You never remembered what had really happened during your time on Brisinger, but from seeing how much it still affected the Doctor, you assumed that it was for the best. Your mind would drift to the confessions made when you first woke up, but you never brought it up. At least not until you wandered out to the control room one night to see the Doctor sitting at the TARDIS door with his feet hanging out, looking at the stars.

You walked over to him, causing him to glance over his shoulder at you. A smile forming on his face, “What are you doing up?” he asked.

“I couldn’t sleep,” you answered, taking a seat beside him, “I don’t think I will ever get used to this,” you smiled as you took in the scene before you. The two of you fell into a comfortable silence just taking everything in. “Doctor?” you spoke, breaking the silence.

“Hmmm?”

You paused, you hadn’t even know what you wanted to say. You wanted to ask him about that night, to make a move, anything really. But instead, your nerves took over. There was so much at stake, and he was absolutely everything, how could you even begin to…

“Y/n? Are you okay?” he asked, turning to face you completely.

“Yeah, sorry, forget I said anything,” you made up your mind, looking once again at the stars.

“You know, I think you shine brighter than all of those stars combined,” the Doctor admitted. You couldn’t help but blush as you met his eyes. You were suddenly aware of how close the two of you were. “That day on Brisinger, I was planning on telling you how I felt. How out of all of time and space you are the single most enticing, intriguing, incredible girl that I have ever met. That I would not trade a moment of us together for anything. I had finally worked up the courage to tell you how insanely in love with you I have been since you first agreed to join me. And then with everything that happened, I got scared, I tried to push down my feelings again because I thought that in some way that would make you safer,“ he explained. You were about to interject, but he continued. "But every single time I look at you it’s like the universe is trying to tell me that the risk is nothing compared to the reward….I guess what I’m trying to say is that you are practically the best thing that has ever happened to me and that I love you,” he finished nervously.

“You’re not too bad yourself,” you joke before leaning in to kiss him, catching him slightly off guard before he melted into it. When you pulled away you saw his goofy grin.

“You do not know how long I’ve wanted to do that,” he beamed.

“So, what does all of this mean?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are we together now? I mean do Timelords even date?”

“Of course Timelords date,” he feigned offense, causing you to laugh. He then stood up and took an exaggerated bow, “Y/f/n Y/l/n, would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?” he said, offering you his hand.

“Well, considering you are the only other single person on this ship,” you joked before standing up and putting your hand in his. He used it to spin you around, before kissing you again.

“Rory! Get out here and pay up!” Amy yelled from the entryway to the control room.

The surprise of her voice almost caused you to fall out of the TARDIS doors which were left open in the heat of the moment.

“Amy…” the Doctor whined like a little child whose toy was taken away.

“I’m sorry, but I won the bet fair and square and I am getting my money. It took you two long enough,” she replied smiling.

Rory came out and handed her a twenty dollar bill, “You guys couldn’t have held off for another couple weeks?”

Laughter filled the room and for a small shimmering moment all was right in the world of the Doctor.

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