#250 words smash

First 250 Words Smash! #43

Most Wonderful Author: Emmy
Most Evil Critique Master: Sarah
Working Title: Event Horizon

The impact of the hard ground jarred his senses, forcing a soft grunt and air from his lungs. Fighting back the pain and catching his breath, the boy scrambled to his feet and continued to run, shedding bits of gravel and dirt from his hands and knees. The echoes of gunfire and whistling artillery shells, and the dull orange glow of a land engulfed in flames only worsened his fear and confusion. All around him in the midst of smoke and stars stood tall, faceless phantoms. Some spoke words, but they were muffled and unintelligible. The boy tried his best to weave around and avoid running into them, but his legs, burning and crying for rest, refused to obey. Clumsily pushing through the crowds and eliciting several angry responses, he continued to flee.

Got some more advice for you on pacingandcharacter voice! Read the rest of this intro and our tips on the bloggity blog.

Remember, we’re currently closed to new entries, but we’ll let you all know once we’re open again. We’ve still got plenty to burn through!

(And if you’re a new follower and have no idea what the heck this word smashing thing is, check out this nifty post!)

First 250 Words Smash! #42

First of 2014 Super Awesome Author:Sadie
Still in Dinosaur Years Editor: Victoria
Working Title: N/A

In the morning stillness, Desdemona could only hear her own footsteps. She was walking slowly so she could scan the ground, but her efforts were only serving to frustrate her further.

She bent. Pressed a hand to the ground. Grimaced, since the moisture of the spongy earth rushed to engulf her fingers.

Everything was brown, soggy, and mostly dead.

She clicked a soft noise of irritation with her tongue and stood once more, continuing her slow walk. Her attention wandered, though, over the mossy trees and mushy dirt in the distance. It was hard to have hope when the forest looked like a dying swampland.

If you need more examples on showing versus telling, check out the rest of the intro and what we had to say about it on the bloggity blog.

Remember, we’re currently closed to new entries, but we’ll let you all know once we’re open again. We’ve still got plenty to burn through!

(And if you’re a new follower and have no idea what the heck this word smashing thing is, check out this nifty post!)

First 250 Words Smash! #41

Most Wonderful Author:Jinny Jones
Most Evil Critique Master: Sarah
Working Title: N/A

“Why do you wear a hood all the time, even indoors?” she came right out with it and covered her nervous expression with a sip of her coffee.

“I’m a very private person. Why do you keep yourself so closed off from others?”

“I’m afraid of being abandoned and hurt. What are you hoping for out of this, you don’t strike me as the normal dating type, what’s really going on here?” she raised an eyebrow and he chuckled freely, carefully placing his cup back on the table.

Read the rest of this lovely intro and some tips and examples how how to make prose run more smoothly on the bloggity blog!

Remember, we’re currently closed to new entries, but we’ll let you all know once we’re open again. We’ve still got plenty to burn through!

(And if you’re a new follower and have no idea what the heck this word smashing thing is, check out this nifty post!)

First 250 Words Smash!

Most Wonderful Author:Renee
Most Evil Critique Master: Ange
Working Title: N/A

I swung the brass-

Wait, you need to hear the beginning first. I can’t leave it out. I’m sorry.

I want you to know that I wasn’t always a bad person before I tell you what I did.

The beginning wasn’t at my birth. There were years worth of pieces that tied together to make the beginning.

My father. The way anger would distort his long face. The scar across his bottom lip, shaped like a half moon. The way he’d take me outside in the mornings he was home and watch birds with me. The weeks that went by without anyone hearing a word from him. He would come back with bruises and cuts on his face.

If you’ve been considering starting your story with expositionorbackstory, take a look at the rest of this intro and our critique. I’ve seen on-point advice on how starting with background information might not be a good idea, but we tried to really illustrate whyhere.

If you’re still waiting on your critique, you’ve been awesomely patient and we appreciate it! We’re either finished or are currently working on intros submitted before April 8 at 6:38 a.m. PST, so if you submitted after this time, feel free to revise and resubmit a more updated version. Just make sure you mark in your subject header that this is a revision!

(And if you have no idea what this word smash thingy is, read this.)

First 250 Words Smash! #54

Most Wonderful Author: Kamil
Most Evil Critique Master: Aly
Working Title: N/A

The driest place in the world is in Antarctica. You wouldn’t think it with the whole continent being made of ice, but it’s actually true. Right in the middle, there’s a place scientists like to call the Dry Valleys where there’s no ice at all, just crust. It hasn’t rained there in more than a million years and any moisture that manages to roll down into the valleys from the surrounding ice shelves is immediately evaporated by winds rushing through at 200 miles per hour: cold enough to freeze your skin solid or fast enough to rip it off. Oddly enough, even the Dry Valleys aren’t devoid of life. A kind of bacteria called extremophiles thrives off the harsh environment and lack of competition for food.

Read the rest of this intro plus more tips on figuring out if you’re starting your story in the right place on the bloggity blog!

(And if you have no idea what this word smash thingy is, read this.)

First 250 Words Smash! #53
Most Wonderful Author: Hafza
Most Evil Critique Master: Rebecca
Working Title: “Those Who Walk the Darkness”

“Shh, yes, that’s it.” His mother’s voice guided his hand. There was a shift and he slipped. “Oh, be careful, it’s hard to get good ones like these now. They’ve started watching now.”

“But they can’t always be watching, right, Mummy?” His voice was small and childish in the flickering lamplight. There was a low laugh from beyond the edge of the light.

“That’s right, my son. They can’t always be on guard. The darkness cannot be banished for long, and they can’t escape the shadows forever.” He finished his last stroke and reached for the cloth to wipe. “You’re not finished yet.” His mother’s voice was sharp. He sighed as only a small child can, dramatic and exhaustive. “Moth-er!”

If you’re starting your story with a scene of shockandsuspense, read the rest of this intro and find some tips on the bloggity blog about whether or not it’s working!

(And if you have no idea what this word smash thingy is, read this.)

First 250 Words Smash! #52

Most Wonderful Author:Bree
Most Evil Critique Master: Annie
Working Title: Grim Magician

On the sixth of September, Aunt Joysa died. Calette didn’t much care until a few weeks later, when her father spoke the name of the deceased in the middle of supper. He went on cutting his asparagus as though he thought he would get away with it, but her mother stilled in an instant and said, “Dalbern, I will speak with you later this evening.”

“Of course,” her father said, reaching for his wine with trembling hands. The children snuck glances at one another, except for Calette, who knew better.

The house was quiet by ten that night. Calette trailed her fingers over cold doorknobs as she moved down the hallway: six rooms for six children, all frozen silent.  Now down the dark staircase, bare feet crushing the carpet, careful to avoid the creaky spots. If she met anyone, she was only going to the kitchen for some water. The sconces in the hallway flickered: someone was still up. She pressed her ear to the study door and held her breath.

Lots of tips on how to elevate your dialogueandbring it to life with this new intro on the bloggity blog! Also kudos, because both Annie and I would definitelyread on with this one.

Spring flu season is still abound, and unfortunately, I became a victim of it. But! After a week of rehabilitation, I can almost taste my food again. I sort of miss…flavors. And sunlight. And not breathing through my mouth.

Anyway! Back to work! Hope everyone’s summers have been magical so far.

(And if you have no idea what this word smash thingy is, read this.)

First 250 Words Smash! #52

Most Wonderful Author:M. Halter
Most Evil Critique Master: Katie
Working Title: N/A

Pain drove Shannon to her knees.  One hand pressed to the grit of the floor, the other clapped against bruised ribs, fingers inspecting the rungs woven through her left lung where, deep within, the impeller of a pneumatic pump struggled to turn.  Don’t cough…don’t—   Stars swarmed her vision before she was through, and a nudging at the shutters again slammed the morning into focus.  She grabbed the black-headed spear and unlatched the window, piebald head of a stallion barreling through, nostrils flared, ears thrust forward.  Her soft laugh was a small victory.

“Ready, Atticus?”

They sighed as one, leaning against each other in wan light before he danced away and she followed, pulling low the brim of her shabby felt hat.  By nightfall, their fields lay far behind them.

Find some thoughts on how to nail effective transitions by reading the rest of this intro and our thoughts on the bloggity blog!

And the Blogspot blog has been redesigned specifically just for the Word Smashes which seriously it was about time.If you take a look, you can read all the intros by each of the newest KSW Teamers! Plus, we’ve got more already slated to be posted soon. Aw yis.

(And if you have no idea what this word smash thingy is, read this.)

First 250 Words Smash! #50

Most Wonderful Author:Nidoran
Most Evil Critique Master: Sarah
Working Title: Thief

Kaslen always thought herself to be a very good thief. The guards who caught her stealing, however, did not.

She sat on a  wooden bench in a dank prison cell so old that moss grew between the stones that made up the floor and walls. The cell had a single window, only a foot tall and twice as wide with iron bars added to obstruct both the view and any chance at escape.

She’d only been there a few hours (not even long enough to get a meal of stale bread and murky water), and her sentence wasn’t a long one.  For the crime of stealing a single apple from a stall in the market, her punishment was to be imprisoned for one night or lose a hand. Being an intelligent thief in addition to a very good thief, Kaslen chose the former.

If you’re wondering if you’re starting your story in the right place, we’ve got some things to think about. Read the rest of this intro and what we have to say on the bloggity blog!

(And if you have no idea what this word smash thingy is, read this.)

First 250 Words Smash! #49

Most Wonderful Author:Jay
Most Evil Critique Master: Ange
Working Title: The Burning Ones

As ashes of failed rebellion settle, she is the last breathing fighter. Her cage suspends four yards above ground in the middle of city square, too short for her spine to straighten and too narrow for her muscles to relax. Those who once believed in her dangle a short way above, their decay battering her weathered face. She has not spoken a word.

“That girl is made of titanium.” A Justitia whistles.

Twenty-two protons. Strongest lightweight metal. Corrosion-resistant. Highly flammable.

The town gathers to watch her time come. Cameras pan from rooftops, grasping every angle possible for the rest of the Utopia. Rows of soldiers bow as the Chairman arrives in robe and mask—no lens may taint his image.

Here’s some insight on prologues, especially if you’ve been considering one for your own story. Also, some thoughts on word choice and whether or not your words are making the right impression! Read the rest of the intro and what we have to say about it on the bloggity blog.

(And if you have no idea what this word smash thingy is, read this.)

First 250 Words Smash! #48

Most Wonderful Author:AwayLaughing
Most Evil Critique Master: Aly
Working Title: In Living Memory

Neiar, who was half asleep from a long day of doing nothing, jerked awake when the large doors of the antechamber banged open and yet another woman was escorted in by black clad Sentries. With her she brought the crackle of magic, strong and clear despite the dampening spells. The girl next to Near leaned subtly toward him, one hand coming to his arm, squeezing gently.

“Hedgewitch, maybe,” she said, voice pitched low. Neiar nodded, his own fingers clutching at his chair. The woman who came in was tall, hair a vibrant red. She wore simple but clean clothing with no adornment, likely not a College wife, or a member herself then.

Revealingsetting creates all kinds of anxiety, especially when trying to figure out if we’re doing it too muchortoo little. But gain a little bit more insight by reading the rest of this intro and what we have to say about it on the bloggity blog.

(And if you have no idea what this word smash thingy is, read this.)

First 250 Words Smash! #47

Most Wonderful Author:Darcy Addams
Most Evil Critique Master: Rebecca
Working Title: Purple Violets

The money’s all they need, the guys on the door know them. Arthur had picked the place out a few years ago, solely for the fact they gave you a wrist band instead of ‘one of those horrible tramp stamps’. The muffled base of the music flared out as they entered the building, the noise instantly clamped down on their ears. Bodies milled, sliding past each other, detailed silhouettes in the dim lighting. Coloured lights threw tints over the walls, faces flashed green for a split second, black lace glowed crimson.

“Do you think Mike’s got the base amped up more than usual?” Arthur whispered half jokingly as they pushed their way passed a group of girls, cyber dreads laced into their hair. He called it a whisper, but really it was a stage whisper shouted over the music thudding into their bones. Pierre shrugged, personally he liked the way the base reverberated through the floorboards, filling the room. Like a defibrillator, it jolted his heart in to wake-up mode.

So, let’s talk about flowandconsistency, because sentences don’t always sound the way we think they do. Conflict is also a pretty tricky thing to drop hints of in the first couple paragraphs of your story, but it can be done. Read the rest of this intro and what we have to say about it on the bloggity blog.

Submissions are still open, but we’re down to our last few open spots. Once the last few spots are filled, we’ll be closing until we power through our new lineup.

(And if you have no idea what this word smash thingy is, read this.)

First 250 Words Smash! #46

Most Wonderful Author:Erin Copland
Most Evil Critique Master: Annie
Working Title: N/A

Zaima could hear a woman screaming from outside the door. She didn’t bother knocking, but limped into the little cottage and paused on the threshold. There was a scent of blood and stale sweat, and the feeble candlelight barely illuminated the main room, just enough to show a man sitting at a table.

“Good evening, Goodman Tanner.”

“Took you long enough.”

“I’m afraid my mule has a bad leg, so I had to—” A woman’s scream cut her off. “Well. I’m here now.”

Zaima moved to go into the back bedroom, but he blocked her way.

LOOK! The first critique from our new KSW Team! Read the rest of the intro and Annie’s thoughts about unpacking settingandworking on pacing on the bloggity blog.

The other Teamers have been hard at work, so new intros will be going up soon. Submissions are still open, but only for a limited amount of spaces. Make sure you read through the guidelines carefully before submitting to us, and if you realized you messed up, you can always resubmit as long as we’re open.

(And if you have no idea what this word smash thing is, read this!)

Guess what? The First 250 Words Smash submission box is open. Remember, we’re only taking on a limited number of entries, and we’ve already received a few, so get them in before we close!

Remember to read the guidelinescarefully. Make sure you follow the protocol to make everything easier on us. All submissions sent that didn’t respect the guidelines will be deleted in exchange for those that did.

If you realize you messed up, that’s totally cool. You can still resubmit before we close the box. We all make mistakes!

keyboardsmashwriters:

This is that head’s up I mentioned earlier! If you were looking to submit your intro, we’ll be reopening again this Sunday, April 6th, at noon o’clock PST. Make note of that time zone, because anything submitted before noon Pacific Standard Time shall be deleted.

Before you submit, please make sure you read the guidelinescarefully. Submissions that very much reflect unread guidelines will be deleted in exchange for submissions that very much do reflect time taken to read the guidelines.

We’ll be taking the first 20 submissions, but don’t dillydally. The last time we were open, available spots were filled within a half hour.

Remember that all intros will now be tackled by a member of the KSW Team with some input from me. Also, please don’t ask any of the Teamers to do any additional beta reading or favors for you!

Anyway, I think that’s it. I’ve probably forgotten twelve things, but oh well. Can’t wait to see the new intros!

Reblogging for the morning crowd! Noon is in threehours!

This is that head’s up I mentioned earlier! If you were looking to submit your intro, we’ll be reopening again this Sunday, April 6th, at noon o'clock PST. Make note of that time zone, because anything submitted before noon Pacific Standard Time shall be deleted.

Before you submit, please make sure you read the guidelinescarefully. Submissions that very much reflect unread guidelines will be deleted in exchange for submissions that very much do reflect time taken to read the guidelines.

We’ll be taking the first 20 submissions, but don’t dillydally. The last time we were open, available spots were filled within a half hour.

Remember that all intros will now be tackled by a member of the KSW Team with some input from me. Also, please don’t ask any of the Teamers to do any additional beta reading or favors for you!

Anyway, I think that’s it. I’ve probably forgotten twelve things, but oh well. Can’t wait to see the new intros!

keyboardsmashwriters:

This is my first day off since Friday of last week and my only day off this week send help

So, for any new followers to the blog, I’ve just made some awesome changes to KSW. We held our first ever application process for the KSW Team! Your KSW Teamers are going to be critiquing the First 250 Words Smash intros with me, and then I’ll be making new KSW Writing Exercises based on these intros! I’ll also be writing little guides, or advice articles, on how to tackle these exercises with beefed up writing muscles.

After a long and super tough decision process, we finally settled on the final five KSW Teamers a couple weeks ago, and now everything’s finally put together. So, meet your new Team Members! Alrightalrightalright!

We’re all ready to dive right into work. If you submitted an intro to us when we were last open, we encourage you to revise and resubmit before we offer feedback. We’re sure you’ve gained some skills since you originally submitted! I’ll be assigning intros to our Teamers tomorrow, so make sure to get your revision in quickly.

If you’ve been looking to submit your intro for critique, I’ll probably be reopening submissions starting Sunday, so keep an eye out for that, and make sure you read the rules and prepare your intro in advance. It’s likely I’ll only accept a month’s worth of intros before closing again, and I don’t know how quickly spots will fill up (just that it will, in fact, be pretty darn quickly).

Happy writing!

I’m going to be getting to our collection of intros within the next couple of hours, so if yours didn’t receive a critique yet, you can still revise and resubmit!

This is my first day off since Friday of last week and my only day off this week send help

So, for any new followers to the blog, I’ve just made some awesome changes to KSW. We held our first ever application process for the KSW Team! Your KSW Teamers are going to be critiquing the First 250 Words Smash intros with me, and then I’ll be making new KSW Writing Exercises based on these intros! I’ll also be writing little guides, or advice articles, on how to tackle these exercises with beefed up writing muscles.

After a long and super tough decision process, we finally settled on the final five KSW Teamers a couple weeks ago, and now everything’s finally put together. So, meet your new Team Members! Alrightalrightalright!

We’re all ready to dive right into work. If you submitted an intro to us when we were last open, we encourage you to revise and resubmit before we offer feedback. We’re sure you’ve gained some skills since you originally submitted! I’ll be assigning intros to our Teamers tomorrow, so make sure to get your revision in quickly.

If you’ve been looking to submit your intro for critique, I’ll probably be reopening submissions starting Sunday, so keep an eye out for that, and make sure you read the rules and prepare your intro in advance. It’s likely I’ll only accept a month’s worth of intros before closing again, and I don’t know how quickly spots will fill up (just that it will, in fact, be pretty darn quickly).

Happy writing!