Remember how I made that speculation post after 5.04 aired and Eddie told Buck that he’s “the guy who likes to fix things”? And how I said it’s gonna foreshadow Buck eventually being the one to help Eddie fix things (his recovery and all that). Well BUCK IS WEARING THE SAME HOODIE FROM 5.04 IN 5.18, WHILE ESSENTIALLY HELPING EDDIE FIX HIS ROOM!!
coda of sorts to 5x14 – see author’s note on ao3 for warnings.
Eddie shuts the door to the truck behind him and shields his eyes from the sun with his hand, peering at the entrance to the building. Sometimes Eddie gets here a minute or two late or Christopher finishes early, and he’ll already be standing at the door waiting for Eddie’s truck to pull in, and all Eddie will get is a distant wave from Christopher’s instructor, Siena, before they go.
Today isn’t one of those days, though, and with a bounce in his step, Eddie starts towards the entrance.
Christopher and Siena aren’t out yet when Eddie gets to the stands, so he rests back against the railing, curling his hands around it, and keeps his eyes trained on the locker room doors. He drums his fingers against the metal, tap-tap-tap. Counting down the seconds.
Really, Eddie doesn’t know why he gets so—excited seems like a stretch. Anticipating maybe fits better. There’s no reason for it, though. Even when Siena comes out, there’s no guarantee it’ll even happen, and even if it does, there’s absolutely no reason to be standing here waiting for it like it’s something special. It doesn’t even mean anything. It’s ridiculous, but—
“Dad!”
Christopher comes tumbling out of the locker room, covered in dirt and beaming wide enough that Eddie can’t see his eyes through his squint. Siena trails behind as Christopher hurries over, wearing the same smile everyone who spends more than five minutes with Christopher can’t help. Christopher knocks into Eddie’s hip when he gets within range, more stumbling than intentional, but Eddie gladly takes whatever willing affection he can get from his pre-teen nowadays. He steadies Chris with a hand on his shoulder, then lets himself run that hand through Christopher’s dusty hair.
“Hey, buddy.” Eddie allows Christopher to pull back, returning his smile as Chris peers up at him. “How were the horses today?”
“I got to ride Lucky today!” Christopher rocks in place with his excitement. “Then he ate a sugar cube out of my hand!”
After months of this, Eddie hardly even needs to tamp down on any lingering fear at the thought of Christopher riding a horse without him around, which lets him focus instead on the second half of Christopher’s story. “Yeah?” Eddie glances up at Siena. “The sugar cubes were alright?”
Siena waves him off, smiling amiably. “Your husband checked with me last week. Sugar cubes are great treats for the horses.”
All the restless energy from the waiting settles comfortably in Eddie’s chest like a sigh. “Oh,” he says, “good.”
Really, it’s so dumb. It doesn’t mean anything. Still, Eddie waits for it every time.
he wants you too (you just have to ask him) [5x18 spec | 464 words]
“May I have this dance?”
Eddie looks up in time to see Buck lifting Jee Yun into his arms, Maddie shaking her head fondly as Buck begins gently spinning him and his niece around.
Something swoops in Eddie’s chest as Jee begins giggling in Buck’s arms and Buck’s smiling so wide that surely his face must ache with it and it’s like Eddie’s heart is right there spinning with them.
“Pretty sure he’d say yes, if you asked him.”
Eddie thanks his years of military training for not startling straight out of his seat, Maddie—who had somehow made it across the yard without him noticing—stands beside him, arms cross and a relaxed—almost amused—smile spread across her face.
“I’m not—I don’t—”
Maddie raises an eyebrow, “You’ve been watching him all afternoon—but somehow I get the sense you don’t quite realize he’s been watching you back.”
Eddie blinks, heating rising in his face—he had caught glimpses of Buck’s eyes on him but he had trouble letting himself think it could possibly be for the same reason his eyes were on Buck.
“You should ask him to dance,” Maddie continues, looking over at her brother and daughter, “he’ll say yes.”
Eddie lets his own gaze wander back to Buck, “How can you be so sure?”
“Call it ‘sister’s intuition’—or, if you prefer—Chim calls it the ‘stupid big heart eyes’ you guys keep making at each other.”
Eddie’s face is definitely flushed, but he looks over at Maddie, feeling bold, “you should ask Chim to dance—he’ll say yes too, you know.”
Eddie doesn’t miss the way Maddie’s eyes wander to Chim, dancing with Karen while Hen laughs.
“You think so?”
“He’s got a bit of his own case of ‘stupid big heart eyes’ y’know.”
“Yeah,” Maddie says softly, and then she ducks her head, “I just don’t wanna mess things up again.”
Eddie places a comforting hand on her arm, “I can’t promise you that it’ll always be perfect, but you and Chim—you love each other—you shouldn’t let the fear of something happening stop you from being happy.”
Maddie’s silent for a moment, and then she meets his eyes, she gives him a watery smile, “those are pretty wise words, Diaz, have you considered listening to them yourself?”
Eddie’s eyes widen with realization and then he laughs softly, “yeah, maybe I should.”
“Ask him to dance,” Maddie repeats.
“Will you?” He can’t help but ask back, “ask Chim?”
Maddie glances over at Chim, who’s let Hen take over for him, “I think I will.”
Eddie looks over at Buck, he’s stopped spinning Jee and moved to rocking her gently in his arms, their eyes meet across the yard and he smiles so brightly at Eddie that Eddie feels like it could blind him.
that drywall fixing scene is so. loving. from “you’re the guy who likes to fix things”/“you were always going to fail” (because he doesn’t know maddie like chimney, her romantic partner, does) to buck being self-deprecating about being that guy and eddie saying “hey, it comes in handy when you have a bunch of holes in your walls”, while they’re standing in front of the physical reminder of how unwell eddie was, of buck stepping into the mess with him.
and eddie asked buck to come over and help him fix the wall. eddie, aware of everything going on with taylor, very much aware that buck was trying to salvage a relationship that was always doomed because he knows buck better than anyone, invited him over to remind him of the tangible impact he has on the people around him, independent of his relationship; and, in actively inviting buck into the mess, he made himself even more stunningly vulnerable in the process.
it’s eddie saying, hey, you might not be able to fix everything for everyone all the time, but you’re the only person i’d ever allow to help me fix this. you know me like no one else does. you’re the only person that goes past this door, because you broke it down to be there for me.
and it is, yet again, a reminder that buck and eddie are each other’s Person.
no but buck saying, “yeah, yeah, i know i’m the guy that always wants to fix everything” in that self-castigatingly way he does so often, as if everything about him is annoying and burdensome, and eddie cutting that so short, pulling him out of it with “hey - it comes in handy when you got a bunch of holes in your walls” and letting him know he’s loved and appreciated as he is……yeah…
you guys. buck choosing himself over yet another unfulfilling relationship is the highest form of self-love. for the first time he chose himself, he was the one who walked out first. he made that decision willingly and consciously. he chose himself despite his insecurities and abandonment issues. despite his crippling fear of being left alone. despite knowing the consequences that came with it. despite despite despite. he put himself first despite all those things and he chose to LOVE himself. he’s not settling anymore. he knows he deserves better and more that this. he wants to love and to be loved and he knows it’s out there. and he’s going to find it. when he’s ready. I’M SO PROUD OF HIM I’M CRYING
Us: hey 911 can we get a popular headcanon confirmed?
911 *in a shady street vendor voice*: sure! you want Buck knowing romcoms better than any other movie genre? it’s niche - but delicious! how about buck breaking up with taylor because he doesn’t want to settle? that one’s a long time favourite. we just got in some buck and eddie patching up eddie’s wall to represent their emotional healing? or- oh! I’ve got eddie is twitter famous?? that one’s very popular with the ladies
