man, who DOESN’T want to sit around with wine & cheese saying, “Well, I didn’t actually read this” then have a bunch of bullshit opinions about it anyway
We✨do not✨deserve✨Larissa Duan
bruh, that was literally every paper you wrote in college. except replace “wine & cheese” with “tub juice & bagel bites”
honestly with the whole holster almost going to clown school thing the part that GOT me was the twitter thread about jack already knowing how to juggle
Holster and Ransom like stalking Nursey with a video camera and turning his hilarious mishaps into fake infomercials for imaginary products. They’ve literally never had to follow him for more than ten minutes to get material. And they’ve never truly recovered from missing the laptop in the pond incident. It would have been PURE INFOMERCIAL GOLD.
Nursey is super chill about it. He sends some of the videos to his mom.
Welcome to the newest season of The Bachelorette. After the heartbreak she experienced last season, April is back and ready for love. Watch along as April and this group of men go on the journey of a lifetime to find love. But as with any journey, it isn’t always a straight path. Heartbreak and drama abound, including something never before seen in the history of Bachelor Nation…
Rans takes a gulping breath. “Holtzy, I don’t wanna freak you out,” he says, unsteady in a way that definitely freaks Holster out, “but I think I’m legit hallucinating things. Like, I honestly thought I saw Chris Chow in our fucking laundry room.”
Additional tags: Alternate Universe - Hockey, NHL Player Chris “Chowder” Chow, Getting Together, Polyamory.
Pairing: Adam “Holster” Birkholtz/Justin “Ransom” Oluransi
No Archive Warnings Apply
Tags: Amnesia, Concussions, Med Student Justin “Ransom” Oluransi, Feelings Realization, Angst with a Happy Ending
Summary:
Justin’s in his third year of medical school, pulling a late shift when he gets paged down to the Emergency Department. Adam has taken a hard check during a hockey rec league game and Justin is horrified to discover that his best bro and favorite person in the whole world can no longer recognize him. If Adam gets through this, Justin will never let him go again.
“Wait, bro,” Ransom says to Holster. “What if we do that link arm thing and feed it to each other?”
“What, like a married couple?” Holster asks. “Fuckin’ sick dude! Hell yeah.” Bitty watches as they both scoop up bites of pie and twist their arms together, laughing as they fight to shove their forks into each other’s mouths. He rolls his eyes.
“Really, boys,” he sighs, “you two are gayer than Jack and I.”
“Dude, don’t judge our bromance!” Holster tells him through a mouthful of pie.
“Well, y'all are slowly starting to take the ‘b’ out of it.”
“Nah, Bits,” Ransom says after finishing his bite. “This is a sure 'b’ romance.”
“Uh-huh,” Bitty says, deadpan. “Y'all are shapin’ up to be two solid bromosexuals in a bromantic relationship.” Ransom and Holster snap to look at each other, fire blazing in their eyes. Bitty sighs loudly, taking their plates. Holster drops from the barstool onto one knee, holding Ransom’s hand.
“Bromeo, Bromeo, I love you, no homeo,” Holster says dramatically. Ransom swoons.
“Oh dear Lord,” Bitty groans, leaving their half-cleaned plates in the sink.
Posting for the FYFW event starts on April 5th, stay tuned !
“I’m only here for a bit, you know?” Chow is saying with a gloomy shrug when Holster successfully checks back into reality without having actually screeched out loud.
At the exact same time, with just as much outraged bluster, Ransom starts, “I think you’ll find with a save percentage like–”
They both realise at the same moment that they are defending Chris Chow to Chris Chow, not to some dumb bro who doesn’t get the artistry of being a goalie, and Holster can feel his entire upper body flush. Ransom’s teeth clack he shuts his mouth so fast.
Posting for the FYFW event starts on April 5th, stay tuned !
Chris Harrison: Don’t miss out on the excitement. Tune in next week for a new episode of The Bachelorette
Ryan D: You aren’t here for the right reasons! I’m serious about finding love, but you’re just treating this like a game.
Ransom: I don’t know what the f— you’re talking about! I’ve been committed to April since day one. And she knows that.
Ryan D: Yeah, then why are you attached to Adam 24/7?
[Ransom pauses, shock and hurt flashing across his face.]
Ryan D: I’m glad you’ve made friends here or whatever, but April deserves undivided attention, and she needs to know that you’re not giving that to her.
[Cut to April shuts the door of an SUV, and turns away wiping tears from her eyes. The SUV drives off without the audience seeing who is inside.]
Nick: Did she just…
Holster: [looks stricken] I think she sent him home.
Chris Harrison VO: And coming up, a twist never before seen in Bachelor history.
Holster in interview: It’s crazy to say it, but I have found love here on this journey. I’ve never been this happy. And I need to no longer be afraid to express how I really feel.
[April is standing next to a table with only a few roses on it, looking nervous. She picks up the first one, but before she can say anything Holster steps forward.]
Holster: I’m so sorry April, but there’s something I need to say.
Posting for the FYFW event starts on April 5th, stay tuned !
