man, who DOESN’T want to sit around with wine & cheese saying, “Well, I didn’t actually read this” then have a bunch of bullshit opinions about it anyway
We✨do not✨deserve✨Larissa Duan
bruh, that was literally every paper you wrote in college. except replace “wine & cheese” with “tub juice & bagel bites”
for the small overlap of my followers in the centre of the batman/check please venn diagram: take a trip with me to batfam x omgcp hell lol
some prior notes before i get into this:
for my own safety and sanity, i primarily won’t be focusing on the grimdark, death-filled origin stories of the batfamily
i will be fucking around with ages, characterizations, and relationship dynamics from both omgcp and dc bc this is my au and i do what i want lol
there’s gonna be a fuckton more under the cut bc this is all stream of consciousness and i needed to get it down or else my brain wouldn’t shut up about it /);w;(\
oKAY LEGGO /o/
jack zimmermann is The BatMan
broody, black-haired, blue-eyed, soft-spoken giant of a man who can terrify others with a glare
not quite a playboy in his civilian identity as jack zimmermann, but defo a himbo who trips over his own words and generally has no idea what he’s doing if it isn’t about his family or his family’s giant corporation
also pressure to live up to parents’ legacy as positive figures who constantly made changes to the city they loved? trying to follow in his father’s footsteps as an amazing philanthropist and business man?
*chef’s kiss*
he’s awkward and perhaps robotic about it sometimes but he loves his family (old and new) with all his heart and will fight the world to protect them
eric bittle is catwoman the night cat
flirty chatty, sneaky cat burglar who steals to fund his own interests
(it’s baking we all know it’s baking lol. he has a dream to start a career in the food industry but he can’t afford it yet so…….. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
bitty’s got soft hands and quick technique—there’s nothing he can’t break into or break out of so long as he’s got the right tools
first meeting with jack zimmermann as the batman was unfavourable for everyone involved. eric was a criminal trying to steal a vintage dining set from the local museum and jack was……very jack about it
their relationship softens as they cross paths more often and they learn about each other’s identities
bitty left home at a young age and never looked back—he may miss his family dearly but it was for the best
besides, if he went back home then how could i run into you, mr. tall, dark, and handsome?
jack is very flustered by him and rightfully so lol
once he’s more integrated into the batfamily, bitty loves everyone just as fiercely as jack does
hops or bully as robin i/nightwing
i can’t decide between the two yet for who i’d prefer for the first robin and eventually nightwing
i love hops for the teasing, pain-in-the-ass robin and eventual titans’ leader, nightwing
but i also love the idea of (canonically second best dancer of smh) bully being an expert gymnast who came from a family of travelling performers, whose acts are tied deeply to their cultural identities
this is up in the air for the meantime, but either of em would be excellent nightwings
whoever’s not robin + louis would also be in this iteration of the titans
dex as robin ii/red hood
now i gotta be honest, i almost didn’t want to have red hood be part of this bc pain but!! i think dex would be an excellent red hood
picked up by billionaire jack zimmermann, dex is a kid from the streets who tragically dies in undisclosed circumstances
his homelife before jack came into it was taking care of his mother and protecting them from an abusive brother
he takes the mantle as robin with some trepidation at first but comes to love it with all his heart
after his death and eventual resurrection, he becomes the red hood: an anti-hero who cares for the underdogs, for the forgotten people of the city, fighting crime in his own way in the alleys where he came from
he goes on his own adventures with his own group of outlaws—nursey, a clever archer with as much dorkiness as he does archery skill, and chowder, a naive but kind and loving alien with godly powers
(no, neither nursey nor chowder were ever part of robin i’s titans bc i have Opinions™ about this and i want them to be their own ragtag group of heroes gdi)
(yes, i am just furthering my polyfrogs agenda. also you can’t tell me polyfrogs as joyfire wouldn’t be the best thing ever )
ransom as robin iii/red robin
a tired ball of chaos, ransom would be such a good tim drake i can feelit
a bright young man who forces his way into batman’s life after robin ii’s passing and after looking up to both generations of robin growing up
he deduced jack and co’s identities on his own and then studies up like hella to become the next robin
he’s slightly terrified to present his findings to The Jack Zimmermann aka The Batman, but his bravery and thoroughness at the very least intrigues jack enough to take him under his wing (pun intended)
ransy’s parents are not pleased when he announces everything to them
they have expectations of the world from him but at the end of the day they love their son and they love that their son is doing good in the world
he’s a disaster bi btw
one of his bffs is holster aka superboy i, who is his righthand man in their team of heroes (young justice titans)
his other bff is march aka spoiler and basically his first love who is his partner in all things batfamily
ransom has the dick grayson problem of going back and forth between the same two redheads blondes for several years bc he loves them both very dearly
whiskey as robin iv
jack’s son who barrels into his life after years of secrecy
idk who i want to be his ~mother yet
initial instinct says camilla, jack’s ex, a skilled assassin-slash-mercenary with her own moral code
her relationship with jack would mirror that of roy and jade’s and whiskey would be lian………….except instead of lian it’d be damian LOL
camilla kept whiskey as a secret bc she knew who Jack The Batman and Jack The Billionaire was, but she’s forced to give him up when her life comes under threat and she decides he’d be safer with jack
jack and camilla do not have an antagonistic relationship before nor after whiskey comes into jack’s life, but just from the way whiskey grew up he’s got Some Issues to deal with
jack allows him to express/release his emotions with combat and detective training, and eventually he becomes the next robin
ALTERNATIVELY
whiskey is a clone resulting from the success of experimentation combining jack and kent parson’s dna (think conner kent being the result of clark kent and lex luthor)
kent is jack’s old flame and partner
they grew up together and were inseparable for most of their youth until a brutal falling out where jack eventually started his path to become the batman, and kent turned to crime and world domination
whiskey, again, was the result of an experiment studying human genetics that successfully created a clone of billionaire and masked vigilante, jack zimmermann + the head of the biggest crime league in the world, kent parson
whiskey comes into jack’s life after discovering his conception and wanted to learn more about his other father
he also left the league bc i imagine grooming a child to be a murderer in a villain’s syndicate takes its toll and whiskey saw this as his perfect out
cue the same journey to him becoming robin iv
other notes
shitty is alfred pennyworth but not an old butler. he is instead jack’s righthand man and best friend. if it wasn’t kent with jack growing up, it was shitty, and shitty stuck by jack’s side after kent left. they know each other as well as they know themselves, and jack would trust his life and family with shits. shitty’s basically his live-in manager and PA, but he loves what he does and he, too, protects the batcave with a shotgun (as well as a foul mouth lol)
lardo is lucius fox and heads all of zimmermann enterprise’s innovations. she got into a relationship with shitty after years of the two of them dealing with jack’s bs and eventually they two fell in love. she’s a genius and unafraid to put any of the batfamily in their place, especially since shitty won’t. yeeeeeears down the line, once jack puts up the cowl once and for all and she and shitty have their own family, their son picks up the mantle to become the next batman a la jace fox
tater is the superman to jack’s batman. a loud and kind humanoid alien who was adopted by russian immigrants after crashlanding to earth as a baby and grew up to eventually become superman
tango is superboy ii and whiskey’s best friend. idk if i want him to be tater’s son, but i do want super sons, and whiskey needs a sunshine alien just like damian lol
george is wonder woman. i am not taking any questions about this.
alsoapril is wonder girl in young justice a la cassie sandsmark. i will not be taking questions about this either.
if she isn’t whiskey’s mom then camilla is batwoman. no questions here as well.
idk yet who i want as cass and babs but i know want them here somehow. i just dunno yet. maybe farmer as oracle?? ford as orphan?? vice versa??? use jenny and mandy instead???? maybe i should rearrange the whole damn family????? idk yet but don’t worry i haven’t forgotten them~!
Holster and Ransom like stalking Nursey with a video camera and turning his hilarious mishaps into fake infomercials for imaginary products. They’ve literally never had to follow him for more than ten minutes to get material. And they’ve never truly recovered from missing the laptop in the pond incident. It would have been PURE INFOMERCIAL GOLD.
Nursey is super chill about it. He sends some of the videos to his mom.
Welcome to the newest season of The Bachelorette. After the heartbreak she experienced last season, April is back and ready for love. Watch along as April and this group of men go on the journey of a lifetime to find love. But as with any journey, it isn’t always a straight path. Heartbreak and drama abound, including something never before seen in the history of Bachelor Nation…
Rans takes a gulping breath. “Holtzy, I don’t wanna freak you out,” he says, unsteady in a way that definitely freaks Holster out, “but I think I’m legit hallucinating things. Like, I honestly thought I saw Chris Chow in our fucking laundry room.”
Additional tags: Alternate Universe - Hockey, NHL Player Chris “Chowder” Chow, Getting Together, Polyamory.
Pairing: Adam “Holster” Birkholtz/Justin “Ransom” Oluransi
No Archive Warnings Apply
Tags: Amnesia, Concussions, Med Student Justin “Ransom” Oluransi, Feelings Realization, Angst with a Happy Ending
Summary:
Justin’s in his third year of medical school, pulling a late shift when he gets paged down to the Emergency Department. Adam has taken a hard check during a hockey rec league game and Justin is horrified to discover that his best bro and favorite person in the whole world can no longer recognize him. If Adam gets through this, Justin will never let him go again.
“Wait, bro,” Ransom says to Holster. “What if we do that link arm thing and feed it to each other?”
“What, like a married couple?” Holster asks. “Fuckin’ sick dude! Hell yeah.” Bitty watches as they both scoop up bites of pie and twist their arms together, laughing as they fight to shove their forks into each other’s mouths. He rolls his eyes.
“Really, boys,” he sighs, “you two are gayer than Jack and I.”
“Dude, don’t judge our bromance!” Holster tells him through a mouthful of pie.
“Well, y'all are slowly starting to take the ‘b’ out of it.”
“Nah, Bits,” Ransom says after finishing his bite. “This is a sure 'b’ romance.”
“Uh-huh,” Bitty says, deadpan. “Y'all are shapin’ up to be two solid bromosexuals in a bromantic relationship.” Ransom and Holster snap to look at each other, fire blazing in their eyes. Bitty sighs loudly, taking their plates. Holster drops from the barstool onto one knee, holding Ransom’s hand.
“Bromeo, Bromeo, I love you, no homeo,” Holster says dramatically. Ransom swoons.
“Oh dear Lord,” Bitty groans, leaving their half-cleaned plates in the sink.
Posting for the FYFW event starts on April 5th, stay tuned !
“I’m only here for a bit, you know?” Chow is saying with a gloomy shrug when Holster successfully checks back into reality without having actually screeched out loud.
At the exact same time, with just as much outraged bluster, Ransom starts, “I think you’ll find with a save percentage like–”
They both realise at the same moment that they are defending Chris Chow to Chris Chow, not to some dumb bro who doesn’t get the artistry of being a goalie, and Holster can feel his entire upper body flush. Ransom’s teeth clack he shuts his mouth so fast.
Posting for the FYFW event starts on April 5th, stay tuned !
Chris Harrison: Don’t miss out on the excitement. Tune in next week for a new episode of The Bachelorette
Ryan D: You aren’t here for the right reasons! I’m serious about finding love, but you’re just treating this like a game.
Ransom: I don’t know what the f— you’re talking about! I’ve been committed to April since day one. And she knows that.
Ryan D: Yeah, then why are you attached to Adam 24/7?
[Ransom pauses, shock and hurt flashing across his face.]
Ryan D: I’m glad you’ve made friends here or whatever, but April deserves undivided attention, and she needs to know that you’re not giving that to her.
[Cut to April shuts the door of an SUV, and turns away wiping tears from her eyes. The SUV drives off without the audience seeing who is inside.]
Nick: Did she just…
Holster: [looks stricken] I think she sent him home.
Chris Harrison VO: And coming up, a twist never before seen in Bachelor history.
Holster in interview: It’s crazy to say it, but I have found love here on this journey. I’ve never been this happy. And I need to no longer be afraid to express how I really feel.
[April is standing next to a table with only a few roses on it, looking nervous. She picks up the first one, but before she can say anything Holster steps forward.]
Holster: I’m so sorry April, but there’s something I need to say.
Posting for the FYFW event starts on April 5th, stay tuned !
“You’re looking great for someone who just hit his head.” Justin smiles at him. He’ll need a head CT and they’ll have to keep an eye on the ringing in his ears, but with any luck Holster will go home tonight with nothing more than a headache and a good story to tell.
“You’re looking great.” Holster raises one eyebrow in an uncharacteristically smarmy expression.
Huh. Holster might be a little loopier than Justin had realized. “Uh, thanks?”
“There’s just one thing I don’t understand,” Holster continues. “How did I get lucky enough to get the hottest doctor in the hospital?”
“Um… my resident paged me when you came in?” A horrifying thought occurs to Justin. He slaps his hand over his name badge. “Adam? What’s my name?”
Holster glances at Justin’s chest where his name badge should be and then back to his face. “Uh… Dr. McDreamy?”
Justin slowly drops his hand, his mind reeling. “You don’t know me?”
Posting for the FYFW event starts on April 5th, stay tuned !
This first panel from right at the beginning when he was just getting to know and meet everyone and now he has this big family he’s made here at Samwell!
