#alaska young

I can’t forgive, I can’t forget

Maybe I’m just so bad that I can’t comprehend anything else than what I say

I’m going to hell, but I’ve always been there

I can’t say what I’ve been trying to make, I can’t just put my nails all over this place

I can’t break, because I said that I love

do I love? I just doubt myself

I can’t find a feeling that’ll put me into place, that will make me look alive again

Maybe I’m just dead, and it is what I’m supposed to be

can you blame me? Yes, you can

I guess I deserve the bad that I get

But do I deserve to always love, and drown in whatever I think?

I can’t quite understand what I am, and I don’t think I fit in

I can’t find the beginning nor the end, because It’s all too well

The world keeps turning, and I’ll always stay still

like I always did

I’m just far away.

People lie, words can fly

Your tongue was full of ties and all I hear now from you is a reason to get away

I was never the type to trust feelings, I’m afraid of empathy, all it did was destroy me

am I just a toy?, am I just utterly broken?

Will the day come where I’ll open up and I’ll get something that won’t hurt me?

Maybe I’ve broken hearts, and they made my soul cry

I can’t just blame, because I’ve lied too

Will they carry me where I belong?, will I find the music that I’ve longed for?

Maybe you’ll never love me, and that’s why I’d stay

I wish anything of what I’ve said would make the tiniest change

But maybe my poems are not good enough, my lips should remain sealed and I should just stay alone

but I can’t just pretend, there’s no pleasure in hurting myself anymore

I want to be free, and I wish I’d escaped when I had the chance

What a tragedy love is, I never meant for my feelings to go this deep

I wouldn’t date anyone, I’m done

I swear there’s not a road that’ll keep track of me, that’ll guide me where I belong

I was never meant to be here, and now I don’t think love exists, not for people like me at least

Let me cry, I’ll stop begging, I won’t complain and I won’t scream

Pushing people away always helped me, and they might beg, but I won’t shed a tear

Now let me create my own feelings, where I’ll be just safe

I won’t love, maybe I never could

I’ll forget whoever I loved, there was never a sound

and I just love people who’ll never love me, and I’m so sick for that.

Don’t ever search for me

For you won’t find what I’ve hid underneath

You think it’s all scripted, but I never meant for things to end like this

I used to think it was all a dream, but I’m never asleep

i think that I feel what I mean, but I can’t see what I need

i let you see me, and I gave you a kiss

I know I’m nothing to you, maybe you think you’re nothing to me

There’s so many feelings that are taking me to other place

And all I want is a escape

Would you give me your hand?

I can’t promise, and I can’t stay still

I can’t shake what’s been made before I was here

I can break the rules

Yet I can’t stop myself, I can’t heal

I wish my mind was sweet

Let me dream, let me live

Let me love and to express what I feel

Just let me be in peace.

I just can’t pretend that I understand what you say

What am I supposed to think?, should I believe?

i know it’s tricky, but I never seem to believe anything other than my own thoughts, which I still break and doubt

You could tell me you love me, but I’d still think that you’re trying to get something out of this

And I might be broken, I can’t be fixed

My feelings are so mixed, my head can’t find a way to be still and my heart wants to be free.

I can’t stand loving someone because there is no logic to it, and I can’t believe someone feels something genuine towards me because it might just be an strategy

And I am this strange mix of a moody, yet unhealthily rational girl

A misfit, such a stupid cliché

What you see it’s not what you’ll get, I cant just let

I’m just a poet, trapped on a heavily rational mind.

I just get sad

Looking at the picture perfect of you being a dad

doing things you never did with me,

you just tried to make me pay for crimes I didn’t commit

Why did you treat me like I was the ugliest thing, when all I wanted was for you to love me?

Is that too much to expect from the man who gave me half of his DNA? because you’re nothing more than that to me.

How stupid I was to think that things could really take a different meaning

when you’re still the same horrible being I always knew.

You were supposed to protect me, and you were the first one to break me

You took my innocence, and I never got to experience a family because you had to go ahead and ruin it

Are you so sick that you think she was deserving of all the pain you put her through? Because you didn’t even seem to care that I was there.

How could I not hate you, if people have always failed me

But you were the first to disappoint me, the first to betray me, to take all away from me.

There is no even a way of making all of this sound pretty, because there is nothing poetic about it; you broke me before I could even think.

I can’t forget

The sun changes, flowers fly

I remember all those nights I stayed up to keep your thoughts in my mind

I swear that I’ve tried, but it still feels like time has not passed by

I’m not one to retry, but my mind always reminisces

I can’t ignore the thought that I’d waste my time, yet,

My heart is still where you are, and my hands need to feel your heart

My lips still remember the feel of your touch

And my hair won’t forget how your breath felt when you were there, besides me

My body felt safe, and I still can’t deny that I felt trapped

yet so unaware of everything that made me cry.

Maybe we’re just not supposed to forget, and we must learn

that to live on, we need to walk the same place, and still be able to look other way.

I can’t sleep, it’s a dead night

I’ve been wild, but I don’t plan to stop

I tore down my heart so I could talk,

but it never made any sense anyone, I let people down

My breath has become weak, yet now I think I’m closer to being free

am I really just weak?,

maybe I should stay up so I can weep, and I’ll figure out what’s wrong with me

I think I’ve found the courage within all that I can see, yet I don’t think anything feels real when it’s so close to my feet

Can you see me?, am I just a catalyst from the deep seas?

I was born quiet, deep

yet I can’t even follow my own spirit

I’m being repetitive, I can’t buy whatever’s underneath this

Should I burn the image I’ve created of me?

Was it ever true that I made a compromise?

I’m trapped in this bed, I can’t get ahead of my own head

My thoughts will put me rest, and I’ll be buried, just like the rest of them

my heart saw things that I should regret, but my scars say that it’s never okay

My legs will stop and I’ll freeze in air, with all my hair in a beautiful length

My lungs have been hurt with needles and now I don’t think I’ll ever breath again, for my own body wants me to forget

But what should I forget?, I’m so filled with rage

My soul needs an escape and I can’t seem to find that anywhere

should I just run away?, maybe I was never meant to stay

Break all the mess I am, I assure you you’ll see I’m made of glass

But is this glass burned by the lack of sun?

will sun ever come out?

I don’t say what I mean or what I’m told to say because I’m so far away from what I wish I were, please let me create the pain that I’ve been missing since you left.

The world keeps spinning, but I’m still standing

I didn’t plan for my life to go this far, and now I just sit to watch cars pass by

People are asleep, but I’d rather go for a walk

Could I get lost in the night?, have I really made it this far?

Maybe I’ve kept it all inside, and it’ll come out anytime now

I don’t think I do things right, but my heart longs for the sky

There’s a voice inside, that tells me to stop my rise,

And what if it’s right?

Confusion is all over me now, and now the night’s settled down into the minds of those who watch

I’m stuck in the past, time was never real, not for my heart

I guess I should try and find everything I left behind, but would it make them change their mind?

Now my scars are too fond of my skin and I don’t think I’ll ever go back in, I am too far to reach

Find my clothes underneath, my lies have always been free

I wish I’d pay attention to… me.

Tell me where you are, I know it’s all a trap

Lock the clock and make the time cry,

Breathing is a waste for the night.

I gave up to the light so I could feel that I’m alive

But my heart was never at sight

Kill what’s inside and leave the one who dies,

Eat my insides, I never meant to tell you what’s mine

Fade away in the dark

Never expect for your luck to be back,

my love is far behind, and I found him in the sun

Chew my lungs and eat my heart

I’m always behind.

Get To Know Me[2/9 books]:

Looking for Alaska, John Green

Sometimes you lose a battle. But mischief always wins the war.

how will i ever get out of this labyrinth?