Work Summary: The sorcerer grasped Ciri’s hair and dragged her upwards, exposing her throat. “Tick tock, Yennefer,” he crooned. “The child or the bard. It’s your choice.” At his feet, hunched over and still spitting blood, Jaskier lifted his head to meet Yennefer’s gaze. Her fists clenched at his determined expression, disgust pooling in her gut. He wanted her to save Ciri. She wouldn’t let either of them die. Unfortunately, they were at a standstill.
Prompt: Angstpril Day 1 - “I didn’t mean for this to happen” Word Count:3,810 Warnings: canon-typical violence, major character death, whodunnit except it’s who’s the corpse, on-screen death, canon-typical language, angst, description of a corpse, knife wounds, blood
Author’s Note: The title is from the poem Anniversary by Diannely Antigua. Sorry about this one, gang, and for the fact that my return to fanfic is through angst. Also, uh, sorry Pearl.
*
It was a crisp summer morning when they hit the narrow trail. They’d been travelling for days already, but finally, they were approaching their destination. Despite the exhaustion that chilled the trio’s bones, their spirits were higher than ever. In fact, for once, Yennefer found herself enjoying Jaskier’s company.
“Ciri, dear, give us a song.”
Nevermind. She hated the bard and his stupid fucking lute.
“Don’t you dare, Cirilla,” Yennefer growled out from atop her horse.
The other was occupied by her companions, dearest Ciri at the reins and Jaskier back-to-back with her so that his hands were free to annoy Yennefer to death. If she still had her magic, she would’ve cursed him with silence before he could open his mouth. Alas, she was stuck with his endless portfolio of songs and his even more endless babbling.
Ciri giggled, which would have been endearing in any other moment. The girl put a finger on her chin, in mockingly deep thought. Finally came her rumination: “Do Toss A Coin.”
Yennefer groaned a rumbling noise as if a dragon lived in her chest. “Not again.”
“It would be my pleasure, my lady,” Jaskier said. He gave his lute a wild strum with a flourish, a dastardly, falsely genial smile on his wicked face. Without hesitation, and despite Yen’s glare, he began to sing. “When a humble bard graced a ride along…with Geralt of Rivia—”
The great sorceress rolled her eyes. “The one time we are without the oaf and all you want to do is sing his praises.”
“Good gods, Yen, you could at least pretend to miss him!” he teased.
“It’s nice, just us three,” Ciri chimed in, knocking her elbow into Jaskier pointedly. “I don’t miss his hovering.”
Yennefer huffed a laugh. “You’re just glad he’s not here to stop you from stealing our wine. Hm?”
“And I get to hear the bawdy songs!”
The bard cackled. “Oh, you haven’t heard the truly ribald songs.”
“Even Jaskier is somewhat responsible, darling,” she said. “Geralt would kill him. He’s an idiot and reckless, but he hardly has a death wish.”
“Really? Could’ve fooled me.”
He scoffed, looking between them with a scandalised expression. “Always the butt of the joke. You know, I thought I’d get a break from it being without Geralt, but no, he’s rubbed off on both of you now! Cirilla, I truly expected better of you.”
“Grave mistake,” she chirped with a silly grin.
Yennefer spotted Jaskier’s scandalised face, his open mouth, and interrupted him before he could start rambling. “Enough, the both of you. We’re here.”
Ciri brightened significantly, while the sorceress shared a look with the bard, a disgustingly fond one.
This trip of theirs was not for Jaskier alone, though it had begun as a chance for him to perform for a crowd that wasn’t witchers at Kaer Morhen. The festival he’d pointed out in a nearby town was one Yennefer was fairly familiar with, so she decided to tag along. For herself, of course. Not to keep an eye on the bard. And when Ciri found out that they were going to a festival, a warm, flower-themed one at that, she absolutely begged to go. It didn’t take much to convince Geralt—no, just one pleading look from his girl. It took a little more to convince him to let them go alone, but eventually, they managed it.
It wasn’t that they didn’t want Geralt to go. They knew, however, that he wouldn’t enjoy the festival, nor would he be welcomed in the first place, annoyingly enough. So, Lambert and Coën, two of his closest brothers, dragged him along on a job and told him to let them bond.
Leading Ciri and Jaskier into the town, Yennefer reminisced on it fondly. Despite herself, she smiled. Lambert had called them all Geralt’s: Ciri “his girl,” Jaskier “his bard,” and Yennefer “his witch.” Her own nickname wasn’t exactly affectionate, but she knew he meant it lightly.
To think they were Geralt’s droll little group. Was there even a word for what they were to him? She couldn’t think of one.
“Yen, look!”
Her attention was drawn back into the present at Ciri’s insistent hissing. The girl had their horses sidled up next to each other, close enough that she could tug on her sleeve. She pointed into the square of the town as they entered, eyes bright with wonder.
Ciri was pointing at the decor, she thought, gaze drifting over the sight.
Every inch of the market stalls and walls was covered with flowers of all colours. Purples and blues seemed to be the favourite, though, with smatterings of reds and yellows and pinks. People wore flowers around their necks, wrists, and ankles. They handed them to each other, as well, in single stems, bouquets, and even artful pieces of jewellery. It was a sight to see, the beauty of summer here. Most other villages celebrated these holidays in spring, but this environment was perfect for flowers in summer, what with their frequent rain showers. Legend had it that it was some sorcerer’s fault a hundred years ago.
Yennefer probably would’ve thanked them if they were still alive, just for the look on Ciri’s face when a girl, much younger than her, offered her a necklace of carnations for her steed.
“They’re lovely, thank you,” the young princess murmured.
She ran her fingertips over the petals, apparently in deep thought.
At her back, Jaskier sat up. “Ooh, bookshop! We should see if we can find anything for dear old Vesemir.”
“Necessities first, bard,” Yennefer chided, swinging her leg over her saddle to dismount. “Then we can spend all Geralt’s coin.”
Snickering, Ciri let Jaskier hop down before she followed him. Once they got their horses situated for the night, they took to exploring the festival. Yennefer split from the other two briefly, haggling her way through the market. Ciri found her way to her later, hiding her giggles at the annoyed vendors as they attempted to bargain with an unstoppable force.
When Jaskier reappeared, he held something out to Ciri.
“For me?” she asked, eyes wide.
He nodded encouragingly, a blinding smile on his face. “Go on, princess.”
Without further questioning, the girl ripped into the brown paper packaging like the child she was. Yennefer gave their companion a questioning look, but he only smiled and shook his head. When she looked back at their girl, she saw a dumbfounded Ciri.
“It’sbeautiful,” she breathed, hesitant hands drifting over the gift.
Itwas beautiful; a curved, decorative hairpin forged of rose gold and decorated with sparkling white gems. The metal twisted like branches with leaves on the offshoots, the entire thing shaped almost like a tiara. The eye-catching part, however, was the line of three pink roses it bore. They were real flowers, enchanted to stay alive for decades. Of the three, the middle rose was the largest, but each was perfectly pristine. The jewellery was ideal for a princess, Yennefer thought. It was practically made for Ciri.
“I love it!” she cried.
Unexpectedly, she threw herself at Jaskier, tackling the bard in a vicious, witcher-trained hug. He took it with a grunt and a laugh, hugging her back the moment he could. Yennefer smiled at them both, eyes bright.
“Thank you,” Ciri whispered into his shoulder.
He petted her hair gently. “Any time, dear. Now, I think Yennefer has her eye on yet another vendor to harass. Help me make a song out of this one?”
“Only if you call Yen something wicked,” she bartered.
Said sorceress brightened, while he gave a dramatic, beleaguered groan. “If I must.”
Yennefer bore a devious smile. “That’s my cub.”
That night, Ciri and Yennefer retired to their room in the inn long before Jaskier, whose voice echoed throughout the tavern and its halls far into the night. While he belted out his songs and made all the village girls swoon, Yennefer helped Ciri undo her braids and settle in for bed. They stayed up longer than intended, a fact they would keep a secret between themselves, lest Geralt find out and never let Yen watch over Ciri again.
“I’m happy that Geralt found you and Jaskier,” Ciri said during a long silence.
Admittedly, Yennefer was somewhat dumbstruck. “Oh?”
She gave a sheepish smile, her free hand playing with her hair. “Everything that happened was…scary,” she continued, “but you’re both with us now. I like it better with you here. So does Geralt, even if he doesn’t say it. He’s happier with you two around. More, uh, complete.”
At that moment, Yen’s heart broke. She didn’t even like it around simply because she liked them, but also because Geralt was apparently all the better for their presence. The way she said it, too, with such love in her eyes, killed the sorceress right there. She almost wanted to bundle her in blankets and never let go.
Before the clock struck midnight, however, she tucked the girl into bed alone and kissed the crown of her head.
“Sleep, dearest,” she murmured, sure she was already asleep. “I’ll keep watch.”
And keep watch she did; her keen eyes drifted over their room what must have been a thousand and twelve times before Jaskier arrived. There was a sag in his shoulders but a pep in his step as he entered. The sight of Ciri’s hairpin on the nightstand made his eyes all rheumy, disgustingly enough. Yennefer greeted him with a nod, ready to turn in herself now that he was there.
“Good show?” she asked, her voice barely a breeze.
“Not as good as Kaer Morhen,” he admitted with something like longing in his words. “But good. Ciri’s alright?”
She nodded as she climbed into bed beside the girl, leaving Jaskier on his own. “No nightmares yet. I’ll wake up if she does.”
“Good.” He curled into his blankets. His speech was slurred. “That’s good.”
Yennefer huffed out a chuckle. “Goodnight, bard.”
“Goodnight, witch.”
She was very nearly asleep the second she laid down, but her mind kept her up a moment longer. We’re Geralt’s family, her traitorous thoughts decided. That was the word she was looking for earlier. We’re family.
~
“GERALT!”
It was a bright summer day in Kaer Morhen, a rare occurrence, when Lambert burst through the doors to the library. Vesemir and Geralt dropped their conversation in an instant, the latter getting to his feet with a hand on his sword. He knew his brother and that tone of voice meant bad news.
Lambert turned the corner, finally coming into view. “Geralt,” he said breathlessly, “it’s Yennefer. At the gate. She—”
He never did finish, what with the way Geralt ran out of the room like a bat out of hell. His feverish escape didn’t go unnoticed by his fellow witchers, many of whom followed at a somewhat slower pace. Of course, he ignored them all, gaze set on the front gate. Underneath his ragged old boots, soft grass parted for him without resistance.
It was rare for him to be home in the warm months. He was used to the crunch of snow under his feet and the biting cold of the mountain snows. This summer at home felt almost new to him after so long of being deprived of the experience, but he’d grown fond of it. It was all for Ciri, who loved Kaer Morhen dearly and needed a stable environment while she learned to use her magic. Everything those days was for Ciri. Even Lambert and Coën visited more frequently to see her. (And her alone, they’d claim. Perhaps for Jaskier’s music. Yennefer loathed the bard’s boasting when they said as much.)
The trip to the festival was for Ciri, too. But the fear in Lambert’s voice had Geralt choking on air. He knew it was a bad idea for them to go alone, without him, especially such a distance.
One of his brothers had just managed to get the gate open when he appeared, rushing through without pause. On the other side, a single horse stood. At its side was the trembling shadow of Yennefer of Vengeberg, a ghastly looking image of a once-powerful sorceress who held the reins with a deathly grip.
“Geralt,” she choked out, voice raspy, as though she’d been screaming.
Geralt was starting to hate his own name.
He took a few steps toward her but stopped at the sight of something on the horse. Someone.Almostsomeone.
A limp body lay across the saddle, buried under blankets.
The witcher felt his stomach leap into his throat. “Yen, what—?”
“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” she cried. Her voice trembled in a way he hadn’t heard in years, something broken and shattered in every word. “Geralt, I’m—”
When she tried to step forward, her body seemed to collapse on itself. The white-haired witcher barely caught her, holding her in his arms when she lost the strength to stand on. He wondered, absently, if she had walked the whole way here. Did she transport herself, the horse, and the…the corpse with magic?
Thecorpse. He couldn’t see their face. He couldn’t tell which of their companions laid dead before him; nausea crawled up his throat all of a sudden. For a moment, he almost didn’t want to know.
Was it Jaskier, his lips never to quirk up in a smile or open for a song again? Or was it Ciri, her bright eyes dead and cold?
“Geralt, I’m sorry,” Yennefer gasped. She grasped the back of his neck, desperate for something to ground her. “I’m so sorry.”
~
“Let them go and I won’t turn you into ashes,” the sorceress hissed.
She gathered flames in her hands. Before Sodden, it might have been an empty threat, but the sorcerer in front of her knew very well what her ash-ridden palms were capable of now. In fact, she would do it for lesser things than this, far lesser.
On the floor before him, Ciri squirmed dangerously. The skin of her cheek was unnervingly close to the blade in the other sorcerer’s hand, but she clearly didn’t care. On the ground beside her, Jaskier had been beaten to the floor for daring to open his mouth. Unfortunately, it was a situation he was all too familiar with. This time, however, his insults had been to keep the filth’s hands off Cirilla. It worked too well.
“I was sent to break you, Yennefer,” the sorcerer said. She didn’t even know his name. “I only need one alive to do that, so…pick your favourite.”
He grasped Ciri’s hair and dragged her upwards, exposing her throat.
It was the same way he’d pulled her out of her soft bed in the inn. Yennefer barely had a second to react and even that was too long. By then, Jaskier was flying at the man with his lute and beating him over the head with it, folly as it was. With both the bard and the princess in hand, the sorcerer had Yennefer as well.
“Tick tock, Yennefer,” he crooned. “The child or the bard. It’s your choice.”
“Over my dead body.”
He only laughed. It was a mid-tier cackle, she thought. She’d certainly heard more villainous attempts. “Not the deal. One dies.”
At his feet, hunched over and still spitting blood, Jaskier lifted his head to meet Yennefer’s gaze. Her fists clenched at his determined expression, disgust pooling in her gut. He wanted her to save Ciri. She wouldn’t let either of them die. Unfortunately, they were at a standstill.
“And if I don’t choose?” she questioned fiercely.
“Yen,” Jaskier hissed, receiving another swift kick to the stomach for his gall.
Ciri glanced at the bard. “Don’t you dare.”
The sorcerer rolled his eyes. “I’ll stand here as long as I have to. Or, if I get bored, I could always kill them both.”
“You wouldn’t live to make the second hit.”
“But the first, well, that one’s easy,” he mocked.
Ciri met Yennefer’s gaze. There was childlike terror in her expression, but trust as well. It was nothing like Jaskier’s determined, knowing look he gave the woman a moment after.
This was not Sodden. Making a rash, desperate decision would not have her kidnapped and without her magic. One wrong move here would lose her something far more precious and dear to her than any form of Chaos.
She clenched her fists, quenching her fire. Jaskier nodded sharply.
“The bard,” she declared, her voice sickeningly steady.
The sorcerer grinned and moved his knife away from Ciri’s throat just as her eyes went wider than plates. “Very well.”
“No! Jaskier!” the girl cried. She tried to move to him, but the sorcerer stopped her with a click of his tongue.
“If you love the girl so much, I’m sure this will hurt more.”
Despite his early words, he lunged for Ciri. She yelped. Before she or Yen could do a damn thing, Jaskier flew at the sorcerer with a furious cry. He tackled him to the ground, both of them falling. Yen blinked and the bard was horrifyingly still above their kidnapper, a muted shock on his face.
He lifted his hand, and blood dripped off his fingers.
“JASKIER!”
Her scream was drowned out by Ciri, who wailed. From deep in her chest came her Chaos and its wind, driving the room into a restless hurricane. Yennefer blocked her face with her arms, but couldn’t hold against it. Her back slammed into a wall. The shrieking of the young girl had her ears ringing and similar screams from the sorcerer indicated his were as well. Regardless, he’d been thrown off Jaskier, leaving Ciri to run to him.
The girl didn’t take a breath, shrieking her heart out as she held Jaskier with trembling hands. When she finally did stop her screams, she broke them with heaving sobs.
“Stay awake, stay awake—” she begged. Her voice was gravelly, worn from the rage and the fear and the grief. “Hold on, please, Jaskier!”
Yennefer sent a ball of magic at the other sorcerer, who had just been standing again. With a shout, the two were at it, sparks flying and Chaos going wild.
Ciri didn’t spare them a glance, desperately putting pressure on the massive wound across Jaskier’s doublet. He held her hands back, one of his own reaching up for her face. With a gentle, pale hand he caressed her cheek.
“It’s alright,” he whispered, hair clinging to his sweaty forehead. “I’ll be alright, dear, don’t cry. Shh, shh, it’s not your fault. Look at me. It wasn’t your fault, I swear.”
“He was going to kill me.” She hiccupped, tears streaming down her cheeks and turning them red. “You stopped him. Why? Why? It was supposed to be me!”
His hand grasped her shawl, the precious one from her grandmother. “No. Never, do you hear me? I would do it again, Ciri, again and—” he was cut off by his own hiss of pain.
“Brat!”
Ciri opened her mouth to scream, but a calloused hand slapped over her face, silencing her. He ripped her away from Jaskier, dragging her toward another corner, where a portal appeared with a quick flick of his hand.
Yennefer, recovering from a nasty blow, cried out. “Ciri!”
“Yennefer!” She screeched, the sound muffled as she pushed and kicked against the sorcerer’s grasp. “Yen! Jaskier! Yen—”
A woosh of magic cut her off, and then she was gone.
Yennefer howled, racing forward even though the portal was long gone. She slammed her fists against the wall, quivering with rage. “Fuck. Fuck!”
Her palms fell against the wood a moment later, defeated.
Then, she realised.
“Jaskier!” she gasped out, whirling around. She flung herself to the ground next to him. Her hands went to his shoulders, shaking him viciously. “Bard! Bard, wake up! Wake up, damn you!”
The bard moved with her, putty under her hands. She realised he wasn’t moving an inch, not even looking up at her through his dark hair. Quickly, she brushed aside the locks. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw his eyes.
They were dull now, cold and empty and wrong. His skin was still warm under her touch, as was the blood staining his fanciful clothes.
“Come on, you useless fuck, he has Ciri! We have to—” Yennefer gasped for breath, shaking her head as if to shake off the idea that he wouldn’t respond. “Get up! Get up, damn it!”
He did not move.
She pulled him close, her face in his hair. “Please, Jaskier. I’m—I’m sorry. Gods, I’m so fucking sorry, please just get up. Get up.”
In his limp, lithe fingers, he clutched a blue shawl with golden tassels.
“Jaskier?”
~
Geralt couldn’t bear to let go of Jaskier when he pulled him down from the horse. Vesemir had appeared, barking orders to the other witchers to deal with the horse or something like that. He could hardly hear over the cotton in his ears. Maybe, if he’d had the ability to, he would have been crying. Instead, he felt a gaping hole in his chest.
Yennefer cried enough for the both of them, her face buried in his shoulder as she avoided looking at the bard anymore.
Meanwhile, Geralt had brushed his hair out of his face and done nothing but stare.
He almost looked asleep. He was…peaceful, like those nights out under the stars with all four of them. Ciri would try to last the night with them, but she always drifted off beside Jaskier, whose lilting voice lulled her right to sleep.
More than anything, Geralt wished for this to be a nightmare. Then, he could wake up and find the three of them worrying over him, ready to coddle him into his grave. Ciri would curl up under his arm and snore into the early afternoon, utterly dead to the world. Yennefer would run her hands through his hair with gentle mutterings of comfort. Jaskier…Jaskier would tease him, the big, bad White Wolf, but he would always have a cup of something warm and a tune to hum him right back to sleep. It was silly, wanting a comfort he never needed.
“Where is she?”
Yennefer nearly jumped at his voice. She only shook her head, unable to cry anymore. “I don’t know. I’m sorry, I don’t—”
“Shh, it wasn’t your fault,” he murmured, tucking her close. “It wasn’t.”
Her shoulders shook. “Ciri’s gone, Jaskier’s—and I’m here. Fuck, he still has her, fuck—Geralt, what do we do?”
“Fuck.” He grimaced, a grunt barely passing his lips. “We’ll find her, Yen. We will.”
“He’s gone,” she whispered, weaker than she’d been before. “He’s not coming back; I can’t—I can’t bring him back, Geralt. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
It was a crisp summer morning when they buried Jaskier.
It’s that time of year again! Due to the huge response to the first ever Angstpril event last year, we are excited to announce that we are hosting the event again this year!
All prompts, FAQs and rules can be found in the graphics and below the cut!
Reiken tilted his head slightly as he watched Alice in front of him. He felt slightly confused, like the words she just said did not want to make any sense.
“…What?” he asked, softly.
Alice just looked at him with a flat look. "I need to go to one of the villages" she said.
“…Alone?”
“No, silly” Alice said “You’re coming with me”
“….but…. that means….”
“Yes” she said, nodding “That means, you have to leave the cottage”
Reiken shook his head, frowning. "I…. don’t want to…“ he muttered, almost like he was pouting.
Alice rolled her eyes. "Sage….” she said “You cannot hide here…. please come with me? I promise we wouldn’t be gone for that long. And as soon as I’m done, we can come back”
“….. promise….?” Reiken muttered, glancing at her.
Alice smiled and nodded. "Yes…. I promise" she said happily “I’ll get everything ready, so don’t worry”
Reiken sighed and nodded slightly. "Alright….“ he said softly “When….?”
“Tomorrow?” Alice asked.
“Alright” Reiken said shaking his head “Then it’s…. over faster”
Alice chuckled before she hugged Reiken, but quickly pulled back, since he wasn’t really used to it and would go completely stiff. As she pulled back she patted him on the shoulder.
“Thank you so much, Sage” she said, smiling happily.
Reiken blinked at her, before he sighed and nodded, patting her lightly on the head.
Alice smiled, before she turned and danced towards her room, to get ready.
“I’m sorry, Madame Beifong. Our construction team is working overtime, but it will be days before we have reconfigured the building to accommodate the spirit vines. Your apartment has been emptied, and we will be happy to bring your belongings to your office.”
Aether watches as Bennett takes a hit. In the midst of battle, his team have to do everything they can to keep him alive.
PG for battles.
Had a horrible migraine today, so I went digging through my scrap work for something to post for Angstpril. Fortunately I had one more thing left, and it was good for this prompt (～￣▽￣)～
My boy Bennett deserves the world. We can add this to the pile of ‘fics that don’t really do anything, but it’s nice to write about the current party out in the wild’. This has a second part I’ll upload in a few days.
For @chaos-company’s Angstpril 2022 - 'Failed Escape’
=============
Aether grabbed for him before the blasts hit, but it had been too late. His voice was so unused to hitting any sort of decibel that his grief-stricken howl of fear had cracked into a bark and still rang throughout the chasm. His footsteps beat the ground as he threw himself towards the fallen body.
“Bennett!” He tumbled to his side and grabbed at his collar. His best friend hung limply from his knuckles. He could hear himself pant and feel the blood drumming in his ears as the colour drained from Bennett’s skin. No, no-no-no-no. His hand leapt to his face. He was already cold. Can blood even drain that fast?
Instinct overtook common sense as he bundled his friend’s fallen body in his arms and cradled his skull, staring at nothing, panicking in empty circles, as his body thumped with fear. He heard his voice barking again.
“Kaeya!” Like a bad dream, it felt like his voice barely carried. “Kaeya!!”
tw for nightmares, animal attack, and mentioned character death
The twin moons of Lothal shone bright across the plains, casting the night in a blue-ish tinge. A wind blew that rustled the grasses. High up, in the mountains, it was fierce, cold. Yet Ezra Bridger still stood outside, pacing.
Something was wrong. Something was missing.
The leather of his clothes kept him warm to some degree, but there was a coldness inside. An emptiness of sorts.
Rohan whimpered, and Pema put him to her breast. Silently, she begged him to stay quiet.
A groan nearby startled her. She felt around in the dark, feeling only the wooden floor. The person groaned again and their movements sounded metal, somehow.
another excerpt from ‘Coriander and Lilies’ they don’t want to let each other go yet :( find the full chapter here
Angstpril 2022 - Day 16: Holding On Too Tight
The night was violet and dark blue around them. The moon was huge and full and bright. As Kya blinked dazedly the vibrations of her intense orgasm still echoing through her, her head still swimming with the smell and feel of Lin all around her, she was having trouble discerning the stars from the blinking lights of the fireflies in the sky above them. The air smelled heavy and sweet around them, almost like summer, except that the chill was quickly settling in, making her shiver. Lin pressed her lips to Kya’s shoulder, breathing her in deeply. Over the next few moments, they rose and stretched, beginning to dress. Lin guided them through the small stretch of woods back to the beach and wrapped her arm around Kya to pull her closer, trying to keep her warm on the walk back to the villa.
They walked around the back of the large house. Voices were drifting out to them from inside, warm orange light falling from the windows to cast lightly on to the ground in the darkness. Lin allowed herself to be guided by Kya, her hand in hers, to the back door of the villa that was rarely ever used. The wilderness pressed in close behind the back of the house and Lin thought she spotted the old lilac bush, huge and twisted, no longer in bloom this late into autumn. They entered the villa through the small back sunroom, making their way quietly to the kitchen and up the small staircase there. The one that servants used when they were caring for the villa while the royal family was away. Izumi, the same as her father, liked them to be alone, fending for themselves when they stayed here together. So, the kitchen was empty, and the staircase dark and dusty. The boards creaked under their feet as they made their way upstairs to their rooms to change. In a private bathroom between their rooms, they freshened up, pulling the grass from each others hair with quiet laughs. They washed the scent of each other from their skin. They kissed softly while they worked, sharing tender touches, weighted looks. But they barely spoke. Lin sighed and shivered when cool water ghosted across the skin of her neck as Kya healed the bruises there, making them disappear slowly as if they were never even there at all. Lin didn’t know why it was making her sad until she urged Kya to heal some of her own before they went back downstairs to join the others.
“I don’t want to.” Kya said quietly, shaking her head. “I don’t want to forget this yet.”
Lin pulled her close, bringing her into a soft, wet kiss. Kya leaned into her, the heat in her beginning to pool in her belly once more at the slow and languid kisses. Then she broke away, lifting Lin to sit on the sink. She bent more water from the cup on the counter and opened Lin’s legs to heal the numerous violet marks that colored her silky thighs. Lin gasped at the feel of Kya’s hands on the soft skin there, the chill of the water as it healed her.
“Wait. Stop.” Lin said after a second, grabbing her wrist then letting it go gently. Kya bent the water into the sink next to them, looking at Lin curiously. Lin touched the bruises on her thighs lightly, tenderly. Then she looked up at Kya, her green eyes stormy with emotion. “I don’t want to forget this either.”
Kya looked at her with a confusing mix of emotions behind her eyes. Lin grasped at her neck, her hair, pulling her down to kiss her sweetly. When she leaned back, she swiped her thumb along Kya’s chest at a particularly large bruise that stretched along her collarbone.
“We should probably cover up some more, though.” Lin admitted with a soft chuckle. She kissed Kya once more before she jumped off the counter and led her back to the hall.
…
Lin spent the night with Kya, wrapped up in her body and the soft sheets, the ocean breeze floating in around them peacefully. Kya was promising to write her from the south and making Lin promise to visit her down there once she had settled in. She was feeling happy for Kya, in a small way, to see her quietly excited and willing to try something new, something she had never done before. Settle down, plant roots. But the fact that she was going to the actual end of the icy earth was making her stomach twist into knots. Lin knew that this thing with Kya was right. She knew that it was what she wanted. More than anything she had ever wanted before. But she was forcing herself to push that knowledge down now. Because it was going to hurt too much once Kya was gone and Lin was home, alone, once more. It just wasn’t the right time for them. Maybe it never would be. But she was going to enjoy it while she could. While she could grasp it firmly in her hands. While she could still roll over into Kya in bed, pressing their bodies together tenderly. While she could arch her neck, stretching up, diving her hands into silky hair to pull Kya down for a sweet kiss. While she could fall asleep beside her, laying next to her through the night up until the quiet moments before the silver light of dawn began to breach the horizon.
Her body woke slowly. Her internal clock was right on time as usual but it was harder to wake up with a warm, soft body slung heavily over her in the best kind of way, urging her to stay in bed forever. Lin removed herself from Kya’s embrace reluctantly, a dark gnawing pit in her belly. She rose and dressed quietly before turning back for one last look at her sleeping lover. Her fingers brushed messy brown hair back softly from Kya’s sweet face. She pressed her lips to her temple, breathing her in deeply. Trying to memorize her smell. Like saltwater and sun rays and lilies. Lin wasn’t sure when they would be able to be together like this again. And that thought scared her. So much. But, after another breath, she left the room anyway, closing the door softly behind her.
When she turned, Lin was faced with Izumi where she stood across the hall, poised at the door of her own room. Izumi’s eyes glinted in surprise but before she woke up enough to tease her friend, she was able to consciously note the turmoil in Lin’s green gaze. The look of pain on her face. And she knew that now was not the time. No words were passed between them as they looked at each other but Lin found herself being easily comforted by Izumi’s presence. Her friend reached out to her gently, squeezing her fingers where they hung at Lin’s side. Lin looked at their fingers where they were connected together softly, gathering strength from her old friend’s comforting touch. Then she took a deep breath and let it go shakily. Lin looked back up at Izumi, her gaze harder now, more guarded. She withdrew her hand from hers and placed it on Izumi’s shoulder, squeezing briefly as a sort of thanks. Then she walked back to her room in silence to pack up her things before the rest of the world awoke.
Outside by the ocean, Lin looked on as the waves rose and fell among the mist that clung to the surface of the water. Silver sunlight broke through the morning haze softly and Lin knew that Kya would wake soon, looking for her then. When she couldn’t find her she might continue on, going for her dawn swim, hoping to find her. Or she might already know that Lin had left, growing angry or sad or maybe nothing at all. Lin forced herself not to think on it as she made her way back across the beach and started her journey home.
one of my favorite scenes from ‘Coriander and Lilies’. Also angsty AF. they are definitely ✨just friends✨ definitely would never kiss each other. definitely not. except…. find the full chapter here
Angstpril 2022 - Day 15: Something Unexpected
When they reached the very top of the wheel’s journey, the breathy gasp from Kya pulled Lin from her thoughts. High up here, they could see everything, far in every direction. The ice and snow was multifaceted, sparkling almost like gemstones in the low sunset over the deep blue ocean. Everything was bathed in blankets of pink and golden light. Gold like the splashes of warmth in Lin’s green eyes, Kya was thinking as her friend stirred in her loose embrace and looked up at her. The arm around her had been innocent enough, meant to warm her, but now the gesture was doing something else entirely. Or maybe it was doing exactly that. To the both of them. Warming them up completely. The pink sunlight around them mirrored the pink of Kya’s tongue as Lin watched it dart out to lick her lips, suddenly dry from being exposed to the cold wind high up here in the sky.
When Lin shivers she isn’t sure if it’s from the cold or from the look in Kya’s darkening eyes when she catches Lin staring at her mouth. She allows herself to be brought in to the waterbender closer, instinctually seeking out the heat of Kya’s skin. She uses her nose to nudge her face into the small patch of skin visible at Kya’s neck, causing her coat to fall open further, letting more warmth escape. Lin’s face presses against her chest, her breath at her neck, her mouth brushing softly against hot skin. Kya’s heart is racing and her head is swimming, heat rising up from her belly to beat behind her bones and bring a haze to her mind. Her hand is in Lin’s dark hair before she can stop it and the earthbender sighs breathily and leans into her, urging her on. Kya presses her lips lightly, almost shaking, to Lin’s forehead. Lin feels dazed, drunk on the comforting and sweet scent of Kya’s skin all around her. Her eyelids flutter shut heavily and she applies more pressure to Kya’s neck with her mouth when the waterbender shivers beneath her. Lin raises her head suddenly, Kya still lingering near her hairline, breathing her in, and their lips meet with the ghost of a touch. Kya’s heart nearly stops at the barely there pressure of Lin’s lips against her own and she doesn’t dare to move. When Lin’s breath enters her mouth shakily, in a quiet gasp, Kya nearly loses all control. She sighs and leans into Lin’s unexpected touch, strong, slim fingers diving under her coat to grip the skin at her waist. It’s taking everything she has to remain still. Too afraid to move, too afraid to let this end. She chokes back a groan as Lin’s hand travels across her stomach, the muscles there twitching under her touch. Her fingers tighten in Lin’s hair in what should be a warning but instead causes Lin’s eyes to fly open and Kya watches them quickly grow dark before they flutter shut once more. Kya’s breaths are coming in gasps and Lin seems to be taking them into herself, letting the soft desperate sound of them fuel the fire starting to burn in her own belly. Kya isn’t sure how much longer she can hold back. How much longer she can last without finally pressing her mouth fully to Lin’s, tasting her on her tongue, hearing the other woman gasp into her mouth over and over. She needed her and she was nearly shaking in anticipation. When Lin’s mouth stirs against hers finally, lightly like a whisper, Kya can’t help the small, strangled moan that escapes from the back of her throat. The sound of it startles Lin, causing her to push away from Kya, a hand at her chest. Kya felt her heart drop into her stomach then, her mind instantly clearing as the implications of what had just happened slammed into her. She watched Lin desperately. The earthbender wouldn’t even meet her eyes, her body as rigid as stone now. Fuck, what had she done? Lin’s eyes blinked rapidly, as if trying to break out of the haze that had settled over the both of them. Kya pressed her fingers to her own mouth in disbelief and then ran a hand through her dark brown hair anxiously. When Lin finally looked at Kya her chest swelled with regret and confusion and want and so many things she couldn’t process. Kya looked as if she were trying not to yell or curse or cry, her eyes fixed on the metal floor of the cart as they continued their slow descent.
“Lin,” Kya finally choked out. She stopped when Lin held up her hand and then jolted away from her as if she had been burned, creating some much needed space between the two women.
Anger flared in Kya’s chest at the water beginning to brim in her eyes. At the silence that reverberated loudly off of Lin. At how damn slow this wretched wheel was returning them to solid ground. She wanted so badly for them to be away from this great metal thing and back in the snow with the festival and the lights that had grown brighter and warmer in the falling darkness. She wanted her and Lin to go back to how they had been before they had gotten on this thing together. Happy, elated, content, relaxed. Instead, all Kya could feel now was her lips practically aching from the sudden loss of Lin’s and the fear and regret pooling in her belly sickly as her friend still refused to speak.
“I’m sorry.” Kya gasped out as they reached the platform.
Lin struggled with the gate for only a second before bending it off its hinges and leaping to the ground.
“Can we just talk about it?” Kya called after her, jumping from the cart herself.
She followed Lin as she stalked through the snow in thunderous silence. Kya felt unsteady, still in a state of shock, confusing emotions ricocheting around her body. She slid in the snow as she tried to keep up and lost Lin in the crowd when she had to stop herself from falling.
“Lin!” Kya yelled out, slamming her foot down into the ground in frustration and defeat. The ice cracked around her and she sunk down into the snow, her hands burying numbly in the frozen water. She forced herself to continue to bite back the tears but once strong arms surrounded her, pulling her back on to her feet, she finally let them go.
“Hey, sis. It’s going to be okay.” Bumi soothed her, pulling her in close. She noted the tone of confusion in his voice and felt a brief second of relief knowing that he couldn’t have seen them that far up in the sky. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Kya only shook her head as she cried silently into his chest, feeling like an idiot. A stupid little girl with a stupid crush who had stupidly tried to kiss her little brother’s stupid girlfriend.
“I fucked everything up.” Kya mumbled into his chest, swallowing a sob she refused to let free.
“Well that’s alright,” Bumi said, stroking her hair with his heavy hands. “That’s kind of like our calling card. People are used to it.”
Kya laughed breathily, shoving her older brother away from her as she dried her face. She watched as he scratched his head awkwardly before looking at his sister. Looking into his eyes, Kya saw suddenly that he knew more than she had originally hoped.
“So you like her, huh?” He said quietly. The look on his face was one of unusual sincerity and concern. Kya’s eyes scrunched up when she began to blink back more tears. Bumi quickly smoothed her hair back again and wrapped his arm around her as they started to walk. “Well, no one will hear anything from me. Let’s just go get your stuff from the room before this gets any worse, yeah?”
Kya nodded, following her brother’s lead.
“You can bunk with me until we leave in a couple days.” He reassured her. “Although, knowing Lin, she will find a way to fuck off as soon as she can.”
“Don’t say that.” Kya whispered, her voice broken.
“I only meant that, she isn’t the kind to sit around in an uncomfortable situation. She’s…”
“Avoidant.”
“Sure, yeah. Avoidant”
Bumi deposited his sister into his room and left her throwing his bag and things from the second bed as she freshened it up for herself. He sighed, making his way to her room to gather her belongings. What a mess.
excerpt from the first chapter of Earth After Rain. you can find the whole thing here.
Angstpril 2022 - Day 14: Alone
The Beifong estate in Gaoling was too large. But at least that meant the gardens were large enough to hide in as well. And right now? Spirits, did Toph need a moment to herself. Alone, away from her hovering, worrisome parents. Well…almost alone. In the grass beside her, little Lin was stirring among the soft spring blades. Toph smiled as her daughter traced lines in the dirt, babbling happily. It almost seemed as if she were creating elaborate patterns in the soft soil between the roots of the enormous tree they were sitting under. Toph loved to sit outside with Lin and watch as the chaotic lines formed in her mind with each of her daughter’s strokes in the earth with tiny fingers. She loved the way Lin would giggle, and then crawl over her head and chest where Toph lay in the grass. She would clasp her earth covered hands on either side of her mother’s face, streaking her cheeks with soil. Toph could feel the grains of loamy earth where they dusted Lin’s chubby little arms. She stroked her hair and found a few soft petals that had fallen down from the branches above that were in fragrant spring bloom. When Toph smiles at that, Lin laughs and she realizes suddenly that it seems like her baby loves to see her mother happy. Toph loves to hear her simple, tiny little laughs.
The peaceful moment alone with Lin comes to an end soon after, though. When Toph smells rain on the breeze and feels a drop splash against her skin, she knows it is time to steel herself and head in once more. She has barely set one foot back inside the estate when her own mother is crowding her once more. Lin is squirming on her hip, playing with Toph’s hair where it hangs in her face. The deafening, disappointed clucking emanating from Poppy is causing Toph to grind her teeth in annoyance. Her body is instantly tense again.
“What is it now?” Toph sighs, feeling very tired suddenly.
“You shouldn’t have let the baby get so dirty.” Poppy huffed. “Or get you so dirty, either.”
Toph felt her mother brush her hair out of her face which she knew was streaked with earth from Lin’s hands.
“She was just playing.” Toph grated out.
“She’ll need a bath now.” Poppy chided. When she felt her mother’s hands tugging Lin out of her arms, Toph grabbed her daughter back instantly, holding her close.
“I can get my own daughter clean, thank you.” Toph snipped, rolling her eyes. “I do it just fine on my own when we are back at home.”
Toph was walking away already before her mother could get out another word. But she followed her anyway, trailing Toph with loud sounds of disapproval. When she spoke next, what she said stopped Toph abruptly in her tracks.
“You are going to need help with Lin. You can’t do this alone.”
“Mother.” Toph warned, turning toward her stiffly.
Her voice was almost shaky, her body rigid with anger and frustration. For a moment, Toph thought that Poppy was considering it wiser to just drop the subject. Unfortunately, her mother had never been one who could empathize with or navigate the nuances of a touchy topic. Especially when it came to her daughter. After a sharp breath, Poppy pressed on.
“Where is her father?”
“It doesn’t matter!” Toph yelled, continuing on to her rooms. Thankfully, as she stormed across the slate tiles of the estate, she didn’t sense her mother pushing on after her.
“You are going to need help, Toph.” Poppy called out in exasperation.
“I will not.” Toph thundered. Lin was clenching her little fist in her mother’s tunic at her shoulder anxiously. When she started to fuss a bit, Toph brought her closer, soothing her with a hand at her head and back. “I am her mother. And I am enough.”
The slam of her door was deafening as she shut her mother out. As Lin continued to fuss in the quiet room, Toph regretted letting her temper get the best of her. Nothing to do about it now though. She rocked Lin in her arms as she went to the bathroom to fill the large sink, normally used for washing clothes. As the water rose against the porcelain, she walked to a window in the bedroom, opening it so she could smell the rain. The sound of it seemed to soothe Lin which she was glad for. Toph brought her close, burying her nose in her soft hair and breathing her in, loving the smell of the earth and sun on her baby’s skin. Back in the bathroom, Toph lowered Lin into the sink carefully, grabbing the soap and nourishing oil from the counter beside it. As she got her nice and clean, Toph talked to her daughter, smiling softly at the answering babbles and little splashes of suds and droplets that would hit her tunic and face as Lin slapped the water. Toph was careful and took her time as she got into all the little chubby folds of her arms, washing away the dirt and wiping her clean, applying a little bit of sweet smelling oil to some of her dry patches of skin. Turning the faucet back on, Toph quickly washed her own face and arms and then flicked it back off, unplugging the drain. Lin squealed in a startled sort of way like she always did when the gurgling growl of the drain started up around her as it sucked down the dirty, soapy water.
“Shh, shh, I got you baby.” Toph soothed, reaching for the towel hanging from the iron hook on the wall beside her.
Lifting Lin from the sink, Toph wrapped her up in the soft towel, making sure to cover her head and tuck in her feet. She swiped her thumb along her daughter’s cheek and up the bridge of her nose as she walked her back to the bedroom. Lin was squirming inside the towel, pushing at the fabric with her arms and legs. Toph laid her on the bed, planting loud kisses up her round belly, making her squeal with laughter then. Toph grinned.
“Let’s get you warm and dry, yeah little badgermole?” Toph asked Lin, who even seemed to hum contentedly in response as her mother gently rubbed the towel against her head, drying her hair.
The sound of the rain was wrapping around her comfortingly as she dried Lin and dressed her. Her eyes began to droop wearily as she finished, pulling Lin up to sit on the bed as she leaned against the mattress from her kneeling position on the hard floor. When she heard the tiny huff of air from Lin’s little yawn, Toph chuckled warmly.
“Me too.” Toph concurred, yawning her self. “We can probably take a little sleep, yeah?”
Toph stood and pulled Lin to her, walking around to the side of the bed and pulling down the quilt so she could climb in. As she settled between the sheets, Lin was already burrowing into Toph’s chest, her hand gripping dark hair where it hung against her neck. Her mind wandered troublingly as Lin snored beside her. Her tiny fingers twitched in sleep, pulling at the strands of her mother’s hair. Toph ran her hand over Lin’s small back, up and down softly, trying to soothe her and herself. Usually, Toph would instantly calm during soft moments like these with her daughter. They were sometimes few and far between, depending on work and Lin’s sometimes unpredictable mood. Toph loved to lay sleepily with Lin, touching her daughter’s face, feeling her little nose under her fingertips, the soft skin of her checks and the silkiness of her clean hair. But in this moment, Toph could not stop her mind from racing, harping on what her mother had said. Poppy’s words were still gnawing at her frustratingly. All she could think about now was Kanto. Which was regrettable because thinking about him still hurt…
Their split had been mutual. They hadn’t even really been explicitly seeing each other. Toph had made sure of that. Even now, with it essentially far behind her, she wondered if she had made the right decision. It had been difficult at first, to end things, to let him go, watch him leave the city. Their daughter was nearly a year old now. It had been thirty-nine long weeks that Toph had carried Lin. Three of those weeks were spent missing Kanto more than she wanted to admit to herself. Two of those weeks she had began to let a begrudging acceptance settle over her. Seven of those weeks, she hadn’t even known she was pregnant. At this point in time, she now had a deeper and more visceral relationship with Lin than she had ever had with Lin’s father. Lin was her whole world now. Kanto was a good man. Toph would never regret what they had, because it gave her Lin. But she also found that, she rarely ever wished for more. The only times she did were in moments of weakness or uncertainty. When she was being made to feel as if she wasn’t enough for her daughter. Toph knew that she was. She was enough. And no matter how terrified she was every excruciating second in some long, long moments of insecurity, terrified that she wouldn’t be able to protect Lin, terrified of the possibility that anything could ever happen to her baby, Toph knew in her bones that she was capable of this. Worthy of this. And she wanted to do it right. She wanted to be better than her parents were. She wanted everything for Lin. She wanted her to be safe, to have the freedom to make her own decisions, live the life she chose. Starting now, even. Starting with her being free to crawl around among the roots of the trees, with no real purpose or destination. Getting messy, soil streaking her skin, soft petals in her hair, tracing patterns into the earth because she wanted too and because she liked to see her mother smile.
sorry I disappeared. work got crazy. but i’m gonna try and catch up. we will see! finished this one finally for Angstpril. Find the full thing (with the song in the end notes) here
Angstpril 2022 - Day 13: Never Enough
Stones, buried deep in the earth of Air Temple Island, began to vibrate far below her feet as her heart rate increased. Lin could almost hear the great, wrenching screech of stone against stone, against hard-packed dirt and silt, against the roots of the trees that started to topple over as the earth shifted violently beneath them. Tenzin looked around anxiously, his grey eyes flashing with fear.
“Lin, please.” Tenzin urged her. “Calm down.”
Those two words. That was it. That was all it took for her to fall over into a blind rage at the pleading yet still somehow pious sound of his voice. Several large stones burst from the ground, loud as explosions. The quaking of the earth unsettled Tenzin on his feet and he leapt into the air, circling her on his glider.
“Get the fuck back down here, you coward!” Lin roared. “You don’t get to run away from this.”
Earth and bits of stone dusted her clothes and skin and hair as the giant boulders around her began to crack and rupture, as fragile as bird eggs. She wasn’t even sure why she had summoned them to her. Lin knew she couldn’t attack Tenzin. No matter what he had done. She knew that she couldn’t hurl boulders at the temple and greenhouse and other surrounding buildings. Someone could get hurt. But still, her rage and her disbelief and her sorrow was burning so fiercely, just under her skin. It was so heavy and piercing and agonizingly profound. It felt so much like plummeting, falling — this twisting, pulling heartbreak in her chest — that she had only been able to reach out and grab desperately for whatever she could feel to just try and make it stop.
Lin hurled the biggest chunk of earth into the bay, narrowly missing Tenzin who twisted in the air. Another was sent into the vacant gazebo nearby, the sound of splintering wood and shattering rock booming out into the quiet afternoon. By now, a small crowd of acolytes had gathered by the entrance of the temple, looking on with extreme concern. One of them must have ran to get Aang or Katara. They both appeared just as Lin bent a cloud of dust and sharpened pebbles aimed directly for Tenzin’s glider when he swooped lower to avoid another falling tree. A blast of air padded his fall and he stumbled clumsily to his feet before her, his glider in tatters beside him.
“Lin, you have to stop this.” Tenzin growled at her, his voice a mixture of anger, shame, and fear. “I know this is difficult to hear. Difficult to accept. I wish it didn’t have to be this way. I never wanted to hurt you.”
“Oh really?” Lin laughed darkly and more fractures cut through the earth beneath them, making him flinch. “I’m sorry, but, how was I supposed to take this all, Tenzin?”
Tenzin sputtered and stuttered but in the end he didn’t respond. The furrow in his brow was deep and creased. Earth and dust streaked his robes from her sudden onslaught just moments before. Aang started walking towards the two young benders but Katara stopped him at the bottom of the stairs to the courtyard. They both looked on, worried, but Lin couldn’t process that just yet. Couldn’t process the idea of having an audience for this particular humiliation. All she could focus on was Tenzin and the nearly petulant way he crossed his arms over his chest.
“Was I supposed to say ‘Congratulations on your child bride! I hope she’s old enough to give you the dozens of air-babies you so desperately, violently want. Let me just get out of your way’? Would that be more appropriate for you, Tenzin? Am I not allowed to be furious with you?” Lin asked. Another fracture split the earth, threatening to unseat the last remaining tree in their vicinity.
“No…I—” Tenzin muttered, refusing to meet her eyes now.
“You what?” Lin spat out, cursing the tears that sprung up at the edges of her eyes, surrounding the almost pitiful visage of him with a hazy, pain filled fog. A tortured vignette, standing before her. “You thought I would just forget all the times you promised me that you would always love me? Even though we both knew I could never give you what you wanted? Forget the way you wouldn’t let me end things years ago because you’d assured me that I was more than enough? That you and I were enough? Just as we were?”
“I do love you, Lin.” Tenzin’s voice shook, deep and filled with emotion. Having to see Lin like this in front of him, so filled with fury and a cutting, piercing hurt, it was almost too much for him to bear. He had never seen her look like this. Never saw her cry. Not once. Knowing that she was in this much pain because of him? He could barely stand it. Still, he knew nothing he could say would ever be enough to soothe her right now. Maybe not ever. “But things change.”
“They didn’t change for me, Tenzin!” Lin yelled, biting back the sob that tore through her chest, feeling it scratched and hooked into her throat. “I have always been who I said I was. I told you everything. Gave you everything I was able to give. I never hid anything from you. I would never put you through a betrayal like this.”
“Lin, I’m sorry.” Tenzin whispered, tears were falling into his beard but she wouldn’t let them invoke any empathy in her. Not right now. Not anymore. “This isn’t easy for me either.”
Lin’s fists clenched hard at her sides, her arms shaking, nails biting into her palm. Aang must have sensed that one more word from Tenzin might just send Air Temple Island crumbling apart, falling back into the sea, because he stepped forward then.
“What’s going on here?” Aang asked, his voice low and serious.
He waved the acolytes that had gathered by the temple away, leaving him, Lin, Tenzin, and Katara alone in the courtyard. Aang’s comforting and steady presence, the hint of sadness and disappointment in his eyes as he looked around the destroyed courtyard, and then between Tenzin and Lin, it was too much. This all was too much. Katara’s warm, gentle touch at her back as she tried to ease Lin’s shaking, tried to bring her closer, finally brought her out of her daze. Lin flinched away from her, skirting the many earthen voids that her boulders had left behind along with the fallen trees.
“You tell them.” Lin hissed out, jutting her chin out in Tenzin’s direction, clenching her jaw tight to keep from losing it all over again. “I don’t belong here anymore anyway.”
Katara and Aang called after her as she made her way down the hill to the dock but she ignored them. The ache in her chest was bitter and caustic, thick and pressing at the edges of her resolve. Every little bit of willpower she had left was being spent preventing herself from breaking down. Lin stared blankly at the blue water of the bay, exhausted and worn. Suddenly, even standing felt like a feat so she sat down on the wood of the dock, warmed by the strong summer sun. Despite all of the raw and astringent emotions that had just utterly throttled her, Lin was finding it impossible to fully process this as reality. How does one transition from what was supposed to be just another normal afternoon spent with the person you love to complete and total devastation? How does one recover from the absolute annihilation of a nearly decade long love? Of being told that…you would just never be enough. Not for him and not for anyone. In a matter of minutes, Lin had lost not only her best friend and lover, but her family too. Her sense of peace, her other home. The one that had felt more like home than her own ever had. It was impossible to cope with. Especially when she couldn’t even conceive it.
Slowly, as she boarded the ferry and let it carry her across the water, it all started to settle in. It sunk, weighted and bitter, into the pit of her stomach. The aching bite of it chewing at her more and more as the city grew closer and closer. The sickening feeling brought on by it all lingered within her persistently, for weeks. Lin avoided reading the papers, ignored all the comments traded back and forth not so quietly behind her back at work, neglected all the phone calls and letters from Katara and Tenzin. But still, the dull stab of it persisted. She had taken to walking in the park at night, unable to sleep with the incessant tugging of her insecurities, her fears, and her unwavering anger about the whole wretched thing. It was easy to deny how sad she was too, lonely and heartbroken, when she buried it underneath such a flaming and ferocious fury. It blanketed every other hurtful feeling inside her, scorched it all away beneath the onerous onslaught, like lava swallowing a village until nothing, not a single thing, is left alive.
The unmistakable bellow of a sky bison vibrated in the air above her head, pulling her violently from her thoughts. Spirits, could she not even take a walk alone in the park without him haunting her?
“Beat it, Tenzin.” Lin growled out as the bison landed heavily in front of her. “Or this time, you will be pulling rock shards out of your stupid bald head and not just your glider.”
“Lin?” Aang’s voice called as he stood in the saddle. “I thought that might be you.”
Lin stiffened, taken aback, suddenly glad she had refrained from using all the expletives that had been perched and ready on the tip of her tongue. Something told her that Aang would not have appreciated them being hurled at him. Not in the slightest. Appa let out a great, long-suffering sigh that caused Lin to smile weakly, small and lopsided as the wind of it ruffled her hair. She stepped forward and pressed her forehead to his nose, feeling his warm breath breeze against her face as he huffed and puffed at her.
“I missed you too,” she told Appa softly. Then Lin turned to face Aang as he stepped to the ground gracefully from the saddle. She was trying hard to quell the fluttering in her chest at his sudden presence. And the brief pang in her heart that had pierced through her at the thought of the person she had feared she would be forced to face, for a moment. “Did you need something from me?”
Lin was half hoping that some sort of calamity had struck the city, unbeknownst to her, during her short walk through the park. Something that she could rush off to help with in order to avoid the conversation currently playing out behind Aang’s concerned, grey eyes.
“Not particularly, no.” Aang admitted with the air of somebody who wanted to say more but was waiting patiently for the right opportunity to say it. Lin forced herself not to sigh in exasperation as Aang continued. “But now that you mention it, I suppose I could use some help with some things on the island. Things that can only be mended by the skills of an earthbender?”
“I don’t know.” Lin said tightly, flinching slightly at the mention of the havoc she had wreaked just a few weeks ago. The guilt that came along with her destruction of the courtyard spread, cold and thick in her chest. An icy balm to her fiery fury.
“You could come by tomorrow.” Aang pressed on gently, skillfully. “Tenzin will be tied up in the city all day with council business. And if I remember correctly, tomorrow is one of your weekly scheduled days off?”
“It is.”
“Excellent. So I will see you in the morning?”
“I suppose you will.” Lin relented with a sigh, uncrossing her arms so she could give Appa a pat before Aang climbed back into the saddle. “Goodnight, Uncle Aang. Appa.”
With a warm rush of air, they both took to the sky once more, leaving Lin alone to combat against the prickling, uncomfortable longing to just go home that lingered with her despite her best efforts. The island wasn’t her home any longer. If it ever even had been to begin with. Lin needed to focus on cleaning up her mess and that was all. Hoping for anything else was just going to make it harder to move on from what she had lost. A life filled with family, love, and belonging. The kind of life that she knew she would never be enough for.
Sersi holds his hand, and when she looks at him like that, eyes loving and forgiving despite everything, he can’t shake her off, no matter how much he wants to. So he stays.
His punishment - the one argued out over the course of several days, even calling Kingo and getting his opinion on all of this, that Sersi finally decides is the most fitting compromise to all of their problems - is exile, which is not much different from how he had been doing before all of this. The difference now is that he cannot reach out to them first, not unless it’s an emergency, and they get to decide when it’s over, not him.
He doesn’t have an apocalypse to wait for to take him away from all of this. His punishment now is that he has to learn to live with himself.
Little background fic for Marianne and her husband :)
It was raining when he came for her. A light spring shower, like the sky had just needed to flush out some extra rain they hadn’t gotten rid of yet.
It wasn’t like she was waiting for him. She had all but pushed him out of her mind. She was focused on getting out of this city, getting away from everyone here - her family, his family, him-
She didn’t want to leave him. How could she? He was hers, the love of her life, the father of her child (and it was her child, no matter that she had only found out about them within the past three days and everyone kept calling them ‘it’). But everyone had just proved how easily they could throw her aside. She couldn’t sit and wait for him to come and do the same. They had made promises, they loved each other, but it was different now.
They always said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. It was a strange thought to have, as the arm of the huge mech detached, hurtling towards the ground. Stranger was all the thoughts of everything she hadn’t done.
She hadn’t gone to Ember Island in the autumn to watch the leaves turn colours.
She’d never learned to paint, even though the oils had been sitting neatly in their packaging for over a year, waiting for her to have the time to open them, examining each perfect little tube, feeling each hair of the pristine brushes, unused and delicate in their potential.
Who would mourn her?
Really, truly, mourn her?
Not the inevitable plaque that would hang in the RCPD headquarters for a few decades, until people stopped remembering who she was. Not the flowers that acquaintances and former city council members would send. Su’s family didn’t even know her.
Su.
Lin turned, the sun glaring down through the arm and across her sister’s face, her eyes squeezed closed. At the end of things, they weren’t so different, after all.
Every millisecond an hour as the earth rushed up to meet them. An hour too short to move, to reach out for the ground, her arms were pinned at her sides and she was already so tired waiting for the impact.
She’d never kissed Kya.
A surprising thought to have just before being plunged into an unending, desiccated blackness.
She’d thought about it, yes.
A lot, in fact, especially since she wound up back in Republic City. Always beautiful, but now, spirits, she was unparalleled. Silvery hair that danced in the sunlight like waves, a infectious smile, hips that threatened to melt Lin’s brain in her skull.
She just knew Kya would smell like an open ocean covered in lotus flowers, and what she wouldn’t give to tangle her fingers in her hair, getting lost in it, letting herself disintegrate, one cell at a time. Lin could almost imagine the taste of her, all lips and tongue and soft, greedy moans, and no, she was not going to die today, actually.
She had to do at least that before they buried her corpse in earth.
She wasn’t giving up. Not until she tried.
It was the last thought she had before the impact knocked her unconscious.
Zhongli and Childe make it home together, together for the first time. Safe from the rain and safe from view, Childe sees that even now the old Archon needs him - just like he did when he found him in the Stone Forest.
We’re all done! Fic complete (✿ﾟ▽ﾟ). I hope you guys liked it… but I’m nowhere near done. I have a few plans for the third part to this fic, to really explore their love now that all the hard work is done. It might be whump-y.
They fell through the front door of Zhongli’s apartment and brought a torrent of water with them. It flushed across the black mahogany floorboards as if someone had overturned a bucket, and as their splashing feet followed the wave inwards they both spluttered with laughter.
Childe has never heard such a sound come from Zhongli before. The man didn’t laugh, as a rule. He had an old-fashioned habit of hiding laughter - any sound beyond a soft huff of air would be covered with his hand and accompanied by a light-hearted look of apology. He’d seen it many times before. But now he was breathless.
His brown coat and hair were black with rainwater, the gold in his eyes and tips of his hair glinting in the dim light. Childe’s red hair had been deepend by the water - they sparkled together.
Lin squared her shoulders for the march up the stairs to the Air Temple. Precautions aside, she knew this was going to hurt. The raid had gone well, but one too many triad thugs and one too few cops meant one brick had caught her unawares. She grunted with the effort of climbing the Thousand Steps, but the thought of bending her way up actually felt worse.
Finally, she emerged at the courtyard. She peeled away from the other visitors to step over to the observation point, looking back at the city. She stood still for several minutes to get her pain and breathing under control.
“You are many things, Obi-Wan, but a liar, you are not.”
Obi-Wan straightens and stands up. If Qui-Gon wants him to get to the point, then he’ll get to the point. “Why didn’t you tell me Master Dooku left the Order?”
OR: Qui-Gon fails to share some news and Obi-Wan hears about it from someone else… And he does a lot of stress cleaning.
There’s a feeling just before the storm hits. Every bird, creature, tree, blade of grass, is waiting expectantly. Some—like the mama bird to her babies in the nest—are waiting with chittering nervous energy. Others—like the tree—are stalwart and unmoving in the face of potential danger. And the storms here on Yavin IV are dangerous during monsoon season. So even though Luke is one to wait stalwartly, he does so with caution, with preparation. He makes sure Artoo and Grogu and any visiting others are inside. He makes sure his ship is battened down and secured. It’s an oversight that the temple hangar doesn’t have a door anymore. Leia still has no idea where the entire meters long door went, but she promises someone’s coming out to fix it. For now though, the best thing to do is get further inside the temple.
Kaeya never shares anything he doesn’t want to - his poker face is a thing of careful and loving craftsmanship. Aether respects it in his own quiet way, but won’t let an injury escape his notice.
G-rated. Kaeya&Aether, maybe a little shippy if you squint.
This is a really old (like, a month-and-a-half) short thing I made a bit nicer and am submitting for Angstpril. I wrote it after a Ruin Hunter almost wrecked my shit, so it accurately depicts what my party layout used to be.
For@chaos-company’s Angstpril 2022 - ‘Don’t shut me out.’
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“I’m fine,” Kaeya said with a smile. “The blade came nowhere close to me.” Folding his arms and leaning back against a tree, he faced them with a warmth in his eye and a gentle tone to his voice.
“Are you sure?” Bennett asked, but he seemed satisfied as he moved away to prepare the camp. “Sometimes the bad guys still get lucky, you know?” Kaeya nodded.
“That may be the case, but Treasure Hoarders are all clumsy swordsmen. I’ve never yet met someone who could even hit an opponent with the right end.”
Razor’s attention had been locked onto him since they had returned to camp. He’d started sniffing and scanning the area the moment they arrived, seeming agitated in his own quiet, reserved way. As the party settled down, he stepped closer, nose pointed in the direction of Kaeya’s folded arms.
