#ashton irwin blurb

A/N: Loosely based on the film “To all the boys I’ve loved before” as requested by @teehxk

This is part eight of a series and the final part

Pairing: Ashton Irwin x Reader

Word Count: 727

Warning(s): swearing

After the talk with my big brother, I felt more comfortable but I still couldn’t really think. My mind was as cluttered as my room. So I picked a playlist from Spotify and decided to clean my room. And I don’t mean the ‘oh, look what I found. This is from 5 years ago’ cleaning, I mean the taking everything out of the closet and drawers and Marie Kondo the shit out of it. During this massive cleaning spree, I thought it would be a great idea to take a walk. I drove myself to the beach and spend almost an hour there, the sand felt so great between my toes and the sound of the waves crashing really calmed me down. I hadn’t been to the beach for so long, I forgot how much I loved it. Then I drove myself home and organised the rest of my room.

It took me two whole days to clean and organise my room how I wanted it. During the second day, Kyan stopped by to apologize.
“So you didn’t really love me?” he asks.
“Well, I always thought you were attractive, if that makes it any better, but I believe I was more in love with the idea of dating my brother’s best friend”, I explain to him.
“Do you love Ashton?” Of all the things he could’ve asked me, he had to ask this and truth be told, I didn’t really have an answer.
“I don’t know. I thought I was, I mean we were so good at acting. Sometimes I pretended that it was real, that he actually loved me. It’s so strange really, I send all of those letters and I never got a love letter back”, I chuckle and look at Kyan.
“Maybe you just never noticed.” After this commend, he just leaves and I am flabbergasted. What the hell is that supposed to mean?

I walk back to my room to finish the cleaning when I notice the old shoebox sitting on my desk. I open the box and inside I find all the notes Ashton has ever send me. It dawned on me what Kyan meant by “maybe you just never noticed” because all of Ashton’s notes where in fact small love letters. I didn’t think anything of them at first, some I had never actually read, simply because we were pretending and there it was, a note written with a different colour pen and the date written above it from a few days before the ski trip.
I looked over to the clock on my wall, five thirty-five Ashton was still at basketball practice. I quickly freshen up and change my tracksuit for something a little more attractive. Then I run down the stairs and yell at my dad that I might be home for dinner around seven. As I step into the car, my nerves start to kick in.

I make my way to school as quickly as I can, while still following the rules, of course, we wouldn’t want a speeding ticket when I have to declare my love. As soon as I arrive at school, I don’t even bother parking the car, I just stop the car and run as fast as I can to the basketball court.

“Luke! I yell across the field, “have you seen Ashton?!”
“I think he went to the dressing rooms, because we’re already finished for the day”, Luke replies and I make a B-line towards the changing rooms. As I walk in calling for his name, I feel like Hilary Duff in that Cinderella film with Austin Ames, where she delivered that bad-ass speech.
Suddenly, I see him, a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair still wet, surrounded by a few of his mates. I don’t think about it twice, walk right up to him and kiss him on the lips.
“I love you too. I am so sorry that I didn’t realize it sooner, it’s just that Cam was fucking with my mind and I didn’t know if I co-” and right there and then he stops me and kisses me on the lips. (honestly to be honest the biggest cliché ever but eh it’s not so bad when it’s you getting kissed)
“So what now?” Ashton asks.
“No more contract, no more weird ass situations, just honesty and us.”

_______________________________________________________________

Hiii guys,

So this was the final part, I want to thank you guys for being so patient with me, school and internship have been killing me slowly… but yeah anyways I hope you enjoyed the series. And request for blurbs and one short are always open.

All the love, me xx.

A/N: Loosely based on the film “To all the boys I’ve loved before” as requested by @teehxk

This is part seven of a series.

Pairing: Ashton Irwin x Reader

Word Count: 781

Warning(s): cursing

After sleeping on Ashton’s shoulder for most of the bus ride and eating the candy he had gotten me, I actually felt a lot better than I had this morning. But oh boy that was about to change quick.

“I think it’s so cool that you came on the ski trip this year. And so brave of you to let your boyfriend sleep in someone else’s room. You’re so trusting, I remembered that about you.” I look at her confusingly. “Oh shit, I dropped it”, she says and grabs something from the parking lot. As she comes back up, I see a dangling silver charm in her hands. More accurately it was my silver charm that I had given to Ashton for save keeping a few nights before.

“Where did you get that?” I try to act cool, but I can feel my throat closing.

“Oh, Ashton gave this to me. Isn’t it the cutest?! Well.. say hi to your dad for me.” And she walks off with a smile. Right when she leaves, Ashton walks towards me.

“Are you ready to go?” He asks with a smile on his face. I almost forgot that he promised my dad he would take me home.

“Did you go to Camreigh’s room last night?”

“Uh yeah.. but it was nothing.”

“And you gave her my charm?” I can feel the tears starting to form in my eyes.

“Woah where is this all coming from? You just don’t understand the situation. Let me just drive you home and explain.”

“No. We’re done, in every way possible. And I would rather walk home”, and I start to walk away from him. To be honest, I kind of expected him to come after me and try to change my mind, but he just let me walk.

When I got home, I realized something had changed around the house. There were actual Christmas lights in the living room and there was a decorated Christmas tree in the dining room. Then I turned around and saw Ryver with his arms stretched out. I busted into tears and ran into his arms, I didn’t even realise how much I had actually missed him until now.

Right in the middle of watching the Perfect Date, there is a knock on the door. I tell Ryver to keep the movie going and make my way to the door.

“We need to talk.” Are the first words that I hear before I have even seen who it is. I look up and see that it is actually Ashton. I point to the front lawn and step out of the door before closing it. As Ashton tries to explain the situation, I am getting more and more angry and tired of everything. When I ask him to leave and he doesn’t I hear a voice behind me.

“She asked you to leave.” It’s Kyan.

“Oh my god, this isn’t about me or Cam at all this is all about you still being in love with Kyan.” And there it was. That stupid sentence that would have been shot to the ground by me seconds later, but no … Ryver had to be outside and heard Ashton.

“You’re in love with Kyan?” I had never heard my big brother sounds so sad and vulnerable at the same time and it broke my heart right there and then.

“LEAVE, BOTH OF YOU. NOW!” I yelled and ran after Ryver. “Ryverrr, please let me inside!” I yell as I knock on his door repeatedly. “Please, you have to let me explain. There is nothing going on!” Suddenly the door swings open and I almost hit Ryver on the head with my fist.

“I am so sorry Ryver. Honestly, I …”

“Don’t apologize. I don’t hate you, I could never. I just thought that you were trying to date Kyan now or something and I just got upset”, he says and opens his arms. In all honestly, Ryver and I were never really the ones to fight with each other. I think it’s got to do with the fact that we’re only 2 years apart which makes us a lot closer to each other than with Weston.

“How could you think I could ever do that to you?”

“I don’t know. It’s just that I have been so far away from home, and we don’t talk as much as we used to. What was I supposed to think.”

“The reason why we don’t talk much is that I was lying to every single person in my life. And I just couldn’t lie to you.”

“I love you, baby sister. Now let’s clean up this mess you made.”

A/N: Loosely based on the film “To all the boys I’ve loved before” as requested by @teehxk

This is part six of a series.

Pairing: Ashton Irwin x Reader

Word Count: 663

Warning(s): idk they kiss, if you are grossed out by the description I am sorry not sorry.

After Clive told me that Ashton might be waiting in the hot tub for me, I couldn’t not check it out. So I put my coat over my slip dress and went outside. I was freezing but it would probably be worth it.

“All by yourself out here?” I asked him, already knowing the answer because unless there was someone holding their breath underwater which is highly unlikely. Ashton looks up and then looks down at the water, finding it more interesting than talking to me. “So are you ignoring me now?”

“Oh right, I am the one ignoring you. You’re the one who didn’t want to sit next to me on the bus while we’re supposed to be a couple. You’re the one who didn’t want to go skiing with me. You’re the one ignoring me. And now you’re saying that I am ignoring you? Funny.”

“Woah there, cowboy. What’s with all the hating on me? It was good that you sat next to Cam because you wanted to make her jealous and get her attention and that’s exactly what you got.”

“Yeah right.” Is all I got from him, so I decided to get a little closer. I walked to the other side of the hot tub and sat on it, with my feet dangling in the water. “For someone who has such good grades, you can be so dense sometimes.”

“What?” Honestly, to be honest, I am very lost at this point.

“I wanted to sit next to you, Y/N. I even got that candy that you like so much.”
“But the store that sells that is all the way across town.”

“Yeah, so if I went all the way to buy them. That must mean…” He trailed off, looking at me to help him finish that sentence.

“That you really like that candy too?” I knew I was wrong and I was only partly joking, hoping that he would actually say what I wanted him to say.

“Gosh, you are impossible.” At this point, I took off my coat and got into the pool in my dress. “Oh, you’re coming in… in your dress?”

“Yeah, I didn’t really expect this and I didn’t bring a bathing suit… so yeah.” I slowly moved through the water towards him and stopped right before him. He lifted me up and put me on his lap with my legs on either side of him. I was a little hesitant at first but then I look him in the eye. His look gave me permission to hold his face and my mouth slowly attached to his. Our lips moving ever so slowly and it was the best kiss I had ever had. I opened my mouth a little and let his tongue slip into my mouth. We stayed in the hot tub for a very long time, kissing, cuddling, more kissing. Until we felt that it was getting too late. We got out and both walking back to our floor, right before we parted I stood on my tippy toes and kissed him on the lips yet again.

“Good night”, I whispered.

“Good night, baby girl.”

The next morning it was time to leave again and everyone was getting ready for the bus ride back. When I stepped onto the bus people started clapping and cheering. I looked behind me to see if anyone was there, but when I didn’t see anyone I realized they were clapping and cheering for me. I couldn’t remember that I did anything to deserve it so I just let it slide and walked to Ashton. Still feeling a little uneasy about the whole situation happening a minute ago I decided to ask him if he told anyone about last night, but he told me that he hadn’t told anyone and that this is just the way people react to couples. And because I never went before I decided he probably knew it better and let it go.

A/N: Loosely based on the film “To all the boys I’ve loved before” as requested by @teehxk

This is part five of a series.

Pairing: Ashton Irwin x Reader

Word Count: 739

Warning(s): swearing

On Thursday I was talking to Kyan. He was the only one I had to talk to, not that he knew the relationship with Ashton was fake but still.
“I am so angry at myself that I didn’t see it coming.”
“I really don’t know what to say, other than… it fucking sucks. I am sorry.” The school bell rings and I see an angry Ashton making his way towards us.
“I gotta go.”
“Shall I wait?”
“No, you better not.” I tell him goodbye and grab my bag before walking towards Ashton.
“Why were you talking to him. What people will say when they see my girlfriend talking to Kyan,” he says bitterly.
“Oh, what about when they hear how Cam is basically begging you to take her back.” I tell him and laugh at how typical this is.
“You are spying on me now, huh. Is that what this is?”
“Yeah, sure make this shit about me.” I angrily storm into an empty hallway and keep walking. “I honestly didn’t think this would go on for so long. I mean me and Kyan are fine. Cam is jealous, we should call it quits.” Ashton looks at me, shock written all over his face.
“You want to break up with me before the ski trip? It’s in the contract.”
“Only if we were still together.”
“We are still together. You’re just pulling out because you are scared.”
“Why would I be scared?”
Ashton shrugs, “you tell me.” And he was actually right. I am scared because I started liking him a long time ago, heck I love him even and it’s just a matter of time before he dumps me and runs back to Camreigh. But there is no way that I am going to tell him that, so I negotiate.
“I will only go if Clive goes.” Clive, my childhood best friend who I had the biggest crush on, the one that actually turned out to swing for the other team. We turned out to be even better friends after we cleared the air.

On Friday Clive and I sat on the couch in my living room, in a deep discussion about the ski trip. Clive was very much against it and wanted nothing to do with it, but on the other hand, he also wanted me to go for the sake of bringing Ashton and me closer together. I tried to convince him not to go so I didn’t have to go and it wouldn’t turn into some sticky situation that no one could get out of.
But sadly on Monday, we were sat on the bus. Ashton tried to convince me to sit next to him, but being the scared little chicken that I was, I ended up sitting next to Clive who fell asleep on me in the first 10 minutes. Ashton kept looking back at me, while he sat next to Camreigh who tried to get his attention every second of the trip.

Once we got there we all gather around in the ski lodge.
“I’ll see you on the Black Top, Ashton,” Camreigh says before suggestively adding, “last one down, is buying.” Ashton looked at her before looking and me and then quickly started talking to his friends.
“Go to your man,” Clive says and starts pushing me towards Ashton.
“What no, I don’t even know how to put on the boots. I brought books  so I can read in my room and enjoy the snow from the comfort of my room.” Clive rolls his eyes before grabbing his bag and walks towards our room.
Instead of reading I actually told Clive the truth about me and Ashton. That we have been pretending and he was totally shocked.
“Are you sure that you are just pretending? ‘Cause I can tell by the way that he looks at you that he likes you.”
“How does he look at me?”
“Like you a sexy little Rubics cube. He can’t really figure you out, but he has a lot of fun trying.”
“It doesn’t matter anyway. He is still so obsessed with her and it makes me sick.”
“Uhu, look at the facts here. He came up with the fake dating idea. You came up with the no kiss rule and you constantly try to break it off. Say all you want but he is probably waiting for you in the hot tub right now.”

A/N: Loosely based on the film “To all the boys I’ve loved before” as requested by @teehxk

This is part four of a series.

Pairing: Ashton Irwin x Reader

Word Count: 957

Warning(s): none? I guess

When we left the diner I felt like I had really upset Ashton, so I invited him over for movie night the next day. While I was waiting for Ashton to come, Kyan suddenly showed up at my house.
“Can we talk please?” I give him a nod and step outside. I notice that Kyan was angry, also the phrase “I can’t believe your dating Ashton Irwin!” helped with that realisation. When he said that, I became angry to. How dare he say something like that. Was it so hard to believe that Ashton and I were dating? That someone like me could date someone like him?
“Look if you just came here to be angry and to be rude, then I am gonna go back inside”, I say and walk past him.
“No, I – Wait… please?” I stop and face him. “Did you mean what you wrote in the letter?”
“I – I don’t know, okay. That was a really long time ago. It was a mistake, you should have never seen it. And please whatever you do, do not tell Ryver.”
“He is not even talking to me! So you don’t have to worry about that.” I let my head fall down, not wanting to look him in the eyes and see that he’s hurt.
“Look, I am sorry. Maybe you should leave”, I say and turn back to the front door.
“So this is it then. Ryver breaks up with me, you are dating Ashton and suddenly we can’t be friends anymore?!” I just gave him a sorry look and went inside. What a great person I am, I heard two guys in two days.

3 pm rolled around and Ashton showed up. We sat on the couch with my little brother and some popcorn we had popped.
“Why are we watching this movie again?” Weston whines.
“Because Ashton has never seen it before.” I have never seen Weston turn around so quickly, with shock written all over his face.
“Are you for real?! How can you have never watched the Hobbit?!” Ashton just shrugs.
“I don’t know, I just never went to the cinema when it came out.” Weston looks at him like he grew three heads, sighs and turns back to the TV.
“Oof, Kili is so hot. If he was taller…” I say and Ashton looks offended.
“I am way better looking than that guy.”
“Uhuh, sure,” Weston says and not long after they have a pillow fight/wrestling match. I watched them as I started thinking. I really hope Weston is not getting too attached to Ashton, we should have never involved family in our fake dating phenomenon.

And yet here I was, two days later, at the dining table of his mother. His little brother and sister were whispering to each other and his mom went on and on about how nice it was that I could be here and how she already liked me better than his last girlfriend. We talked about my brothers, how only my dad was in the picture and how my mother passed away. She went on telling me why Ashton’s father was not in the picture and I could tell that it bothered him, not only him but also his siblings.
Dinner went by quick and before we knew it, Ashton and I were cleaning up. I sat up on the kitchen counter as I watched him sweeping the countertop.
“Is it weird? Not having your father around?” I straight up asked him. He walked over to me and leaned against the counter beside me.
“I mean, not as weird as it used to be. It’s just that sometimes I walk around the house and there are no pictures of him anymore and I just miss him. But then I start to think about his new family and I just get so angry that I am happy that he’s gone.”
“You don’t mean that. You can be angry at him and still miss him.” He just nods.
“You must miss your mom a lot.”
“Every day.” I sigh, “but it happened so long ago. And sometimes when I do my homework or doing whatever and I think about our family. I just forget that it wasn’t always just us and our dad and I feel so guilty.” I stop and look at him for a second. “I actually never told anyone that.”
“I mean I get it. I mean it’s not the same but you know.”
“Yeah. It’s nice to talk to someone about this, who understands you know.” He just nods again and moves closer. My heartbeat quickens and it seems like he is about to kiss me, but then he moves away from me. And I think about our rules… the no kissing rule was rule number 1. I can’t believe that I was the one who came up with that rule and wanted to kiss him so badly. Everything between is felt so natural and good that I let myself believe that what we had was real.

A few weeks later I sat underneath the bleachers eating the best fried chicken in the whole world when suddenly I heard Ashton and Camreigh.
“You never have time for me anymore, Ashton. You are always with her.”
“What you expect me to wait around, while you are dating that college guy.” For a second I wanted to leave, but then again I also wanted to hear their conversation so I decided to stay put.
“You can’t keep doing this to me,” Ashton said.
“Fine, but she is not coming on the ski trip is she? Because that is our thing.”
“Who cares?! You’ve got a boyfriend now.”
“Yeah, I know… but maybe then I won’t.”

A/N: Loosely based on the film “To all the boys I’ve loved before” as requested by @teehxk

This is part three of a series.

Pairing: Ashton Irwin x Reader

Word Count: 816

Warning(s): none? I guess

After I ran away from home, I ended up in my favourite café, drinking some pink unicorn latte that they just added to the menu. Suddenly I felt a familiar presence.
“Hey Y/N, watcha doin’ here?” Ashton asked me as he sat down on the barstool next to mine. I didn’t answer him and just raised my cup before putting my mouth on the straw again, not looking at him once. Before he could open his mouth, I started talking… surprising us both.
 “Look I am sorry I kissed you and it will never happen again. I just didn’t want someone else thinking I was in love with them because they also got a letter and yeah sorry.”
 “Wow wait what, I am not the only one who got a letter? Damn and I felt so special”, he said placing his right hand over his heart.
 “Yes, well anyways I got to go.”
 “How did you get here? I don’t see your car.”
 “I uhm.. I ran, basically so yeah.” Before I knew it I was in the passenger’s seat of Ashton’s car. He started talking about us fake dating, so he could maybe make his ex jealous. I tried to talk him out of it but somehow he pursued me into playing along.

The next day we made a contract for our fake love/ fake relationship. Once we were both happy we went out separate ways, only to ‘be together’ during lunch. It was interesting though, but I knew that I had to tell Ryver about my relationship.. but I couldn’t lie to Ryver.
So that night I sat on my bed with my laptop, waiting for Ryver to skype me. You could say I was a nervous wreck. How in the world could I tell Ryver that I am dating Ashton so Kyan won’t think I am in love with him anymore because somehow the letter that I wrote him from a long time ago, got out?

During my skype conversation I kept ignoring half of the questions Ryver asked me and I made our talk come to a quick end when I almost blurted everything out. That is also when the doorbell rang and Ashton was actually at my house. He came to pick me up for a party he didn’t even tell me about, for which I wasn’t ready and never would be ready for. But Ashton being Ashton he persuaded me into going with him.
We actually weren’t at the party for long though, once Ashton was convinced his ex had seen us, we left to go to the diner for some food.
 “You know I am actually surprised that you’re not afraid of Camreigh.”
 “Oh, I am terrified of her.”
 “Might be, but you don’t let it show. Like on that first day when she was being a bitch towards you, you handled that so well.” This actually made me look up. I can’t believe he still remembers the first day. “I mean I couldn’t say anything because we were together but I thought they looked amazing. You have a really great style you know, I think you look better than Cam all the time.”
 “Why, thank you.” At that point I got up, ready to go home. When he got a text. From his face, I could read it was Cam. “You, uh, you guys still talk on the phone?”
 “Yeah sometimes, why?”
 “I guess that I just think that it’s a little weird that you guys still talk to each other. That’s not healthy.”
 “Oh so now you are a relationship expert. You never even had a boyfriend before and you are attacking me?”
 “Well you only had one girlfriend and you are obsessed with her. That’s weird.”
 “I am not obsessed with her.”
 “Prove it, don’t talk to her tonight”, I say and step forward, probably not looking as intimidating as I want it to look.
 “Only if you tell me why you never had a boyfriend before.” Why would he possibly want to know that.  
 “I have never been asked.”
 “Bullshit, I know Grayson asked you to the spring formal.”
 “Okay well I love to write about it and read about it, but when it’s real.. it’s scary. ‘Cause the more people you let into your life, the more that can just walk right out.”
 “I think it’s funny, you say you are scared but you don’t seem to be afraid to be with me.”
 “That’s because we are just pretending.” If you listened really closely, you could actually hear Ashton’s heart break. His face fell and he left pretty quickly after that. I kind of felt bad, but I was telling him the truth. The more time I was spending with him, the more I realised that I needed to repeat to myself that we were pretending that this was not real. And it hurt.

A/N: Loosely based on the film “To all the boys I’ve loved before” as requested by @teehxk . A special dedication to @lukehemmings-ownsmyass

This is part two of a series.

Pairing: Ashton Irwin x Reader

Word Count: 804

Warning(s): none? I guess

I wish falling in love had traffic lights too, so I’d know if I should go for it, slow down or just stop. Because I could not get Kyan out of my head. I haven’t skyped my brother for two weeks now because I am afraid. I don’t want to hurt him, and I feel so damn bad for being in love with his ex-boyfriend.

Saturday night rolled around and like any other 16-year-old, I had no plans. So here I was on the couch, hanging out with my little brother Weston and watching Lord of the Rings.

“Okay, don’t take this the wrong way, but isn’t it kind of sad that a 16-year-old girl is hanging out with her little brother on a Saturday night. Isn’t it time that you.. oh I don’t know.. found a boyfriend? Because believe it or not I actually cancelled plans to hang out with you and I don’t think that you had any other things going on”, Weston says before filling his mouth with popcorn and chocolates.

“That was way harsh, Wes”, I look at him and pout.

“Yeah, well life is hard Y/N”,  and with that, he puts in the next Lord of the Rings film. It didn’t take long before I fell asleep.

***

The last class of today was PE, oh lucky me. I was running alongside my best friend Nova, who is also Cam’s cousin when I saw Ashton walk on the tracks. We ran past him when he suddenly yelled out my name. Nova and I came to a quick halt and turned around.

“Hi, uhm can I talk to Y/N alone?” he asks looking from me to Nova and back.

“Yeah sure, if you need me I’ll be in the nurse’s office with period cramps, googling Noah Centineo shirtless”, and with that, she leaves us. I look at Ashton in confusion, because the last time he spoke to me was.. well before he and Cam got together.

“Okay, look I just wanted to say that I am sorry but nothing is ever going to happen between us.”

“Uhm, what?” That sentence made me even more confused than I already was.

“Yeah, I think it’s cute that you find my dimples adorable and that you-” By then I zoned out what he had to say and noticed that he was holding something in his hand. A letter. My letter to be more specific. I started hyperventilating and before I knew it I passed out on the tracks, only to be woken again by Ashton. As soon as I got up I noticed Kyan walking towards us also with a letter in his hand. I turned around and kissed Ashton… on the lips. After my teacher yelled at us to stop making out on the tracks, I got up and ran straight to the bathroom like lightning. It didn’t take long before I heard a familiar voice asking me if I was doing okay. It was my childhood best friend Ace.

“Look I want to give this back to you, it seemed kind of personal”, he said as soon as I came out of the bathroom stall. “Also I want you to know, that I am flattered but you do know that I am gay right?” Nope, I did not.
“Yes, of course! I wrote that letter a long time ago”, and I just laughed it off. We talked for a bit and then I went home.

As soon as I got there I ran up to my room to find my shoebox. Because if someone had indeed taken these letters then I wanted to know how many had gotten out.. or well I know 3 have.

“Has anyone seen an old shoebox. It was in my room, the one in which mum gave me my first pair of pumps. It’s really important to me!” I yelled while running into different rooms and downstairs again.

“I don’t know, sweetheart. I haven’t seen anything”, my father says while dancing to Bruce Springsteen. “Oh, by the way, you have some mail.” I grab the letter to which he had pointed and seen that it was the fourth letter, returned to sender. Good, so I don’t have to worry about that one any more or Ace’s. The one that had been sent to Kyan worried me most. I couldn’t look at him anymore, he dated my brother. We were finally fine again and now someone sends these stupid letters.

As I was pacing up and down my room when my little brother suddenly entered.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing”, I quickly answered.

“Y/N, Kyan is here!” I heard my father yell from downstairs.

“You never saw me”, I whisper-yelled to Weston as I climbed down through my window and then I just ran.

A/N: Loosely based on the film “To all the boys I’ve loved before” as requested by @teehxk

This is part one of a series.

Pairing: Ashton Irwin x Reader

Word Count: 778

Warning(s): none? I guess

I am a hoarder. Not necessarily like the ones on the TV but I do like to save things. Not important things like the earth but silly things like drawings that I made when I was little, earrings that I will never wear because they are too heavy or my scrunchies. The letters to my mother are my most prized possession. I keep them in a secret hiding spot, in an old shoebox that my mother gave me when she got me my first pair of high heels.

My mother and I used to be very close. I always told her everything, and when she passed away I continued to tell her everything in my letters. There are four special letters in that box. Love letters. Well not really love letters to a crush but letters in which I tell my mother about a crush so intense and secret that I cannot tell anyone else.

One is for my childhood best friend, the biggest cliché ever really. There is one for a boy I met during a music group I was in when I was about 8 years old. Another one for a boy I met during my first spin-the-bottle on my first high school party ever during Freshman year. And one for my older brother’s best friend Kyan.

I was actually first to meet him before my brother had. I was walking around the high school hallway with the heavy school books in my arms, when suddenly someone came around the corner, bumping into me and causing me to drop my books on the floor. Kyan, being the kind person that he was, saw all of this and helped me collect my books. We have been friends ever since. When I introduced him to my brother Ryver and they became friends, was when I realized that I was in love with him.

Ryver and Kyan became such good friends that they felt bad for leaving me out and invited me to go anywhere with them. To parties, movie nights and even clubs. I never really felt okay with it, going with them I mean, honestly it felt like I was intruding their time together. When they started dating they even invited me on their dates. I stopped going with them for obvious reasons and I felt happy for my brother but also sad because he kind of stole my best friend from me. I didn’t hang out with Kyan as much as I wanted and when we hung out it was never just the two of us.

Even now after Ryver left for college, as he is one year older than Kyan and two years old than me, Kyan and I are just not the same. We haven’t really talked or hung out since Ryver left. So when school started again I might have ignored him and only waved at him in the hallways.

Like now, I waved at him while walking backwards. He hasn’t changed at all and was still as hot as before. Only he had a little tan from his holiday to Spain. We kept staring at each other and we both opened our mouths to speak when I bumped into a person.
“Oh, it’s you”, I heard a familiar voice say.
“I’m so sorry, Camreigh.” Camreigh and I used to be best friends. Heck, we even had a friend group. There was Ashton, Calum and Luke for the boys. And the girls were Camreigh, me and Nayla who just lived down the block. We were all great friends until Camreigh moved to another part of town. We still hung out from time to time but she changed. She hung out more with the boys than with Nayla and I. Before high school started, we had our first party together. But when high school began Camreigh estranged herself from us. Nayla and I were still friends until she moved to another country and I haven’t spoken her since. This was before I met Kyan.
“Wow, did you go shopping in the kids’ section again?”
“No, these are vintage”, I say and look down at my clothes.
“Hey babe”, Ashton says as he hugs Cam from behind. Remember when I told you about the boy I kissed during spin the bottle, that was this Ashton. Camreigh’s boyfriend, I knew at the time that she liked him and I first refused to kiss Ashton, but he crawled towards me and kissed me. Very quickly I pulled back and when I looked at Cam, she was in shock.

“Let’s go, Ash. I see some people we need to say ‘hi’ to”, and with that, they both left.

A/N: this is a request from @cashworthy​ “Ashton dating someone with major trust issues”

Pairing: Y/N & Ashton Irwin

Words: 654

Warning(s): cursing

Trust is the act of placing confidence in someone or something else, or at least that’s what Wikipedia says. And I have don’t have that in anyone or anything, which has caused a whole lot of trouble in my past relationship and my trust issues growing because of this, it’s a vicious cycle. It isn’t that I didn’t get attention from my loved ones and I also wasn’t bullied during my teenage years, many psychologists would see me as this big question mark because they wonder why I have trust issues if I don’t have a dramatic or traumatic past. Well, the biggest issue is with myself. I am very perfectionistic and I don’t find myself worthy for anyone. This lack of confidence is then fuelled by past relationships that ended and me blaming myself for it because I am not good enough. I was in a very bad place when my last boyfriend broke up with me and that was the final straw. I signed up for a gym.
And that is exactly where I met Ashton. I was very sceptic at first because how could someone be so nice to me. I truly believed from the start that he didn’t mean any of it and he was just being nice because he could see that I looked like shit. I made myself believe what my brain was feeding me and I still do.

Tonight, Ashton and I are cuddling on the couch as our fifth date. We are both too lazy to go out and I didn’t want to get all dressed up and still feel like shit (so this was our last resort). We are currently watching the Handmaid’s Tale and let me tell you I feel all of the women portrayed in this series. All of them want to be good enough at what the world makes them think they have to be worthy for and they start to believe it themselves. So during the break, I decided to confront him.
“Why can’t you say it to my face? If you don’t want me anymore that’s fine I can live with it. I just want you to be honest”, I say and turn my head to face his. Ashton just looks at me all confused.
“Y/N, where is this coming from?”
“It’s just you give me all of you and I give nothing back. So, why can’t you say it to my face, if you don’t want me anymore?”
“Baby, honestly where is this coming from? Of course, I want you. I am not lying okay, I really like you.”
“But why, I am me and your Ashton Fletcher Irwin. You are like really hot and I am a hot mess… minus the hot.”
“What are you even saying right now? Baby, I love you. I know this is only our fifth date but ever since I met you, you have rocked my world. You know how many times I went to the gym even though my body begged me not to, just because I hoped that I would see you again. Y/N, you are perfect to me. You’re my endgame. We’re endgame. I will never let you go because I simply can’t. It’s not that I am afraid of being lonely but I am afraid that you will find another person who will love you better than I can. And that my darling, is quite impossible because I love you so much, there aren’t enough words in any language to describe it. You see, sweetheart, we all have trust issues. Sometimes we just have to let go of fear and believe that there is a greater power in this universe who will guide us through life. We have to learn how to forgive and forget and I know that ain’t going to be an easy thing to do, but we’ll do it together. And I will love you, always.”

A/N: Based on Worst of you by Maisie Peters

Pairing: Y/N & Ashton Irwin

Word Count: 635

Warning(s): mentions of cheating

You had been dating Ashton ever since high school. Everyone was jealous of your relationship because it was so pure and full of love. You were very supportive of his band that he joined.

While you went to college to study law and crime, Ashton’s band started to take off. You were so busy with school and he was so busy touring the world that you rarely saw him. You guys talked on the phone though whenever you could. It became harder and harder but you still loved him so much. When Autumn break began, you bought a plane ticket to go see him. When you landed, however, he wasn’t there to pick you up from the airport. And when you arrived at the hotel, he didn’t show you the love that you were expecting.
So you two went out for dinner that evening before the show and he asked how you were and how school was going. You went on and on about classes and how you made new friends but you got the feeling that he wasn’t really listening to you, although he swore that he did. You didn’t mind, you were just so happy that you could look at him without pixels.

After the concert, all the guys went out and you went along with them. You enjoyed spending time with them and seeing Ashton so happy. The entire evening however you were on your own. At the beginning of the evening, Luke and Michael held a conversation with you but then their girlfriends showed up and you were on your own. You had Ashton but he was talking to his friends all evening. It was okay though, I mean you weren’t on stage. You didn’t see what was happening tonight and you were sure that it was a necessary conversation. The break flew by and you didn’t spend as much time with Ashton as you had hoped but you understood that the band, the fans and the tour came first. After all, you were the one on the break, not them, their life continued.
He didn’t drop you off at the airport, you got there by taxi instead. He was too busy writing the new album. He did give you a kiss on the cheek and you felt like a high schooler again.

The calls after got worse and worse. You would only fight and argue and you let him win every time. Your friends told you that you should break up with him and that this wasn’t a healthy relationship anymore but you couldn’t do that to him. He wasn’t there to say it to his face and you couldn’t bear to do it over the phone or via text message.

A couple weeks later a friend sent you an article. It showed Ashton hugging another woman, on another picture he was kissing her. It wasn’t like the kiss on the cheek he had given her, he was full-on snogging the girl. You were so angry and sad that you stayed in your bed for 4 weeks. The thing is you were more angry at yourself that at Ashton because even though he kissed her, you still wanted to taste his lips and kiss him and have him tell you that he loved you.

A month later, you were better than you were before. Still hopelessly in love with Ashton but better. You decided to take it to twitter. Instead of addressing the rumour that you and Ashton had broken up, you drafted something else.
“Another night, another dotted line, I sign my heart away to you, some call it foolish, guess I’ll call it art.”
And with that, you decided that it was over between the two of you. You realized that all the time he was away, you were just making up excuses for his actions and you were done.