#at least it’s not about food
UW:“Why?”
Pause
Me:“Why what?”
UW:“Why did you paint the puppies?”
UW:“I do like it when you’ve got…”
Me:“When I’ve got what?”
UW:“Like the agent. And everything lines up. It’s nice and clean.”
Sleeping Uncle Walter: grabs my left boob. Twice.
Me: Looks down to see why.
UW: “That’s not a screwdriver.”
No, Uncle Walter, no it is not.
UW: “That won’t help me fix the pool.”
Please note, we do not have a pool.
“No. You can’t be a hero. You have to let other people do stitches, too.”
Uncle Walter, sleep talking
“We’ve got to be close for Mister Happy.”
Uncle Walter, sleep talking
“I’m glad that in some ways I can bring you some joy.”
Uncle Walter, sleep talking
“This little guy is really done.”
Uncle Walter, sleep talking
“Geostorm. That was a weird movie.”
Uncle Walter, sleep talking
“I’ll take Insomnia for 500, Alex.”
— Uncle Walter, sleep talking
