Here’s my second piece for the @officialtolkiensecretsanta gift exchange; Celegorm & Aredhel with Huan resting after a hunt in Valinor.

This gift is for…

Better Days

athelind:

My late biological father was a reactionary, racist, chauvinistic old bastard, and in recent years, as the brand of arrogant, entitled white supremacy he harbored has become ever more assertive on the national and international stages, the hidden meaning of so much of what he said and did in his lifetime has become distressingly clear. His dog whistles have become all too audible to me.

He had a signature toast that he’d give whenever the occasion came to raise a glass and offer one: “Better Days.”

On more than one occasion, I joined him in this toast, and eventually, in my thirties or forties, realized that the phrase meant very different things to the two of us: to him, it was looking back to the romanticized past, where people who looked and thought like him had all the power and the privilege, and everyone else either “knew their place,” or were promptly reminded of it.

To me, raised largely by my relatively-progressive mother and grandmother, it meant looking forward, to the future – equally romanticized, perhaps, but one where the rights and privileges and prosperity that I took for granted as a middle-class white man were extended to everyone, and we were all better for it.

Itstillmeans that to me.

And so, my friends, on this, the first day of 2019, I reclaim those words, and raise a glass to you all:

To the future. 

To resistance. 

To defiance. 

To compassion.

And above all … to hope.

Better Days.
Let us bring them about together.

Some colour studies from one of my favourite films

Better Days (2019) dir. Derek Tsang

Nefelibata - A person who lives in the clouds of her own imagination or dreams. 

Since my childhood, it has been easy to find solace in my mind, my imagination taking me to safe places to hide from the harsh realities of life. Even today, when life gets too much I find myself getting lost in my mind.

After the rollercoaster 2020 was, 2021 doesn’t feel much different. I do have hope for things to get better but having seen so much pain and uncertainty in the past few months, it’s easy to worry about how everything will pan out.

Sometimes just a walk through the park helps me clear my mind and I find myself being in awe of the beauty that exists outside of me. The beauty of nature, of the architecture around, seeing the pretty pink clouds helps me move from the clouds of my imagination and find comfort in reality: an acceptance of the future and faith that I have my rooting strong to weather all storms.