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❤️‍ - 1 day!!!!

- 8 days

- 13 days

They’re back!!

16 days to go

VIPS:

You’re free

The wedge between us ~ Part seven

Moodboard made by @fantasyworldbb​ as usual

A/N ~ Ummm yeah, sorry guys but I had to throw another bomb into it for it to work out in future chapters lol. This chapter reveals Jiyong’s past relationship with the MC and a secret about her that only he knows, it is told in Jiyong’s POV. Happy Easter, oh and before I forget… @tabis-eyebrows​ suck it Jen, I love you xoxoxo

Theme ~ Friends AU

Pairing ~ Choi Seung Hyun X Reader

Rated ~ Angsty angst angst

Warning ~ Language and possible mental illness trigger warnings

Series Masterlist

Fear rushed over Jiyong as he tread carefully amongst the broken glass that lay scattered across the carpet, red droplets stained between shards, the house dead quiet as he approached the bedroom door.

“Hyung?” he called anxiously as his hand pushed the door open, his other clutching tighter on the book he was holding, so tight that the tips of his fingers began to burn and turn white.

“Leave me alone” Seung hyun answered softly.

Although his voice was croaky like he had been crying for days, the sound of him caused a sigh of relief in Jiyong, the scene outside his room mixed with the fact he hadn’t heard from him in almost a week sparked his worst fears.

His shoulders relaxed, as did his grip on the book as he stepped inside the room and asked “What happened? Where’s Noona?”

“She left” he replied as he turned to lay on his side, away from Jiyongs prying eyes.

“Why? What happened?”

“I told her…..” Seung hyun’s body curled up into itself as he spoke. “And she ran away”

“Hyung, you have to take it easy with her, you know what she’s like” Jiyong said with a sigh as he sat next to him, his hand coming to rest on his shoulder, attempting to soothe him.

“I know but I couldn’t hold it in anymore” he took a deep breath as he wiped away his own tear. “She looked so down after you guys left, I wanted to get her smile back, like she had when we were talking at dinner but I fucked up”

“What do you mean?”

“We… I….” Seung hyun paused as his mind flooded with the fight you had had, the memory of you hitting and screaming at him before breaking down. The way you cried and clung at his chest as he held you tightly and the feeling of relief he had when he finally said it, when he finally told you he loved you and you didn’t run away.

He clenched his fist as he thought about the last part, how he felt before he fell asleep, believing you would stay, that everything had magically become better just by him saying those words.

“Hyung” Jiyong uttered with a knowing sigh.

“I know, I fucked up, again. All I ever do is fuck up, especially with her”

“It’ll be fine, I promise”

“No it won’t, she left. I told her how I feel, how I’ve always felt and she snuck out in the middle of the night without a goodbye or even a note. She doesn’t want me, after everything I did, she doesn’t want to be with me”

“Hyung, it’s gonna be ok, trust me” He whispered trying to subdue him but his kind gestures didn’t seem to be working. Jiyong gave up, he knew what he had to do to fix this and he was in the wrong place to do that. Determined that he knew what was right, he stood up. “I’ll be back, in the meantime, I think you should read this”

Seung hyun felt something hit the bed with a thud, he turned over to see a book laying beside him. He picked it up, his eyes glossing over when he read the cover. Crossed stars.

Jiyong knocked on the door, waiting for an answer, waiting for a sign you were there and he was at the right place. His thoughts shifting to the night he found you crying in the forest.

Jiyong had begun to get worried when Seung hyun returned with a stern look on his face but not you. He knew that had only meant one thing, you two had had another fight.

He checked every room in the house but you were nowhere to be found, he panicked at the idea you could have wandered off in the state you were in and gotten lost or worse.

He rushed out of the house, looking for any sign he could that you had at least been there as he called your phone. Just as he was about to check the lake, he heard a faint tune coming from the trees by the house.

The further in he went, the louder the tune became but there was something else accomaning it. He hung up, ready to call again when he figured it out. The thing he could hear was your sobs and from what he could hear, you were far from in a good state.

He let the sound lead him to where you were, his heart broke as soon as he saw you curled up on the ground, alone and crying in the dark.

“Kitten?” he called softly as he bent down to your level and brushed the hair away from your face. You looked up at him, your face contorting and your brow furrowed, your hand clutching at your chest as you clearly fought with the pain of your heart breaking.

“I’m done, Jiyong, I’m done with him”

“What happened?” Jiyong asked, his eyes darting around at your face that showed the pain you were feeling.

“He…” was all you managed to get out before you broke down, your head falling back into the dirt as you seemed to give in and let it take over.

Jiyong exhaled loudly before he spoke “Come inside and we’ll talk about it”

He knew what you said wasn’t the truth but he felt relieved you were finally admitting your feelings.

You nodded at him, he reached out and helped you up. You staggered as you rose to your feet, Jiyong let out an annoyed sigh as he snaked his arm around your waist and pulled you into his side before heading to the house.

He couldn’t believe that Seung hyun had left you there, alone and cold, suffering in the dark and especially in the state you were in. Without even noticing, his hands balled into fists as he thought about it, the one around you, clenched at the fabric of your jacket.

“I’m sorry Ji” you mumbled through your now soft cries before hanging your head.

Your soft voice, brought him back and he released the tight grip his fist had on your clothes. He didn’t answer, he couldn’t answer in fear of saying the wrong thing to you but he had to reassure you. He pulled you closer into him, your head rested on his shoulder as your hand clung to his shirt.

He could feel your body relax as soon as you stepped inside the house, the hand you had on his chest seemed to fall away.

“Wait here and I’ll get you some water” he said in a soothing tone as he stroked your hair.

Your head lifted from his shoulder along with your body from his side, Jiyong threw his arms out to catch you as you stumbled to stand on your own. He pulled you to face him but your eyes stayed fixed on the floor. “Are you ok?”

You nodded in response, your eyes finally lifting from your feet to meet his but they stopped at his chest as your brows furrowed and you asked with a slur “What’s that?”

He looked down at his shirt, the white material stained with a dark brown and a bright red. His own brow furrowed as he tried to figure out what it was, suddenly he remembered the warmth of your hand at his chest, the exact spot.

Without a word, he grabbed your hand and pulled it up. Its palm covered in dirt and leaves with a ruby red color sparkling back at him, he pulled a leaf away, blood trickled down your palm from a gash that he had exposed.

“What is it?” you asked as you tried to pull your hand away. He didn’t want you to see it, he didn’t want you to worry, he tightened his grip on your wrist and began to pull you away.

“It’s nothing, just come with me” he replied softly.

You surprised him by doing as he said and keeping quiet the whole way, you were normally stubborn but something in your behaviour was different and it caused an unsettling feeling to rise up in him.

He silently guided you into his room and straight to the ensuite, he finally let go of your wrist to turned on the taps. Your body rested on the bench with a thump, the sound causing him to glance at you. His eyebrows knotted as he watched you stare at your hand with a smile on your face, your eyes seemed to sparkle in the light, your head tilting slightly like you were in a trance.

“Let me clean it” his voice low and soft, almost stolen by the silence in the room.

You let out a chuckle before offering him your hand, the same smile still painted on your lips but the sparkle in your eyes held something different, like you were keeping something painful locked inside but it was trying to break through in your gaze.

He swallowed the sinking feeling in his chest as he cupped your hand and gently guided it to the running water. You didn’t flinch, you didn’t even make a sound when he touched the wound and brushed it off, not even once he was done and drying it off with a towel. You just sat perfectly still, the same smile and look in your eyes as before but your gaze was now distant, your mind clearly elsewhere.

Guiding you to help steady your stumbling, he sat you down on the side of the bathtub, your eyes that still weren’t looking at him glistened as he cupped your cheek and his thumb stroked at its cold flesh.

“I’ll be back in a second, ok?” he asked softly, waiting for you to nod absentmindedly before he rushed out of the room to retrieve the first aid kit and return as swiftly as he could, he didn’t want you being alone for to long, not in the condition you were in.

A bitter laugh echoed from the ensuite, the sound sending a chill down his spin, he wasn’t sure why but something told him it wasn’t a good thing.

His brow furrowed as he peeked inside, you were still sat on the tub, your eyes studying your palm intensely, tears falling like rain droplets as you poked and prodded at the wound.

“What are you doing?” he asked, his voice twisted with anger as was his face as he lunged at you, grabbing your wrist and pulling it away.

As if in slow motion, your eyes slowly lifted to look at him, the tears still falling as the corners of your lips twisted up. That bitter laugh escaping you once again, your eyes widening with a sickening look of pleasure as you announced “I don’t feel anything”

Fear washed over him with your actions, something wasn’t right, you weren’t right. He ignored you and pushed away his fear as he began wrapping up your hand, patching it up as best he could as if it would help heal whatever was going on inside you.

He wanted to help you, to heal you in anyway he could. He hated seeing you hurt but it was all he ever seemed to see in you anymore and lately, it had grown worse.

Ever since Seung hyun started dating Jangmi, he could tell you weren’t the same. From the very first day he brought her around and introduced her as his girlfriend, you had slowly began to change, to pull away from them.

Jiyong knew why, he had always know, you were in love with Seung hyun. You were hurt when he didn’t reciprocate and instead began dating someone else. Jiyong took it upon himself to cheer you up, to help you be the best you that you could be. He stood by you whenever he could, encouraging you to believe in yourself, to open your heart to people and trying his best to keep a smile on your face.

The more Seung hyun’s presence slowly faded and became absent, the closer Jiyong got to you but with that closeness, he learned more about you than he ever thought he would. He was only ever able to catch glimpses of the true self you hid away, fleeting moments of weakness causing cracks so that the inner light you held could shine through for a mere moment.

He was caught by surprise when he first saw it, he had thought you had let them in, that you had shown yourself to them but beneath the shell they cracked, was yet another shell. You were much deeper than he anticipated, the feelings you barely showed were much more complex than he himself had experienced.

After time, you began to open up even more, relaxing and shedding that second shell you held over yourself, showing them who you truly were.

The others were just as surprised as Jiyong had been when he first saw it, with the exception of Seung hyun. He didn’t seem fazed in the slightest, nor did he comment on it with the others, bringing Jiyong to the conclusion that you had already shown this side to Seung hyun before the rest of them.

It bothered him, he didn’t know why but the thought nagged at him and stuck in the back of his mind, driving him to do more for you in anticipation that you would open up to him like you had previously done with Seung hyun by showing him a side you hadn’t shown anyone else.

The meaning behind this didn’t dawn on him until one night when he went further out of his way to cheer you up than he ever had, driving you just outside of Seoul to a hilltop with an amazing view of the city, the lights twinkling like thousands of tiny diamonds.

His heart skipped a beat as he watched you, your face soft with a smile as you looked up. The night sky drapsed behind you like a silk black sheet that sparkled, your face only slightly illuminated with the glow of the moon captivated him.

It was then that he realised it, he had feelings for you. His longing to see your smile, to have you share things with him that you hadn’t shared with anybody else wasn’t just friendship but a love blossoming from it.

But his realisation had been bittersweet, you were in love with someone else, his friend. Even with that, he knew if he left your side, you would be hurt again and he wanted to do whatever he could to avoid that. He swore he would stick by you until you found your happiness, whether it be with him or someone else.

He was willing to ignore and forget his own feelings for your sake.

Just when he placed the clasp on your bandage, he felt your hand brushing at his hair, pushing his fringe back in a soothing motion. He lifted his head to meet your gaze, your eyes full of tears and sorrow as you gazed back at him with a crooked smile.

His eyes darted around your face, watching as the smile wavered, your eyes filling with liquid over and over again before spilling down your cheeks and starting the process over again.

His heart ached for you and what you were so obviously holding in, he opened his mouth, ready to say something to cheer you up, to help you get through whatever you were hiding but found no words.

He watched as your eyes drifted down, the fake smile you held falling as your eyes landed on your bandaged hand held by his.

He had no idea what to say, what he could do to help you.

“Don’t…” your voice was so soft that had he not been watching you, he would have missed the words.

“Noona?” he asked as he reached out and took your other hand, his eyes watching you intently.

“Don’t, don’t go” you cried out, your brow furrowing and your breathing becoming rigid.

“I’m not going anywhere” he replied, more confused than ever.

“Please don’t go, don’t leave me alone” you begged desperately as you lunged out and wrapped your arms around him almost knocking him backwards.

He sighed loudly as he held you, your grip tightening as you cried into his chest and continued to beg him not to leave.

“Come on” he said in a low voice. “Let’s get you to bed”

You shook your head vigorously in his chest as he lifted you up, forcing you to our feet while he kept a tight hold on you.

He kept silent as he lead you out of the ensuite, your body even more uneasy than it had been, tripping and falling over nothing despite his tight grip.

After what seemed like a lifetime, he finally got you to your room, your body falling with a thud onto the bed in the dark room.

“Not yet” he said as he pulled you up. “You’re covered in dirt, you need to get into some clean clothes before you sleep”

“No” you shouted as you tried to push him away, your stubbornness causing him to tisk.

“Fine, at least take off your jacket and those jeans” he scolded, his brow furrowing. All he wanted to do was take care of you but it seemed a though you wouldn’t let him.

You let go of him, your hands going to remove you jacket but your fumbling feet caused you to fall back on the bed.

He sighed again, he reached out and pulled you to sit up as he said “Here, let me”

You didn’t reply, you just sat as still as your swaying would allow as he took your jacket off followed by your shirt, knowing you were wearing a singlet underneath, he could see the layer of fabric protruding from your shirt..

“I need you to stand up now, ok” he said as he pulled you up.

His hands fumbled slightly as he undid the button on your jeans, his gesture was purely innocent but he couldn’t help the racing of his heart as he undressed you.

Your hands rested firmly on his shoulders as he pulled your jeans down and helped you pull your feet out before throwing them to the side. He stood up, his hands holding your waist, ready to help you lay down but what you did next stopped him.

Your body pressed against his, your lips crashing against his own as your hand snaked around his neck and pulled him closer. For a moment, he lost himself, his mind blank as he felt your soft lips against his.

With his mind wiped, he began to kiss you back, losing himself in the moment, forgetting the condition you were in.

“I want you…” you whispered as you pulled back. His eyes snapped open at your words and darted around your face, your eyes were still closed, your head rolling back a moment later bringing him back to reality and remembering how out of it you were.

He opened his mouth, readying himself to tell you it wasn’t a good idea but you cut him off.

“To be my first…”

His eyes widened at what you had said, he knew you didn’t have much experience with dating but he had no idea that it was at this level, it was another thing you had kept well hidden from them.

“Seung hyun…. Please….”

The name that fell from your lips wasn’t his, he chuckled slightly at the fact he had thought you were asking him but of course it wasn’t, you were asking the only man you ever thought about, the only man that ever held your attention, his hyung.

He didn’t say anymore, he simply pulled back the covers and helped you get in before tucking you in. It didn’t take long before you were out cold, your body still with the deep sleep you had immediately drifted into.

“Everything will be better in the morning, I promise” he whispered as he leant in and kissed your forehead before walking out and returning to his own room, nothing good would come from him staying there.

Jiyong stared at the crack at the bottom of the door, a smirk forming on his lips as soon as he noticed a shadow moving across it.

“I know you’re there Noona, open up”

A few seconds passed before he heard the door unlocking, it flew open a moment later, your frame retreating from it.

He closed the door behind him, his eyes taking in the inside of your refuge. It was less than he thought it would be, minimalist. Your furniture wasn’t anything expensive but it seemed just about the only thing you owned, he couldn’t help but feel like something was off, that something was missing.

“I went to see Seung hyun” he said flatly as he approached you sitting in front of your computer, he could see your body tense at the other man’s name.

“And?” you asked not bothering to look away from the screen, he could tell by your defensive tone that he should tread lightly but he wasn’t sure if it were even possible with the topic he was about to bring up.

“He told me what happened”

“So you thought you would just come around here and stick your nose in my fucking business? How did you find me anyway? I don’t recall telling you where I lived now” your tongue was laced with acid as you spoke to him over your shoulder, still refusing to look at him.

“You didn’t. I contacted your editor, apparently they’re a fan of Bigbang, she was more than happy to tell me where you lived” he replied with a smug tone, he couldn’t help it, he was proud of his efforts and accomplishment that came from it.

“Did you come here to gloat or just give me a fucking lecture about how I should stop running away from my feelings?” you bit as you finally turned to face him, a snarl pulling at your top lip as you stared him down. He could tell what you were about to do just by the look on your face, he had seen it before, you were about to start a fight, your defenses were kicking in as he closed in on the subject.

“So you do still have feelings for him?”

“That’s not what I said”

“It was, basically”

“Just stay out of it Ji, for once in your life, stay the fuck out of it”

“You’re still a virgin, aren’t you?”

He watched as your eyes widened, your mouth opening slightly, telling him he was right.

“That’s why you freaked out, right? It’s why you ran away?”

You turned away from him, your fingers playing with your lip as you clearly thought about what to say. Your hesitation telling him something else was at play.

“Is that it or is it something else?” he asked as he studied you closely, looking for a hint.

You didn’t reply, your eyes dropped to the ground, your fingers still pulling at your lip but more forcefully this time around.

He sighed, his eyes darting around the room as he thought about how he could get you to spill everything, how he could get you to face your feelings and your fears instead of running away from them.

That’s when he noticed it, the thing about the room that was off, the thing he couldn’t put his finger on until now. The walls were bare, as were the cupboards and table tops. He remembered your old apartment, photos were scattered everywhere, photos of you and your family but now, not a single one of them could be seen.

“Noona?” he called, his eyes still darting around the room trying to prove he was wrong, searching for a single photo. You didn’t reply, he turned to study your reaction as he asked. “What happened to all your photos?”

Your reaction was not what he expected and frankly, it scared him a little.

Without a word, your fingers stopped pulling at your lip, your face slowly turned towards him as your eyes lifted to his. You gaze was so fierce that he could almost feel the force behind them.

“Get out” was all you said as you stared him down, your face showing no emotion whatsoever.

“What?” he asked as confusion took over as to why you were reacting like this.

“Get out of my fucking house” you replied calmly before turning back to your computer.

Jiyong sighed, knowing he had done all he could do, for now. It was no use trying to reason with you when you were in this state. He knew where you were now and he knew how to find you if you disappeared again, the best thing for him to do right now was to give you time to cool down.

He took one last look at you, your attention focused on the screen as you typed ferociously. Fighting himself to keep his mouth closed, he headed for the door and opened it. His foot froze in mid step at the sound of your typing paused, he turned back in time to see you lift your head and turn it slightly as you added one last blow.

“Make sure to never show your fucking face here again, I’m done with you, all of you so just go back to how you were and stay the fuck out of my life”