If I’d Known {Hawks x Reader}

I was inspired to write this because one I love Hawks and I just needed to write something. I didn’t want my first story to be angst but I couldn’t help it.

If I’d known then what I know now, I never would’ve fallen for you. I would’ve never fallen for your charming and humorous personality. The way you healed every single bad moment with an overused pick up line or a bad joke. You always found a way to light up my world, but now my worlds gone dark. I’ve realized that not only did you bring the light, you were the light. But now that lights disappeared along with you. Now I’m stuck here, remembering what used to be. Imagining my world with the light you provided, but my imagination would never be able to recreate reality. What used to be. My world will never be brought back to its former glory. Instead of bright vivid colors it’s surrounded by dull ones. A million colors turned to two. A billion people turned to none. Feelings turned to ash. Who needs them anyway when all you feel is sorrow. An endless cycle repeating and repeating and repeating until the moment you give up. I’m trying to be brave. I’m trying to smile when there’s nothing to smile about. I’m trying to forget when all I can do is remember. Remember that you won’t be able to smile anymore. That you didn’t get to say goodbye. That I didn’t get to say goodbye. How one moment your here and another you aren’t. Everything we took for granted. The amount of time we wasted bickering and arguing when we should’ve spent it to cherish each other. Then I remember the things we used to do. Waking up in the morning right by each other’s sides. The love notes you’d leave me every single day. The silly little things you’d do to make me smile because you said I looked the best when happy. Our little dates on the rooftop of your apartment building. Our late night conversations that would last all the way to the early mornings. The way you looked at me, like I was the only person worth your attention. I miss you so much. Your good habits your bad habits I miss them all. I curse the fact that you were taken away from the world, from me. How our time together was cut short. We hadn’t even started our life together yet. When you left you took my heart with you, leaving me with a cold and empty hole yet to be filled. Although it didn’t stay like that forever. It was filled with sorrow and guilt. Maybe if I had tried harder you would still be here. Maybe if I had convinced you to stay you would still be here. Maybe if I went with you you would still be here, greeting me with a smile and a kiss on the forehead. If spending even a fraction of my life with you caused me this much hurt, I would do it. If I’d known then what I know now, I would’ve still fallen for you, my winged hero.

Sorry the spacing is a bit weird, I’m doing this on my phone and I copied and pasted it from google docs. This is kinda short and probably has a lot of mistakes but I hope you like this! If you did, please like it and ya knowwww… request something cuz I am bored and not creative.