#but how do we carry on

i just really needed dean to realize that he mattered and that life could be more than the box he was taught to fit inside and too much of me is broken by the fact that we didn’t really get that and that in the end it didn’t matter that dean broke out of the box because he died before he got to experience that

i just really needed a conclusion that confirmed life was still worth living and fighting for and that’s not how i interpreted what we got

i just want to know how long it’s going to take before this stops breaking me and once it does will it even matter am i also fated to end this journey the same way i started because i don’t WANT that i can’t DO that i can’t imagine dean finding that ending satisfying and i can’t understand people who do