#calum5sos
Chapter Twenty-Two
Josie’s P.O.V.
Every one told me to go back inside, hell, even the hotel staff asked me to because of the pity they felt. But I stayed. I was sat on the floor, leaning my head against the wall next to the door in case he decided to open the door any time soon.
“Josie, you know him, he’s not gonna open up for hours,” Calum looked down at me, but I didn’t bother to look at him. I blocked him out even. I stared at the wallpaper in front of me, the mustard yellow hinted with whites of floral stayed engraved in my mind for the time being, not what happened an hour before, not the words that Calum told me now.
“And you know me,” I replied to him simply. He shrugged in defeat.
“I’ll order you breakfast in the morning then,” He finally ended before going back into his room.
And here I stayed.
Luke’s P.O.V.
I didn’t know what I was doing in that room, it’s what everyone expected of me. It’s what I expected of me. But I knew it was better to lock myself up before anything else happens. It keeps me in and everyone else out, great motto to live by right?
I found myself thinking, not thinking, just soaking in my past. All the good, the bad, the Josie which was always accompanied by both. Was it even worth it anymore? Everything with her has been up and down since the beginning. It’s so much easier to just forget about it. I’m so fucking tired of looking dumb, of feeling used.
If she is telling the truth, even if she does have a good defense for what happened. We’re still no good for each other. I think I finally understand that now. We’ve never been good for each other, we know each other too well both personal and public lives. Neither of us can admit it, but the fame will always get in the way. We could never be one of those couples to just fall in love for the hell of it, there are always strings attached. Always.
So this is me, finally getting off of the bed, lifting my head from my hands and taking a final breath before leaving. With the hours passing by, I seemed to have collected myself enough to take the first few steps, but the second I opened the door, I saw her. She sat there, head leaning against the wall, eyes shut, and slow breaths escaping her mouth.
Peaceful. Beautiful. Like always. I thought
But I didn’t fall at her feet like I used to.
We’re bad for each other. Everyone knows it. I thought reinforcing my mindset
I took another breath. But a different one. A calm one.
I lifted her up gently, feeling her rustle a bit in my arms before hearing her mumble a quiet.
“I’m sorry,”
“Me too.” I said back before placing her in bed
I laid the blanket on top of her, squatting down to eye level with her before kissing her forehead. My lips were pressed on hers for a lot longer than I intended.
“Don’t act like you’re saying goodbye, Luke,” she whispered. I could see the water start to form in her sleepy eyes.
Even she knew.
“I have to,” That broke her.
I kept my face stone, knowing that if I broke too, she would never let me leave.
“But I love you, you know that?” I said trying to make things better, but the tear falling down her cheek proved my failure
“I know,” She said weakly
“I love you too,” She said wiping the tear from her face
“I know.”
I kissed her forehead one last time before leaving, but I could feel her hands tense up to mine as if she couldn’t let go. But she did.
I left the room, heading over to mine, where Calum was situated now since I basically kicked him out of his own room. He was sleeping, of course, it was about 4 am by now, but he woke up to me rustling near him next to the complimentary alcohol that the inn provided us with.
“I swear to God, if you make me leave another bed tonight, I’m going to punch you so hard, Luke,” He grumbled into his pillow expecting me to do just what he had said
“You’re good, Cal, you can stay there,” I said back picking up the single bottle of Corona left in the room, opening it to make the popping noise, which made Calum look up at me
“You alright, bro?” He asked rolling over in his bed to pay better attention to me
“No-not really, but shit happens, it’s life,” I spewed out whatever nonsense I could before letting the beer drip down my throat in a second of relief. I started walking outside onto the balcony wear I found my permanent spot on a lawn chair overlooking the outside world. The cool air breezed through and even through the storm, everything felt calm for once, even after everything that had just happened
“You know damn well a single bottle of beer isn’t gonna solve your problems,” Calum sighed, rubbing his eyes as he started to get used to his surroundings after waking up
“I know, that’s why I brought his friend, Grey Goose with me,” I smirked signaling to the other bottle of vodka that I had placed next to me before downing a shot of that too.
Besides, I wasn’t using alcohol to escape for once. I did it to actually allow myself to let loose. Not in a care free way, but a relief. An actual fresh breath of air where there was nothing in my mind. This was all for me, for once, I was doing it because of me.
“That isn’t what I meant, Luke,” He said a little more sternly as he took a seat next to me
“You and Josie are something else, whatever happened, I’m sure you two will work it out,” He attempted to reassure me
“Not this time,” I shook my head feeling the alcohol starting to rush to my head
“She was waiting at your door all night, wouldn’t leave for anything. Trust me, we all tried to get her to go back inside since you weren’t letting her in. She loves you, and you love her back.”
“I ended it,” I cut him off before he continued his rant
“Y-you what? What did she even do to make you break up with her?” He asked seemingly appalled by my decision
“It wasn’t what she did, we’re just- we’re bad for each other. All we ever do is get into drama whether it’s inside our bubble or in the public eye. What we have isn’t healthy. You saw how much shit I got into because of our last break up. You can’t say that I’m wrong because you experienced it with me, every mood swing, every break down, I loved her too much, but we just weren’t made for each other.” I explained letting my mind roam free now that the burning liquid had finally allowed for a clear passage in my head
“As your friend, I should respect your decision, but that was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. You were made for each other, even during the time you hated her, you were head over heels in love with her. She never stopped loving you regardless of how much bullshit you two have been through. Of course times are going to get tough, that’s just our lives now. But the best thing about you two is that you both understood how it would be. Even now, I’m guessing she didn’t fight for you to stay in that room with her because she understands that it’s hard being with a person like her, a person just like you. I’m hoping the alcohol helps you come to your senses in the morning without a huge hangover so you can go back to her and explain just why you two are so right for each other. But if it doesn’t and this is how you want to end it, then I will respect your decision, not because I want to, but because I know I have to.” He said making me feel the annoyance in his voice because of what I did.
Maybe he was right, maybe I was wrong. But even with the drinks, his words didn’t phase me. I truly believe I did the right thing. There are so many better options for the both of us, options that don’t include this much shit, this many problematic people in our lives. It would be so much simpler if we weren’t together anymore, and that is why I finalized my decision. I did it to better the both of us no matter how much it hurt. Sometimes you have to let go in order for something greater to come along.
