#luke hemmings fanfiction
not even halfway through the song, this is going to be one of my favorite songs of all time.
IS IT SOLO MUSIC OR NOT NOW IM SO CONFUSED??? i was so sure it was a luke solo album but now i’m being told it’s 5sos 5 but why is he the only one posting the clips??? ITS DEF A LUKE SOLO ALBUM RIGHT??
Words: 2,067
Rating: just lite angst
Pairing: Luke Hemmings/Reader
A/N:Pretty much based on Babe by Sugarland and also this request, but also a little different than both things
Luke knew he had made a huge mistake as he noticed how different things appeared to be. Walls were stripped of their photographs, dates in the calendar had to be altered because those plans were now null and void, and now the only time he gets to hear the sound of her voice is when he calls and gets her voicemail. He had to be the dumbest person in the world to put a stop to his own happiness.
Y/N had left a bunch of empty holes in his life and he didn’t know how to fill them. Once upon a time he would have fixed his problem with a busty blonde and a stiff drink, but after what he had already done, that would have just added insult to injury.
He had met Heather at a party. Until that point, she was just some amateur actress that he had occasionally heard being name dropped at clubs and social events. He had been drinking prior to arriving at the party. Things in his relationship were becoming difficult. After a while, Luke had a tendency of sabotaging his own relationships. Whether it be the fear of commitment, the fear of attachment, or the fear of being happy, he always did something to ruin a perfectly okay relationship.
This time was different though. He had been seeing Y/N for almost a year and a half now, and as things got difficult, he didn’t quite know how to handle it. In his mind, one fight about their future meant they wouldn’t have one. It wasn’t that he wanted to lose his girlfriend, but more of the fact that he thought she deserved more than someone who could be so clueless when it came to being with another person.
With his friends happy to keep providing him with drinks, Luke couldn’t help but find himself talking nonstop to Heather about the girl he actually wanted to be with at the moment. Then, all of a sudden, there were cameras. People were asking why he was here with Heather and not Y/N, asking if he was cheating on her, and making things look worse than they were.
To his credit though, Luke didn’t let things go further than talking. Only, Y/N didn’t know that. All she was aware of was that they were fighting, and the next day she woke up to photos of another girl who was all over Luke. Every other second she was getting a notification from someone else who had tagged her in the same post.
Since Luke ended up sleeping at his friend Michael’s place, he hadn’t even gotten to see Y/N when the story dropped. She had been so heartbroken and devastated, that she had gathered all of the things she had there and vacated his apartment before Luke got back the next morning.
It had been three days since that morning and he was still unable to get ahold of her. She had blocked him on social media, ignored every one of his phone calls, and refused to answer the door when he went to her apartment. He had no idea what to do.
Tonight was supposed to be the movie premiere from Y/N’s latest film, and as they usually did, Luke and Y/N were supposed to go together. He knew she would go no matter what, and he figured that this would be the only opportunity he would have to finally talk to her and explain himself. Surely she could understand how the press could twist a story and turn it into something it’s not.
Luke looked hopelessly at all the things that were now missing from his apartment. There used to be so many photos of the two of them. He was incredibly proud to show off his beautiful girlfriend and would do so at any given opportunity. He was never one to shy away when being interviewed about her. He would always tell them how happy he was and how much he cared about her. Now his precious trinkets were gone without a trace. He knew if he couldn’t fix things now, he may never get her back.
He didn’t want to think about what might happen if he doesn’t right this wrong. He quickly turned his back and exited the apartment in its entirety. It was time to leave, he decided.
Luke knew people would speculate why he showed up to the event. They would wonder if the couple might still be together. They may think Luke is just an incredibly supportive ex. He knew photographers would ask stupid questions like they always do when they hound him in public. However, he didn’t care about anything other than the mission he crafted in order to get Y/N back.
When he arrived, he felt apprehension coursing through his veins. He didn’t care about the crowd of people or the screaming or any of the celebrities lining the carpet. He had one purpose at the moment. He wasn’t exactly sure how he would find her, as he didn’t think it all the way through, but as if the universe was actually on his side, it only took a few minutes before he spotted her publicist.
Her publicist, Tom, was too busy talking over a headset to even notice the frantic Luke shoving through hordes of people to get to him. “Where’s Y/N,” Luke asked, with no intention of trying to make small talk. Tom scoffed at Luke’s brashness. “You really shouldn’t be here,” he expressed, “But considering I’ve always thought you were good for business, I’ll take you to her on one condition…” Tom stated.
At this point, Luke was willing to do whatever it might take. There was no condition that he would say no to. “Do whatever you want in your spare time, but don’t ever let it be made public again. I can work with a cheating scandal, but more than one makes her look weak and that’s not the image I have for Y/N,” Tom prompted. Luke easily agreed. He had no intention of letting something like this happen ever again. Even if it wasn’t exactly his fault.
“Okay, right this way,” Tom instructed, taking Luke inside the building that held the event. He led him through a hallway that was for authorized personnel only, lined with guards who would only let you go through if you had a lanyard with a badge on it.
After a few twists and turns, Luke heard her voice before he even saw her. All of a sudden, everything between the two of them became an obstacle. Luke pushed through Tom, as well as several other people and objects until the two were standing face to face.
She had looked stunning, as usual. She was dressed to the nines. Such beauty made him forget what he needed to say, so she was the first to speak. “Luke,” She mumbled rather quietly. It was her voice that brought him back to reality.
“I know it’s a bad time, but I really need to talk to you,” he expressed as if there were no one else in the room. Just looking at him was difficult for Y/N. The last time she had seen his face was when she saw those pictures of him with another girl. “What is there left to say? You cheated on me. That’s pretty much the last straw,” she explained still not speaking much louder than a whisper.
This was what Luke was truly afraid of. He knew it would look as if he were lying, but he was so desperate that he didn’t really care about appearances. “I didn’t cheat on you. I never have and never will. Can you please just give me a chance to explain?” He begged.
He really should have thought more about what he was going to say once he saw her, but he had assumed the right words would come to him when he saw her. This proved to be somewhat of a mistake. He was now on the spot with no real way of being able to prove that nothing had happened.
He hoped his word was enough. Although looking back, Luke realized that once you’ve been labeled a cheater, your word kind of loses its meaning.
“You have five minutes. I really have to get out there soon,” she stated. She had never given their breakup an official ending. He cheated. She figured they didn’t need more of an ending than that, but seeing how torn apart Luke seemed, she decided against her better judgment to at least listen to him.
The two left the very public hallway and found a more private room where they could chat without the intrusion of everyone else.
“I know how those pictures look, but I swear to you nothing happened. I didn’t let anything happen. We just talked and I couldn’t stop talking about you. I’m sure she could even attest to that. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, when I should’ve been at the apartment with you. I just, I don’t know…we were talking about moving in together and it sort of freaked me out. I didn’t know if I was ready for that, but she helped me realize all I want is to make you happy. And after not seeing you at all these last few days especially, I realized I want to see you every day. I want you to be the first person I see in the morning and the last person I see at night. It was the idea of being with just one person forever that scared me, but as long as you’re that person, I’m not worried. I want you to be the one I marry someday and start a family with. I know that now and I was an idiot not to see it before. I love you and I will never take having you for granted ever again. Please, just give me one more chance to earn your trust back,” Luke rambled. Words were flying out of his mouth before they were going through his brain. He didn’t even know if his words made sense to anyone except himself.
Y/N was slightly shocked. He had never been so forward about the future. Sure, up until the other night, he was committed to her in terms of not being with anyone else, but Luke never wanted to talk about marriage or kids and he was so reluctant to even discuss moving in together when she had brought it up before.
She knew how she felt, but he was always unsure about even the idea of getting married to anyone at any point in his life. She knew he wouldn’t just mention that kind of thing if it wasn’t something he actually wanted. He wasn’t much of a liar, especially when it came to Y/N.
Truth be told, these had been some of the hardest days without him. She heard him calling every time and she just about broke down not allowing herself to answer it. She knew he was right outside her door, begging to speak to her, but she had to force herself to him knocking from the other side. She had wondered how he could do this and break every promise and ruin every “I love you,” he had ever expressed to her.
“You really want all of that? You’re not going to run again?” she asked.
“That was the last time, I swear. Babe, I know what I want. I’m certain of it,” Luke insisted. As he spoke, he was certain of his words. She even had to admit, she had missed the way it sounded when he called her babe. She had missed hearing his voice in general.
She reached one of her hands to touch his face. “Good, because I don’t want to give it one more shot if you’re not sure you can handle it,” she demanded.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” Luke declared, pulling her closer to him. “I love you, Luke,” she whispered. He decided he would let her make the first move, so it wasn’t until she reciprocated by saying those words, that he went for a kiss.
“I love you too, babe,” he responded feeling more at peace and content than he had ever felt in his life.
Josie’s P.O.V.
I was greeted in a commotion of people, a mixture of fans and paps who had just found my location after days of hiding.
According to a girl standing amongst the barricaded fans, I had been caught in one of Alex’s wedding photos and they had known since the wedding was over that I’d be back in town for my album release any day now, and they were right.
But once airport security led me outside, I had been forced to enter a car waiting in the front lot, not being able to go anywhere else without a crowd following, but I complied hearing the driver say that Kate sent him.
Before even arriving home, the driver immediately took me to her office. I hadn’t checked my phone since my last argument with Luke the day before, so only God knows what she has in store for me.
Once I entered the building, instead of being greeted with the bright faces of some of the workers, they gave me small smiles, others gave me puzzled looks as if they didn’t expect to see me for some odd reason. The most memorable one was small whisper of “good luck” that Kate’s secretary gave to me before leading me to her room. But entering it was an entirely new playing field.
“You didn’t answer your phone. Hell, you didn’t even have your phone on for the past few weeks. I was running your social media every single day bullshitting whatever the fuck I could until I finally got a hold of you!” She yelled once the doors closed behind me
“You act like you don’t control my social media accounts even when I am on my phone,” I rolled my eyes unphased by her attitude
“You haven’t checked your accounts at all, have you?” She groaned before tossing her phone at me
“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” I basically yelled back at the sudden hit of her phone
“Look at it! Look what you’ve fucking missed!”
When my eyes finally averted to the screen, it showed the picture that Jason had been threatening for weeks now to expose, the picture that Luke had seen the day before, the picture that ruined everything between us. But I had no emotion towards any more. I wasn’t hurt that he had leaked it, I knew it was going to happen one way or another, he wanted his fame and he got it. But I know that is not at all how Kate feels about it.
"So?“ I shrugged in annoyance turning her phone off and tossing it on one of her couches
"So? What do you mean so? Your album release is literally days away! You’re supposed to be the golden child right now! Not the slutty pop star!” She yelled in aggravation as I just sighed
"You’re my publicist, fix it,“ was all I said to her before finally leaving. She was not finished with me, as I opened the door to her office, she was still yelling, but I couldn’t care less. Her screams were mumbles to me at this point. All I could focus on was how every step away from her carried me closer to my bed, and I needed sleep more than anything at this point. I had slept on the plane ride back, but I was still drained, mentally and physically. Everything was dull around me for the time being, there was nothing I could handle with my full capabilities, it was like my strength has left the second my plane boarded for lift off in the East Coast. But I guess that’s how all break ups are.
I’ll get over it, I know I will. I have to.
Luke’s P.O.V.
No one had spoken to me after Calum left my room that morning. To be quite fair, I didn’t put myself out there to start any conversations. On the plane ride to Sydney, Calum and Michael spoke with each other, Ashton had his head phones in, and Julia was sleeping. But being in the same cabin with all of them was never so restless. I couldn’t look at Calum without thinking about how angry he was at me, knowing how Michael is, I know he is just as mad at me. I couldn’t look at Ashton without remembering how he kissed Julia right in front of me, how both of them looked so surprised to see me walking into my own band mates room. It made me think about how long they’ve been keeping their relationship a secret behind my back, had it even been as far as when I was almost in love with her?
I told her everything, what if she told them in return?
As I sat in my seat, all I could notice was the amount of lies floating around in front of me. Calum and Michael were mad but they didn’t know the truth. Ashton and Julia betrayed my trust by not telling me the truth. And here I was, alone because I finally faced the truth.
Nothing good ever comes out with honesty, I guess. You expose yourself to the fact of the matter, but no one is ever the winner after that.
Ashton’s P.O.V.
Once we landed in Sydney, everyone went their separate ways meeting up with their parents, but since Julia’s couldn’t make it, I offered to take her back home with which she responded with much refusal.
"It’s fine, Ashton, be with your family, I’m going to take taxi,” she excused herself
"My mom would never forgive me if I told her I let you go off on your own,“ I reasoned
"Then don’t tell her,” she spoke back with sass in her voice as she lugged her suitcase around to the front of the airport
"Julia, just let me take you home,“ I sighed
"No,” she stated plainly before going onto her phone to call for transportation, but I took it out of her hands before she could speak
“Ashton! Don’t be annoying, I’m calling a fucking taxi, alright!” She exclaimed, catching me off guard at the aggressiveness of her tone
"Why are you so pissed off? Can’t we just talk about it on the drive back to your place?“ I asked
"That’s why I don’t want you to take me home, I don’t want to talk, not now.” She explained, but I couldn’t accept that.
If we didn’t talk now, she would come up with some other excuse to why she was feeling this way to spare my emotions, but for once, I needed her to say exactly how she was feeling now, no matter how much it could hurt me. I’m tired of all these games, all the different stories, I needed something real with her, and I needed it now.
‘We have to do it sooner or later!” I basically yelled, clearly agitated by her attitude. But the fact that we were in a crowded airport did not help my case. My voice caught the attention of many onlookers trying to figure out why the hell I was yelling, but that also drew focus on me. It wasn’t long before some fans caught a glimpse of me and began circling around us trying to ask for a picture without being rude.
“Great, now look what you’ve done,” She mumbled before pulling her suitcase to her side to begin walking
The fans had made a clear exit for her by spreading themselves to leave a pathway for Julia to walk through, but I couldn’t let her go now. Despite the growing crowd, I had followed behind her, ensuing a brisk walk from the fans also trailing behind us.
“Just leave me alone, Ashton,” She said trying to shoo me away, but I couldn’t take that
“Not after we talk,” I argued as she continued to quicken her pace
It wasn’t long before some girls began to grow impatient at this waiting game, so I heard my name being called multiple times behind me. The first time, I said to give me a second, but all the rest, I unintentionally ignored. I zoned a lot of the voices out except for Julia, since she was all that mattered right about now.
“You have people to attend to,” She told me as an excuse as I scoffed
“You only have one person to attend to and you can’t even do that,” I retorted before almost running face first into a celphone forced in front of my face for a selfie. I had to physically stop myself at that point so I didn’t bump into anyone. I knew at my frame, if I kept going, I was bound to hurt someone on accident which the tabloids would eat up. I quickly took pictures, while trying to keep my eye on Julia who was still making her way to the pick up area at the airport were cabs would wait, but I lost her in the sea of people in front of me.
“I’m sorry, I’m really trying to talk to that girl again,” I apologized to the fans as a lot of them sighed. Seeing the sadness in their faces, made me second guess my words though. As I was just going to continue taking pictures of them, airport secuirty began to force their way through before asking everyone to disperse. They told me that they had my car waiting in the front being fully aware of the commotion that our band would be today, so I obliged not wanting to start anymore trouble. As I was led to the front of the airport, I spotted Julia there calling for a taxi.
Julia’s P.O.V.
I was waving for a cab over and over again just trying to get the hell out of this location, but I could hear Ashton and his fans coming closer and closer to the airport exit. I quickly ordered an uber, knowing that if taxis weren’t an option, uber was just as reliable. I was right seeing as there was a huge line up of drivers near the airport to pick up people arriving or departing. It only took seconds for the car to arrive right in front of me. The driver was even nice enough to bring my suitcase into the trunk.
“Hi, is this for Julia?” I asked him as he nodded
I smiled slightly to be polite before opening the car door. I looked to my right, watching the hoard of fans nearing closer to me just before entering, but the second I turned left, I found Ashton sitting right next to me.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Josie’s P.O.V.
Every one told me to go back inside, hell, even the hotel staff asked me to because of the pity they felt. But I stayed. I was sat on the floor, leaning my head against the wall next to the door in case he decided to open the door any time soon.
“Josie, you know him, he’s not gonna open up for hours,” Calum looked down at me, but I didn’t bother to look at him. I blocked him out even. I stared at the wallpaper in front of me, the mustard yellow hinted with whites of floral stayed engraved in my mind for the time being, not what happened an hour before, not the words that Calum told me now.
“And you know me,” I replied to him simply. He shrugged in defeat.
“I’ll order you breakfast in the morning then,” He finally ended before going back into his room.
And here I stayed.
Luke’s P.O.V.
I didn’t know what I was doing in that room, it’s what everyone expected of me. It’s what I expected of me. But I knew it was better to lock myself up before anything else happens. It keeps me in and everyone else out, great motto to live by right?
I found myself thinking, not thinking, just soaking in my past. All the good, the bad, the Josie which was always accompanied by both. Was it even worth it anymore? Everything with her has been up and down since the beginning. It’s so much easier to just forget about it. I’m so fucking tired of looking dumb, of feeling used.
If she is telling the truth, even if she does have a good defense for what happened. We’re still no good for each other. I think I finally understand that now. We’ve never been good for each other, we know each other too well both personal and public lives. Neither of us can admit it, but the fame will always get in the way. We could never be one of those couples to just fall in love for the hell of it, there are always strings attached. Always.
So this is me, finally getting off of the bed, lifting my head from my hands and taking a final breath before leaving. With the hours passing by, I seemed to have collected myself enough to take the first few steps, but the second I opened the door, I saw her. She sat there, head leaning against the wall, eyes shut, and slow breaths escaping her mouth.
Peaceful. Beautiful. Like always. I thought
But I didn’t fall at her feet like I used to.
We’re bad for each other. Everyone knows it. I thought reinforcing my mindset
I took another breath. But a different one. A calm one.
I lifted her up gently, feeling her rustle a bit in my arms before hearing her mumble a quiet.
“I’m sorry,”
“Me too.” I said back before placing her in bed
I laid the blanket on top of her, squatting down to eye level with her before kissing her forehead. My lips were pressed on hers for a lot longer than I intended.
“Don’t act like you’re saying goodbye, Luke,” she whispered. I could see the water start to form in her sleepy eyes.
Even she knew.
“I have to,” That broke her.
I kept my face stone, knowing that if I broke too, she would never let me leave.
“But I love you, you know that?” I said trying to make things better, but the tear falling down her cheek proved my failure
“I know,” She said weakly
“I love you too,” She said wiping the tear from her face
“I know.”
I kissed her forehead one last time before leaving, but I could feel her hands tense up to mine as if she couldn’t let go. But she did.
I left the room, heading over to mine, where Calum was situated now since I basically kicked him out of his own room. He was sleeping, of course, it was about 4 am by now, but he woke up to me rustling near him next to the complimentary alcohol that the inn provided us with.
“I swear to God, if you make me leave another bed tonight, I’m going to punch you so hard, Luke,” He grumbled into his pillow expecting me to do just what he had said
“You’re good, Cal, you can stay there,” I said back picking up the single bottle of Corona left in the room, opening it to make the popping noise, which made Calum look up at me
“You alright, bro?” He asked rolling over in his bed to pay better attention to me
“No-not really, but shit happens, it’s life,” I spewed out whatever nonsense I could before letting the beer drip down my throat in a second of relief. I started walking outside onto the balcony wear I found my permanent spot on a lawn chair overlooking the outside world. The cool air breezed through and even through the storm, everything felt calm for once, even after everything that had just happened
“You know damn well a single bottle of beer isn’t gonna solve your problems,” Calum sighed, rubbing his eyes as he started to get used to his surroundings after waking up
“I know, that’s why I brought his friend, Grey Goose with me,” I smirked signaling to the other bottle of vodka that I had placed next to me before downing a shot of that too.
Besides, I wasn’t using alcohol to escape for once. I did it to actually allow myself to let loose. Not in a care free way, but a relief. An actual fresh breath of air where there was nothing in my mind. This was all for me, for once, I was doing it because of me.
“That isn’t what I meant, Luke,” He said a little more sternly as he took a seat next to me
“You and Josie are something else, whatever happened, I’m sure you two will work it out,” He attempted to reassure me
“Not this time,” I shook my head feeling the alcohol starting to rush to my head
“She was waiting at your door all night, wouldn’t leave for anything. Trust me, we all tried to get her to go back inside since you weren’t letting her in. She loves you, and you love her back.”
“I ended it,” I cut him off before he continued his rant
“Y-you what? What did she even do to make you break up with her?” He asked seemingly appalled by my decision
“It wasn’t what she did, we’re just- we’re bad for each other. All we ever do is get into drama whether it’s inside our bubble or in the public eye. What we have isn’t healthy. You saw how much shit I got into because of our last break up. You can’t say that I’m wrong because you experienced it with me, every mood swing, every break down, I loved her too much, but we just weren’t made for each other.” I explained letting my mind roam free now that the burning liquid had finally allowed for a clear passage in my head
“As your friend, I should respect your decision, but that was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. You were made for each other, even during the time you hated her, you were head over heels in love with her. She never stopped loving you regardless of how much bullshit you two have been through. Of course times are going to get tough, that’s just our lives now. But the best thing about you two is that you both understood how it would be. Even now, I’m guessing she didn’t fight for you to stay in that room with her because she understands that it’s hard being with a person like her, a person just like you. I’m hoping the alcohol helps you come to your senses in the morning without a huge hangover so you can go back to her and explain just why you two are so right for each other. But if it doesn’t and this is how you want to end it, then I will respect your decision, not because I want to, but because I know I have to.” He said making me feel the annoyance in his voice because of what I did.
Maybe he was right, maybe I was wrong. But even with the drinks, his words didn’t phase me. I truly believe I did the right thing. There are so many better options for the both of us, options that don’t include this much shit, this many problematic people in our lives. It would be so much simpler if we weren’t together anymore, and that is why I finalized my decision. I did it to better the both of us no matter how much it hurt. Sometimes you have to let go in order for something greater to come along.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Josie’s P.O.V.
We were out of the hotel room, walking around the town. Since the sun was setting, it made it even easier for us to disguise our faces from random onlookers. It was as if we were perfect again. We were never perfect before, but our relationship was better, at least, the best it’s been in a while.
We entered the cheesiest 50s themed restaurant with big red and white booths and a juke box that you had to put a quarter into to play music. The waiters and waitresses were all wearing clothes from another era, from flowy midi skirts to slicked back hair. We were seated in a booth overlooking the increasing nightlife that this small town seemed to offer with more and more pedestrians filling the streets. It was a far way from the country side, where our hotel was located in, which was a huge scenic change, but a beautiful one at that.
Luke ordered a large vanilla milkshake and specifically asked for two straws as if today couldn’t get more cliche enough. By now I would’ve thought that we hit the maximum overload of cheesiness, but Luke was able to surpass that.
“It’s been months, but you haven’t changed,” I commented sipping on my straw of the milkshake as he held one of my hands in his. We were sat across from each other in a booth, but he had his long legs stretched out underneath the table allowing me to feel his foot against mine as if we weren’t already physically touching.
“I actually did, for a little bit,” he shrugged with a slight droop in his usually broad shoulders
“The whole thing really did screw us both over,” I added
“But you got one hell of a song out of it,” I continued making him protrude the slightest of smiles as he shook his head
“And you probably have one hell of an album coming out this week,” he said back as I looked at him
Before today, I would’ve never thought that he would even bother to read something about me online, but I guess his words prove otherwise
“Did you google me?” I questioned jokingly since I never even mentioned my album release to him
“No, but you’re all over the tv and the internet to promote it, it’s kinda hard not to know about it,” he answered
“Well, since you already know the date, I think all you need now is the time for you to arrive at the party,” I smiled, but this time I watched his start to fade
“Is that an invitation?” He asked seeming confused mixed with a hint of hesitation at his words
“I doubt that I can make it through the entire event without you, so yeah,” I said hopefully, but received a sigh from the other half of the table
“Kate’s going to be there, she doesn’t know what happened and I feel like we’re better off if it stays that way,” he explained
I knew he was right, but I still couldn’t fathom spending that day without him. The album was written about our entire relationship after all, through all the trials and tribulations, I didn’t want his presence at the event to be a statement to the paparazzi or the fans, I wanted it to validate ourselves and our survival through all the bullshit. But he does have a point.
I didn’t reply, knowing that he was justifiably correct, but he took my silence as a caution sign.
“But if you want me to go, then I’ll do it for you,” he spoke
Luke’s P.O.V.
I don’t know whether it was a sense of relief or regret after I said those words to her, but I knew that in the moment it was what she needed to hear. Releasing an album is stressful, especially when you’ve been through the struggle we have been through both as individuals and as a couple. Honestly, I just want to be next to her for as long as humanly possible as crazy as that sounds.
After the diner, we headed back to my hotel taking the actual scenic route in the countryside as we had our taxi driver drop us off a mile away from the actual location so we could walk on the gravel. It was night, but the stars in the sky didn’t make it seem as dark as it usually is in the city. One step after the other I heard the crunch of dirt underneath my shoes as the sound of her own steps filled it’s own silence. We held heads and occasionally she would bring my larger hand up to her lips in a cradle of both of her hands making me let out soft smiles here and there. It all felt surreal to be honest. Like this was all a dream, but this time there wasn’t any loud noise or sharp sound to wake me up because this was real life, and I couldn’t be more thankful for it.
When we got to my hotel room, she plopped herself into my bed after placing all the articles she had in her small bag into one corner of the room. It felt like we were still in the past when she was tagging along on tour with the boys and I. This was what it felt like. This is what I remember comfort to be like, what warmth felt like even without her physical being against mine. It took me a second before I snapped back Into my actual position because I spent some minutes just gazing at her in all her depths. She was stretching herself out once my vision cleared and it brought me right back into business. Going through my luggage, I picked out a random shirt before throwing it at her rendering a small giggle from her as she lifted herself up to sit against the edge of the bed.
“You’re probably never getting this shirt back, you should know that now,” she commented taking her top off as I contemplated looking away or not for a moment
“Still hesitant about the female anatomy huh?” She teased standing up to walk towards me as I stared down at her face, nothing else.
“The female body I understand just fine, but yours is different. You’re like an alien to me,” I spoke thinking straight out of my mouth without formulating a clear statement first making the both of us laugh
“An alien? That’s the best you could come up with?” She asked placing my shirt on to herself before unbuttoning her jeans. After slipping them off, she walked to her bag, folding the fabric she held in her hands and putting it inside. She took her phone out, turning it on I assumed, but groaned at the view of the screen in front of her for a reason that I couldn’t make out, but I didn’t want to intrude.
“It’s true,“ I said not bothering to ask her
I wasn’t lying after all. She’s always been so foreign to me, whether we were on good terms or bad, I could never figure her out and I didn’t try to. I liked the mystery, how I learned something new about her everyday.
"In that case, you’re an alien to me to,” she replied after setting her phone down. Taking my hand to lead me to the bed, she laid down on one side, her usual side like it used to always be, and I found my spot right next to her under the sheets.
“And why is that?” It took her a second to answer, I doubt that she was even thinking of one, she tended to speak right off the top of her head most of the time.
“You’re basically a phenomenon, Luke. Actually, the story of us is pretty crazy within its own self. But you, you’re something else.” She shrugged turning over on her side to face me
As if it were natural instinct, my arm immediately found its way to drape itself over her as she snuggled her fact into my chest. It wasn’t long before her soft breaths were being felt blowing against me, but I couldn’t sleep as quickly as she did. Late night thoughts were creeping up onto me, thoughts of how easily this could be messed up. Our relationship is so fragile, everything about it made me feel so uneasy.
If we weren’t meant to be together, would another break up wreck me like the last one did? Is this all another trick? Does she really love me? Why me? She’s her for fucks sake. …but, if she didn’t love me, she wouldn’t have done all this for me. Even if Kate did do what she did, Josie could’ve just broken up with me before, could’ve avoided all the pain on both parts, but she stayed for as long as she could… Right?
All this doubt started to fill my mind about the girl who I held in my arms right now. Looking down at her, one of my hands was entangled in her hair, running my fingers through it like I used it, smelling her tropical scented shampoo like I used to. My other hand rested right at the dip of her waist, but my eyes were studying her face, how peaceful she looked sleeping, how for a second the world seemed to be quiet for us, not as crazy as it always is. It felt like we were getting a break for once, but just once. To get my mind in a different direction, I forced myself to think about random things to get myself to fall asleep quicker. The room was fairly dark except for the light of the night sky peaking out of the window curtains in small crevices. But out of the corner of my eye, in the opposite direction, an even brighter light was shining. One that I couldn’t get myself to ignore. It was a cellphone screen and its brightness was on full blast occasionally turning on and off every time she got a new message. Carefully and quietly, I released her from my arms and slowly got up trying my best not to make the bed shake too much to let her sleep. But as I got closer and closer to the phone, the words got cleared and clearer on the screen. There was a text from Kate and multiple texts from a guy named Jason. Texts that I couldn’t forget.
Kate: ANSWER YOUR PHONE. ARE YOU WITH LUKE?
Jason: fun time that night. we should do it again babe ;)
Along with a picture of her sleeping in his bed by his side.
My actions after seeing that didn’t match up with my emotions at all. I didn’t know how to feel, I was angry, sad, frustrated, fucking infuriated. But instead of yelling, instead of breaking things around me, ruining everything in sight. I dropped her phone, walked out, and slammed the door behind me. This was the last time, this is the last time I’m falling for anything Josie tells me. I actually believed her when she made me feel like I was the only one. But I’m just a toy to her, something she can use for fame, for her own benefit, her own emotions, never even minding my own well being. As if she would care about me when she’s been with another guy, probably more than just one guy. She knew I would be at Alex’s wedding, she knew that she held my heart in her hands, she knew that I would always be there to love her, she saw what a mess she made of me after the break up, she could’ve done something but she didn’t. Instead of thinking of me before the wedding, she thought of all the other guys she could spend time using. This is just another scheme, I know it. Kate knew that she and I would be in the same place. God fucking dammit. She probably invited me to her album release party just for the paps to see, to stir up more drama. She knew, she fucking knew.
With all these thoughts embedded into my mind, the only person I could think of talking to was Julia, she’s always been there for all my bullshit, she knows what to do, she knows how to make me forget about everything. She’ll fix it, she’ll fix me.
Julia’s P.O.V.
And there I was. Kissing Ashton motherfucking Irwin. I had thought about this sometimes always, sometimes never. He was my best friend for gods sake. I grew up with him. He grew up with me. Seeing couples who lived through these type of things were always so beautiful, but us? I had hopes but not high hopes. He was always with someone else, someone beautiful, someone who’d he come to me to talk about. It made me think “this could never happen, not for us, not in a million years”.
But here we are.
Our lips moved like we’ve done this for ages, like I knew him like the back of my hand, to be quite frank, I did know him like the back of my hand, but only everything about him except for this part. Except for the physicalness of a relationship. My hand rested on his chest, feeling his muscles contort with every movement of his body as he pushed towards me closer and closer like our distance wasn’t good enough. I knew his body, I knew the hairs on the back of his neck stood up when he was nervous, and I could feel them right now forcing me to let out a small smile through my lips. In return, he kept his hands gripped my waist rather tightly as if he was prepared to catch me if I fell, he knew that my knees got extra weak when I had too many butterflies in my stomach, and this moment didn’t seem to miss any one of those butterflies.
It was his lips that I knew almost nothing about. We had only kissed once, a short one at that. I could feel him start to lean into me, prompting me to move back with every step he took, but just before I felt the wall nearing close to my back. The door opened.
"Fuck,“ I heard Luke break out in a small voice. The look on his face was broken, his eyes looked at us in complete sadness before turning angry, his fists started to clench at his sides, but before I could say another word, he closed the door.
"Shit,” I breathed before rushing out after him. He was in the hallways forcing his way into Calum’s room before beginning to yell “Get out!"
Within seconds, a shirtless and tired Calum was forced out of his room more confused than ever. Luke slammed the door and locked it behind him. Ashton trailed behind me with Michael opening his door questioning what the fuck just happened. I knocked against his door trying to get him to talk to me, but I knew that my methods wouldn’t work for him anymore after what he saw.
"Luke, just talk to me, let me explain,” I pleaded
“You can’t just lock yourself in there forever, you tried that before, remember?” Ashton added on in a rather annoyed tone
“You’re not helping, just go back inside,” I remarked hearing him scoff
“He’s a grown ass man, you can’t keep trying to take care of him like this, at least he knows the truth,” Ashton retorted
“The truth? What even is the truth anymore Ashton?! He knows nothing! I don’t even know what was going on when you kissed me! There’s no such thing as the fucking truth anymore,” I yelled
"Wait- you guys kissed?“ Michael cut in
Before an answer could slip through my lips, another door opened. This time, it was Josie. She wasn’t sobbing when she came out, but there were tears.
"Jo, what happened?” Calum asked
But she didn’t answer, instead, she went to Luke’s door, knocking on it weakly.
“Luke, please listen to me,” she begged leaning her head against the door
But even her voice wasn’t enough for him.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Josie’s P.O.V.
It didn’t matter how long it was, or what happened. But I was back in his arms, feeling his stubble resting on the top of my head. We were surrounded by silence, but a comfortable silence. This hotel room didn’t feel like home, he did. It was his warmth, his smell, his presence that lifted everything off me. The stress I had from the album, from the fans, for the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel any of it. The second my album release drops this week, is the second that I can finally be with him completely. Right now we were just savoring the time we finally had.
“We should go out,” He abruptly suggested making me turn over to face him
“Are you kidding?” I questioned
“We were supposed to see the world together, remember? This is a part of that world,”
“There’s nothing to see within miles of here,” I reasoned trying to come up with an excuse to stay in
“There’s always a pretty amazing view as long as you’re with me,” He shrugged nonchalantly while I laughed at how cheesy he was
“God I missed you,” I shook my head
Ashton’s P.O.V.
It actually felt like everyone could finally breath for a while. There was no tension in any room we walked in, no reason for anyone to be angry. At least not because of Josie. Although Julia and I were on fairly decent terms, there was never any closure. She still doesn’t know how I really feel about her, but now that Luke is okay, I finally have the chance to tell her. All I have to do now is get her alone, but Mike and Cal were still beaming from the warming reunion everyone had just a few hours ago.
“We should celebrate, do something really fun with Josie again,” Calum suggested with his dimples embedded into his smile as he spoke
“Today? Her and Luke are probably sexing it up in his hotel room, we can’t interrupt that,” Michael shot him down trying to be considerate
“Then tomorrow so they’ll be done with their sexual escapades and we can party like we all used to,” Calum restated receiving a big approval from Mike But throughout the happiness that the boys were radiating, I could still spot Julia’s unusual quietness from next to me.
“Are you alright?” I questioned placing a hand on hers as she flinched a little in response. I immediately took my hand back thinking that I startled her in the worst way, but she reassured me.
“Sorry I was just thinking,” she tried saying sincerely while I nodded before paying back attention to Mike and Cal conversing before us. This time, I was the one caught off guard when she abruptly vocalized her thoughts cutting into the rest of the boys.
“How am I going to tell Luke about everything?” She questioned as we all looked at her
“What do you mean?” Michael asked
“My job here is done, I can’t just keep lying to him,” she explained
“I wouldn’t say that you’re lying,” Calum tried offering
“But it’s not the truth either,” she retorted
“Julia, you can’t tell him,” I said
“If I don’t tell him, one of you guys will. Neither of you can keep this big of a secret from your best friend no matter how hard you try and you all know that,” she said resulting in silence within all of us. We knew she was right, but we couldn’t admit it.
None of this was expected, Luke was supposed to get over Josie but it ended up working out for the better. He’s happy, Josie’s happy, Calum and Mike are happy, but now here’s Julia, drowning in the guilt that I put onto her.
“Mike, Cal, can you guys give us a minute?” I asked them as they nodded and left the room. Once we were alone, I couldn’t even collect my own thoughts to figure out what I was going to say, so I just threw out whatever came to my head.
“I’m sorry.” I blurted out making her look up at me
“Ashton, don’t be,” she tried to make me feel better. This is what she always did.
“No, I am. I put you in this situation, I’m the one who is making you feel so shitty about yourself. It is my fault and I’m so sorry for doing it,” I let out
After I said that, she took stepped a little closer to my placing a hand on my shoulder as a quiet reassurance. We used to be so capable of understanding each other in the past even when we were both dead silent, but over the past few months since I’ve been making her do what she has been doing, our connection had been lost. I hadn’t realized just how deeply our friendship together had fallen out, but I could finally feel it piecing back together now.
Her hand was resting on my shoulder as she gently squeezed the blade letting her thumb slowly move into the spot right next to my neck that gave me chills down my spine because of how sensitive it was there.
"Still gives you goosebumps huh?“ She questioned even though she knew the answer already, she knew everything about me from my physical actions to my mental, it was a talent of hers really
"You’re still you,” I let out in a quiet breath as if it vocally slipped out of my mind
"Of course, I am,“ she shrugged placing her hand back to her side, but before it fell, I latched onto it with mine resulting in a puzzled look from her
"You didn’t have to do this whole scheme, but you still did. After a year of not talking, you acted as if I hadn’t been a complete asshole to you, as if everything were still okay. I don’t know why you do it, but I love you so much for it, Julia,” I thanked her in complete gratitude as she stared up at me
"I do it because we’re still best friends, Ash. No matter what,“ she said giving me the slightest amount of confidence that I needed
"No matter what?” I asked
"No matter what.“ She smiled
And with that, I took a quick step forward before lowering my lips to hers.
There was such a slight hesitation, letting our lips brush against each other’s for a second as I placed her hand on my neck and held her delicate fingers against my skin. I moved in first not being able to control myself for long. I had kissed her only once before and I missed how soft her lips were, how smooth her skin was, how kissing her made my stomach flutter even more than it did right before I went on stage to perform. Kissing her was nothing I could ever replicate, it was an experience each time our lips moved together, it was like I was on a high when I tasted her, and I never wanted to come down from it.
But then the door opened.
