#cassian acotar

Fanart by mftfernandez on Instagram

Request: “(Y/N) is Rhys’ sister/Azriel’s mate and she barely survives the attack from Tamlin’s family and her wings have been taken from her and it’s just Azriel’s reaction to it and him helping her”

Tags:@milllionthingsihaventdone​@akingdomofswordsandstories​

Warnings: gore, death, reader getting her wings cut off and almost dying, swearing

Word Count: 3,000

A/N: Always a pleasure to write for Az. This one’s a bit darker, definitely labeled angst for a reason. Has a fluffy ending though! <3

It was the middle of the night when they attacked.

You and your mother had never been sound sleepers, and since it was just the two of you traveling on foot to meet your brother, you’d decided to continue walking into the night.

You reached the place you’d planned to meet at before him, but that wasn’t a surprise. Rhys was many things, but timely wasn’t typically one of them (unless your father was involved). So you’d set a fire and hunkered down to wait, knowing you could be there anywhere from half an hour to half a day.

You were humming softly, admiring the view of the river in the moonlight, the silvery mist rolling up onto the banks. It was beautiful, but almost ominous. 

You had heard a twig snap somewhere in the forest behind you. You should have been more alert.

It took them all of thirty seconds to have you beaten and tied up, backs pressed tightly against the bark of trees and rope pricking your skin. You weren’t weak, not by any means. Your father had insisted you had proper training, that you knew how to fight, but there were so many of them.

You recognized the High Lord of the Spring Court and his many sons. In fact, you knew them. You’d even found one or two of the younger fae attractive at different points of the last century, though all that was irrelevant now. The unsheathed weapons in their hands confirmed your deepest fears.

“Your son, he was supposed to be here?” the High Lord asked. Neither of you said anything. Your focus was entirely on the determined and almost amused looks on the faces of the Spring Court nobility, the sneer their father wore, and the slight shake of your mother’s hand holding yours.

“Will he be joining us soon?” he tried again. You shrugged, trying to seem less terrified than you were.

“He’s not a timely sort,” you said, as nonchalantly as possible. As if you weren’t bound to a tree in the middle of the woods. “It’s a possibility.”

The High Lord snickered. “That’s a real shame. We were hoping he’d be here to join in on the fun.”

“You’re sick,” your mother whispered, voice shaky. You gave your mother’s hand a squeeze.

“Where is Rhysand now?”

“Why would I tell you that?” she spat incredulously.

“Because,” he drawled, gazing lustfully at his knife, “perhaps I’ll spare your lives if you do.”

You gasped, your mother tensing up beside you.

“You know what will happen to you if you kill us,” she said menacingly. “What Rhys will do, what my mate will do.”

“Pity that I don’t care,” he grinned. You felt like you were going to throw up.

“Please,” you whispered, tears beginning to spill out of your eyes. “Please.”

You could’ve sworn you saw a look of pity flash over some of their faces, but the High Lord only laughed. “Seize them.”

What happened next was a blur - the ropes were slashed and you were grabbed by two of the sons, pulled away from each other to opposite ends of the grove. Forced to kneel and watch by the light of the fire as the High Lord carved your mother’s wings off her back, screaming and thrashing and pleading up until the moment he sliced her head off at the neck.

You watched her body loll over to the side, her head - still bearing the comforting look she’d tried to give you in her last moments - feet away on the ground, eyes dull, next to her wings. You collapsed against the son who’d been holding you back, fell to your knees on the ground defeated.

There was no use in fighting back, you realized, as the High Lord turned to face you. Your mother’s blood was painted over him. There was no way for you to escape.

Winnow.

Your eyes widened, your mother’s voice clear as day in your head.

Winnow away.

From your place on the ground you could see the High Lord’s boots coming closer. You began to panic - you’d never winnowed before. That was Rhys’s thing, and you’d never bothered the practice.

You felt a hand grab the back of your tunic and pull you up, dragging you across the clearing towards your mother’s decapitated corpse.

You felt your stomach churn as he threw you down in front of the same stump he’d just used as a chopping block. He placed his palm on your back and pushed you flush against it, easily overpowering you as you struggled against it.

“Please,” you gasped, begging him to stop, begging the Cauldron to give you the strength to winnow just this once. “Please, please.”

You squeezed your eyes shut furiously, picturing the camp down the river, the camp where Rhys probably was right now. And your father. And maybe Cassian and Azriel.

Your family. You just wanted to see your family.

And then there was pain. Searing pain, at that sensitive, delicate point where your wings sprouted from your back. You screamed. Your wings, the bastard was taking your wings.

A great weight fell off the side of you, and you tipped over, overwhelmed with the imbalance of just one wing and the feeling of blood spilling down your back. A second hand reached out to grab your shoulder and pull you back up. You gritted your teeth.

Winnow away, winnow away.

Pain again, and more screaming, and another great loss. You collapsed against the stump in front of you, and threw up. One of them laughed, but you were too light headed to tell which one of them it was.

They were talking. Your head spun, trying to make out what they were saying.

“Maybe we shouldn’t kill her.”

“We could ask for a ransom, she’s already too weak to try and escape.”

“She’s seen too much for that.”

Rhys, you thought. Rhys, my father, Cassian, Azriel. Azriel.

The picture of the camp in your mind was bright. Please, you begged wordlessly. Please, I need to go there.

And when the High Lord turned towards where you’d been to finish the job, you were gone.

— — —

When you woke up, it was morning. You could hear the birds before you even opened your eyes, recognized the soft songs they only sang before the rest of the world was awake.

The second thing you noticed was the dull throb of your back pressed completely against the mattress under you. No wings. Your stomach dropped.

Rhys and Azriel were sitting on crates next to your bed. Your eyes had been open for maybe five seconds before they were up, rushing to crouch next to you.

“(Y/n),” Rhys started, voice full of emotion. He grabbed your hand, and you could feel him shaking.

“Rhys,” you croaked, squeezing his hand. “I sound fucking awful.”

The two of them laughed, maybe the saddest laugh you’d ever heard, but a laugh nonetheless.

“Do…do you remember what happened?” Rhys asked, voice trailing off. You grimaced and nodded, the memories of your mother’s body and the High Lord’s sneer burning in your mind.

“I remember all of it.”

You watched Azriel’s face fall, watch the conflict in his eyes as he looked over you and finally rested his hand softly on top of your high, thumb rubbing small circles against the blanket. His shadows followed suit, twisting around your legs in slow patterns. You found it oddly soothing, watching them weave between each other like little wisps of smoke.

“Where’s dad?” you asked, drawing your attention from Az and his shadows to Rhys. It was then you noticed the bandage on his forehead, the bruises on his forearms. Rhys hung his head.

“After you winnowed here, and after we made sure you were going to live through the night, we went to find mom.” He let out a shaky breath, whole body tense as if reliving whatever hell he also experienced that night. You noticed Azriel grab his shoulder with his free hand, supporting your brother as he tried to calm down.

“And then we went to the Spring Court. Dad and I killed all of them, all of them except Tamlin.” He paused. “And then Tamlin killed dad.”

You let out a choked sob, looking up at the ceiling defeatedly. Azriel’s hand on your thigh stilled, and then gave you a soft squeeze.

“It was all Tamlin,” Rhys continued softly. “Tamlin told his dad where to find you. Tamlin killed mom, killed dad-”

“And he almost killed me,” you finished, blinking back tears. You pushed yourself up slowly, sitting on the bed while Rhysand and Azriel watched you carefully. You went to stretch, to stretch your wings, the first thing you always did when you got up out of bed, but they weren’t there. You let out a strangled sob, and Rhys and Az jumped up.

“(Y/n), what is it?” your brother asked, resting a hand on your lower back tentatively.

“Rhys,” you whispered, voice thick with emotion. “Rhys, he took my wings.”

And then you cried. Cried for your parents, for your wings. Rhys was sitting next to you in an instant, one hand still on your back and the other holding yours, whispering to you that it would all be okay. And Azriel was on your other side, cradling your shoulders in his hands as you hunched forward and sobbed until you couldn’t anymore. 

The sobs turned to muffled crying, to whimpers, to sniffles, and then you were resting your head against Azriel’s chest, breathing thickly, him and Rhys each holding one of your hands.

“We’re orphans now,” you said bluntly. “What the fuck.”

Rhys let out a singular dry laugh and shook his head.

“And you’re High Lord!” you continued, looking at him incredulously. “Terrible circumstances, but congrats. Hope you don’t fuck up too badly.”

“Thank you for that, really,” Rhys said sarcastically. You could feel Azriel laughing silently against you.

“What’s your first like, decree, going to be?” you asked curiously.

“I’ve already made it,” he replied. “Guess what it is.”
“Monetary reward for Tamlin’s dead body,” you said. Rhys shook his head.

“A ban on wing clipping,” he said softly. You gasped, tears pricking your eyes.

“Rhys-”

“Followed by a temporary ban on trading with the Spring Court.”

“Mom would’ve loved that,” you whispered, squeezing his hand. He gave you a tight-lipped grin and nodded.

“It’ll take a while to get all the different camps to accept it, and I’m sure it’ll never be stopped completely, but-”

“It’s a start,” you finished. “And a damn good start at that.”

“Thank you,” Rhys said, pushing himself off the bed quietly. Azriel helped you move so that you were sitting on the edge of the mattress, legs dangling off the side.

“How long will the trading ban last?” you inquired. Rhys shrugged.

“A while,” he said. “I haven’t decided yet.”

“At least ten years,” you said with a small grin. Azriel chuckled from behind you, the sound deep and warm. Rhys gave you an odd look.

“I was thinking more like a century or two, but yea, at least ten years,” he said. He looked at the entrance to the tent and back at you regretfully.
“I don’t want to leave, but I-”
“You have your fancy High Lord business now,” you said, waving a hand at him dismissively. “Go, be free.”

“I’m glad you’re alive,” he said quietly.

“Don’t make me get emotional,” you warned. He chuckled.

“I love you, (Y/n).”

“Love you, too,” you replied, giving him a small wave as he exited. You looked up at Az, his arm now wrapped delicately around your midsection to help support you. His other hand was resting lightly on your knee.

“Thank you, Az,” you murmured, resting your head against his chest.

“Of course.”

You relished in the soft rumble of his chest as he spoke, grinning as his shadows began to circle in front of you.

“Do you ever name them?” you asked softly.

“What?” he asked, looking down at you curiously. You gave him a sheepish smile.

“The shadows,” you clarified. He grinned, and your heart skipped a beat.

“No,” he said, “but I can tell them apart sometimes. It’s almost like they have their own personalities, if that makes sense.”

You nodded, shifting against him slightly and wincing. You felt him tense up.

“Are you alright?” he asked hesitantly, lifting his hand off your knee slowly as if to brace you, then dropping it again. “Is there anything I can do?”

You shrugged. “I guess I’m doing alright considering,” you said. “I mean, at least I’m not dead.”

Silence from Azriel. You sighed.

“Not that this situation is ideal, either,” you continued. Azriel’s grip on you tightened.

“I can’t imagine what you’re going through,” he said finally, his voice shaking slightly with an emotion you couldn’t identify. “I’ve tried, but I can’t.”

“Az-”

“It’s not fair.” His voice was a deadly whisper.

“It’ll be okay,” you said soothingly, reaching out for his hand and giving it a small squeeze. “I’ll be okay.”

Another pause. The two wounds in your back throbbed, the empty space hurting you more than any amount of pain.

“Azriel, it hurt so bad,” you whimpered, tears forming in your eyes as he wrapped an arm under your knees and lifted you into his lap.

He hugged you then, perhaps for the first time ever, and you buried your face into his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, cradling the back of your head with one hand and rubbing your back with the other. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

“Oh Az,” you sniffled, “there was nothing you could’ve done. The only other person who knew we were there was Rhys, and I don’t blame him.”

“Still-”

“It’s not your fault,” you insisted softly, wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. “But thank you.”
He nodded. “I’m still sorry it happened.” A whisper.

“It just-” you trailed off, trying to put into words what you were feeling. “It’s so weird, you know? My whole life I’ve had this weight on my back, that was just a part of me, and now it’s gone and I feel so light and empty at the same time.”

Azriel nodded, continuing to rub your back carefully, avoiding the bandages covering your cuts.

“They took a part of you,” he said finally, “but only one. And you, your kindness, the way you can light up any room you’re in, none of that came from your wings. You still have everything that makes you, you.”

You felt tears well up in your eyes and squeezed him a little tighter in your arms. “Az, thank you.”

Azriel rested his head against the side of yours, pulled you into him just a little bit more.

There was something he still wanted to say, you could feel it in the air around you. You were just about to ask him what he was thinking when he began to speak.

“(Y/n),” he said, nerves seeping into his voice, “there’s something I need to tell you, about when you winnowed to camp and we found you.”

“We?” you asked, pulling back to look at him curiously. He nodded.

“Rhys and I,” he clarified. “He was just leaving to meet up with you and…and then you just appeared, in the distance, and dropped to the ground.” His nostrils flared and he glanced downwards. “You were unconscious by the time we got to you, but Rhys ran to get the healers and I carried you here, and…”

His voice trailed off, and he looked up at you hesitantly. You urged him to continue.

“And when they had you in that bed, I couldn’t leave.” His voice trembled as he spoke, and you grabbed his hands to give them a comforting squeeze. “You looked so small, and helpless, and they told me I could go and that they’d call me when they were done stitching you up, but I couldn’t bear the thought of you being alone.”

He bit his lip, as if debating whether or not to keep going.

“Azriel,” you said softly, still holding his hands. “Say it. Whatever it is.” He glanced up at you and nodded.

“Something clicked, when you were lying here and they told us you were going to live.”

Your breath hitched, realizing what he meant. Azriel breathed deeply, then looked you straight in the eyes.

“(Y/n), you’re my mate.”

And as you truly looked back into his eyes for the first time since waking up, you felt something snap into place within yourself. Your eyes widened, and suddenly all you could feel and think about was him.

“Azriel,” you breathed, clutching his hands tighter. He perked up instantly, face hopeful as he reached up and cradled your face in his hands delicately.

“(Y/n)-”

“Holy fuck,” you breathed incredulously, giving him a small grin, “you’re my mate.”

“And…and you’re okay with that?” he asked cautiously, gaze boring into yours as you leaned closer to him.

“Yes,” you whispered, heart racing. “Yes.”

His lips were on yours in an instant, gently kissing you as he moved one hand to the back of your head, holding you gently as he trailed the other down your spine. You wrapped your arms around his back, ignoring the painful sting of your back that seemed absolutely unimportant compared to kissing Azriel, and pulled yourself closer to him.

He moaned softly as your fingertip brushed against his wing and your heart lurched, dizzy at the surge of feelings that washed over you.

You pulled back and laughed once, smiling as he tilted his head and gave you a lopsided grin.

“What’s so funny?” he asked, resting his forehead against yours gently.

“I’m just realizing I have no clue how to cook anything,” you giggled, shaking your head against his as he began to laugh with you.

“I’m sure we’ll figure something out,” he rasped, moving forward to capture your lips with his once again.

Fanart by talia.nobel on Twitter

Request: “Could you do a Cassian x reader that has some tension and some fluff because the reader wants to train and gets hurt?”

Tags:@acourtofbooksandfantasy​

Warnings: mentions of scrapes, reader falls and hurts themselves (nothing serious)

Word Count: 1,700

A/N: We’re back in business, folks. Happy Christmas if you celebrate! Here’s a Cassian fic to help make your holiday season even merrier :) Like and reblog if you enjoy <3

The sun was high in the sky, and you could actually see the heat radiating off the top of the House of Wind. Sweat trickled down your forehead as you sparred with Azriel…well, sparred was a bit of an exaggeration.

Really you’d just been practicing punches on him for an hour or so. The most he’d done was block a few of your poorly aimed strikes that went flying towards his face.

You genuinely sucked at fighting. It wasn’t necessarily your fault, you’d never had a reason to. Your “role” in the Inner Circle was essentially an over-glorified research position, reading up on all the history and threats and legends everyone else was too busy or lazy to do. It was completely unnecessary, but you were one of Mor’s only friends in the Court of Nightmares, and she’d insisted that Rhys give you some sort of job once he became High Lord.

You spent your days reading and interviewing and explaining, and with three Illyrians and Amren around, there’d never been any need to learn how to fight properly yourself. But threats had increased recently, and Rhys had decided you’d gone one decade too many without a real self-defense lesson.

“You’re not following through on any of these strikes,” Azriel stated bluntly. You huffed.

“I’m trying.”

“Well, you’re still not doing it,” he snorted. “Try envisioning yourself continuing the motion of the punch even after you hit me.”

You closed your eyes and did as he said, imagining your fist flying through Azriel’s face.

“Better,” he said.

Rhys and Cassian had been sword fighting on the other side of the roof when you’d come up, and the distant clang of metal let you know they were still here. You felt a twinge of jealousy knowing Mor was probably still asleep.

“Focus,” Azriel growled. You rolled your eyes.

“I am focused.”

A lie, you realized, as you misstepped and your foot slid out from under you. You yelped, noting the look of shock on Az’s face as you fell flat on your back, knocking the wind out of your lungs. Ouch.

“Holy shit, are you ok?” Azriel asked with wide eyes, kneeling down next to you and scanning you over quickly. You nodded slowly and blinked as he helped you sit up, not quite able to form words.

“What the fuck did you do to her, Azriel?”

You glanced over your shoulder, eyes bulging at the sight of Cassian barreling towards you with Rhys hot on his heels yelling for him to slow down. Azriel groaned loudly.

“I didn’t do anything, she slipped-”

“(Y/n) are you okay?” Cassian asked, dropping to his knees on the other side of you. He placed a large hand on your back, supporting you as he inspected you for any hidden injuries.

“I think so,” you replied, voice slightly shaky. “Just a little surprised is all.”

Cassian glared as Azriel accusingly. “You have to be more careful with her.”

“It was an accident,” Azriel replied dryly. “And she’s fine.”

“You were pushing her too hard!”

“Hello, I’m right here,” you interrupted, waving a hand in front of Cassian’s face. He looked down at you, irritation obvious on his face.

“You also need to be more careful,” he practically yelled. “You’re going to get yourself hurt!”

“I fell down, Cass, big deal,” you said defensively. “As if you three haven’t done much worse training before.”

“So? We’re talking about you, not us.”

“What the fuck kind of logic is that!” you retaliated.

“Cass, maybe you’re overreacting,” Rhys started, placing a hand on Cassian’s shoulder. The long-haired Illyrian rolled his eyes.

“Yea, Cass,” you said snarkily, pushing yourself off the ground. Azriel and Cassian stood up with you, arms outstretched slightly around you. You groaned, reaching out and pushing a very confused looking Cassian back a few steps.

“I’m not made of glass, guys!” you shouted as you grabbed Azriel and walked away. Az looked down at you and then back at Rhys and Cassian.

“That was…interesting,” he said finally as you walked down the steps leading back into the House of Wind.

“Cassian’s a prick,” you muttered. Azriel chuckled.

“Your hands are all scraped up, need any help patching them up?” he asked. You shook your head.

“Okay, let me know if you need anything else,” Azriel said as you walked into the nearest bathroom. “I’ll be in my room.”

“We’re still on to train tomorrow?” you asked, looking over your shoulder at him as you opened the medicine cabinet.

“Of course,” he replied.

“Thank you, Az.”

He nodded and gave you a small smile before continuing down the hallway, trails of shadows following after him.

You redirected your attention to the medicine cabinet, grabbing a roll of bandages and wincing slightly as the pain in your hands.

You dropped the bandages on the edge of the sink, brows furrowing as you realized there was no easy way for you to wrap them around your own hands. You sighed and turned to go find Azriel, and walked straight into Cassian’s chest.

You yelped in surprise, jumping a little as two hands grabbed your arms to steady you.

“You alright?” Cassian asked genuinely. You gulped, looking up at him and nodding quickly.

“You just scared me, is all,” you said smally. It was hard not to feel tiny when standing so close to him.

He glanced behind you at the open medicine cabinet. “Need any help?”

You bit your lip, considering your options, and then nodded.

He gave you a small smile and let his arms drop back to his sides. He gestured towards the vanity next to you with a fancy looking stool in front of it.

“Have a seat.” He paused, reconsidering. “Um, if you want to, of course. Or you can stand, up to you.” You chuckled, sitting down tentatively and looking back at him.

He grabbed the bandages in one hand and began rummaging around the medicine cabinet. “You need disinfectant, too, can’t have those scrapes getting all nasty.”

“Won’t that hurt?” you asked a little nervously. He gave you a reassuring glance.

“Not much, I promise.”

He finally found the bottle he’d been looking for, giving you a bright smile before walking over and dropping to his knees in front of you. Your face flushed, thinking of a million other situations you could be in with him in this position.

“What’s on your mind, gorgeous?” Cassian asked with a hint of a drawl. You glared at him, face heating up even more.

“Shut up,” you muttered, glancing down at your hands, the floor- anywhere but him.

He unscrewed the bottle, pouring some of the liquid inside onto a cloth he’d also found. He took one of your hands in his tentatively, his absolutely dwarfing yours.

You bit your lip nervously and let out a shaky breath. The scrapes were pretty big, you knew it would hurt a decent amount.

“Hey,” Cassian said gently, setting the cloth down on his knee and reaching up, resting a finger under your chin and tilting your face up. You met his eyes reluctantly, sucking in a breath at the genuine look in his eyes. “It won’t hurt that much, I promise.”

“Okay,” you practically whispered, watching as he gently grabbed the cloth again and began cleaning your hands.

You winced at the stinging sensation. “Ouch.”

“Sorry,” Cassian said apologetically, giving your hand a slight squeeze as he continued his motions. “You’re doing so good, I promise.”

You could only nod, blinking back tears as he moved to your other hands.

“So, so good for me,” he repeated soothingly. “Such a great job.”

Before you knew it, he was finishing wrapping the bandages around your palms, securing each with a tight knot and then resting your hands in your lap softly.

“All done,” he said with a small smile, sitting back on his heels and looking at you expectantly.

“Thank you,” you said genuinely, raising your hands to inspect them. “This is much better than anything I could’ve done myself.”

“Oh, you’re too kind,” Cassian chuckled.

“Seriously, though, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” he said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Consider it reparations for me yelling at you earlier.” He paused and looked down at his lap. “I’m sorry about that, by the way.”

“Well, I yelled, too,” you shrugged. “I’m also sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

“I know,” he said with a small smile. “And I also didn’t mean it. Just got nervous when I looked over and you were flat on the ground.”

“Yea, I can see how that would look precarious,” you laughed softly. Cassian shifted his weight forward and grabbed your hands gingerly, helping you to your feet as you stood up.

“I just get nervous,” he said. “The fact you have to train at all means Az and I might not be enough to keep you safe anymore.”

You shook your head. “It would be burdensome if you had to stay back to protect me every time there was a fight. At least this way I’ll be able to fend for myself, and you and Az might be able to help more people.”

“I’d rather protect you,” Cassian murmured lowly, reaching up to cup your face. You found yourself leaning into his touch, relishing in the warmth of it. “I’d rather keep you safe.”

“You’ll always keep me safe, Cass,” you whispered, looking up at him. “I just want to be able to keep myself safe, too.”

You paused, gazing softly at each other. You could’ve sworn he was leaning closer to you when you heard a dry cough from the doorway.

You screeched, the two of you jumping away from each other to see Azriel leaning against the doorframe with a knowing smirk on his face.

“I was coming back to make sure (Y/n) was alright, but I see she had some help bandaging her wounds.”

“Yea, just here to help, you know,” Cassian said awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. You would’ve laughed at his look of embarrassment if your own face hadn’t been redder than Mor’s lipstick.

“Well, this was great, guys,” you said quickly, clasping your hands together in front of you. “Cassian, thanks for the help. Azriel, see you tomorrow!” And with that you sped past Azriel and down the hallway towards your room, trying not to think about how badly you wanted to kiss Cassian.

The House, seeing Nessian is about to f*ck again for the thousand time this month:

Nesta:And where am I supposed to go?

Cassian:You’re coming with me, to train.

Nesta:

Cassian:

Helion: What are you thinking about?

Cassian: Your mother.

Helion:

ACOTAR:I ship Feylin. Although I dont know Rhysand if I should hate you or not. You’re giving me mixed vibes.

ACOMAF:Never mind, I think I’m going with Feysand. And add a bit of Nessian. And hello Elriel… I see some glimpse there.

ACOWAR:Definitely Feysand…DEFINITELY NESSIAN.. and oh my.. that Elriel is fully blasting now but add some Elucien to spice it up. I can see it. Amren… I really like your vibe with Varian, he’s hot and I dig it.

ACOFAS:Jeez I’m so done with Feysand, cute.. but done. And oh gods how much Nessian hurt. Elucien… what are we even doing in here? Elriel… are you going for it or not!?

ACOSF: Alright.. Nessian I love you… you’re my forever otp. Jeez Elriel… we are doing this then. Wait… I see some glimpse of Moerie going on. Lucien, just say you like Vassa.. I see you. Elucien where are you? Gwynriel trying to come out.

The fandom ending up confused asf after Acosf.

Dear Sarah, if you thought we would be at peace now that half of the ships are done… then let me tell you something:

Cassian: Doesn’t count when you use your hands to do most of the work.

Nesta: I bet that isn’t what you’ve been telling yourself at night.

Cassian: Is that what those smutty books teach you? That it’s only at night? It could be anytime—dawn’s first light, or when I’m bathing, or even after a long, hard day of practice.

Nesta: Sounds like you have a lot of time on your hands, Cassian.

Azriel:

Cassian:

Nesta:

Feyre became High Lady and partnered up with Rhysand while matching her powers to him.

Nesta became a Valkyrie and she’s on her path to become general one day of the female legion, matching Cassian powers and rank.

Elain will become a full Seer and she will match her powers with Azriel, making the best spy couple in history.

Cassian:

Nesta:

ACourt of Silver Flames without context:

Cassian: “Breathe”.

Rhysand:

Azriel walking in the House to get some dinner and sleep after a long day of spying:

Then hearing Nesta is about to start giving Cassian a BJ:

Now that has been months since the release of A Court of Silver Flames, I can safely put out my two cents that absolutely no one asked about.

I will start with things that I really enjoyed:

• Nesta’s journey into self-healing, and more into accepting herself and the past mistakes she has made. I think SJM did a great job into describing her mental health journey and I loved loved loved every single bit of it. Did I cry when she broke down in the mountains? Yes, but dont tell anyone.
• Nesta and Azriel friendship. That was something that I was manifesting into the universe and I was glad to see it become canon.
• Nesta’s new circle of friends. I loved how she was immediately accepted by Gwyn and Emerie, how the three of them complement each other.
• Nesta’s journey into becoming a Valkyrie and how she’s planning to one day lead a female unit.
• Nesta’s saving baby Nyx and Feyre. That was an emotional crazy scene and I loved it. (However, I wished we had a scene where she was holding baby Nyx).
• Eris. That’s it. I just love that he had a bigger role and I’m hoping to see more of him in the future.
• I loved seeing Elain stand for herself. And I’m here to see her journey. (Note aside: I loved those little crumbs we got from Elriel)
• The House of Wind.
• Helion.

Now let’s get into things that I found lacking or absolutely unnecessary or I just simply hated. And oh boy, it might be a big list:

• Cassian and Nesta’s relationship. Now, I shipped these two idiots since the moment Cassian showed up. I just vision them together (same with Elain and Azriel). I loved them in Acowar, and the bonus chapter but my god their relationship in Acosf was shit. The whole story. I hated every second of it. I’m gonna give Nesta a pass when it comes to her showing emotions because she’s a 24yrs woman who has been raised to be an Ice Queen, but Cassian!? A +500 warrior scared to ask if he can stay after sex to save his feelings? Naaaaaah that was pretty shit. And Nesta deserved more.

Dont get me wrong, I loved them training together, I loved them being protective over each other, I loved Cassian’s words in the mountains (on that punishing hike that I wont even comment)… but Cassian let me down in this book.

I was expecting a whole love speech coming out of his mouth that would make me cry for weeks. I was expecting him actually telling Nesta why he loves her, or at least a better mating revealing.

All we got was sex, sex, sex, sex, oh and did I mention sex already? It became so boring at one point that as soon as they went at it again, I just skipped the whole paragraph/chapter. (And yes, this is coming from a pretty dark romance reader).

• Rhysand and the inner circle are the perfect people who can never do any wrong. I hated that we never had a conversation between Nesta and Feyre where they fixed their issues, or Nesta and Rhysand, or Nesta and Mor? Or Nesta and Elain!???

Nesta took dancing lessons with Mor for a month and yet we never had a scene between the two of them at least bonding? Or letting some shit out? I mean, the same Mor who at the beginning was “toss her to the Night Court, we dont need her here”. Couldnt we just have a scene of Mor regretting saying that? No, we just had Nesta apologising to everything and everyone for what?

• Nesta’s and Amren relationship. What the fuck was that!? Nesta asking Amren for forgiveness on her knees. That rage me for days.
• Nesta asking Cassian to forgive her because of how she behaved last Solstice and Cassian was like “oh no worries, I already forgave you”. Dafuq!? Excuse me sir, shouldn’t you also ask Nesta to forgive you because of what you said to her that night too!?
• Nesta losing her powers. I get that she didnt want them, but considering she was in a journey to accept and love herself, I hated that she had to get rid of that part of her.
• The whole “Rhysand you should be High King”. That shit better never fucking happen. That’s the weakest plot ever.
• The Blood Rite was unnecessary. The stairs scenes were unnecessary.
• The Illyrian rebels plotline that was so important in Acofas but somehow got all washed away in Acosf as if it was a fever dream.
• We can all agree that sex was the main plot in this book and everything else was a background noise. Does anyone know anymore where the fuck is this serie going? Cause I dont. But will I still read the next books? Abso-fucking-lutely.
• The fandom wars. The Nessian story was so fucking bad in Acosf… everyone needed to jump to a next ship. And who we got? Elucien? Who can’t stand to be in the same room? Elriel? Who are not allowed to be in the same room? Or Gwynriel? Who only exists because people hate Elain and they finally have someone else than Mor or Emerie to ship with Az? (And yes, I said what I said and you know is true).
• Amren was a bitch in Acosf and I dont know why she keeps getting away with it. She has no powers now, someone better shut her up. Which is a shame cause I really liked her in Acowar.
• Tamlin storyline. Leave the man alone. You got your happy ending, no need to rub it on his face every damn second.
• Lucien and his band of exiles. Do we even know what the fuck is happening in that house they live?

In conclusion, Acosf was a 6/10. I think there were so so many opportunities to make those 800 pages memorable and all we got was sex, stairs, and more sex?

I get that the smutty scenes sell better, but not when the sex are just used as a refill. The reason why smutty scenes are so popular, is because they are the culmination of a well developed relationship. But if they’re starting as friends with benefits that turns into “ups, now we shackled together forever and I didnt even ask if that’s what you want but why dont you want it?”… you know it’s going to end up with a bad taste.

Anyway, as I said.. this is how I personally felt regarding Acosf. Everyone is entitled to their own feelings.

Cassian:“I see. I get a little too close and you shove me away again. Back to where it’s safe. Better to marry a viper like Eris than be with me.”

Nesta:“I am not with you, I am fuckingyou!”

Meanwhile outside the bedroom:

Mood:

Cassian calling Lucien fireling.

Nesta: “You’re an arrogant bastard.”

Cassian: “And you’re a haughty witch. We’re evenly matched.”

The Cauldron, fully aware why they’re mates:

Rhysand, every time someone dares to speak ill or treat bad Nesta from now on.

Dear Nesta:

I’m so proud of your journey.

Of your healing, of your fighting.

Seeing you overcome your traumas, step by step was so powerful.

And I’m so incredibly proud of your happy ending.

You deserved that and more.

It was an honour to witness your incredible strenght, but mostly… your journey to self love.

Rhysand bowing to Nesta is a sight that will forever live rent free on my mind.

Why I think Mor is problematic:

Now hold on to that… if you like her character, that’s fine I respect everyone’s choice but this is my personal opinion and I dont think I will ever like or accept Mor. And here’s why:

She comes from a wealthy family, raised as noble, she knows nothing about what being hungry and struggle through life means.

She was sold by her father to Eris in marriage, a proposal that was made by both Kier and Beron, for which none of them had a choice.

Mor was 17, so was Eris. No one seem to remember the little fact that he was a kid too, and go ahead and try to say no to Beron or go against his wishes. We all know what happens then. (If not, please ask Lucien..or his mother)

Mor, consciously, chose Cassian, a simple bastard with no family, no power to back him up, to lose her virginity with. Fully aware the consequences that will bring upon her. And not just herself, but Beron and Kier could have demanded Cassian’s head for it and no one would have been able to reject them. Not even Rhysand, considering he was not a High Lord back then, and his father had no reason to be in bad terms with either Beron nor Kier over a simply bastard.

Mor knew exactly the feelings Az had for her, her power is truth. Or she keeps saying. Meaning, she can identify when people lie or hide something. Despise his feelings (previous to her sleeping with Cass), she never made him aware that she doesn’t feel the same.

And before you go ahead and tell me “It’s been 500yrs, he can let it go, blah blah”. He had never ever ever confessed his feelings, he tried once and she shut him down before he even started. And that’s it. He never tried to push her, or pressure her as you all want to make it seem.

And I know for sure, by the way she acts with Cassian… that if Azriel makes any show of having feelings for Elain or any other female… Mor will not take it well.

But I know… she has been using his feelings for her for her own advantage. She keeps Cassian and Azriel tied on a leash… giving them a little taste here and there to make them think she can still be with one of them. She’s keeping her options “open”. All to conceal that she doesnt like men, for whatever reasons she prefers to keep it private, dont think for a moment that her “family” aka Inner Circle will judge her for it… specially considering Velaris is a “heaven for people like her”.

“But then she’d walked away, and Azriel hadn’t made a move, and… Mor was still there between then. Somewhere between friend and lover. Dear to him as family, but… Cassian had hated himself for that look on Azriel’s face afterward.

He’d had lovers, some for a night and some for months, and Mor had never cared, but…

This woman standing before him like a pillar of steel and flame… Cassian didn’t want to tell Mor about her. About how he’d touched her neck.”

Mor and Azriel:

Now Mor thinks that the problem is not with her, but with Az. That if she felt the same, he would never try to be with her because he doesn’t feel worthy of her. Now hold on a sec.. so you let your friend that you care about so much to really believe that? Instead of actually giving him a reason of why you cant be with him?

Mor and Cassian:

This is a weird ass relationship because previous to Cassian meeting Nesta, he really tought she could be with him. That there was a chance… and we know Mor has been using Cass as a buffer to cover her own sexuality. We know she uses him so she can never be alone with Az, as if he would jump into her or something.

But I really hate how she fucking poison his ear when it comes to Nesta. How she keeps following around to talk shit about Nesta, like girl.. why?

I get that you want to protect your friend… but he’s not a damn child? He’s a grown ass man? Capable of making his own choices?

I just fucking hate how she goes around telling people how nice she is, how lovely she is… how she wants to protect women, and girls over bros, blah blah but then treats Nesta like shit only because Cassian shows some interesting in her?

And btw.. Nesta has never ever ever said or done anything to Mor. She had one conversation, in which Mor fucking deserved that answer, but the moment Nesta showed some feelings for Cassian, Mor went straight to her throat!

One of the things that boiled my blood, and this is a HUGE SPOILER FROM THE LEAKED CHAPTER OF ACOSF SO PLEASE STOP READING NOW IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO KNOW!

is when Mor suggested to Cassian to drop Nesta in the Court of Nightmares. Like girl, knowing how they treat women there, knowing the shit that happened to you, knowing how much you love to show us that you hate it… you’re really that type of bitch to suggest that? What the fuck?

Another one is her, telling Nesta straightway behind Cassian’s back while rubbing her stomach to point out her old scars (which Nesta had nothing to do with) “I’ve met a lot of people like you, you dont deserve him”. And then when Cassian approaches them, she put on a smile on her face like nothing happened. Like how you gonna compared to what was done to you by YOUR OWN FATHER, to Nesta not wanting to be with Cassian!!??

I’m sorry but I hate that type of behaviour in a woman. I hate the “pick me girl”. And I hate sneaky bitches.

Everytime I picture Mor, this is what it comes to my mind:

A Court of Silver Flames, so far: