#feylin

Rereading ‘A court of thorns and roses’ after a year for research related purposes- part 1

Feyre was in her flop era babes

WAIT WHY DO I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO RECOLLECTION OF THIS CHARACTER HE’S NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN

Feyre so humble and selfless you guys she’s not like other girls frrr

Omg it’s almost like- like the wolf and the doe are a METAPHOR for the power dynamic between Feyre and Tamlin

GROWL??? RHYSAND IS THAT YOU??

Elain’s literally so annoying like honeybear why don’t you grow some vegetables or something

okay *Tamlin shows up*

This bargain makes no sense to me like i know there’s some bigger stuff going on but this is the equivalent of “you killed my bestie? well now you have to suffer living with me☺”

PROTECT NESTA AAAHHHH

Lucien was actually my favorite character in the first book he’s the only one with a personality

How to get the girl 101 with Tamlin

This is a self-call out too. I HAVE REGRETS.

ACOTAR:I ship Feylin. Although I dont know Rhysand if I should hate you or not. You’re giving me mixed vibes.

ACOMAF:Never mind, I think I’m going with Feysand. And add a bit of Nessian. And hello Elriel… I see some glimpse there.

ACOWAR:Definitely Feysand…DEFINITELY NESSIAN.. and oh my.. that Elriel is fully blasting now but add some Elucien to spice it up. I can see it. Amren… I really like your vibe with Varian, he’s hot and I dig it.

ACOFAS:Jeez I’m so done with Feysand, cute.. but done. And oh gods how much Nessian hurt. Elucien… what are we even doing in here? Elriel… are you going for it or not!?

ACOSF: Alright.. Nessian I love you… you’re my forever otp. Jeez Elriel… we are doing this then. Wait… I see some glimpse of Moerie going on. Lucien, just say you like Vassa.. I see you. Elucien where are you? Gwynriel trying to come out.

The fandom ending up confused asf after Acosf.

Dear Sarah, if you thought we would be at peace now that half of the ships are done… then let me tell you something:

Hey queens time for another song analysis. This one is so accurate in my opinion and it it me like a ton of bricks when I realized Tolerate It by Taylor Swift is legit Tamlin and Feyre in acomaf. 

“I sit and watch you reading with your
Head low
I wake and watch you breathing with your
Eyes closed”

So Feyre feels like she’s helpless all the time that she’s at the spring court. She feels like she’s just watching Tamlin do things that shes never included in. Also, This shows how closed off Tamlin is. This definitely also connects to how Feyre would wake up from her nightmares and Tamlin wouldn’t do anything to help her. Notice how it doesn’t even say that she’s watching him sleep, only breathing with his eyes closed, like he’s pretending to sleep. He’s pretending he doesn’t see her struggling. 

“I sit and watch you
And notice everything you do or don’t do
You’re so much older and wiser and I” 

During this time, Feyre’s life revolved around Tamlin– she wouldn’t do anything else and didn’t have the freedom to do much else. Also, the line “so much older and wiser” reflects how she still feels human compared to the fae, like Tamlin, who are way older and more experienced. This made her feel even more worthless. 

“I wait by the door like I’m just a kid
Use my best colors for your portrait
Lay the table with the fancy shit
And watch you tolerate it”

Okay so I love this section because it shows how she felt like Tamlin’s “pet.” She waited for permission and craved his approval. She would listen to him when he told her not to do something, like she was a child. I also love the “use my best colors for your portrait” line bc as we all know Feyre is an artist, and even though she wasn’t actually painting at this time, she painted a picture of Tamlin in her head that was really idealized version that she fell in love with. The next line is Feyre trying to make herself comfortable with the idea of being Lady of the Spring court and staying at the manor. And of course, we see that Tamlin loves her, but he doesn’t love her enough to let her live her own life and have her own independence. He tolerates her objections, because he feels overly possessive of her. 

“If it’s all in my head tell me now
Tell me I’ve got it wrong somehow
I know my love should be celebrated
But you tolerate it”

This is kind of just an internal monologue where she feels like she deserves better sometimes, but she also has so much going on that she thinks she could be imagining it. Her mental health was really bad, so she’s dismissing it as a product of her being broken, because she doesn’t see that he’s the one actually breaking her. 

“I greet you with a battle hero’s welcome
I take your indiscretions all in good fun
I sit and listen
I polish plates until they gleam and glisten
You’re so much older and wiser and I”

I love, love, love this because this actually happens– Tamlin refuses to let her come with him on some outing to the wall (i think) and she just has to see him when he gets home. She ignores the parts about him that are red flags, because she doesn’t know what else to do. She plays a “good wife” role because she thinks that’s all she can amount to, since he never told her otherwise. 

“While you were out building other worlds, where was I?
Where’s that man who’d throw blankets over my barbed wire?”

Tamlin is constantly out doing his High Lord duties, and trying to make peace. Feyre feels like she should be doing so much more but she’s always stuck at home, and told that she wouldn’t be of use anywhere else. She missed the way that she felt when she first fell in love with him, when she felt like he healed her. She doesn’t recognize who he is anymore– now all he seems to do is hurt her. 

“I made you my temple, my mural, my sky
Now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life“

Feyre romanticized the shit out of Tamlin. All of her paintings were about him and the spring court. Tamlin never really gave a shit about her– he just wanted her to be his. What did he do when he had a chance to help her UTM? He tried to take advantage of her. smh. Her happiness was never really a priority for him. They were never going to be equals… he told her that High Lady existed. If he really wanted her to be a bigger part of his life he would have done what Rhys did. But ofc he didn’t. 

“Drawing hearts in the byline
Always taking up too much space or time
You assume I’m fine
But what would you do if I, I”

I legitimately don’t think that Tamlin ever had the thought that he was smothering Feyre. I don’t even hate Tamlin… I lowkey feel bad for him especially after what he tells her in acowar. I digress. He still didn’t care enough to really see what was going on and he just assumed that she could be able to sort out her trauma buy stuffing it all down like how he does, which makes Feyre feel 10x more broken for not being able to cope, since obviously that’s not healthy, and doesn’t work. 

“Break free and leave us in ruins
Took this dagger in me and removed it”

YAY now she is thinking about leaving bc yes what a queen. Specifically, leaving them in ruins, reminds me of acowar where she legit leaves the spring court in absolute shambles. Also, the dagger line reminds me of the way she had to kill those two faeries in the third task. She never felt the same after that, so taking the dagger out would represent her having to move on and accept what she did.

“Gain the weight of you then lose it
Believe me, I could do it”

She gained tamlins love, until realizing that it wasn’t what she wanted or needed anymore. And she starts thinking that she could really leave him.. AND SHE DOES so good for her. Because we got Feysand<3