Bread’s Game Journal 04/29/22: Congratulations Vampire Survivors, You Play Yourself.

Vampire Survivors has been out for awhile, it costs $3, multiple people I know have told me I would really like it, and I only just got around to buying and playing it. I’m the fool in this situation, because this game rips.

If you haven’t heard of Vampire Survivors before, I’ll lay it out simply: Imagine Castlevania, but in a big open level, the game does all the attacks for you in a constant cycle, then add in ten thousand skeletons who all want to whip you to death. It’s honestly hard to get down to a concise description, because it’s a supremely odd game, one that wouldn’t even really be out of place on Newgrounds in 2002. It’s a game out of time, and it rules.

As I said before, all of the attacks are done for you. All your job as the player is, grab the experience point gems as quickly and safely as you can, as thousands of monsters descend on you. It sounds imposing and difficult, but the key thing about those aforementioned attacks: they’re all insanely powerful. Axes carve through multiple enemies in an arc, Garlic radiates an aura that constantly damages any enemy that gets too close, the whip lashes out to your left and right at regular intervals, and there’s even a bird friend who drops bombs on enemies in a random pattern.

Even with the ever increasing power you work with, though, the hordes of enemies only get bigger and stronger. It’s a constant arms race to stay ahead of the monsters, making your own auto attacks even more powerful and wide reaching all the time. By the end of one round today, I had an aura of garlic so powerful I could basically stand still for a few minutes before any monster actually got close enough to damage me without disintegrating.

But that power is all too easy to lull you into slowing down, because no matter how strong you get, your enemies are increasing in power as well. Bats become skeletons, skeletons become ghosts, ghosts become werewolves, and so on and so forth. All more dangerous than the last, making what was once a hyper overpowered build simply not enough. Keeping you on the move and making the need for more XP an ever growing concern.

Honestly I’ve written so much about this game but all I really need to say is this: This is on Steam, it will run on basically any computer, and it costs $3. It would be a steal at 15, and it’s about the cost of a bag of chips. I would urge anyone looking for something silly, simple, and fun to spend time with, to check this game out right away. Don’t wait like three months like me, who, again, is a fool.

As a joint Winter Solstice / Christmas gift, we’ve put a 15% discount on Fadó!
Dive into the world of Irish myth today at:

https://store.steampowered.com/app/1148200/Fad_Chapter_One/