#cherryblod

(978): I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!

(973): Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.

(703): She said she couldn’t find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis

(1-703): Every man deserves at least one moment like that

(512): My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin’s tricycle. For a solid five minutes.