Everyone knows that Dungeons & Dragons is a secret tool of the devil to lure young, impressionable minds away from their rightful savior and forever trap their souls in unholy perdition, right? Well, in case you didn’t know, the upcoming Zombie Orpheus Entertainment-produced film Dark Dungeons is going to set you straight this summer.
God bless Jack Chick. He managed to be offended that Thanksgiving is “no longer” a religious holiday.
I love how Chick conflates a legitimate medical concern with being a rude, self-absorbed jerk. I guess thanks to today’s PC culture, peoples’ medical conditions being acknowledged is just out of control.
Wow, what a diverse range of immorality! Tattoos, disrespecting elders, hard drugs, drunkenness and plunging necklines! This family seems fun. No one ever brings PCP and crack to my Thanksgivings :/
Gasp! Such language! I hope you’re all clutching your pearls appropriately! “Dummy!” “Geek!” Land sakes!
Oh sweet merciful crap. Where do I start with this? 1. No one is not allowed to discuss religious holidays in school. Let alone not say a particular word. Teachers are not allowed to lead prayer or otherwise proselytize to students. 2. Thanksgiving, unlike Christmas and Easter, is not a Christian holiday. Unless, of course, you’re one of those “America is a Christian nation and everything is about Jesus!” types; in other words, Jack Chick. Even if religious words were banned in schools, “Thanksgiving” would not be one of them, as it’s already a secular holiday.
And by “reach the lost” he means with smallpox.
Something. You heard it right here folks. Native Americans are not people, they are things.
Nothing but rocks, trees and wild animals. I can only assume that indigenous people (aka THE “INDIANS” MENTIONED IN THE VERY NEXT PANEL) are included with the wild animals. Nice of God to throw them under the bus in favor of the white invaders, too.
j/k it was Squanto
Okay, 1. NO; 2. NO; 3. NO; 4 - you see where I’m going with this. No one’s here for a history lesson, and I think we all get that the traditional Thanksgiving story is a load of hooey even before Chick’s own little take on it skews it further.
The most basic Chick moral lesson of all: never thank another human for doing something for you. And, apparently, it’s sacrilege to love your mom. Chick really fucking hated Catholics, didn’t he? And don’t fucking try to tell me that God doesn’t love pie. I have many, many questions about the ways of the Universe, but I will never accept that as anything other than absolute truth. God loves pie.
When, exactly, was it our “most honored day?” How do you even find out something like that? I mean, I hate to accuse Jack Chick of all people of pulling stuff out of his ass, but…
The family also contains gays, nihilists, an obvious liar and someone who recognizes that Jesus’s name was actually Yeshua. Can’t have any of that, can we?
“Because recognizing His own immortality, He realized that it wasn’t that big of a deal, and He could milk it for eternity.”
“Satan’s crowd partied for three days.” I give up. Nothing I can ever say will be funnier than Jack Chick attempting to be “hip” and “with it.”
Okay, but if Jesus’s resurrection meant that Satan’s minions were “dead meat,” how come Satan apparently still has a mega-hold on this planet?
I love that she’s not mad Uncle Mort told her she was going to Hell. She’s just annoyed that Brad thinks he’s too good for them. Really, he is being pretty fucking rude.
I have so many questions. But in the end I’ll go with “Why is Satan honking that guy’s tit?”
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
A few days late this year but hey, a tradition’s a tradition.
