#click-o-meter

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Hello again, Tumblr Today, as part of Brick's Click-A-Thon 2022, we introduced the new Click-O-Meter to help you click and fidget as you browse. Why did we do this? We really don’t know. Browsing the Hellsite has become an intensely weird experience. We introduced widgets to help you relax and unwind as you browse the art, culture, and content you know and love, but it’s a lose-lose—the more you click, the more these things are malfunctioning. And the more you click, the more it boosts crab infestation across Tumblr. We won’t bore you with the details, but in short, increased engagement is increased Synergy. Whatever that means. From today, you will have seen a light switch in the corner of your desktop dashboard on web. Click it off, everyone. Just deactivate it, and let’s keep those digital spells as far from here as possible. We’re not sure what the full consequences could be here. Crabs, wizards, pizzas—you name it, don’t click it. What else is new? As if that wasn’t enough, Mr. Brick Whartley is back from a long stay on an undisclosed tropical island. We should probably talk to him about this, and perhaps take a look at return flights too. We can only apologize, folks. And remember—no clicking.

@brickwhartley PLEASE SEE ABOVE AND ANSWER YOUR EMAIL!

#click-a-thon #click a thon 2022 #click-o-meter #brick whartley #widgets #buttons #dont click anything #seriously dont click a thing #synergy update #where are you brick 
Tumblr Staff@staff
Fri, 01 Apr 2022 16:30:56
Hello folks, We are receiving early, unconfirmed reports that some widgets appear to be glitching and malfunctioning. But don’t panic—our engineers from the Office of Viral Engagement and Synergy are taking a little look. Normal service should be resumed shortly, and enjoy the widgets in the meantime. On a side note, we would also like to ask Brick to answer his emails. This isn’t exactly what we had in mind, Brick. Our servers aren’t built to handle this many crabs, for one thing. The tumbeasts were bad enough. Check your phone, get on a video call. We can see you active on LinkedIn and we need to discuss this as soon as possible. Thanks.

@brickwhartley please please pleas please see above!!!

#click-a-thon #click a thon 2022 #click-o-meter #brick whartley #things are breaking brick #synergy update #everythings fine 
Tumblr Staff@staff
Fri, 01 Apr 2022 14:00:10
Hey there, Tumblr. Today we are introducing a new Click-o-Meter to help you click and fidget as you browse. Why are we doing this? Browsing the Hellsite can occasionally be a stressful experience. We are introducing widgets to help you relax and unwind as you find the art, culture, and content you know and love. It’s a win-win—the more you click, the more you see. And the more you click, the more it boosts engagement on Tumblr. We won’t bore you with the details, but in short, increased engagement is increased Synergy. And increased Synergy can only be a good thing. From today, April 1, you will see a light switch in the corner of your desktop dashboard. Click it, activate it, and you will see an array of digital folk you can interact with and have fun with. Crabs, wizards, pizzas—you name it, you click it. A little fun from us, and it’s on the house. What else is new? As if that wasn’t enough, Mr. Brick Whartley is back from a long stay on an undisclosed tropical island. And you heard the man—why not relieve some stress, exercise that index finger of yours, and make today an all-time record for clicks on Tumblr? You know you want to. That’s all for now, folks. Happy clicking.

Welcome back @brickwhartley!

#welcome back brick #click-a-thon #click a thon 2022 #click-o-meter #keep on clickin #wizards and crabs and pizza oh my #synergy update #happy clicking 
Tumblr Staff@staff
Fri, 01 Apr 2022 12:00:38
OFFICIAL TUMBLR PRESS RELEASE For Hellsite Eyes only…, Tumblr Inc. is today delighted to announce the promotion of Senior Financial Advisor Brick Whartley to the role of Head of Viral Marketing and Exponential Growth, which he will balance alongside his other new position as Front End Software Developer. It follows his success with the introduction of TumblCoin in 2018 and Non-Fungible Tumblcryptids (NFTs) in 2021. * In a statement today, Mr. Whartley said: “Following my extended staycation on a remote, unnamed desert island, after the wild success of my previous initiatives in Heading Viral Marketing and Exponential Growth, I am delighted to be back at Tumblr in these fantastic new roles—with a fantastic new tan! My first mandate will be to increase clicks across the platform by any means necessary. So let me introduce to you my Click-a-Thon 2022! Our initial synergy meeting generated some ideas just overflowin’ with The Wow Factor: digital fidget spinners! Everybody loves ‘em! Babies love ‘em, teens love ‘em, even adults love a good fidget spinner! With that in mind, our focus for the last week has been to develop as many widgets as we can for the Tumblr dashboard on desktop web. We’re launching them all at once, right now, to align all verticals into one major event. Everyone should see a light switch in the corner of your desktop dashboard—flip it right now to begin clickin’! Get busy flippin’! Throughout the day, we’ll be tracking everyone’s mice clickin’ and clackin’, analyzing patterns and behavior, and making further refinements to maximize discoverability. Users on Tumblr can watch this total aggregate engagement KPI through the floating Click-o-Meter at the bottom of the page. Tumblr and I will also be posting regular updates right here on our Synergy blog. So come on and Click-a-Thon 2022. Here’s to a profitable quarter—and let’s get fidgety with it!” Yours sincerely, Mr. Brick Whartley, * Chief Officer of Viral Engagement and Synergy, Tumblr Front End Software Developer, Tumblr Business Man

Congratulations@brickwhartley!!

(And to clarify Brick, the switch is in the top left corner.)

#congrats brick whartley #click-a-thon #click a thon 2022 #click-o-meter #flip that switch #lets get fidgety with it #official press release 
Tumblr Staff@staff
Fri, 01 Apr 2022 09:55:11

staff:

Hey there, Tumblr. Today we are introducing a new Click-o-Meter to help you click and fidget as you browse. Why are we doing this? Browsing the Hellsite can occasionally be a stressful experience. We are introducing widgets to help you relax and unwind as you find the art, culture, and content you know and love. It’s a win-win—the more you click, the more you see. And the more you click, the more it boosts engagement on Tumblr. We won’t bore you with the details, but in short, increased engagement is increased Synergy. And increased Synergy can only be a good thing. From today, April 1, you will see a light switch in the corner of your desktop dashboard. Click it, activate it, and you will see an array of digital folk you can interact with and have fun with. Crabs, wizards, pizzas—you name it, you click it. A little fun from us, and it’s on the house. What else is new? As if that wasn’t enough, Mr. Brick Whartley is back from a long stay on an undisclosed tropical island. And you heard the man—why not relieve some stress, exercise that index finger of yours, and make today an all-time record for clicks on Tumblr? You know you want to. That’s all for now, folks. Happy clicking.

Welcome back @brickwhartley!

#welcome back brick #click-a-thon #click a thon 2022 #click-o-meter #keep on clickin #wizards and crabs and pizza oh my #synergy update #happy clicking 
An Unofficial Tumblr History Archive@historianoftumbles
Sat, 02 Apr 2022 07:46:02
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