#clueless customers
“Nobody can find them anywhere,” this customer explains, “It’s like nobody makes them anymore. Those wonderful cool, crisp percale sheets. They’re just so cold when you first get into bed, and crisssp. Those wonderful 50/50 blends… and they never wrinkle. You just can’t find them anymore.”
“Well, we do sell percale sheets. They are 100% cotton though; we don’t sell any cotton polyester blend sheets, and the nature of percale weaves is that they will wrinkle.”
“Noo, I don’t want sheets that wrinkle.”
“The only sheets we sell that don’t wrinkle are the cotton sateen sheets.”
“Oh, I hate sateen. They’re too soft and they’re warm. Why doesn’t anybody make those wonderful crisp cool percales anymore? There’s SO MANY people looking for them. You wouldn’t believe it, but there’s a whole [web]page full of people looking for real percale sheeting! A whole PAGE!”
I’m honestly picturing this woman looking online and finding only one website where old ladies are talking about the percale sheets their mothers used and how they can’t find those types of sheets anywhere.
“We do have customers who prefer percales because they’re cooler and crisper than the sateen weaves. Most of our customers seem satisfied with our Italian percales or organic cotton percale sheets. However, they do wrinkle.”
“But I don’t want them to wrinkle!”
“Well, this is what we sell. Our only wrinkle free sheet is the cotton sateen, which is why that sheeting line is our most popular bedding collection. The only way to get a wrinkle free percale is to purchase a cotton/poly blend, and we only sell all cotton sheeting. That’s what our customer want. They’ve become very wary of synthetic fibers and chemicals, so the majority of our customers demand all natural fiber blends for our fabrics. This is why we carry the selection we carry.”
“But I want those cool crisp percales. I’m one of your customers.”
“Then I recommend you look into our Italian percales. It’s the closest in texture to the sheets (she brought in pillowcases of the sheets she’s trying to replace) you’re looking for.”
“I bet everything here is made in China, too.”
“Actually, we have percales that are made in Italy (I just fucking told you this… we don’t call it “Italian Percale” for shits and giggles), our organic percale is made in Portugal, we carried sheets made in France and Pakistan, etc…”
“Ooo, where are your French percales?”
“We don’t have any right now. We’ve carried them in the past - usually only in patterned styles.” I show her the style we currently have that’s made in Pakistan that is a near exact comparison between it and the French style.
“So, this one is made in France?”
“No, this one is made in Pakistan. It’s unchanged from how the original French sheeting in this pattern feels. Whenever I have customers looking for a classic, crisp percale, they usually prefer this texture.” She feels the fabric, hums, hahs, and finally agrees that she likes it.
“Where are your sheets like this?”
“We only have this pair of pillowcases. It’s a current item in our catalog, and since we’re an outlet we usually won’t get these new patterns unless they’re returned from catalog orders or discontinued.”
“Where are the regular sheets from France?”
“By regular do you mean solid colors?”
She looks at me like I’m stupid… so I continue, “We don’t carry the French fabric in solids. We only occasionally have it with seasonal patterns. If you want a solid color, I recommend the Italian percale. It’s the closest in texture to these pillowcases.” I show her a discontinued brown pillowcase in the Italian percale pointing out, “We’re no longer producing this color, so we’ve marked it down for clearance. It’s $29 from $79.”
“Do you have that in any other colors?”
“Yes, but those other colors are still current and therefore full price at $79.”
“Well, I can see why that color is marked down. It’s awful.” Beggars can’t be choosers, woman. She goes on complaining, “Oh, why don’t they make those wonderful percales anymore? It’s not like nobody wants them. There’s a whole page of people looking for them! Even on facebook - people keep saying they have to go to yard sales to find those perfect percale sheets. Imagine it - YARD SALES!”
I finally get her over to the register. She’s decided to get the percale pillowcase from Pakistan, but she’s still grumbling about the price and how she’s worried these aren’t going to be the most wonderful pillowcases ever… “If you’re unhappy with them,” I reassure her, “just hang onto your receipt, and you’ll have thirty days to return the pillowcases and get your money back.” She purchases the pillowcases, and keeps mumbling her way out the door how nobody makes wonderful percales sheets anymore that are cool, crisp, and never wrinkle…
